Five years in, she鈥檚 married to a man who has remained exactly who he said he was from day one, and that, surprisingly, has been one of the hardest things to adjust to.

This is a look into Shallom’s Marriage Diary.

Got a marriage story to share? Please听听and we鈥檒l reach out.

I thought marriage would be soft and romantic

I always imagined marriage as this sweet, romantic thing where it鈥檚 just you and your husband and everything is soft and perfect. Funny enough, in all those imaginations, I didn鈥檛 even use to picture children. It was always just the man and the woman against the world.

And you can blame novels for that. Those books hardly focused on what happens after children are born. It was always about love, emotions, and romance. So for most of my formative years, that was what I thought marriage would look like.

But by the time I got to senior secondary school, reality started to set in. My parents loved each other, no doubt. They were very expressive about it. But when they fought, it was something else entirely. The whole house would feel it. They could go a full week without speaking to each other, passing messages through us, the children.

So I grew up coming to terms with two truths at the same time. Love can be sweet and expressive, but it can also be intense and difficult. That was when I realised marriage wouldn鈥檛 just be one smooth, jolly ride.

Still, I believed that, like my parents, my own marriage would always find a way to work itself out.

My biggest surprise is that my husband hasn鈥檛 changed

The biggest surprise in my marriage is my husband himself; that man has remained exactly the same.

We met after NYSC, and from the very first conversation, I could tell he was very clearheaded. He knew what he wanted from life, and he wasn鈥檛 playing games. As we got closer, I started noticing things that almost felt too good to be true. He doesn鈥檛 keep late nights. He doesn鈥檛 drink. He doesn鈥檛 womanise. He doesn鈥檛 even like parties.

In my head, I was already saying 鈥測inmu鈥�. I just assumed it was a front. I told myself, 鈥淟et鈥檚 just enter this marriage first, everything will reveal itself.鈥�

But five years later, nothing has changed. Even his temperament. My husband doesn鈥檛 get angry. Or let me say, he hardly gets angry. You have to really, really push him to his absolute limit before you鈥檒l see anything close to anger. And even then, he still manages to express himself calmly.

I used to think it was an act. Even my friends would say, 鈥淛ust wait, men always change.鈥� But now, even they have accepted that this might just be who he is. And honestly, I鈥檓 grateful. Because, as it stands, this man has remained one of the best things that has happened to me.

I once tried to set him up, and it changed how I see conflict

This part still embarrasses me when I think about it. 

When we started talking seriously about marriage, some of my friends kept insisting that no man is without a vice. They were convinced he must be hiding something. So one of them suggested I create a fake account and test him, and I actually did.

For two days, I was texting my own boyfriend from a fake profile. He responded, and I won鈥檛 lie, at some point, I got angry. I felt like, 鈥淪ee him. So this is how it starts.鈥� But the truth is, he kept everything very civil. He made it clear he was in a relationship and didn鈥檛 cross any lines. Then he blocked the account.

I didn鈥檛 even stop there. I tried again with a different account and got the same result. At that point, I felt satisfied enough to confess that it was me. He was deeply hurt when I told him. 

That moment really forced me to look at myself. He said something that stayed with me. That if I didn鈥檛 trust him, then there was no point moving forward. And he was right. I had to really ask myself if I appreciated what I had or if I was about to ruin something good because of outside noise.

Thankfully, we were able to move past it, but it remains one of the most unnecessary risks I鈥檝e ever taken.

Nobody told me it could be hard to argue with a calm person

One thing nobody prepared me for is how difficult it can be to be with someone who doesn鈥檛 like conflict.

Sometimes, when we argue, I want to shout. I want to express myself loudly. I want to vent. But my husband? Even when he鈥檚 clearly upset, he will still speak calmly. And somehow, that calmness can make you feel like you鈥檙e the one overreacting.

Growing up, the advice was always, 鈥淏e patient. Don鈥檛 argue too much. Apologise first.鈥� But nobody tells you what to do when your partner doesn鈥檛 even engage in the kind of arguments you鈥檙e prepared for.

I used to complain to my mum that my husband is 鈥渢oo gentle鈥� and too quick to apologise, and she didn鈥檛 understand me at all. In her mind, that was a blessing. She dealt with a man who could hold a grudge for weeks, so she couldn鈥檛 relate to my complaint.

But over time, I鈥檝e had to adjust. If it鈥檚 shouting you鈥檙e looking for, you won鈥檛 get it from my husband. And the funny thing is, even without raising his voice, he knows how to say things in a way that lands deeply.

I鈥檝e had to learn to approach conflict differently. I won鈥檛 lie, I鈥檓 still learning, but I can say I鈥檝e improved.

I once took things too far

There was a particular incident that really forced me to reflect.

My younger cousin was staying with us for the holidays, and one day he spoilt something in the kitchen after I had clearly warned him not to use it. I got angry and beat him, then started shouting. My husband was there watching everything.

I expected him to back me up. Even if he didn鈥檛 beat the boy, at least raise his voice or show some kind of authority. But instead, he calmly sat the boy down and started talking to him.

That irritated me even more. I turned my anger on him and said things I shouldn鈥檛 have said, especially in front of the child. After that, he just picked his keys and left the house. He didn鈥檛 come back until midnight.

That was one of the few times I knew I had really pushed him.

When he came back, I apologised. And, as always, we talked it through calmly. But that moment stayed with me. It reminded me again of the kind of man I married and the kind of person I needed to be if I wanted this marriage to work.

Marriage has changed me in quiet ways

Marriage has changed me in many positive ways. I鈥檓 someone who likes to reflect and grow, so being with someone like my husband has influenced me without him even trying too hard. I鈥檝e noticed that I鈥檓 calmer now, even outside my marriage.

There are situations with my relatives where I would have reacted immediately before, but now I pause. And when I handle things calmly, they鈥檒l even joke and say, 鈥淪ee what your husband has done to you.鈥�

He鈥檚 also a complete homebody. He doesn鈥檛 go out, doesn鈥檛 party. And somehow, I鈥檝e grown into that lifestyle too. I now enjoy being at home, spending time with family, and having my own space.

Sometimes I even try to test him, suggesting solo trips or outings, just to see if there鈥檚 still another side to him I haven鈥檛 seen. But he never takes the bait. He鈥檚 content exactly as he is, and I鈥檝e learned to appreciate that.

Love alone isn鈥檛 enough

If I could speak to my younger self, I would tell her this: You deserve good things, and when they come, don鈥檛 question them too much.

A lot of my earlier actions came from a sense that something this good couldn鈥檛 be real. Even now, there are moments I catch myself thinking, 鈥淚s this too good to be true?鈥�

But I鈥檓 learning to accept it, to enjoy what I have without trying to sabotage it.

As someone who once believed in fairy tales, I used to think love was enough for anything. But real life is different. Love is important, yes. But you also need communication, tolerance, understanding, and even things like a healthy sex life. All these things work together to sustain a marriage.

Because the truth is, there will be moments when love doesn鈥檛 feel as strong. And in those moments, it鈥檚 all these other things that will keep you grounded and keep the relationship going. Without them, love alone will not survive.

 *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.

Got a marriage story to share? Please听听and we鈥檒l reach out.

Fatima* (26) and Toba* (29) met in July 2025 at an amusement park in Lagos. 

On this week’s Love Life, they talk about the embarrassing moment that led to their first interaction, why he initially hesitated to pursue a relationship with her, and her decision to date someone who doesn’t fit her usual type.

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this听.

What’s your earliest memory of each other?

Fatima: We met at a Lagos amusement park in July 2025. I was supposed to go with my friends, but they bailed at the last minute. I decided to go alone since I鈥檇 already booked my ticket. Toba was seated beside me on one of the rides.听

When it started spinning and going really fast, I screamed at the top of my lungs. I wasn’t mentally prepared for how intense and aggressive it would be. Then the absolute worst thing that could happen happened: my wig flew off. It went flying through the air. I was mortified beyond words. I wanted the ground to swallow me whole.听

When the ride finally stopped, and we got off, I was so disoriented, dizzy, and nauseous from the spinning that I threw up right there. It was the most humiliating moment of my entire life. But he stepped in to check on me. He offered me water and heaped sand on my vomit. It was the nicest gesture I鈥檇 gotten from a stranger in a really long time.

Toba: I was at the park with my brother, nephew, and nieces. Just a random weekend outing with family. We were trying different rides, having fun. I noticed Fatima when she sat beside me on one of the rides. In my head, I was like 鈥淒amn! Who鈥檚 this pretty babe?鈥� But it was just a passing thought, not like I planned to make a move or anything. 

After the whole throwing-up episode, I felt concerned for her. My family tried to make sure she was comfortable. Then we left to try other attractions with my nieces and nephews, but I kept thinking about her, wondering if she was okay. So I came back to check on her. I did this two more times. By the third time I came back, she seemed much more settled and stable.

Fatima: When he came back the third time, he asked me to join his family for the rest of the day. On a normal day, I would have immediately turned down an invitation like that from a stranger. But at that point, after how kind he’d been, it didn’t seem harmful. I said yes.

Toba: We spent the rest of the day together at the park. My nieces and my nephew liked her. When it was time to leave, my brother insisted we drop Fatima off at home since her place was on our route. That’s when we exchanged contact information.

Sounds like the perfect meet up. What happened after that day?

Toba: I went snooping around Fatima’s Instagram. I just wanted to get a sense of her personality. Plus, I wanted to see more pictures of her. I liked everything I saw, and she ticked all my boxes physically. But despite all of that, I didn’t reach out.听

She鈥檚 a pretty babe, and I know from years of experience and observation that pretty girls are always hard to chase. They have multiple guys in their DMs trying to talk to them, and they’re used to receiving attention and compliments from all directions. I wasn’t in the right headspace to do that kind of heavy chasing at that time, as I was in the middle of preparing for very important professional exams.  So I moved on.

I see. Did you try to reach out, Fatima? 

Fatima: About a week after the park incident, I texted Toba. I apologised for not thanking him properly earlier for helping me that day. Honestly, I’d actually forgotten to reach out. The whole experience at the park was so embarrassing and overwhelming that I didn’t really process or think about the part where I’d received help from Toba and his family. When I finally remembered days later, I texted him immediately to say thank you.

Toba: When she texted, I used that opportunity to get closer since she’d reached out first. I tried to keep the conversation going beyond her 鈥渢hank you鈥� message. I’d randomly text her throughout the week about different things. Soon, we were talking regularly, and we developed a friendship.

Fatima: Was it exactly a friendship? Toba wanted more, and I could already tell from his behaviour. He would ask questions about my love life, whether I was seeing anyone, and what I was looking for. Or he’d randomly bring up his own relationship history even when I hadn’t asked. It was obvious where his mind was.

Right. So how did things progress over time, especially with your knowledge about his interest in you?

Fatima: Around August, my birthday was coming up. I was planning a potluck at my place with friends and some people I’d gotten close to. I invited Toba. I wasn’t sure if he’d come, but I extended the invitation anyway. He showed up with so many gifts. Like, an excessive amount of gifts. It was really cute and thoughtful, and some of my friends noticed. I remember one of them pressing me about who he was, and I just waved her aside.

Toba: I wanted to make a good impression. I wanted her to know I was serious about getting to know her better, even though I still hadn’t explicitly told her how I felt. I was still building up the courage. But that didn鈥檛 even last long because she legit hit me up to ask what the deal was.

