Tayo*(30) and Tunde* (29) were more than friends; they were brothers. So when Tunde asked for a big favour during a family emergency, Tayo didn’t hesitate to help. 

For Sunken Ships, he shares how that decision unravelled a seven-year friendship and changed the way he thinks about favours forever. 

How did you meet?

We met in our first year at university in 2015. We lived in the same hostel and became close friends after bonding over our shared love for football. 

What was your friendship with him like?

I saw Tunde as a brother. We were so close that I鈥檇 spend holidays with his family in Ibadan instead of going home. If we wanted to hang out in Lagos instead, he鈥檇 stay with my family. He was truly my best friend.

Did you remain close after you graduated?

Yes. After we graduated, we both moved to Lagos for work. We didn’t see each other as much as we used to, but we still spoke every week. 

So what changed?

In 2022, Tunde called me one evening, sounding stressed. He said his mother was ill and needed treatment urgently.

Oh no.

Exactly. He said he needed 鈧�850,000 and asked if I could lend him 鈧�500K. At the time, I only had a little more than that in my savings, but this was my guy. We’d been friends for seven years, and his mum was also very kind to me when I stayed with them. I didn’t even think twice, I sent him 鈧�700K.

That鈥檚 so kind. Did he say when he would pay back?

Yes. He said he’d return it within three months because he was expecting money from a contract, but after the time had passed, he didn鈥檛 mention the money.

Did that upset you?

No, I wasn鈥檛 upset. I know how exhausting it can be to pay hospital bills. It was almost all the money I had saved up, but I didn鈥檛 need it right then, so I didn鈥檛 pester him for the money. But after six months, I noticed something.

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What was that?

This guy was posting a lavish lifestyle on Instagram. Weekend trips with his babe, new clothes and more. Every time I viewed his stories or statuses, he was always out and about, spending money. 

Ah.

Meanwhile, every time I mentioned him paying me back, he’d suddenly become the poorest man in Nigeria. The excuses just kept coming. If his car wasn鈥檛 having issues, it was that he had to send his sister money for an emergency.

Did you confront him?

I did, and he got immediately defensive. He told me I was counting his pockets and that just because he posted pictures or videos online didn’t mean he had money. He said he only posted them because he works in the entertainment industry and his social media had to be on point.

Omo.

It got worse. A mutual friend got married in March 2023, and we both attended. During the reception, Tunde was spraying bundles of money without a care in the world. I nearly lost my mind.

Did you bring up the debt there?

No, but I called him the next day and asked why he hadn鈥檛 paid me back yet, and he said I was disrespecting him and making him feel small.

What happened after that?

He started responding to my messages with one-word replies and avoided my calls. I got tired of trying to reach him and let things be.

Wow. Did he pay you back at all?

He sent 鈧�100k to me a week after the wedding with no explanation or message. Even after I texted to let him know I saw the money, he didn鈥檛 respond. That鈥檚 the last time we鈥檝e communicated.

That鈥檚 wild.

It is. I heard from a mutual friend that Tunde said he felt embarrassed and thought I cared more about the money than our friendship.

What do you think about that?

I think that’s nonsense. If I cared more about the money than the friendship, I wouldn’t have lent it to him in the first place. I had plans for that money, but I chose to help him because I cared about him so much.

Do you miss him?

Sometimes, I do. It鈥檚 been over three years now, and it鈥檚 still crazy to me that we鈥檙e no longer close because of money. I don鈥檛 have anyone else who was as close to me as Tunde was.

Would you reconcile if he reached out?

Maybe. Only after he sends the remaining 鈧�600,000 he owes. Then we can talk.

Has this affected your other friendships in any way?

Yes. Now, I still help my friends when I can, but when it comes to money, I鈥檓 strict. I only loan money I can give away without stressing. 

Table of contents

Finding the right good night message for him can turn an ordinary evening into a wonderful one as he drifts off to sleep. Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship or simply want to remind your partner how much he means to you, the right words can make all the difference. 

We know not every night calls for the same tone, and having a wide variety to choose from matters. Sometimes you want something tender and vulnerable and other times a playful joke. With over 250 options, you鈥檒l find a good night message for him that lets you express your feelings.

Good Night Love Message for Him

The right good night love message for him is perfect for reminding him that no matter how the day went, he is cherished, adored, and always on your mind. 

• Every night I fall asleep with a grateful heart, knowing that you are mine. Good night, my love.

• The stars are beautiful tonight, but none of them shine as brightly as you do in my life. Sweet dreams, handsome.

• As the day comes to an end, my love for you only grows stronger. I can鈥檛 wait to do another day with you by my side. Good night and sleep tight.

• Closing my eyes tonight, my last thought is of your smile and how lucky I am to have you in my world. Good night.

• No matter how long or hard the day was, knowing I get to love you makes everything worth it. I love you. Rest well, my heart.

• You are my favourite part of every day and the only thought on my mind every night. Good night, my darling.

• The night feels warmer knowing that somewhere under these same stars, you are thinking of me too. Sweet dreams, baby.

• I could write a thousand love letters and still never fully capture what you mean to me. Good night, my everything.

• Tonight, I am sending you all my love wrapped up in this message. Hold it close and sleep well, my love.

• Distance means nothing when you mean everything. Good night to the man who means the world to me.

• Before I close my eyes, I just want you to know that loving you is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

• Sleep well, my love. Tomorrow I get to love you all over again, and I cannot wait.

• You are the calm at the end of every storm, the peace at the end of every day. You make me feel alive. Good night, my safe place.

• My heart is so full tonight because of you. I hope your dreams are just as full of warmth and beautiful dreams.

• Every day spent loving you feels like a gift. I love you forever. Good night, my treasure.

• The moon is keeping watch over you tonight, and so is my love. Sleep well, handsome.

• I used to think nights were just an end to a day. Then I met you and realized they are a promise of a new tomorrow full of amazing adventure. Good night, my love.

• Thank you for being the man who makes my mornings brighter simply by existing. Good night and sweet dreams.

• Just a reminder before you sleep: you are deeply loved, and you鈥檙e always on my mind. Good night, babe.

• Every love song makes sense when I think of you. Good night to my favourite person on earth.

• Wherever you are tonight, I hope you feel how close my heart is to yours. Sleep well, my love.

• You make ordinary nights feel magical just by being the person I get to say good night to. Good night, my lover.

• I never knew how sweet it could feel to love someone until I met you. Good night and dream of me.

• The best part of every night is knowing that when morning comes, I still get to be yours. Good night, love.

• You deserve the deepest sleep and the most beautiful dreams because you make my waking life feel like one. Good night, bae.

• My love for you grows with each passing day, like fruit ripening on trees. Sweet dreams.

• As the world goes quiet around me, every thought drifts back to you. Good night, my heart. Sleep well.

ALSO READ: 100+ Heartfelt Long Good Morning Messages for Her

Romantic Good Night Message for Him

The perfect romantic good night message for him will keep the spark alive and remind him just how deeply and passionately he is loved. 

• The romance novels I used to read never prepared me for the real thing. For you. Good night to the man who makes love feel like the greatest adventure I have ever been on.

• There is something so romantic about the quiet of the night, especially when my thoughts are filled with you. I hope you drift off tonight knowing that you are loved in the deepest way. Good night.

• I want you to know that every love story I have ever admired pales in comparison to ours. Good night, my love, our story is my favourite one ever written.

• The way you look at me makes me feel like the only woman in the entire world. I am going to hold that feeling close tonight as I fall asleep dreaming of you. Good night, baby.

• Romance is not just grand gestures and candlelit dinners, it鈥檚 the quiet certainty of knowing someone is yours. Good night to the man who gives me that assurance every single day.

• I could spend a thousand nights falling asleep beside  you, and I would still say it is not enough. With you, I want more. Good night, my darling.

• Every time I think about your touch, my heart dances like raindrops on flowers. Sweet dreams tonight, and know that my heart beats a little faster just thinking of you.

• If I could paint the way I feel about you, the canvas would be as vast and endless as the night sky above us. Good night, my love. You colour my whole world.

• Being loved by you feels like living inside the most beautiful story ever written. I close my eyes tonight with nothing but gratitude filling my heart. Rest well, babe.

• The stars outside my window remind me of you, constant, and beautiful. Good night, my love, and you light up my darkest nights.

• I keep falling for you in new ways every single day, and tonight I have fallen all over again. Sleep well, my heart, and know that my love for you deepens with every passing night.

• There is a special kind of magic in the way you make me feel without even trying. I am lying here smiling to myself because of you. Good night, my wonderful man.

• I want to whisper every beautiful thing I feel about you into the night air so it finds you in your dreams. Sleep peacefully, baby. You are cherished beyond what words can ever fully express.

• Our love is the kind that poets spend their whole lives trying to describe. Good night to the man who makes me understand what love truly means.

• I never believed in soulmates until the universe placed you directly in my path. Good night, my love. I am so endlessly thankful it did.

• Falling asleep is sweeter when the last thought on my mind is your laugh, your voice, and the way you say my name. Good night, handsome. You are everything I ever dreamed of.

• I used to wish for a love like the ones in the movies. Then I found you, and I realised real love is so much better. Good night, my lover.

• There is no feeling in the world quite like knowing someone loves you back just as fiercely as you love them. Good night to my perfect match, you take my breath away.

• I want every good night message I send you to feel like a warm embrace reaching across the distance between us. Hold this message close tonight and know that my arms wish they were wrapped around you.

• The love I feel for you is not something I have to work at,  it flows out of me because of who you are. Good night, my love, and wishing you sweet, beautiful dreams.

• Every evening that ends with you on my mind is an evening well spent. Good night to the man who has made a permanent home inside my heart.

• I could whisper your name into the night air a thousand times and it would never get old. Sleep well, my love.

• The night wraps around me like a blanket, but it is the thought of you that truly makes me feel warm and safe. Good night, my love. I am yours completely.