Fatima: I really wanted to know his plan. I鈥檓 not a fan of stringing each other along. I like it when intentions are clear from the very beginning. Plus, I was already tired of the subtle hints and the whole dance. 

After I confronted him, he confessed his feelings. He told me he liked me and wanted us to be in a relationship.

Did he get a yes? 

Fatima: Not immediately. If I’m being completely transparent, by looks alone, Toba didn’t fit my spec. He looked nothing like my ex. I’ve always been very drawn to physical appearance and aesthetics in the men I date. My exes were all conventionally attractive, the kind of guys people would literally stop and stare at when they walked into a room. But every single one of those relationships came with serious, recurring problems. 

It was either that they cheated on me with multiple women or I was constantly insecure when I saw other women around them.听 I didn鈥檛 like the version of myself in those relationships. So after my last relationship, I made a mental note that whoever I dated next wouldn鈥檛 be conventionally attractive. Good looking, but not someone who鈥檒l draw too much attention to himself. Toba wasn’t ugly by any stretch of the imagination, but he wasn’t what I’d call too good-looking or conventionally gorgeous either. He also wasn’t particularly muscular or built like the gym bros I used to date.

Ouch. 

Toba: I actually brought this up myself once during one of our conversations. I told her I’d combed through her social media and seen the kind of guys she used to roll with. I knew I didn’t look like them. That was actually another reason I’d hesitated to pursue her. I made a joke about it, about how I knew I wasn’t her usual type physically.

Fatima: I found it really cute that he could joke about himself like that. He had self-awareness and confidence despite knowing he didn’t fit my usual spec. That actually made him more attractive to me. It showed emotional maturity. By September, I gave him a yes. I could have said yes the same month he asked, but I just wanted him to do a little more chasing. 

Fair enough. What were the early days of the relationship like? 

Fatima: We鈥檙e not up to a year yet, so I think it鈥檚 safe to say we鈥檙e still in the early days. The relationship has been good overall. I genuinely think I made the right decision. I trust him in a way I couldn’t trust my previous partners. I’m not constantly stressed about his whereabouts or who he’s talking to.  He鈥檚 kind, loving and intentional. 

Toba: Everything she said. And I think something she forgot to mention is her relationship with my family. I don鈥檛 think I鈥檝e dated anyone who they鈥檝e received so openly. It鈥檚 either there鈥檚 one complaint or the other. But everyone seems to love Fatima. We’ve had our moments, though. We had a significant fight once over a situation with one of Fatima’s friends.

Oh. Tell me about that.

Fatima: I’d confided in Toba about something that one of my close friends had said to me. This friend, someone I’d known for years, had made some comments about how Toba wasn’t fine or attractive enough for me. Honestly, she didn鈥檛 mean it that way. It was something I could have said as well. It was just normal girl-to-girl banter. We have a way of ranking guys based on their looks and style. I casually mentioned it to Toba because I didn鈥檛 think he’d get upset about it. But he did. 

Toba: It was a mix of different reasons. I鈥檇 been super nice to the babe, and she鈥檇 always shine her teeth whenever I came around. It was weird to think she鈥檇 say something like that about me, and even suggest that Fatima shouldn鈥檛 have agreed to date me. I would have let it slide, but she鈥檚 a constant in Fatima鈥檚 life, and I wouldn鈥檛 be able to carry on with the pretence if I didn鈥檛 say how I felt. I reached out to her privately and gave her a piece of my mind. But Fatima didn鈥檛 like that.

Fatima: I was disappointed. I felt like he’d crossed a boundary. I’d shared that information with him in confidence as my partner, not as an invitation for him to go and confront my friend. It led to a whole lot of back-and-forth between us. We argued about boundaries, about how to handle situations like that, about what’s appropriate and what’s not. I think it also made me realise that he could take a lot of jokes about his looks from me, but not from other people.

Toba: We resolved it after a lot of communication. But I don’t speak to that friend anymore. 

Curious, Toba. Was it really about her comment or the fact that she tried to sabotage your relationship?

Toba: The latter. I  don’t let comments or criticisms about my looks get to me anymore. Not even a little bit. I was bullied extensively in secondary school and throughout university because of my physical appearance. But I’ve developed extremely thick skin over all those years of dealing with it. Funny thing is, I鈥檝e consistently dated women who are significantly prettier and more attractive than people who troll me. So people鈥檚 opinions and judgments don’t hold any real weight.

Fatima: That confidence is part of what attracted me to him. He knows who he is. He’s not trying to prove anything to anyone.

Sweet. What’s the best thing about being with each other?

Toba: Fatima is beautiful, intelligent, and she chose me despite what everyone else thought. She looked past the surface and saw my value. That means everything to me. I wake up every day wanting to prove that she made the right choice.

Fatima: I have genuine peace in this relationship that I never had before. I’m not constantly anxious or insecure. I’m not worried about him cheating or leaving me for someone else. I can just exist and be happy. 

On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your love life?

Fatima: I’d give it an 8. We’re still relatively new, but it’s been really good so far. 

Toba: I’d say 8 as well. We have a strong foundation, we communicate well, and we鈥檙e building something solid. I’m excited about where we’re headed.

 *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this听.

Henrietta and Ayo, navigate stigma, shame, and a world that would rather they stayed quiet. But silence has its limits. Watch .

Table of contents

There鈥檚 something almost magical about sending a deep love message for him that lands exactly right. The 10 second text that will make him smile for hours usually isn鈥檛 the one you spent ages perfecting, but the one that feels natural, warm, and true to you.

That鈥檚 really the secret behind the 10 second text that will make him smile for hours: it feels effortless, personal, and genuine. To make that easier, we鈥檝e put together over 200 short texts designed to keeps your man smiling all day.

Short & Sweet Texts That Will Make Him Smile for Hours

Sometimes the best texts are the short ones. Not because you don’t have a lot to say, but because a few honest words can hit harder than a whole paragraph. These short and sweet texts are the kind that take 10 seconds to send but will make him smile for hours.

•  Just wanted to say I love you. That’s it. 

• You’re my favourite person and I hope you know that.

• Thinking about you right now. Hope your day is going well.

•  I’m really glad you’re mine.

• You make everything better just by existing. Thank you for that.

• Missing you a little extra today.

• Hey love. I hope something good happens to you today. You deserve it.

• You’re the best part of my day, every day.

• I was just thinking about that thing you said yesterday and it made me smile.

• I love the way you make me feel. Just wanted you to know.

• You’re on my mind. Always.

• I’m so lucky to have you in my life.

• You make me really happy. That’s all.

• Just checking in to say you’re wonderful.

• I can’t wait to see you later.

• You’re doing great. I’m proud of you.

• I appreciate you more than I say out loud.

• You’re my favourite thing to think about.

• I’m smiling right now because of you.

• You matter to me. A lot.

• I hope you’re having a good day. You make mine better.

• Just a reminder that I think you’re amazing.

• I love us. That’s the text.

• You’re exactly who I want.

• Thanks for being you. I wouldn’t change a thing.

• I’m grateful for you every single day.

• You’re the reason I believe in good things.

• I’m thinking about you and it’s making my whole day better.

• You’re special to me in ways I don’t even know how to explain.

• I just wanted to tell you I love you. So. I love you.

• You’re the reason my day feels lighter.

• I’m really proud of you. Just wanted you to hear that.

• You crossed my mind and I had to tell you.

• I hope you feel as special as you actually are.

• You’re my safe place. Always.

 ALSO READ: 250+ Deep, Romantic Love Messages That Will Melt Her Heart

Cute Texts That Will Make Him Smile for Hours

Cute texts have a way of making someone feel warm and loved without being too serious. They’re the kind of love messages that make him smile at his phone and maybe blush a little. On this list, you鈥檒l find the 10-second text that will make him smile for hours because it鈥檚 light, affectionate, and just the right amount of sweet. 

• You’re cute. Just thought you should know.

• I like your face. And your personality. But also your face.

• You make me do that thing where I smile at my phone like an idiot.

• I was going to play it cool today but then I thought about you and now I’m texting you. So. Hi.

• You’re my favourite distraction.

• I just wanted to interrupt your day to tell you that you’re adorable.

• You have no idea how much I think about you. It’s honestly a little embarrassing.

• I hope you know you make my heart do weird happy things.

• I’m convinced you’re the cutest person alive and I will not be taking questions at this time.

• You looked really good today. Like, distractingly good.

• I just laughed thinking about something you said yesterday. You’re funny and I like you.

• You’re the kind of person I want to tell everything to.

• I like how you make even boring things feel fun.

• You’re my favourite human and it’s not even close.

• I miss your face. And your laugh. And you in general.

• You’re doing that thing again where you’re perfect and I’m obsessed.

• I can’t stop smiling when I’m around you and it’s your fault.

• You’re genuinely one of the best things that’s happened to me.

• I like you so much it’s actually ridiculous.

• You make my whole day better just by being in it.

• I hope you’re having a good day because you deserve one.

• I’m trying to focus on work but I keep thinking about you instead. This is your fault.

• You’re cute when you’re concentrating on something. Just so you know.

• I like the way you look at me. It makes me feel like I’m someone worth looking at.

• You’re the reason I’m in a good mood today.

• I think about you more than I probably should and I’m okay with that.

• You’re my favourite person to waste time with.

• I just wanted to remind you that you’re really, really great.

• You make me laugh in a way that no one else does.

• I’m so glad you exist.

• You’re my comfort person and I don’t say that enough.

• I like everything about you. Even the weird stuff. Especially the weird stuff.

• You’re the person I want to share everything with.

• I’m smiling because of you and I thought you should know.

ALSO READ: 200+ Heartwarming Love and Trust Messages for Her

Flirty Texts That Will Make Him Smile for Hours

So you want to tease him a little and make him burn for your touch? Flirty texts are just right for the job. These flirty 10-second texts will make him smile for hours because they remind him just how into him you really are.

• I can’t stop thinking about you and honestly I’m not even trying to stop.

• You looked really good today. Like, I’m still thinking about it.

• I have a confession: I’m a little bit obsessed with you.

• You’re extremely attractive and I think you should know that.

• I just wanted to let you know that I’m very into you. In case that wasn’t obvious.

• You’re the reason I keep checking my phone every five minutes.

• I miss you. And by miss you, I mean I really, really miss you.

• You have this way of making me smile just by existing. It’s annoying. Keep doing it.

• I’m trying to be normal about how attractive you are but it’s not working.

• You’re on my mind in a way that’s honestly distracting.

• I can’t wait to see you. And by see you, I mean be near you in any capacity.

• You make me feel things I didn’t know I could feel. It’s unfair.

• I’m having very specific thoughts about you right now.

• You’re cute when you’re not trying to be, which is always.

• I like you in that specific way where I think about you constantly and it’s becoming a problem.

• You’re dangerously good-looking and I think someone should tell you.

• I hope you know I think about you more than is probably reasonable.

• You’re the best part of my day and also the reason I’m distracted all day.

• I was trying to focus but then I started thinking about you and now here we are.

• You have no idea what you do to me and honestly that makes it worse.

• I like the way you look at me. It makes me want to be around you all the time.

• You’re the only person I want to talk to right now. And most of the time, actually.

• I’m very attracted to you and I thought you should be aware of that information.

• You’re making it very hard to concentrate on anything that isn’t you.

• I miss your face. And your hands. And everything else about you.

• You’re unfairly attractive and I’m trying to be normal about it.

• I can’t stop thinking about the last time I saw you.

• You make me want to be the kind of person who sends cute texts. Clearly it’s working.

• I like you a concerning amount. Just thought you should know.

• You’re the reason I smile at my phone like an idiot in public.

• I like you in ways that are probably obvious but I’m telling you anyway.

• You’re perfect. Like, genuinely. And I’m not just saying that.

•  I think about you way more than what’s probably considered normal.

• You do things to me that I don’t know how to explain in a text.

 ALSO READ: 250+ Romantic Texts That Will Melt Her Heart (and Make Her Want You)

Good Morning Romantic Texts That Will Make Him Smile for Hours

A good morning message sets the tone for someone’s entire day. On this list, you鈥檒l find the 10-second text that will make him smile for hours after rolling out of bed because they are warm, romantic, and genuine.

• Good morning love! I hope today is kind to you.

• Woke up thinking about you. Hope you slept well.

• Good morning to my favourite person. Have a great day.

• Morning sweety! Just wanted to remind you that I love you before your day gets busy.

• Good morning, handsome. I hope something really good happens to you today.

• Waking up knowing you’re mine makes every morning better. Good morning!

• Good morning, darling! I can’t wait to see you later.

• Morning! I hope your day is as good as you make mine every single day.

• Good morning, love. You’re the first thing I thought about when I woke up.

• Just wanted to say good morning and that I’m thinking about you.

• Good morning, my king! I hope today brings you something that makes you smile.

• Morning babe! You make my mornings better just by existing.

• Good morning to the person I’d rather wake up next to every single day.

• Hope you have a great day today. You deserve it. Good morning!

• Good morning! I’m already looking forward to hearing about your day later.

• Morning, love. I hope today is easier than yesterday and better than you expect.

• Good morning, hun! Just a reminder that you’re amazing and I’m lucky to have you.

• Woke up grateful for you. Good morning!

• Good morning! I hope you know how much you mean to me.

• Morning, my treasure! I’m sending you good energy for whatever today throws at you.

• Good morning to the person who makes every day feel worth waking up for.

• Just wanted to say good morning before your day gets started. I love you.

• Good morning, ife mi! I hope today goes exactly the way you want it to.

• Morning dear! You’re the reason I wake up in a good mood.

• Good morning, babe. I hope you feel as loved today as you actually are.

• Morning! Just wanted to remind you that I’m proud of you and I’m rooting for you today.

• Good morning to my person. Have the best day.

• Morning lover! I miss you already and you just woke up.

• Good morning! I hope today surprises you with something wonderful.

• Woke up and you were the first thing on my mind. Good morning, love.

• Good morning! I hope you wake up feeling as loved as you are.

• Morning! Just wanted to start your day by reminding you how much you matter to me.

• Good morning, sugar! You’re my favourite part of every day.

 ALSO READ: 150+ Heartfelt Prayers for Your Boyfriend

Good Night Romantic Texts That Will Make Him Smile for Hours

A good night message is the last thing he sees before he goes to sleep, and if you send the right one, it’s the kind of text that will make him smile for hours, even into the next morning.

• Good night, darling. I hope you sleep well and wake up feeling rested.

• Sweet dreams. I’ll be thinking about you.

• Good night, love. Thank you for making today better just by being in it.

• Sleep well, my love. I can’t wait to talk to you tomorrow.

• Good night! You’re the last thing I’m thinking about before I fall asleep.

• Sweet dreams to my favourite person. I hope tomorrow is good to you.

• Good night, babe. I hope you know how much I love you.

• Sleep tight. I’m so glad you’re mine.

• Good night, love. I hope you have the kind of sleep where you wake up actually feeling good.

• Sweet dreams, love. I miss you already.

• Good night, my love. Thank you for being exactly who you are.

• Sleep well, darling. I’m grateful for you every single day.

• Good night! I hope you dream about something that makes you happy.

• Sweet dreams, my love. You made my day better just by existing in it.

• Good night, love. I’ll see you tomorrow and I’m already excited about it.

• Sleep tight. You’re my favourite person and I hope you know that.

• Good night! I love you more than I say out loud.

• Sweet dreams to the person who makes everything feel lighter.

• Good night, babe. I hope tomorrow is as good to you as you are to me.

• Sleep well, love. You’re the best part of my day.

• Good night, dear. I hope you sleep peacefully and wake up ready for a good day.

• Sweet dreams. I’m so lucky to have you.

• Good night, Ife mi. I can’t wait to see you again soon.

• Sleep tight. You’re loved more than you probably realise.

• Good night, love. Thank you for making me feel like the luckiest person alive.

• Sweet dreams. I hope you know how much you mean to me.

• Good night, baby boy. I’m thinking about you and I hope you feel it.

• Sleep well, babe. You’re my safe place.

• Good night! I hope you have dreams as wonderful as you are.

• Sweet dreams, love. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I love you.

 ALSO READ: 150+ Romantic Good Night Messages For The One You Love

Long-Distance Romantic Texts That Will Make Him Smile for Hours

Long-distance relationships run on texts and calls. When you can’t be in the same room, the right message becomes everything. On this list, you鈥檒l find the 10-second text that will make him smile for hours because they close the gap, even when the miles are still there. 

• I miss you. Like, a lot. More than I probably should admit.

• Thinking about you from wherever I am. I wish I was there with you.

• The distance is hard, but you’re worth every mile of it.

• I can’t wait until we’re in the same place again. I miss you so much.

• I wish I could just show up at your door right now.

• Missing you extra today. I hope you feel it from there.

• The hardest part of my day is knowing I can’t just see you whenever I want.

• I’m counting down until I get to be near you again.

• Distance doesn’t change how I feel about you. Not even a little.

• I miss your face. And your laugh. And everything about being around you.

• I hate the miles between us but I love you more than the distance is hard.

• I wish I could hug you right now. Sending you one mentally.

• You’re so far away and I feel it every single day. But I’d do this distance a hundred times over for you.

• I miss the way it feels to be in the same room as you.

• Every day without you feels longer than it should. I can’t wait to see you.

• Thinking about the next time I get to see you is the only thing getting me through this distance.

• I wish I could just reach through the phone and hold your hand.

• I miss you in a way that makes everything else feel less important.

• The time difference is annoying but it doesn’t change how much I think about you.

• I hate that I can’t just drive over and see you whenever I want.

• Distance is temporary. You and me? That’s permanent.

• I miss falling asleep next to you. I miss waking up and you being there. I miss all of it.

• I hope you know that even from here, you’re the most important person in my life.

• I wish the distance wasn’t there, but I’m grateful you are.

• I can’t wait for the day when we don’t have to do long-distance anymore.

• Missing you is the hardest part of my day. Every day.

• I know the distance is hard for you too. I’m here. Always.

• I miss you more than I know how to put into words.

• I wish I could teleport to wherever you are right now.

• The distance doesn’t make me love you less. If anything, it makes me love you more.

• I miss the little things. Your voice. Your laugh. The way you look at me.

• One day we won’t have to do this anymore and I think about that all the time.

• The distance is hard but you make it worth it. Every single day.

• I wish I could fast-forward to the next time I get to hold you.

ALSO READ: 150+ Love and Trust Messages for the One You Love

How To Craft The 10-Second Text That Will Make Him Smile for Hours

Knowing what to text is one thing. Knowing how to make it land is another. This guide will show you exactly how to craft the 10-second text that will make him smile for hours. These aren’t complicated strategies or tricks. They’re just practical, honest techniques that work because they make your texts feel real, thoughtful, and unmistakably like you.

Step 1: Make It Specific, Not Generic

The difference between a forgettable text and one that makes him smile for hours is specificity. Generic texts like ‘thinking of you’ or ‘miss you’ are nice, but they’re easy to scroll past. What sticks is when you reference something real. A moment you shared. A thing he said that made you laugh. A detail about him that no one else would notice. Specificity proves you’re paying attention, and that’s what makes him feel seen.

Instead of: 鈥淚 miss you,鈥� 

Consider: 鈥淚 keep thinking about that joke from yesterday. I’m laughing about it again right now. I miss you.鈥� 

See the difference? The first one could be sent to anyone. The second one could only be sent to him. It’s specific, it references a real moment, and it shows that you were actually listening. That’s the kind of text he rereads three times and smiles about all afternoon.

Step 2: Text Him When He’s Not Expecting It

Timing is everything with texts. If you only text him good morning or good night, those messages start to feel like routine. But if you text him at 2 p.m. on a Tuesday just to say you were thinking about him, that catches him off guard in the best way. The element of surprise makes a simple text feel like a gesture. It shows that you thought of him in the middle of your own busy day, and that matters.

Let’s say it’s Wednesday afternoon and you’re at work. He’s probably at work too, dealing with emails or sitting in a meeting. 

Consider this: 鈥淚 know you’re probably busy, but I just wanted to say I’m proud of you. You’ve been working really hard lately and I see it.鈥�

He wasn’t expecting that. He was just going through his day, and suddenly there’s this message reminding him that someone is paying attention and rooting for him. That text stays with him for hours because it came out of nowhere and felt completely genuine.

Step 3: Keep It Short and Easy to Read

The best texts that make him smile for hours are short. Not because you don’t have more to say, but because brevity makes the message hit harder. When you keep it to one or two sentences, every word counts. Long texts have their place, but when you want something to stick, keep it tight. 

Instead of: 鈥淎de mi, I鈥檝e loved you through good days and bad ones, through soft kisses and silent fights. And even when we鈥檙e not perfect, I still want to choose you, over and over again. Never doubt my feelings for one second because they鈥檙e genuine.鈥�

Consider: 鈥�You’re my favourite person of all time. Love you.鈥� 

It takes five seconds to read. But he’ll think about it for hours because it’s direct, honest, and doesn’t try to be more than it needs to be. Compare that to a paragraph explaining why he’s your favourite person. The long version might be sweet, but the short version is the one he remembers and rereads later when he needs a reminder that he’s loved.

ALSO READ: 250+ Thoughtful Appreciation Messages for Birthday Wishes

Step 4: Make It About Him, Not Just Your Feelings

Many texts focus on how you feel. 鈥淚 miss you.鈥� 鈥淚 love you.鈥� 鈥淐an’t stop thinking about you.鈥� Those are all lovely, but they centre the message on you. If you want a text that reads like an appreciation message and really makes him smile for hours, flip it. Make it about him. When a text makes him feel seen and appreciated for who he is, not just loved because of how you feel, that’s when it sticks.

Instead of: 鈥淚 love you so much,鈥�

Consider: 鈥淵ou have this way of making people feel comfortable and heard. I don’t think you realise how rare that is. I see it every time you talk to someone, and it’s one of my favourite things about you.鈥� 

That text isn’t about your feelings; it’s about him. It tells him something specific about his character that you’ve noticed, and it makes him feel genuinely appreciated. 

Step 5: End With Something That Makes Him Want to Respond

If you end your text with something open-ended, something that invites him into the conversation, it turns a one-way message into a moment of connection. It doesn’t have to be a question. It can be a thought, a tease, or something that makes him curious. When he responds, the text turns into a conversation, and that’s how a 10-second message stretches into hours of him thinking about you.

Consider: 鈥淚 just realised you’ve never told me your most embarrassing childhood story. I need to know immediately.鈥�

That text does two things. First, it’s playful and makes him smile. Second, it makes him want to respond because now he’s thinking about which story to tell. Maybe he texts you back right away with the story. Maybe he saves it for later and you end up talking about it for an hour that night. Either way, that one text opened the door to a whole conversation, and that’s what keeps you on his mind all day.