• I think about the life we are building together and my heart nearly bursts with how much I love it. Good night, my love. I cannot wait for tomorrow with you.

• You have turned the simple act of saying good night into one of my favourite moments of the day. I love you more than tonight’s sky has stars. Good night baby.

• Every great love story has a moment where one person realizes the other is irreplaceable. I had that moment with you, and I relive it every time I close my eyes. Good night, my irreplaceable love.

• The romance between us is deep, steady, and more beautiful than anything I have ever known. Good night, my love, and thank you for loving me so perfectly.

• I think the night was designed for lovers. For the quiet moments of missing my love and the sweetness of knowing you鈥檙e are thinking of me too. Good night, my love. I hope you feel me thinking of you.

• You have given me so many reasons to smile that I have lost count, and tonight I am smiling again just because of you. Sleep well, you are the love of my life.

• If loving you is a dream, I hope I never wake up. Good night to the man who has given me the most beautiful romance.

ALSO READ: 250+ Deep, Romantic Love Messages That Will Melt Her Heart

Long Good Night Message for Him

Make him smile tonight with a long good night message for him. These are perfect for the nights when you have so much love to express that a few words simply will not do it justice. 

• As the night settles in and the world around me grows quiet, my thoughts drift to you the way they always do at this hour. I find myself replaying the moments we have shared 鈥� the laughter, and the conversations that stretched long past midnight. I want you to know that every single one of those moments lives in me like a treasure I return to again and again. You have given me something precious, and I鈥檓 so grateful for the fullness you have brought into my life. Sleep well tonight, my love.

• Tonight I want to take a moment before sleep to tell you something I do not say enough; you鈥檙e extraordinary. Not just in the grand, obvious ways, but in the quiet ways too. The way you listen when I speak, the way you show up even when it is hard, the way you love without conditions. I see all of it, and it moves me deeply every single time. I hope when you lay your head down tonight, you feel the weight of how deeply you are loved. Good night, my remarkable man.

• There are nights when I鈥檓 completely overwhelmed by how much I love you. It catches me off guard sometimes. I think about where my life was before you walked into it, and I cannot believe how different everything looks now. You have added colour to places that were grey, warmth to corners that were cold, and meaning to moments that used to pass without notice. I don鈥檛 want to take that for granted. Good night, my love. You have changed my life in the most beautiful way imaginable.
  

• I have been thinking tonight about all the little things you do that make me fall for you over and over again. The way you check on me when I seem off, even when I insist I am fine. The way you remember the small details I mention in passing, as if everything I say matters to you. The way you make me feel safe enough to be completely myself without fear or pretense. These are everything to me. They are the reason I look forward to every day, and the reason every night ends with a heart so full it could overflow. Sleep peacefully tonight, because you deserve every good thing.
• Good night to the man who has become my favourite person in the world. When the day gets hard and everything feels like too much, the thought of you is what steadies me. You are my anchor in every storm, the calm voice in every moment of chaos, and the one face I want to see at the end of every long day. I love you more than any message could ever hold, but I am going to keep trying to tell you anyway. Good night, my heart.
  

• Before you close your eyes tonight, I want you to carry this with you: you are one of the most best people I have ever had the privilege of knowing. In a world full of people going through the motions, you are someone who truly, deeply shows up  for me, and for the people you love. I admire you every single day and I never want to stop telling you. Sleep well tonight, you are so deeply loved.
  

• I have been lying here trying to think of the perfect words to capture everything I feel for you, and I keep coming up short. Loving you has been the single greatest gift of my life. It has taught me things about myself I never knew, opened me up in ways I did not think were possible, and shown me what it truly means to be known and cherished by another person. I go to sleep tonight richer for having you in my life, and I will wake up tomorrow ready to love you all over again. Good night, my endless love.
  

• Tonight, as the stars take their places in the sky and the night settles over everything like a gentle blanket, I am thinking about our future. I am thinking about all the nights ahead of us, all the mornings we have yet to wake up to, all the adventures still waiting for us just around the corner. The thought of building that future with you fills me with a joy so deep it is almost impossible to put into words. I am not just in love with who you are right now, I am in love with everything we鈥檙e still becoming together. Sleep well tonight, my love.
  

• I want to take this quiet moment before sleep to thank you for loving me the way that you do. Thank you for being patient on the days when I am difficult. Thank you for choosing me again and again without making me feel like a burden. Thank you for the warmth you bring into every room and every conversation. Thank you for being someone I can trust with my heart completely. You deserve to know how profoundly your love has impacted my life, and I am going to spend every night reminding you. Good night, my love.
  

• Right now, the only thing I can focus on is you. I am thinking about the sound of your voice and how it calms something in me that nothing else can reach. I am thinking about the way you make ordinary moments feel like memories worth keeping. I am thinking about how different my life would be without you in it, and I cannot even entertain that thought for long because it makes the world seem too dim. You are my light, my warmth, my greatest joy, and my deepest love. I hope you get the rest you deserve tonight. I love you, Good night.
  