ALSO READ: 250+ Deep Love Messages for Him That鈥檒l Melt His Heart

This is a look into his marriage diary.

Got a marriage story to share? Please听听and we鈥檒l reach out.

I didn鈥檛 see marriage as something I wanted for myself

I never really thought about getting married. Whenever marriage came up, I always knew it wasn鈥檛 something I particularly wanted. And it wasn鈥檛 because I had a bad example in front of me. My parents had a good marriage. My uncles and aunties, too. There was love, stability and all the things people usually point to when they talk about why marriage is a good thing. But for me, it just didn鈥檛 connect.

Even when I started working, and people around me were getting into serious relationships or preparing for marriage, I didn鈥檛 feel like I was missing anything. I was comfortable with how my life was. I had relationships here and there, but nothing that made me think, 鈥淵es, this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.鈥�

My mum, on the other hand, was starting to get concerned. She would ask questions in that subtle way parents do, like she wasn鈥檛 really asking. At some point, she even called one of my close friends to ask about my love life. It was both funny and embarrassing when I found out.

The truth is, I wasn鈥檛 clueless about women. I was seeing people, but nothing serious enough to take home. I didn鈥檛 feel the need to formalise anything.

If I鈥檓 being completely honest, if there were no family or societal expectations, I could have stayed unmarried. Maybe have a child or two just to continue my lineage, or maybe not even that. I was fine with my life the way it was. But I also knew that at some point, marriage would come. It felt like one of those things you eventually do as you get older, whether you鈥檙e fully convinced or not.

My wife brought out a version of me I didn鈥檛 know existed

The biggest surprise for me is how much I鈥檝e changed.

If you ask anyone who knew me when I was younger, they will tell you I was not a romantic person. I didn鈥檛 care for all those things. I wasn鈥檛 the type to remember dates, plan surprises, or say sweet things.

But my wife is the complete opposite. She鈥檚 very expressive and very particular about how she wants to be loved. And she didn鈥檛 just expect me to magically become that person. She actually taught me.

I remember the first birthday we spent together while we were dating. I didn鈥檛 do anything special. To me, it was just another day. She didn鈥檛 make a big issue out of it at the time, but I could tell she noticed.

By the second year, things changed. She started telling me clearly what she expected. How she wanted to be woken up with a kiss, how she wanted handwritten notes, the kind of cake she liked and even the exact words that should be written on it.

At first, it felt like a lot. It almost felt like I was being coached through something that should come naturally. But over time, I realised that she was just showing me how to love her in a way that meant something to her.

And slowly, it became part of me. Now I find myself doing things I never thought I would do. Planning birthdays, organising date nights, writing messages that the younger version of me would never have imagined.

It still surprises me sometimes, but I won鈥檛 lie, it鈥檚 a good feeling. There鈥檚 a softness that comes with it. It doesn鈥檛 just affect my marriage; it affects how I relate with people generally.

A car accident tested me in ways I wasn鈥檛 prepared for

If there was any moment that made me question myself in marriage, it would be the accident. We were on our way back from a wedding in Ibadan when it happened. The car had a brake failure. It was one of those moments where everything happens so fast, and before you fully understand what鈥檚 going on, it鈥檚 already too late.

We both got injured, but hers was much worse. Her right leg was badly damaged, and despite all the efforts to save it, the doctors eventually had to amputate.

That period was one of the hardest times of my life. Not just as a husband, but as a person. I had to be strong for both of us. There was no option. But that doesn鈥檛 mean I didn鈥檛 have moments where I doubted myself. There were times I felt overwhelmed, and times I questioned if I had the emotional strength to carry both of us through that situation.

But every time I looked at her, I didn鈥檛 see someone who had given up. She was still trying to be cheerful and trying to live. And that alone kept me going.

I realised that I couldn鈥檛 afford to break down when she was still fighting. So I had to step up in ways I never had to before. I had to reassure her constantly that nothing had changed for me. That I still saw her the same way, and I wasn鈥檛 going anywhere. It wasn鈥檛 easy, and it鈥檚 still a journey, but that experience really showed me what commitment looks like beyond words.

Marriage will bring things nobody can warn you about

One thing I鈥檝e learnt is that people can tell you marriage is not easy, but they can鈥檛 really explain what that means.

Everyone says challenges will come, but until you鈥檙e the one going through it, you don鈥檛 fully understand the weight of those words. In my case, who would have thought that something like that accident would become part of our story? It鈥檚 not the kind of thing you sit down and plan for or even imagine. And that鈥檚 just one example.

There are so many things that happen in marriage that nobody prepares you for. Situations that don鈥檛 come with a manual. Moments where you and your partner have to figure things out on your own. That鈥檚 why I believe that in marriage, you鈥檙e the one writing your own script. You can listen to advice, but at the end of the day, your reality will be different.

For me, I don鈥檛 like involving third parties in my marriage. I believe whatever issue we鈥檙e facing is something we should sit down and resolve ourselves. It forces you to communicate better and understand each other more. It鈥檚 not always easy, but it has helped us grow.

I had to learn patience and restraint on a completely different level

The way I handle conflict now is very different from how I handled it before.

Before the accident, I would get upset over things like her mood swings or how she talks to me sometimes. Even small things could turn into arguments. But after everything we鈥檝e been through, my perspective changed.

Now, I see those things as minor. Not worth the energy or the tension it brings. My wife is in a sensitive place, and the last thing I want is to add to that. So I鈥檝e had to develop a lot of patience. A lot of restraint. I think of it as being patient times ten, understanding times ten.

It鈥檚 not like I don鈥檛 notice things anymore. I do. But I鈥檓 more intentional about how I respond. And the good thing is, she also notices the effort. When she realises she鈥檚 wrong, she apologises quickly. There鈥檚 a level of awareness on both sides now that wasn鈥檛 there before. We鈥檙e both trying, and that makes a big difference.

Love alone is not enough to keep a marriage going

I don鈥檛 believe love is enough. Love is important, no doubt. But it鈥檚 not enough to sustain a marriage on its own. There will be times when the feeling is not as strong as it used to be. Times when you鈥檙e frustrated or tired or dealing with something heavy.

In those moments, you need other things to fall back on. You need patience. You need kindness. You need commitment. You need to be willing to stay and work through things even when it鈥檚 not convenient.

Even the fact that you鈥檝e built a life together matters. The family you鈥檝e created becomes part of the reason you keep going. Love plays a role, but it鈥檚 not the only thing holding everything together. If that鈥檚 all you have, it won鈥檛 be enough when real life starts happening.

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.

Got a marriage story to share? Please  and we鈥檒l reach out.

Deborah* (30) and Oba* (33) met and struck up a friendship at work in  2021. 

On this week’s Love Life, they talk about him being everyone’s favourite coworker, the night in Ibadan that changed their friendship, and getting engaged despite her family’s concerns about his decision to leave banking to become a full-time pastor.

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this听.

What’s your earliest memory of each other?

Deborah: Oba and I met in 2021 after I was transferred to the bank branch where he worked. Oba was my first point of contact when I arrived. He seemed genuinely nice from that first interaction: he helped me settle in, showed me around, introduced me to people, and explained how things worked in the branch. But it didn’t take long for me to realise that Oba wasn’t just nice to me. He was everyone’s favourite coworker, just generally being kind and approachable. Everybody liked him and wanted to be around him.

Oba: I didn’t have it easy when I  joined the banking industry. The system can be harsh, and people can be unkind. But I made a conscious decision not to let the system change who I was. I was intentional about being nice, being helpful, and maintaining my values even in a difficult work environment. 

That鈥檚 why I help everyone settle in. That鈥檚 also how I met Deborah, and we naturally struck a cordial bond.

Right. Let鈥檚 talk about the first few months working together.

Deborah: We started off as cordial coworkers and had nothing beyond work conversations. But I found myself wanting his friendship. He seemed like someone I’d genuinely get along with outside of work. The problem was that being friends with everyone’s favourite coworker wasn’t easy. Some colleagues were already starting to get jealous of the attention he gave me when I first arrived. I didn’t want to create unnecessary drama or make enemies in a new workplace. So I stepped back.

Oba: I actually liked Debby from early on. I enjoyed talking to her. I looked forward to seeing her at work. I’d come around her desk often to find excuses to chat. Then I noticed she started withdrawing from me. She became more distant and less warm. I didn’t understand why, but I respected it and pulled back. I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable or seem like I was forcing a friendship she didn’t want.

Deborah: Later in the year, several people from the branch, including Oba and me, attended a colleague’s wedding in Ibadan. I’d planned to return to Lagos after the reception. But it got really late, and travelling back that night would have been risky. Oba suggested I could sleep at his family’s house. His parents lived there.

I was hesitant at first. Going to a colleague’s family home felt like crossing a professional boundary. But it was safer than travelling back to Lagos at night on those roads. So I agreed. 

His family was lovely when we arrived, very welcoming and warm. They didn’t ask awkward or uncomfortable questions. They gave me a room, made sure I was comfortable, and offered me food and refreshments. That night, after settling in, Oba and I talked for hours in the living room. We gisted about everything you can imagine: work stories, life experiences, our families, our different experiences navigating the banking industry, our frustrations and joys. It felt like we’d known each other for years.

Oba: The conversation flowed naturally. We just clicked in a way I hadn’t experienced with many people. There was no awkwardness or uncomfortable silences. We talked, laughed, and shared stories until it was well past midnight. I remember thinking that this was special, that Deborah was someone I could really connect with on a deeper level.

Hmmm.

Deborah: I told Oba why I’d withdrawn earlier in the year. I explained the jealousy I’d sensed from other colleagues and how I’d created distance to keep the peace.  It wasn鈥檛 because I didn’t want to be friends with him.

Oba: I wished she’d mentioned it earlier. I understood office politics, and I’d dealt with jealousy before. But I also didn’t think we should let other people’s pettiness dictate our friendship. Still, I understood why she’d made that choice. And now that we’d cleared the air, we could move forward.

Sweet. So what happened next? 

Deborah: After we returned to Lagos, we became even closer. The conversation we’d had that night opened something up between us. 

Oba: I stopped caring about what people at work said. If they wanted to gossip, that was their problem. I was around Debby constantly. We’d have lunch together, take breaks together, and chat throughout the day. During this time, I started realising that what I felt for her went beyond friendship. I was developing romantic feelings.

Did you sense this shift, Deborah?

Deborah: I could tell something was different. The way he looked at me, the attention he gave me. It was different from before. But I didn鈥檛 make any assumptions. As long as it wasn鈥檛 spoken out loud, I chalked it all up to friendship.

Oba: I eventually shot my shot after some time. I told her I liked her and wanted us to explore something beyond friendship. But I didn鈥檛 get a yes.

Oh.

Deborah: I didn’t agree for two main reasons. First, I was in a relationship. Second, even if I were single, I had a rule about not dating coworkers. The banking industry is small, and I’d seen too many workplace relationships go badly.

Oba: I respected that she was with someone. But I didn’t care about the coworker part. People dated in the banking industry all the time and got married successfully. I’d seen it happen. So that reason didn’t hold much weight for me. But I understood her position, and I backed off. We maintained our friendship.

I see. And how did the relationship progress over time?

Deborah: We were still cordial. By early 2023, I’d ended my relationship. It had run its course. I took several months to heal properly and get myself to a good place emotionally. Once I felt ready to date again, I mentioned it to Oba casually during one of our conversations.