• Every night before I sleep, I think of the things I am grateful for, and you鈥檙e always at the very top of that list. I am grateful for your humour and for the way you can make me laugh even on the hardest days. I am grateful for your strength. I am grateful for your tenderness, the gentle way you love that makes me feel safe enough to let my walls down completely. You are a rare and wonderful person, and I never want a day to pass where you do not know that. Good night, my treasure.
  

• In the late hours of the night, you are always where my thoughts go. I find myself replaying your words, your laughter, the warmth in your eyes when you look at me like I am something precious. I am so in love with you that it fills up every quiet space inside me and leaves no room for anything else. I hope you feel that love travelling across the distance that lies between us tonight. Sleep peacefully, my love.
  

• My love, you are incredible. You are the kind of man who makes the people around him better. You lead with kindness and you love fiercely even when it would be safer to hold back. I am in awe of it. And I am so deeply honoured to be loved by someone as genuinely wonderful as you. Good night, my love, you are someone truly extraordinary.
  

• Tonight I am sending you every ounce of love I have. My love for you is not seasonal or circumstantial. It does not depend on good days or easy moments. It is constant and deep and growing, like roots that go further into the ground with every passing season. You have my whole heart tonight, and you will have it again tomorrow morning. Good night, my forever love.
  

• As the day closes its eyes around me, I find myself wanting to reach through this screen and hold your hand, to sit with you in the quiet of the night and say nothing at all, because with you, even silence is beautiful. I miss you. It reminds me how lucky I am to have found someone this precious. I hope tonight is gentle with you, that sleep comes easily, and that your dreams are wonderful. And I hope that somewhere in those dreams, you feel me close by. Good night, my love.
  

• I have been thinking about what love really means, and every answer I come up with has your face attached to it. Love is the way you check in on me without being asked. Love is the way you remember what I said I was nervous about and bring it up later to make sure I am okay. Love is the way you make me feel like the most important person in the room simply by paying attention. You are love in its most beautiful form, and being on the receiving end of it has changed me in ways I am still discovering. Good night, my love.
  

• There are so many things I want to say to you tonight that I hardly know where to begin, so I will start with the most important: I love you. I love you not just in the easy moments but in every moment. I love you when things are simple and I love you when everything feels complicated. I hope that certainty reaches you tonight and wraps around you like a warm embrace. Sleep well, my love.
  

• Tonight I鈥檝e been thinking about how far we鈥檝e come and how much we鈥檝e built. About the love that has grown between us not like a spark that burns fast and bright, but like a fire that is carefully tended and grows steadier with time. That is what we have, and it is something I will never stop being grateful for. Good night, my love, we are something truly beautiful.
  

• I keep thinking about a moment from not too long ago when I looked at you and thought to myself, this is it. Because real love lives in the ordinary moments, and you make every ordinary moment feel extraordinary. I want you to know that I choose you in all the quiet, ordinary moments, not just the big and beautiful ones. I choose you tonight, as I drift off to sleep, and I will choose you again when morning comes. Good night, my person.

• Before the night takes me under, I want to pour everything I feel into these words and send them to you. You matter to my happiness, to my sense of home, to the way I see the world and my place in it. Life before you feels like a story I was just moving through, and life with you feels like I am actually living. You are everything to me. Sleep peacefully tonight, my love.
  

• Good night to the man who has loved me through every version of myself 鈥� the confident version and the uncertain one. You have never made me feel like too much or not enough, and that gift is immeasurable. I carry the safety of your love with me like armour, and it makes me fee braver. Tonight I just want to say thank you for every moment of it. Sleep well, babe.
  

• I find myself thinking tonight about all the versions of the future I used to imagine and how grateful I am that life had better plans for me. Because none of those imagined futures included you, and now that I know what it feels like to have you in my life, I cannot imagine wanting any other version. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are the answer to every question I was quietly asking. I love you so much it fills me up completely. Good night, my love, sleep beautifully.
  

• Tonight the world is hushed and still, and in this stillness I feel the full weight of how much I love you pressing warmly against my chest. I am exactly where I am supposed to be because I have you in my life. I hope the same peace finds you tonight, wherever you are. Good night, my love.
  

• As another day folds itself into the past, I want you to know how much I  love you. I have chosen to love you every day since the day I met you, and I will keep making that choice for as long as I am given the chance. Tonight is just one more night in a long and beautiful line of nights that I am grateful to spend thinking of you. Good night, my love.
  

• If I could do one thing tonight it would be to sit beside you because your presence is one of my favourite places in the world to be. There is a comfort in being near you that I have not found anywhere else, a sense of rightness that settles over me l. I miss that feeling on the nights we are apart, and I hold onto the memory of it like something precious. Good night, my love. I am counting the moments until I get to be in your orbit again, and in the meantime, this message will have to do. Sleep well.
  