Oba: I’d been there throughout her breakup and healing process. I looked out for her as a friend, checked on her, and supported her however I could. But I never pushed anything romantic. I gave her space. Still, my feelings for her never went away. I’d always kept my eyes on her, hoping that maybe one day the timing would work out.

And coincidentally, around that same time, I was leaving the bank. I’d decided to answer a pastoral calling. I was transitioning out of banking to become a full-time pastor. So things were aligning in our favour.

Curious, Deborah. How did you feel when you learned he was becoming a pastor?

Deborah: I had serious reservations when I learned he was transitioning to full-time pastoral work. I knew Oba was religious. But I didn’t know the extent or depth of his commitment to ministry. I didn’t know he was this deep into it, to the point where he’d leave a stable, well-paying banking career to pursue it full-time. Becoming a full-time pastor is a massive, life-altering decision. It comes with expectations, serious responsibilities, a certain lifestyle and conduct. That worried me significantly for a while. I had to really think deeply about whether I was ready for that kind of life, whether I could handle being a pastor’s wife, and whether that was the path I wanted for myself and my future family.

Oba: I completely understood her concerns and didn’t take them lightly. Pastoral life genuinely isn’t for everyone. There are demands on your time, expectations for how you conduct yourself publicly, and responsibilities to a congregation. I wanted her to be fully aware and informed of what she’d be signing up for if she chose to be with me. I didn’t want to surprise her later or have her feel trapped.

Deborah: But something in my spirit kept telling me that Oba was my husband. I’d felt it for a while, even before things got romantic. There was this knowing, this peace about him. So despite my initial reservations, I trusted that inner voice. We started courting toward the end of 2023.

Cute. And how has that been?

Oba: It’s been a beautiful relationship. We understand each other and share similar values. We built a strong foundation as friends first, so transitioning to romance felt natural. We’re engaged now, planning to marry.

Deborah: I don’t regret saying yes to this relationship. But there’s been one ongoing challenge that affects us both.

What鈥檚 that?

Deborah: My family still has strong reservations about Oba. Specifically, they’re deeply worried about him abandoning his stable banking career to become a full-time pastor. My parents especially keep bringing it up in conversations. They ask detailed questions about our financial stability and future plans, whether he’ll be able to adequately provide for a family, and whether we’ve thought through the long-term implications. They’re concerned that he’s made a reckless decision by leaving a secure, well-paying profession for something less financially secure.

Oba: I won’t lie, it’s disappointing. I wish they could see beyond the career change and trust that I know what I’m doing. But I’m handing it over to God. I can’t control how they feel or what they think. I get paid a regular salary as a pastor. It’s not like I’m doing volunteer work without any income or depending on offerings and goodwill. The church compensates me properly for my work and my time. I have a steady, predictable income stream every month. I manage my finances responsibly and carefully. 

I’m not struggling financially or living paycheck to paycheck. So honestly, I don’t fully understand what the deep worry is about. Yes, banking pays well, especially at senior levels. But pastoral work also pays a decent salary. Maybe not at exactly the same level as banking, but it’s sufficient for a good quality of life.

Deborah: I think my parents are comparing his current pastoral salary to what he used to make in banking. So in their minds, he’s taken a significant pay cut. 

Oba: I understand they’re coming from a place of care for their daughter. They want to make sure she’s taken care of. I respect that. But I also need them to trust that this is my calling, my path, and I’m walking it with full conviction. I didn’t make this decision lightly or impulsively.

Have you tried to make your family see things from his perspective, Deborah?

Deborah: It’s been genuinely challenging and emotionally draining. I love my family deeply, and I want their blessing and full support for this marriage. I’ve tried repeatedly to reassure my parents, patiently explaining that we’ll be fine and that Oba is a responsible and capable man who knows how to provide. But despite all my efforts, they’re still worried and anxious. It creates real tension sometimes between them and me, and it weighs on me emotionally. I’m caught between honouring my parents and moving forward with the man I love.

Oba: I know it’s incredibly hard for Deborah to be in this position. But I also can’t and won’t go back into banking just to appease them or ease their concerns. This pastoral calling isn’t a career experiment or a phase I’m going through. This is genuinely what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. 

Right.

Oba: As long as I have the love and support of my wife, I’m not worried about what anyone else thinks. Deborah is the one I’m building a life with. She’s the one who’ll be by my side through everything. If she believes and trusts me, then that’s what matters most. Her family’s concerns are valid, but they’re not the ones living this life; we are.

Deborah: I trust that we’ll be okay financially. I’ve made peace with this path we’re on together.

Let鈥檚 move on. What’s the best thing about being with each other?

Deborah: Oba is consistent and genuine. What you see is what you get. He’s the same person in public as he is in private. He’s kind, thoughtful, and supportive. He makes me feel loved and valued. Even with the family concerns, he’s patient and understanding.

Oba: Deborah is strong and loyal. She stands by me even when it’s difficult. She believes in me when others doubt. She’s smart, she’s beautiful, she challenges me to be better. I’m grateful to have her as my partner.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your love life?

Deborah: I’d give it a 9. We have a strong relationship built on friendship and genuine love. The only reason it’s not a 10 is because of the external pressure from my family. But that’s not a reflection of what Oba and I have together.

Oba: I’d also say 9. Deborah and I are solid. We’re building something beautiful together.

 *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this听.

Alex* (26) and Toyosi* (29) met at a vigil one night in 2024.

On this week’s Love Life, they talk about meeting while she was healing from a failed engagement, reconnecting months later after his mother’s death, and navigating a relationship where she wants to be married by 30 but he’s not financially ready to take that step yet.

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this听.

What’s your earliest memory of each other?

Alex: We met at a church vigil in July 2024. The vigil was happening on my street, and I’d helped the pastor secure the necessary permissions for the venue. Because of my involvement, I wasn’t following the program closely or participating in the prayers. I was mostly walking around, making sure everything was running smoothly. That’s when I saw Toyosi.听

She was in one corner of the venue, completely absorbed in prayer and crying intensely. I overheard some of her prayer requests, and she was asking God to break the spell of failed marriages in her family. She was pouring her heart out about her fears and her pain. It was a deeply personal, vulnerable moment, and I knew I was invading her privacy by standing there. But I couldn’t help it. I was genuinely intrigued. I wondered why someone who looked so put together, pretty, and articulate would have such heavy prayer requests.

Toyosi: I didn鈥檛 want to attend that particular vigil because I had another one the next day, but my mum encouraged me. She said, 鈥淲e don鈥檛 know where God will answer your prayers.鈥�

I was fresh out of a two-year engagement that had ended badly. It was my first real, serious relationship, and I invested so much time and emotion into it. When it fell apart, I was devastated, sad and depressed. I poured myself heavily into church activities to cope with the pain.听

This particular vigil was one of those nights where I desperately needed God to calm my mind and heal my heart. I was crying out to Him about my family’s history with broken relationships and my fears about repeating that pattern. I didn’t notice anyone watching me while I prayed. I was completely lost in my conversation with God.

Right. So, at what point did you guys interact?

Alex: I approached her the next morning, introduced myself and tried to make conversation. But I could tell she seemed uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure if it was me or if she just wanted to leave.

Toyosi:  I was worried about my morning breath. We’d been at an overnight vigil, and I hadn’t brushed my teeth yet. And his breath wasn’t exactly pleasant either. It was just an awkward moment all around. But he seemed nice and well-spoken, so I gave him my number.

Screaming. What happened after you exchanged numbers?

Alex: I didn’t reach out for months. Life got very serious very quickly. I lost my mum shortly after we met, and that took a heavy toll on me. I wasn’t in a space to think about anything else, let alone reaching out to someone I’d just met.

Toyosi: I expected him to reach out within the first week or so. When he didn’t, I mentally moved on. I’d told God after my engagement ended that I didn’t want another situation where I’d be the one chasing after a guy. So I left it alone.

Alex: Then, in December 2024, the church had its crossover service for New Year’s Eve at the same location where we first met. I ran into Toyosi again. Honestly, I was actually quite reluctant to say hi to her because I felt guilty. Months had passed, and I hadn’t reached out at all. I thought she might be upset with me or think I was just playing games. I didn’t want it to be awkward or uncomfortable. But she saw me first and greeted me very casually, like it was no big deal, like she wasn’t holding anything against me. I took the greeting as a positive sign and made sure not to sit too far from her during the service. I positioned myself where I could see her and where we could potentially talk afterwards.

Toyosi: At that point,  I’d already moved on from anything with him. So it was just a friendly greeting.

Alex: After the service, I had a moment with her and explained why I hadn’t reached out. I told her about losing my mum and everything that had happened. She was very sympathetic. Over the next few weeks, she started checking on me regularly, asking how I was doing and how I was coping.

Toyosi: Losing a parent is devastating. I could tell he was going through a lot, and I听 wanted to be there for him as a friend and make sure he was okay. I’d send messages, call sometimes to check in. We鈥檇 spend a lot of time on the phone talking about life and the people we鈥檇 lost. We also got into details about our personal and romantic lives.听

Was this when you started developing feelings for each other? 

Alex: In a way, yes. But I was hesitant about acting on those feelings. There were several major things holding me back and making me overthink the situation. First, she’d shared with me how she’d just come out of a two-year engagement. I didn’t want to seem like I was taking advantage of her emotional vulnerability during a healing period. I didn’t want her to think I was trying to be a rebound or a distraction from her pain. 

Second, I wasn’t personally ready to marry yet. I wanted a serious, committed relationship with clear intentions, but marriage itself felt far off for me. I needed more time. 

And third, she鈥檚 three years older than me. I wasn’t sure how she’d feel about dating someone younger.

Toyosi: I wouldn鈥檛 say I was exactly developing feelings. I was in a state where I wasn鈥檛 really sure of what I wanted, even though I was praying to God for true love. As we got closer, I knew Alex was interested. These things are obvious even when they aren鈥檛 stated. I was waiting for him to make his move, but I didn’t understand why he was taking so long. But I’d made a vow to God that I wouldn’t chase a man, so I kept quiet and waited.

Curious, when did you finally make your move, Alex?

Alex: I finally summoned the courage in February 2025. I took Toyosi out on Valentine’s Day. We had dinner at a nice restaurant,  and I laid everything out. I started with the age thing 鈥� told her the three-year gap didn’t bother me. Then I told her I wasn’t ready for marriage yet, but I wanted a serious relationship with her. I wanted us to be intentional about building something together.

Toyosi: It was a lot to process in one sitting. The age thing wasn’t an issue for me at all. Alex doesn’t look or act younger than me. He’s mature, and he carries himself well. But the marriage thing was worrisome. I’d just come out of a two-year engagement that went nowhere. I didn’t want to enter another long relationship that would lead to the same dead end. I was 29 years old. I’d always envisioned being married by 30 at the latest. So hearing him say he wasn’t ready for marriage made me pause.

I didn’t give him an answer that day. I needed to think about it.

Right.

Toyosi: I had to weigh everything carefully. On one hand, I genuinely liked Alex. He was kind, thoughtful, and intentional in his approach. He’d been there for me during what was actually a difficult transitional time in my life. On the other hand, I was genuinely scared of wasting more precious time 

I prayed intensely about the situation. I asked God for real clarity and direction. And I also tried to be very realistic and honest with myself about my timeline versus his, and whether those two could align.

Were you guys still spending time together during this period?

Alex: Yes. We kept spending time together and going on dates. I didn’t want to pressure her for an answer, but I also wanted her to see that I was serious, even if I wasn’t ready for marriage.

Toyosi: Those weeks helped me see more of who he was. How he treated me, how consistent he was, how he communicated. It gave me more information to work with.

In April, I said yes. It was kind of out of the blue. We were hanging out, and I just told him I’d thought about everything, and my answer was yes. I wanted to give us a chance.

Alex: I was surprised. I kept asking her why she said yes, what changed her mind, what made her decide. I needed to understand her reasoning.

Toyosi: I was just trusting my gut. I couldn’t explain it logically. I just felt this was the right decision, despite the uncertainty about the timing of marriage.

Sweet. You’ve been together for almost a year now. Tell me about the relationship.

Alex: It’s been good. We’ve had minor differences and arguments here and there, but nothing serious. We communicate well. We’re learning from each other. We’ll be celebrating our one-year anniversary this year.

Toyosi: I’m happy in the relationship. Alex is a good partner. But I do worry sometimes about the marriage timeline. I always envisioned being married by 30. I’ll be turning 30 this year, and we haven’t really broached the topic of marriage seriously since we started dating.

I don’t want to pressure him about marriage. I’m very aware that he told me upfront and very clearly that he wasn’t ready for marriage. And I made an informed decision. I accepted that reality when I said yes to the relationship. 

But now that we’re approaching a full year together and I’m also approaching my 30th birthday, a significant milestone for me, the worry is creeping back. I find myself wondering when exactly he’ll be ready. I wonder if we’re actually on the same page about timing or if we’re years apart in our expectations. I wonder if I’m going to end up in another painful situation where I invest multiple years of my life and emotional energy, and it doesn’t ultimately lead to the marriage I want. These thoughts keep me up at night sometimes.

Have you talked to Alex about this?

Toyosi: Not directly. I drop hints sometimes. But I haven’t sat him down and had a serious conversation about where we’re headed and when.

Alex, are you aware of her concerns?

Alex: I’m aware. I know she’s probably wondering when I’m going to be ready, and I’m getting there. I’m gradually approaching the point where I want to get married. I just need to be a little more financially settled before I can take that step.

Talk about what financial settlement means to you.

Alex: I want to be able to comfortably afford the wedding itself, which can be expensive. I want to handle the engagement process and all the traditional requirements that come with it. And I want to have some decent savings set aside before we start our life together. I don’t want to go into marriage completely broke or struggling financially month to month. I don’t want us to start our marriage stressed about money from day one. 

I’m actively working on building my income streams right now. I’m saving money deliberately. I’m trying to get to a more stable and secure financial place. Once I’m actually there, once I feel comfortable with my financial situation, I’ll be ready to have the marriage conversation seriously and move forward with those plans.

Toyosi: I understand where he’s coming from completely. I genuinely appreciate that he wants to be financially ready and responsible before taking the step into marriage. That shows maturity and planning. But I also really wish we could have more of this kind of detailed conversation together as a couple, instead of hearing about his timeline and thought process secondhand or having to guess what he’s thinking. We mostly scratch the surface, but I鈥檇 appreciate it if we could sit together and openly discuss his specific plan, his realistic timeline, and the financial milestones he’s working toward. That way, I can know what I’m working with. But I guess this is a starting point.

Fair enough. What’s the best thing about being with each other?

Alex: Toyosi is supportive, understanding, and patient. She was there for me during one of the darkest periods of my life. She’s kind, she’s smart, she challenges me to be better. I value her deeply.

Toyosi: Alex is intentional and consistent. He shows up. He communicates. He makes me feel valued and cared for. Even with the uncertainty around the marriage, I feel loved in this relationship.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your love life?

Alex: I’d give it an 8. We have a strong foundation, we care about each other, and we’re building something good. The only thing keeping it from being higher is the pressure I feel about the marriage timeline and knowing that Toyosi is worried about it.

Toyosi: I’d also say 8. I’m happy with Alex. I love what we have. I just need more clarity about where we’re headed and when.

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this听.

Cynthia* (27) and Maleek* (28) are exes who have agreed to remain friends. 

On this week’s Love Life, they talk about the cycle of violence and expensive apologies that marked their relationships, and the reckoning that inevitably followed.

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this听.

What’s your earliest memory of each other?

Cynthia: Maleek and I met in 2021 during our HND at a polytechnic in Ogun State. We’d seen each other around in our ND days, but we barely spoke. But that changed in 2021 after I attended a friend’s birthday party at Maleek’s apartment. That was the first time we actually interacted.

Maleek: The party was my earliest memory of Cynthia. I don鈥檛  remember seeing her on campus before that night 

I allowed my close friends to use my apartment for events like that. I had a big three-bedroom flat all to myself, so why not? I mostly kept to myself in school, but I was generous with the people in my cycle. That birthday party was when I first noticed Cynthia.

She wasn’t really playful. Everyone else was loud, dancing, drinking, and being over the top. But Cynthia was calm and reserved. That drew me to her. At the time, I had several girls I was talking to, but none of them was a serious girlfriend. They were all too extroverted for my liking, and obviously interested in my money and what I could do for them. Something about Cynthia’s calm demeanour made me feel like she was different. Like she could be the one I’d take seriously. I approached her, and we talked briefly. Before she left, I asked for her number. 

Cynthia: I didn’t really want to give him, to be honest. I wasn’t sure what I was getting into. But I didn’t want to seem rude, since I was in his house at a party he was gracious enough to host. So I gave him my number and figured I’d see where it went.

What happened next?

Maleek: We started talking on the phone regularly. I’m very direct, so I didn’t waste time. I told her I was interested in her and wanted us to date. I started throwing gifts at her, sending her money, taking care of things for her. That’s how I am. If I like someone, I show it through my actions and my resources.

Cynthia: I didn’t mind it, honestly. I’d been looking for a boyfriend like that, someone who had money and could take care of me. Things weren鈥檛 exactly rosy at home, and I couldn鈥檛 do some of the things my friends were doing for money. 

Maleek was very generous, and I appreciated it. We started dating in late 2021, and the first year was actually good. He was attentive, sweet, and took care of me financially, and we enjoyed each other’s company. 

Seems you both moved things around pretty fast. Curious, did you ask questions about his finances, Cynthia?

Cynthia: I didn鈥檛 need to. As we got closer, I realised that he came from money. He also wasn鈥檛 dependent on his parents鈥� wealth. Maleek was always doing multiple things, from trading forex to selling gadgets. His mum, who works with the government,  also had high-paying side gigs for him. It was easy to say yes once I realised he earned from legitimate sources. 

Maleek: I wasn鈥檛 bothered about the assumptions people made about my lifestyle. People will always talk, and I鈥檝e learned to be fine with that.

Right. So how did things progress over time?

Cynthia: In the second year of the relationship, I started spending more time at Maleek’s apartment. I was basically living there part-time. And that’s when I started noticing red flags that I’d missed. He was extremely jealous of everything. He had serious, deep-rooted trust issues. He always wanted to know who I was talking to, where I was going, who I was with, and what time I’d be back. He’d look through my phone without asking for permission, scrolling through my messages, checking my call logs, and looking at my social media interactions. He’d question me intensely about male classmates and friends. If I mentioned a guy’s name even in passing, he’d want to know who the person was, how I knew them, and why I was talking to them. It became suffocating. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like I was being monitored constantly.

Maleek: I had trust issues, yes. I still do, to some extent. But I’m working on them. I just felt like the girls in my school couldn’t be fully trusted. They have many options  鈥� too many guys trying to get their attention at every turn. On campus, in class, at parties, online. Everywhere you look, there’s someone trying to talk to and get close to them. I wanted to make sure Cynthia wasn’t playing me or entertaining other men behind my back. I didn’t want to be the fool who trusted completely and then got betrayed. So I watched her closely.

Hmmm.

Cynthia: It got so bad that Maleek hit me during some of those arguments. The first time it happened, I was completely shocked. I didn’t expect it from him at all. I couldn’t reconcile the sweet version of him with the person who was now hitting me. I threatened to leave immediately. I told him I wouldn’t tolerate it. And he came back crying and begging within hours. He apologised profusely,  swearing he didn’t know what came over him and promising it would never happen again. And then he spoiled me with gifts and money to make up for it. Expensive bags, shoes, money, whatever I wanted, and I forgave him. I convinced myself it was a one-time mistake.

Then it happened again. And again. It became a cycle. We’d argue, he’d hit me, I’d threaten to leave, he’d cry and beg and buy me expensive things, and I’d stay. By the time we got to our final year, I had emotionally checked out of the relationship. But I was still physically there. I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe it was the money, fear or a combination of both.

Maleek, had she given you any reason to suspect anything? 

Maleek: Honestly, she has always been faithful. I didn鈥檛 see it because I guess I also had the wrong set of friends. Cynthia is pretty and light-skinned. They鈥檒l always tell me it wasn鈥檛 possible that I was her only guy. Some of them would also randomly hit me up whenever they saw her hanging out with a male coursemate. It was crazy.

I was immature at the time. I didn’t know how to handle my emotions or my insecurities. I thought I could control the situation through jealousy and aggression, but all I did was push her away and hurt her. 

Cynthia, when did you finally leave?

Cynthia: I broke up with him after we graduated in early 2024. I had had enough of the emotional and physical abuse. I couldn’t do it anymore. I told him it was over, and I meant it this time. But he didn’t move on.

Maleek: I wanted another chance. I kept calling her, asking to see her, trying to convince her that I’d changed. And surprisingly, she entertained some of it. She’d pick up my calls and sometimes agree to hang out. I thought maybe there was still hope for us.

Why did you still entertain him, Cynthia?

Cynthia: I don’t know. Maybe I felt guilty, or maybe I still cared about him in some twisted way. But I was clear that we weren’t getting back together. I just wanted to maintain a friendship or cordial relationship. But after we both left school and returned to Lagos, we barely spoke. In a way, I thought that phase was finally over, and I could move on. But I was wrong.

Why? What happened?

Cynthia: Fast forward to NYSC in 2024. We ended up in the same state for NYSC. It was strange seeing him again in a new place, but since we ended on a fairly cordial note, it wasn鈥檛 entirely awkward.

Because Maleek had money, he was able to settle down quickly and comfortably. Within the first few weeks, he’d found a decent place to stay, furnished it properly, got everything sorted, and was living comfortably. I, on the other hand, was still trying to manage and figure things out. My accommodation wasn’t great at all. I was in a cramped space that I shared with another corps member. I was struggling financially because my allowance wasn’t enough to cover everything I needed. And I was still finding my footing in the new environment.

Because of that, I started visiting Maleek again. It was easier to go to his place, where things were comfortable, than to stay in my cramped space. We started hanging out more frequently.

Maleek: Seeing her again was probably the best thing that happened to me. I was actually supposed to serve in Lagos, but my plug messed up. He was going to work on my redeployment, but I halted the arrangement after I saw Cynthia. I never shared this with her. It was just a decision I made after I realised she had no plans to redeploy. In a way, I still felt responsible for her.

When she started visiting, I thought maybe this was our second chance. I’d try to initiate things and rekindle what we had, but she declined. She insisted we should just be friends. I tried to respect that, but it was hard because of my feelings for her.

Curious, Cynthia. Did you think it was safe to be around him, considering the past?

Cynthia: It wasn鈥檛, and I sometimes blame myself for getting carried away, because the same thing from our school days happened again.