• Tonight I am thinking about all the good nights still ahead of us; the ones we will share in the same room and the ones we will send across the miles, the ones that will follow great days and the ones that will follow hard ones. I am thinking about how all of them, every single one, will be made better by the fact that you are the person I am saying good night to. That is one of the great privileges of my life. I want to always remember that, to never let it become so familiar that I stop noticing it. Good night, my love. I am so glad you are mine.
  

• As this night begins and the quiet of the world invites me to slow down, everything inside me turns toward you. I think about the journey that brought us to each other and I feel an overwhelming sense of wonder. Out of all the possible lives I could have lived, I got this one,  the one with you in it. That feels like the greatest fortune imaginable. I love you more than the night sky has room to hold stars, and I will still be saying that long after the stars have gone to sleep. Good night, my greatest blessing.
  

ALSO READ: 100+ Heartwarming Long Good Night Messages for Her

Funny Good Night Message for Him

A funny good night message for him is guaranteed to put a smile on his face and send him off to sleep in the best possible mood. 

• I was going to say something deep and romantic, but honestly I’m just texting to make sure you know I’m the best thing that ever happened to you before you fall asleep. Sweet dreams, and you’re welcome.
  

• Good night to the man who somehow manages to snore like a plane and still look adorable doing it. I don’t know how you pull that off, but here we are.
  

• Just wanted to remind you before you sleep that I am funnier, smarter, and better looking than your pillow, yet your pillow gets to be with you tonight and I don’t. Reflect on that injustice. Good night.
  

• Science says you should sleep for eight hours, but since when have we ever done what science says? Stay up and text me. Just kidding. Go to sleep. But also text me. Good night, babe.
  

• Good night to the man who has seen me at my absolute worst and somehow stuck around anyway. Your judgment is questionable but your loyalty is unmatched. I love you!

• I hope your dreams are as good as your excuses for being late to our last date. And considering how creative those excuses were, you should be in for a fantastic night. Good night.
  

• I was going to write you a poem for good night, but nothing rhymes with the specific kind of chaos you bring into my life, so just this message will have to do. Good night, my baby boy.
  

• Sleep tight and don’t let the bed bugs bite, but if they do, at least you’ll have something to complain about tomorrow and I know how much you love having material. Good night, babe.
  

• Good night to the man who has the audacity to look that good doing absolutely nothing. It is genuinely unfair and I would like to file a formal complaint. Sweet dreams.
  

• I just wanted to say good night and also remind you that I was right about the thing we argued about earlier. Sleep on that. Literally.
  

• Good night to the person who has successfully convinced me to watch a show I said I would never watch at least four separate times. Youshould go into politics.

• I hope you sleep so well tonight that you wake up completely confused about what day it is. You deserve that level of rest. Good night, king.
  

• I would say sleep like a baby, but babies wake up crying every two hours, so let’s aim higher. Sleep like a man who has absolutely nothing to worry about because his girlfriend is amazing. Good night.
  

• You crossed my mind tonight so I figured I’d cross your phone screen with this message. Consider us even. Good night, handsome.
  

• Real talk,  you could have ended up with someone way more boring, so count your blessings tonight as you drift off to sleep. You are very lucky. Good night from your favourite person.
  

• I was going to let you go to sleep without texting but then I thought, 鈥榳hat if he forgets how funny I am by morning?鈥� Can’t risk it. Good night, don’t forget about me.
  

• You are the first person I want to talk to in the morning and the last person I want to annoy before bed, so here I am, right on schedule. Good night, babe.

ALSO READ: 200+ Heartwarming Love and Trust Messages for Her

Sweet Good Night Message for Him

Show him that he is thought of and deeply appreciated with a sweet goodnight message for him. 

• Good night to the man who makes my whole world feel warmer just by being in it. I hope your sleep is as sweet as the way you make me feel every single day.
  

• Just wanted to remind you before you sleep that you are so deeply loved and so genuinely appreciated. Good night, my favourite person,rest well.
  

• Every day with you feels like a little gift, and tonight I am going to sleep with a grateful heart because of you. Sweet dreams, handsome.
  

• I hope tonight is gentle with you and that sleep comes quickly and easily. You work so hard and you deserve every moment of rest that finds you. Good night, my love.
  

• You make my ordinary days feel extraordinary without even trying. Good night to the man who has no idea just how special he truly is.
  

• Before you close your eyes tonight, I just want you to know that thinking of you is the best part of my day. Good night and sweet dreams.
  

• I feel so lucky every single day to have someone like you in my life. Good night, my love.
  

• You have this wonderful way of making everyone around you feel seen and valued, and tonight I just want to make sure you feel the same way. Good night, my wonderful man.
  

• The best part of every day is knowing that at the end of it, I still get to be yours. Good night and sleep tight, my love.
  

• I hope your dreams tonight are full of everything that makes you happiest, because you deserve every good thing the world has to offer. Sweet dreams, my heart.
  

• Good night to the one who makes me smile without even trying, laugh without any effort, and feel loved without any doubt. You are something truly special.
  

• I am so glad the universe decided we should find each other. Good night, my favourite. Sleep peacefully and wake up knowing you are adored.
  

• You have been on my mind all day in the sweetest possible way, and now as the night settles in, you are still right there. Good night, my love. I hope tomorrow brings you nothing but good things.
  

• There is nobody else in the world I would rather say good night to than you. Sleep well, my darling, and know that you are loved beyond measure.
  

• I love the person you are, not just when things are easy, but all the time, in every version of yourself. Good night to the most genuine soul I know.
  

• Sending you the warmest good night hug through this message tonight. I hope it finds you and wraps around you and carries you gently into the most peaceful sleep.
  

• Good night to the man who makes love look simple and beautiful and completely effortless. I learn so much about kindness just from watching the way you move through the world.
  

• You deserve a night of deep, restorative sleep after everything you give to the people around you every day. Good night, my love. Let tonight be all about rest and nothing else.
  

• I keep thinking about how glad I am that you are mine and I am yours. It is such a simple thought but it fills me up completely every time. Good night, my darling.
  

• If sweetness had a face it would look exactly like yours. Good night to the man who is pure goodness through and through.
  

• Just a little good night message to say that you matter so much to me and I never want you to forget it, not even for a single night. Rest well, my love.
  

• Good night to the man who shows up every day with a good heart and a kind spirit. The world needs more people like you, and I am so lucky I get to keep you.
  

• I am lying here smiling to myself because of you, and honestly there is no better way to end a day. Good night, my love, sweet dreams.
  

• You are my calm in every storm and my sunshine on every cloudy day. Good night to the man who makes everything better simply by existing in my life.
  

• I hope you know how much the little things you do mean to me. The check-ins, the kind words, the quiet ways you show you care, I notice all of it. Good night, my thoughtful love.
  

• Good night to the sweetest man I know. I hope tonight gives you everything you need.
  

• Every good night I send you is wrapped in so much love and warmth that I hope you can feel it when you read these words. Sleep well, my hear.
  

• You are one of those rare people who makes the world genuinely better just by being in it, and I am so grateful every day that I get to be close to that goodness. Good night, my love.
  

• No matter how the day went, I always end it feeling lucky because I have you. Good night, my silver lining.
  

• Good night to the man who has my whole heart completely and without reservation. Sleep deeply, dream sweetly, and wake up tomorrow ready for another beautiful day of being hopelessly adored by m

ALSO READ: 250+ Romantic Texts That Will Melt Her Heart (and Make Her Want You)

Good Night Prayer for Him

Close the day by lifting him up and speaking blessings over him as he sleeps with the perfect good night prayer for him.聽

• As you close your eyes tonight, I pray that God wraps you in His peace and holds you close through every hour of the night. You are so deeply loved by me, and even more deeply loved by Him. Good night, my love.
  

• Tonight I am lifting you up in prayer, asking God to guard your sleep, quiet your mind, and restore every part of you that the day has worn down. You deserve rest that only heaven can give. Good night, my darling.
  

• May the Lord watch over you tonight and fill your dreams with His goodness and grace. I am so grateful that God saw fit to place you in my life, and I thank Him for you every single night. Sweet dreams.
  

• I pray tonight that God surrounds you with His angels and keeps you safe through every hour of darkness. Sleep well, my love, knowing that you are covered in prayer.
  

• Before you sleep, know that I have said a prayer for you tonight; for your rest, your peace, your health, and your happiness. God knows how precious you are, and so do I. Good night, my love.
  

• May God grant you the kind of sleep that restores your body, renews your mind, and refreshes your spirit so that you wake up tomorrow ready to take on the world. Good night, and God bless you always.
  

• I pray that tonight the Lord quiets every anxious thought in your mind and replaces it with His perfect peace that surpasses all understanding. You carry so much, let God carry it for you tonight. Rest well.
  

• Good night, my love. I thank God every single day for the gift of your presence in my life, and tonight I ask Him to bless your sleep as abundantly as you have blessed my life simply by being in it.
  

• May God hold you in the palm of His hand tonight, keeping you safe, warm, and at perfect peace. I am praying for you as you sleep, and my heart is with you through every quiet hour of the night.
  

• Tonight I pray that God restores everything in you that has been depleted. You give so much of yourself to others, and I pray that the Lord replenishes every bit of it. Good night.
  

• As the night settles in, I am sending up a prayer for the most wonderful man I know. May God bless your rest, protect your dreams, and wake you up tomorrow with a heart full of peace and purpose. Good night, my love.
  

• I pray that the Lord covers you with His grace tonight and reminds you in the quiet of your sleep just how valued and cherished you are by Him, and by me. Sweet dreams, my love.
  

• Good night, my love. May God’s presence be so real to you tonight that you drift off to sleep feeling completely held, completely known, and completely at peace in His goodness and faithfulness.
  

• I am praying tonight that God takes every burden you are carrying and lifts it from your shoulders so that you can sleep freely. You do not have to carry the weight of the world, give it to Him. Rest well.
  

• May the God of all comfort draw near to you tonight and fill every corner of your heart with His warmth and peace. I love you deeply, and I thank God every day for the blessing of you. Good night.
  