One day, I went out with another male friend,  a corps member I’d met during orientation camp. We hung out to get food, talk about experiences so far, and have a good time. When he dropped me off later that evening, I asked him to drop me at Maleek’s place because I planned to spend time there and maybe stay the night, since my own place was uncomfortable. I didn’t think anything of it. But when the guy’s car pulled up outside Maleek’s building, and I got out, Maleek was outside. He was immediately furious.

Maleek: Seeing her laughing with another guy who felt comfortable enough to drop her off at my place triggered everything I’d been trying to suppress. I felt disrespected and betrayed, like she was throwing it in my face.

Cynthia: I tried to explain calmly that he was just a friend, but he wasn’t listening. He’d already decided what had happened. And then he hit me. We weren’t even dating anymore; we’d been broken up for over a year, and he hit me.

This time, I fought back. We got into a physical altercation so loud that neighbours came out and intervened. They separated us, and I left his place immediately. But I was so angry that I reported him to the police the next morning. I told them everything that happened, and then they went to arrest Maleek.

Maleek: I was briefly detained. They came to my place, brought me in, questioned me for hours about what happened, about my relationship with Cynthia, about the allegations she’d made. They warned me sternly about the consequences of domestic violence. They told me I needed to stay far away from Cynthia and stop harassing her. It was humiliating being there, and I couldn鈥檛 believe Cynthia would take it that far. They released me later that same day with a very stern warning to leave her alone completely, but I didn鈥檛. 

Why?

Maleek: The moment I was released, I went straight to look for Cynthia at her place. I know it sounds absolutely crazy, but I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was still in denial about the seriousness of the situation. I wanted to apologise face-to-face鈥擨 needed her to know I was genuinely sorry for my actions. I thought that if I could just talk to her and explain myself, she’d understand.

I see. 

Cynthia: When he showed up, my flatmates didn’t let him anywhere near me. They’d already heard what happened the night before. They were protective and concerned for my safety. They made sure he couldn’t get to my door or try to talk to me. Some of them even threatened to call the police again if he didn’t leave immediately. I appreciated that so much because I didn’t want to see him at all. I needed space from him. 

Thankfully, we barely saw each other for the rest of NYSC. We both finished our service year and returned to Lagos without crossing paths.

Fair enough. So when did you reconnect?

Cynthia: Late 2025. We ran into each other at a mutual friend’s wedding in Lagos. I saw him from across the reception hall, and he looked genuinely different from the last time I’d seen him. I watched him from a distance for a bit, and then, for some reason I can’t fully explain, I went over to say hi. I don’t know exactly why I did it. We did some small talk about how we’d been and what we’d been up to.

Maleek: I was surprised when she came to talk to me. I thought she’d avoid me forever after everything that happened. But she seemed open, so we exchanged numbers again and agreed to keep in touch.

What’s your relationship like now?

Cynthia: We talk occasionally, maybe once every few months. Nothing deep or intense, just friendly check-ins. I’m also dating someone else now, and Maleek knows that. I’ve told him about my current relationship. I’ve moved on completely, and I’m in a much healthier place mentally and emotionally. 

Maleek: I’m still single. I’m focused on relocating abroad right now, so I’m not really actively looking for a relationship. But I’m glad Cynthia and I can at least be cordial after everything that happened between us. I’m glad she’s moved on and found happiness with someone who treats her better than I did. I’ve done a lot of serious self-reflection since everything happened, and I’ve worked hard on myself. I’m not the same person I was back then. 

Looking back, what do you wish you’d done differently?

Maleek: I wish I trusted her more and didn鈥檛 listen to my 鈥渇riends鈥�. They didn鈥檛 mean well with all their side comments, disguised as concern for me. I also have better control of my emotions now.

Cynthia: I wish I’d left the very first time things got physical. I wish I’d valued myself more from the beginning and recognised immediately that no amount of financial comfort or material things is worth your physical safety or your mental peace. 

Do you think you guys will ever be in a relationship again?

Cynthia: Not romantically. I’m content with us being friends from a distance.

Maleek: I agree. What we had is in the past. I respect where she is now and her decision to move on. 

On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your love life?

Cynthia: Maybe a 3. There were good moments, especially in the beginning. But the bad far outweighed the good. 

Maleek: I’d say a 4. I cared about her, and I tried in my own flawed way. But I let my insecurities get the best of me.

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this听.

In this week鈥檚 Marriage Diaries, he talks about loving a partner whose spiritual journey has been anything but stable, and what it has taken to keep his home together through it all.

This is a look into his marriage diary.

I鈥檝e always believed love is in action, not words

I鈥檝e never seen myself as a romantic person, and I don鈥檛 think that has changed.

For me, love has always been about what you do. If I care about you, I鈥檒l make sure you鈥檙e comfortable, provided for and protected. All these things about saying sweet words or constantly expressing feelings don鈥檛 come naturally to me. It doesn鈥檛 mean I don鈥檛 care, it鈥檚 just not my way.

I remember a girl I dated in university. That relationship could have led to marriage, but she couldn鈥檛 deal with my nature. As a student, I was already giving her allowance and paying for her private hostel. To me, that was more than enough to show that I cared.

But she wanted something different. She complained that I didn鈥檛 say sweet things or baby her. She also liked being clingy in public, and I didn鈥檛 have patience for that. It used to irritate me.

When the relationship ended, my friends would tease me and say I鈥檇 struggle to find a woman because everything I disliked was exactly what women wanted.

But when I met my wife, I knew immediately that she was different. We understood each other without needing to over-explain things. We both show love through what we do, not just what we say, and that has worked for us for over 20 years.

I鈥檝e always seen marriage as a responsibility

Marriage, for me, was never about romance or fantasy. It was simply the next step in becoming a man.

My father used to say that the first step is leaving your parents鈥� house and taking care of yourself. The next is getting married and building your own family. That mindset stayed with me.

I met my wife through a family friend. She was ready for marriage; I was, too, and things moved naturally from there. It wasn鈥檛 about long courtship or overthinking things. We connected, understood what we both wanted, and decided to move forward.

If I鈥檓 being honest, my dad influenced me a lot. He was a strict man. Growing up, we couldn鈥檛 get too close to him or play around him the way some children do with their fathers. But despite that, he always showed up for us in the ways that mattered. He provided, he protected, and we never lacked anything.

He didn鈥檛 say much, but his actions spoke. That鈥檚 where I learned that actions carry more weight than words. Even now, I still believe that if you ask most women to choose between a man who talks sweet and a man who consistently shows up and handles his responsibilities, especially in this economy, the answer is clear.

My wife changing religion was something I never planned for

If there鈥檚 one thing marriage has taught me, it鈥檚 that you can鈥檛 control everything, no matter how prepared you think you are.

I鈥檓 a Muslim, and when I got married, my wife was also a Muslim. That was important to me because I grew up in a strictly Muslim home. My parents always made it clear that marrying within the religion was the right thing to do. So religion was never something I expected to deal with in marriage.

But after we had our first child, I started noticing small changes. She would miss her daily prayers and mention going for vigils with friends. At the time, I didn鈥檛 think too much about it. To me, she was still worshipping God.

Then one day, she told me she had decided to become a Christian. It wasn鈥檛 easy to hear. On top of that, she asked me not to tell any family members because she wanted to handle it in her own time. So I was carrying that information alone.

My first instinct was to reject it completely. But I could see how serious she was, and I knew forcing her would only create bigger problems.

So I made a decision. I told her she was free to practise whatever religion she wanted, but the children would remain Muslims. At the time, that felt like the only way to keep the peace.

I had to accept that I can鈥檛 control my family鈥檚 choices

Even with that agreement, things didn鈥檛 stay as simple as I hoped. All our children were raised as Muslims, but when our first child got to university, she decided to become a Christian as well. Of course, I wasn鈥檛 happy. I wanted to correct it and do something. But I had to face reality. She was no longer a child. She had her own mind and could make her own decisions.

At that point, I realised something important. Even if you set rules in your home, you cannot control people forever.

The truth is, their mother has moved between Islam and Christianity more than once. So the children have seen different things growing up. When they鈥檝e been exposed to that, you can鈥檛 be surprised if they make their own choices later.

Now, the other two are still Muslims, but I鈥檓 not deceiving myself. If they decide tomorrow to follow a different path, there鈥檚 only so much I can do. That realisation didn鈥檛 come easily, but it has helped me become calmer about things I can鈥檛 control.

Religion has caused some of our biggest arguments

Religion didn鈥檛 just change in our home; it also caused serious arguments between my wife and me. We see things differently.

When challenges happen, I tend to accept them as the will of God. I believe you do your best and leave the rest. My wife is the opposite. She believes life is a battle and you must always be actively doing something. She鈥檚 always looking for solutions, spiritual or otherwise.

There was a time she would bring different things for the children, ointments, prayers, all sorts of things meant to 鈥減rotect鈥� or 鈥渉elp鈥� them. I remember when our first child was preparing for junior WAEC, and she brought something for memory. I was very angry. I threw it away immediately, even though it came from an Islamic cleric.

We鈥檝e had many arguments like that. But over time, I鈥檝e changed how I respond. I鈥檝e become calmer. I鈥檝e learned that reacting to everything only creates more tension. Now, I focus on what truly matters and let some things go, especially when I know her intentions are good. She鈥檚 just trying to protect her family in the way she understands.

Marriage has made me more tolerant than I ever expected

If there鈥檚 one thing marriage has changed about me, it鈥檚 my level of tolerance. I鈥檝e become more patient than I ever thought I could be.

There was even a time my wife said she was returning to Islam. I was genuinely happy. She became serious about it, and I even considered sponsoring her for Hajj, but I couldn鈥檛 afford it at the time. Then, after about two years, she changed again.

At some point, even family and friends started noticing. It鈥檚 not something you can hide. One day she鈥檚 fully practising Islam, the next she鈥檚 in church again.

Before marriage, I don鈥檛 think I would have been able to handle something like that. But now, I鈥檝e learned to take things as they come. I鈥檝e chosen to focus on keeping my home together rather than fighting battles that won鈥檛 change anything.

So yes, marriage has made me more tolerant. These days, fewer things get to me. I鈥檝e learned that worrying or getting angry won鈥檛 always change the situation.

Love alone is not enough to keep a marriage going

I believe love has its place in marriage, but it can鈥檛 stand on its own. As a man, you can鈥檛 rely on love alone. You need commitment, patience, communication, and the ability to provide and protect your family. If those things are missing, love will not save the marriage. 

Love is important, but it has to work together with other things. That鈥檚 what keeps a marriage going for years.

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.

Got a marriage story to share? Please  and we鈥檒l reach out.

Nofisat* (28) and Niyi* (30) grew up in the same neighbourhood but didn’t start dating until 2024. 

On this week’s Love Life, they talk about how a childhood acquaintance became something more, why she dated his older brother in secondary school and his cousin in university without knowing they were related, and the struggles of navigating a family that houses one鈥檚 exes. 

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this听.

What’s your earliest memory of each other?

Nofisat: We grew up in the same area, but we weren’t close as children at all. Niyi was one of those kids in the neighbourhood that everybody knew about, but he never really came out to play with the rest of us. He was very reclusive and was always indoors, even when his siblings came out. So my earliest memory of him is just knowing he existed.听

Niyi: She was always outside, playing with someone. I’d see her through the window sometimes, running around, laughing, being loud and social. We lived in the same neighbourhood, knew of each other, but were in completely different worlds. She was outgoing, and I was withdrawn. There was no bridge between us at that point.

When did you start interacting with each other?