• Tonight I whisper a prayer for you into the quiet of the night. That God will bless your sleep, guard your heart, and meet you in your dreams with His overwhelming love and grace. Good night, my precious love.
  

• I pray that God gives you rest so deep and so complete that you wake up tomorrow feeling like a brand new man, full of energy and ready for every good thing He has planned for your day. Good night, my love.
  

• May God’s peace, which is greater than anything our minds can understand, settle over you tonight like a warm blanket and carry you gently through until morning. Sleep well, knowing you are prayed for and deeply loved.
  

• Good night, love. I am thanking God tonight for your kind heart, your strong spirit, and the beautiful way you love the people around you. May He bless you tonight in the same measure that you bless others every single day.
  

• I pray that as you sleep, God speaks to your heart and reminds you of His plans for you; plans full of hope and a future beyond what you can currently imagine. You are destined for great things. Good night and God bless.
  

• Tonight I am asking God to be your protector, your comforter, and your rest. May His angels stand guard over you through the night and may you wake up tomorrow wrapped in the warmth of His unending love. Good night, my love.
  

• May God bless the work of your hands, the intentions of your heart, and the dreams of your sleep tonight. You are a man of great worth, and I pray that the Lord reminds you of that tonight. Sweet dreams.
  

• Good night, my love. I pray that God meets you where you are tonight and gives you exactly what you need to wake up tomorrow renewed and full of hope.
  

• As you lay your head down tonight, I am lifting a prayer for you that God’s love washes over you like a wave of warmth and peace, reminding you that you are never alone and always held in His faithful hands. Rest well.
  

• I thank God tonight for the laughter you bring, the love you give, and the light you carry wherever you go. May He bless your sleep abundantly and wake you up tomorrow with a heart overflowing with His goodness. Good night.
  

• May tonight be a night of rest for your body and true renewal for your soul. I pray that God fills your sleep with His peace and your dreams with His promises, and that you wake up tomorrow ready to walk boldly into everything He has for you. Good night.
  

• Good night, my love. I pray that God watches over every breath you take tonight and keeps you safe in the shelter of His love. You mean the world to me, and I am so grateful that the same God who made the stars made you too.
  

• Tonight I am praying for your peace, your health, your happiness, and your dreams. I am praying that God reminds you in the stillness of the night that He is with you always, in every season and every circumstance. Sleep well, my love.
  

• May God’s grace be the last thing on your mind as you drift off to sleep tonight and the first thing you feel when you open your eyes in the morning. You are a man deeply loved by God and completely adored by me. Good night.
  

• As this day comes to a close, I want you to know that I have prayed for you tonight with a full and grateful heart. May God honour every good thing you have done today, bless your rest tonight, and lead you into an even better tomorrow. Good night, my love.

ALSO READ: 150+ Love and Trust Messages for the One You Love

Heart-Touching Good Night Love Message for Him

On the nights when you want to express your feelings in the most sincere and moving words, a heart-touching good night love message for him will get the job done. 

• There are moments in life that redefine everything, and meeting you was one of them. I didn鈥檛 know how much my heart had room for until you walked in and filled every corner of it. Good night, my love.
  

• I want you to know that on the days when you feel like you are not enough, you are more than enough to me. You have always been more than enough. Good night, baby.
  

• Sometimes I look at you and feel this overwhelming wave of emotion. It is somewhere between gratitude, wonder and a love so deep I can’t fathom. Good night to the man who moves me without even trying.
  

• You have loved me through seasons that I was not sure I would survive, and I will never forget that. Not tonight, not ever. Good night to the man whose love has been my shelter in every storm.
  

• I think about the version of me that existed before you, and she had no idea what was coming. She had no idea that love could feel this safe or this real. Good night, love. You have given me something I will treasure for the rest of my life.
  

• There is a particular kind of heartache that comes from loving someone so deeply that missing them feels like physical. That is what I carry every night we are apart. I don鈥檛 mind it though, I carry it gladly because it means I found something real with you. Good night, my love.
  

• You are not just the person I love, you are the person who taught me what love is actually supposed to feel like. Patient, consistent, kind, and completely without pretence. Good night to my deepest love.
  

• I hope you never go to sleep doubting your worth, because from where I stand you are one of the most valuable people on this earth. Not for what you do, but for who you are at your very core. Good night, my irreplaceable one.
  

• Loving you has healed parts of me I had stopped believing could be healed. You came into my life with a gentleness that I was not prepared for, and slowly, quietly, you made everything whole again. Good night, I love you more than words can say.
  

• There are nights when the weight of how much I love you is almost too much to hold. I am lying here with a heart so full of love it could burst. Sweet dreams, my everything.
  

• I never want you to wonder if you are loved, not even for a single second of a single night. You are loved with everything I have, everything I am, and everything I hope to become. Good night, babe.
  

• You have shown me that the best kind of love is not the kind that sweeps you off your feet, but the kind that quietly stands beside you and refuses to leave. That is what you are to me. Good night, my steady, faithful love.
  