Nofisat:  When we got to secondary school, Niyi transferred to my school. I think it was around JSS2 or JSS3. Even then, we weren’t exactly close. We were just classmates who knew each other from the neighbourhood. It wasn’t until I started dating his older brother in SS2 that Niyi and I began talking more regularly.

Niyi: She’d come to the house or we’d walk home from school together. We’d also borrow notes from each other occasionally, talk about school stuff, but it was very surface-level. My reclusiveness got worse in secondary school, so I wasn’t exactly fun to be around. I was just the quiet younger brother.

Nofisat: I should note that my relationship with his brother wasn鈥檛 anything deep or serious. We liked each other, hung out, and did the things secondary school couples do. But it didn’t last beyond secondary school. As soon as we graduated, everyone moved on. 

We went to different universities, and the connection naturally fizzled out. His brother went to Zaria, I went to a private university in Benin Republic, and Niyi went to UI. We saw each other during breaks, and by then, whatever we had was already over. But I coincidentally got with their cousin. I didn鈥檛 even know they were related.

Wait. How did that happen?

Nofisat: In uni, I dated a guy I met through mutual friends during my first year. We hit it off quickly and dated for about 2 years. It was a good relationship while it lasted. But like many university relationships, it eventually ran its course, and we broke up.听

What I had absolutely no clue about was that he was Niyi’s cousin. I’d never seen him at Niyi’s house during all their family events, or maybe I just never noticed. 

How did you find out?

Nofisat: During a school break 鈥� or maybe it was a Christmas break 鈥� I went to Niyi’s house. I can’t even remember why now. But when I got there and walked into the compound, I saw my ex. The guy I’d broken up with months earlier in Benin Republic. I was so confused. My brain couldn’t process what I saw. For a few seconds, we stared at each other in shock. When I finally asked what he was doing there, he told me he was Niyi’s cousin. It was so awkward.

Niyi: I thought it was funny, honestly. Not in a mocking way, but just the coincidence of it all. This girl had dated my older brother in secondary school, and now she’d dated my cousin in university without even knowing we were related. But at that time, Nofisat and I were still just acquaintances. There was nothing romantic between us. So that knowledge didn鈥檛 matter.

Right. Let鈥檚 get back to that. When did things change between the two of you?

Nofisat: It was after NYSC. I had finished serving, and I was back home, job hunting and doing some personal business from the house. I was home most of the time, and so was Niyi because he was working remotely. For a long time, I assumed we were both unemployed. I thought he was also struggling to find work like I was.

Niyi: I had a full-time remote job and freelance gigs on the side. But from the outside, it looked like I was staying at home all day.

Nofisat: It’s hard to remember exactly what brought us together or what sparked the conversation. We may have ran intoeach other in the neighbourhood and just started talking. During that conversation, I mentioned something about job hunting and how tough the market was. That’s when he told me he was fully employed and working remotely.

Niyi: After that conversation, we started talking more frequently. We run into each other, or I鈥檇 send her links to job openings I found on Twitter. The conversations got deeper over time. We talked about work, life, what we wanted for our futures, and all that.听

It was nice to have someone who understood where I was in life, even though our situations were different.

Was this when you started catching feelings? 

Nofisat: That happened gradually. We were both single, which created an opening that wouldn’t have existed otherwise. As we spent more time together, there was an undeniable shift in how we related to each other. It wasn’t just the kind of surface-level conversation you have with someone you’ve known your whole life but never really known. There was something else bubbling underneath all of that.

Niyi: Everything she said. I started looking forward to seeing her or hearing from her. I’d find excuses to text her or to be in places where I knew she’d be. It became clear to me that I was developing feelings for her. But I was also aware of her awkward dating history. She’d dated my brother and my cousin. That was something I had to think about before acting on my feelings.

Nofisat: I had the same worries g. I thought about the fact that I’d dated his older brother in secondary school, even though it was brief and immature. I’d also dated his cousin in university for two whole years, which was a real relationship with real feelings and real history. And now here I was, catching feelings for Niyi himself, the third person from the same family. 

It felt really weird when I laid it out like that. Like, what are the chances?   Was I potentially about to make it even more complicated by pursuing something with Niyi? Although none of those relationshipverlapped,  it felt almost inappropriate. They were all in the past. But still, I worried about what people would think, especially our families.

Did you talk to each other about this concern?

Niyi: Yes, we had to address it before we moved forward. I told her that it didn’t matter to me. As far as I was concerned, what happened with my brother was in secondary school.  They were kids. It happened years ago, and it wasn’t even a serious relationship. As for my cousin, yes; that was more recent and serious. But I spoke to him about it before making any move with Nofisat. I asked him if he’d have an issue with it, and he said he didn’t. He’d moved on, and he had no problem with me dating her.

Nofisat: Even with Niyi’s reassurance and his cousin’s blessing, I still felt weird about it. I appreciated that he spoke with his cousin and gained clarity. But it didn’t change the fact that I’d have to navigate family gatherings and potentially see these people regularly. It wasn’t just about whether they were okay with it. It was about how I’d feel in those situations.

 You both decided to pursue the relationship anyway.

Nofisat: The heart wants what it wants. We made it official in March 2024. 

Honestly, what we shared was fundamentally different from what I’d had with his brother or his cousin. Those were different chapters of my life. With Niyi, it felt more mature and intentional. We were adults who knew what we wanted from a partner and from life. We had real, substantive conversations about our futures, and I didn’t want to let it go just because of the awkward situation or what other people might think.

Niyi: For me, I just believed we could navigate the whole thing if we were intentional about it. 

Right. You’ve been dating for two years now. How has it been?

Nofisat: It’s still weird for me sometimes, I won’t lie. Even after two years with Niyi, there are moments at family events when I feel self-conscious. Thankfully, Niyi’s older brother relocated abroad a while ago, so he’s not around for family events anymore. That makes things significantly easier. I don’t have to wonder if he’s thinking about our secondary school relationship or if he’s judging me for being with his younger brother now. But Niyi’s cousin still shows up regularly at family gatherings. And every time I know he’s going to be there, I feel a little uncomfortable. We’re both completely over that relationship, but I don鈥檛 think it鈥檒l ever stop being awkward.听

Niyi: I don’t see it as an issue. The only thing I asked both my brother and my cousin was to keep whatever history they had with Nofisat to themselves. I don’t want it brought up in family conversations or used as a joke or gossip. That’s the one boundary I’ve set.

And have they respected that boundary?

Niyi: Yes. My brother is abroad, so it’s not really an issue with him. And my cousin has been respectful. When we’re all together, he treats Nofisat like he’d treat any other person in the room.

Curious. Are either of your parents aware? 

Niyi: My parents know, because I told them when Nofisat and I started getting serious. I didn’t want them to find out from someone else and make it a bigger deal. I explained the situation to them clearly. They were a bit surprised, but they didn’t make a big deal out of it. They just wanted to know if I was serious about Nofisat, and I told them I was.

Nofisat: His parents have been welcoming to me, which I appreciate. They treat me well, and they’ve never made me feel uncomfortable about the past. But I still wonder sometimes if they talk about it when I’m not around. 

As for my parents, they don鈥檛 know. I don鈥檛 really talk about my relationship with them. They鈥檙e just excited I鈥檓 dating someone they know. And that鈥檚 all they need to know.

What’s the best thing about being with each other despite this complicated history?

Nofisat: Niyi is so different from his brother and his cousin. I think that’s what makes this work. With him, I feel understood in a way I didn’t feel in those previous relationships. He’s thoughtful, he’s intentional, and he communicates well. We have deep conversations about what matters. He’s also very patient with my insecurities about the family situation. He doesn’t dismiss my feelings or tell me I’m being ridiculous. He listens and reassures me. That means a lot.

Niyi: Nofisat challenges me in good ways. She pushes me to be more social, present, and less reclusive. She’s also incredibly hardworking and ambitious, and I respect that about her. I don’t regret choosing to be with her.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your love life?

Niyi: I’d give it a 9. The only reason it’s not a 10 is that I know Nofisat still sometimes struggles with the family history, and I wish I could make that completely go away for her. But overall, I’m very happy with where we are.

Nofisat: I’d also say 9. Niyi is an amazing partner, and our relationship is solid. I’m learning to let go of my worries and just focus on us. So yes, a 9 feels right.

听*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this听.

Phones like the Infinix Note 60 Pro exist now, and they come with features your current phone simply doesn鈥檛 have. Here are five of them. 

A processor that doesn鈥檛 bail on you

You know that moment when you’re on a call, someone sends a file on WhatsApp, you’re trying to check your email, and your phone just freezes? That鈥檚 not a you problem. That鈥檚 a processor problem.

A good phone in 2026 should be able to handle everything you throw at it without flinching. App switching should be smooth. Background apps should stay where you left them. Performance should not nosedive the moment things get busy. If your phone slows down every time your hustle picks up, it might be the weapon fashioned against you. The solution? Make the switch to NOTE 60 Pro which is powered by the Snapdragon 7s Gen 4 5G chipset built for sustained, high-load multitasking.

AI tools that actually save you time

Your phone isn鈥檛 helping you think and work smarter in almighty 2026? We have one word: Gerrarahere.

The best phones right now come with AI writing assistance, smart text summarisation, and note organisation that does the heavy lifting before you even start. You should be able to draft a caption, summarise a long document, and organise your notes without spending an hour staring at a blank screen. Your brain has enough to deal with. And the Infinix Note 60 Pro is more than capable of handling the small stuff.

A way to check notifications without the trap of doomscrolling

Here鈥檚 a problem nobody talks about enough. You pick up your phone to check the time, and 40 minutes later, you鈥檙e jumping from page to page to keep up with a celebrity鈥檚 wedding. We鈥檝e all been there. 

The Infinix Note 60 Pro comes with a rear display that lets you see your notifications, the time, and incoming calls without ever unlocking your screen. No unlock, no temptation, no accidental 40-minute detour into the internet. Just the information you needed and back to what you were doing. It sounds small until you add up how many hours you have lost to doomscrolling.

A camera that works even when the lighting doesn’t

Yes, the skies aren鈥檛 as blue, and the sunlight looks nothing like the one abroad鈥e鈥檝e all agreed that Nigerian lighting will humble you. But bad lighting is no longer a valid excuse for terrible pictures.

In 2026, your camera should be able to handle low light without turning everything into a grainy mess. Night photography should produce crisp, vibrant, professional-looking results, whether you鈥檙e at the beach with friends, recording a TikTok in your room, or trying to capture a moment at an event with terrible lighting. If your camera only works in broad daylight, do we still need to tell you why the Infinix Note 60 Pro is the better option?

A battery that lasts as long as your day does

The audacity of a phone dying at 2 p.m. You have a whole afternoon left. Work to finish, messages to send, content to post, and your phone is on the floor next to a charger, begging for dear life. God, abeg.

In 2026, constant low battery is a low-quality problem you shouldn鈥檛 have to deal with. The Infinix Note 60 Pro comes with a 6500mAh battery, the kind of capacity that powers your device all day long. And when you eventually do need to charge, 90W fast charging gets you back to full in record time. None of this plugging in for two hours to get to 40%. 

So therefore鈥�

Your phone isn鈥檛 just a phone anymore. It鈥檚 your camera, your office, your content studio, your assistant, and, on some days, your only source of entertainment during power cuts. It deserves to be taken seriously.

If you are still managing with a phone that lags, dies early, and makes everything harder than it needs to be, 2026 is the year to stop managing. The Infinix Note 60 Pro has all five of these features, and then some.