• Tonight I am thinking about every hard moment you have walked me through without ever making me feel like a burden. That kind of love is so rare that most people spend their whole lives searching for it. I found it in you, and I will never stop being grateful. Good night.
  

• If I could give you one gift tonight it would be the ability to see yourself through my eyes. To see how extraordinary you are, how deeply you are loved, and how completely your presence has shaped my life for the better. Good night, my love.
  

• You came into my life at a time when I had almost convinced myself that the kind of love I wanted did not exist. You proved me beautifully wrong, and I have never been happier to be wrong about anything in my entire life. Good night, my beautiful man.
  

• I think the truest measure of love is not how you feel on the good days, but how you show up on the hard ones. By that measure, your love for me is one of the greatest I have ever witnessed. Good night, my baby.
  

• There is a softness in my heart that was not there before you, a gentleness that you drew out of me without even trying. You make me a better person just by loving me, and tonight I am so deeply moved by that gift. Good night, my love.
  

• I want you to know that the memories we have made together are some of the most precious things I own. On the nights when the world feels heavy, I go back to those memories and they hold me up. Good night, love.
  

• Somewhere along the way, home stopped being a place and started being a person, and that person is you. No matter where I am in the world, if you are there, I am home. Good night to my home, my heart, my everything.
  

• I don鈥檛 say this enough, but watching you navigate life with the grace and strength and kindness that you do genuinely inspires me. You are more remarkable than you realise, and I am so proud to love you. Good night, my incredible man.
  

• There are loves that pass through your life like seasons, and then there are loves that become the climate; the constant backdrop against which everything else happens. You are the climate of my life, and I cannot imagine the weather without you. Good night, my constant.
  

• You are worth every bit of love that has ever been given to you, and so much more. Do not let the world convince you otherwise. Sleep tonight knowing that you are worthy of all the love you receive. Good night.
  

• The night is quiet and still, and in this stillness I feel the full beauty of loving you. It is the kind of love that makes you grateful to be alive, grateful to have a heart capable of feeling something this extraordinary. Good night and thank you for making me feel alive.
  

• I think about all the people who search their whole lives for what we have, and my heart overflows with gratitude. What we have is not ordinary. It never has been. Good night, my extraordinary love.
  

• You have carried me in ways you probably do not even know about; through your words when I needed to hear the right thing, through your silence when I needed space, and through your presence when everything else fell away. Good night, baby, you hold me up.
  

• Every scar I carried before you has been met with such tenderness by your love that they barely feel like scars anymore. You have a way of making the broken parts of me feel like the most beautiful parts. Good night, my gentle lover.
  

• I used to be afraid of loving too deeply because of how much it hurt when things fell apart. Then you came along and loved me so consistently, that the fear just quietly dissolved. I will always love you for that. Good night, my love.
  

• There is a moment every night right before I fall asleep when everything goes still and my heart speaks its truest thoughts, and without fail, every single one of those thoughts is about you. Good night, my darling.
  

• I want to grow old with you. I want to sit with you in the quiet of our later years and look back on a life so full of love that we can hardly believe it was ours. Tonight is just one more page in that story, and I treasure it. Good night, my baby.
  

• If I leave this world having loved you well and been loved by you in return, then I will have lived one of the greatest lives imaginable. Good night, my everything.

ALSO READ: Good Night Message To My Love (300+ Options)

Good Night Message to Make Him Fall in Love

If you want to make him smile at his screen, fall in love with you, and drift off to sleep with you on his mind, you need a good night message to make him fall in love. 

• You have been on my mind all day today. I just wanted you to know that you鈥檝e taken over my thoughts before you fall asleep tonight. Good night, and sweet dreams.
  

• There is something about talking to you that makes the rest of the world fade into the background, and I find myself looking forward to it more than I probably should admit. Good night, handsome.
  

• I hope you know that you are the kind of person who makes an impression without even trying. The kind that stays with a person long after the conversation ends. Good night.  I’m still thinking about ours.
  

• I was going about my evening completely fine until you crossed my mind, and now here I am, smiling at my phone for no reason at all. I hope you’re happy with yourself. Good night.
  

• There is something so quietly magnetic about you that I am not sure I can explain it, but I feel it every single time we talk. I just wanted you to know that I can鈥檛 get you off my mind. Sweet dreams.
  

• You have completely ruined my ability to have a normal conversation with anyone else, because now everyone else just feels a little less interesting by comparison. Good night, babe.
  

• I keep replaying the last conversation we had, finding little things in it that make me smile all over again. You probably did not even realize you did that. Good night, love. You’re something else.
  

• I hope your dreams are as warm and fuzzy as the feeling I get every time I see your name light up my screen. Good night, and just so you know, it always makes me smile.
  

• I am not usually someone who sends good night messages, but something about you makes me want to reach out. I like you a lot. Good night, darling.
  

• There is a kind of person who changes the atmosphere of a room simply by walking into it. You are that person, and I don’t think you have any idea. Good night to you and your magnetism.
  

• I think what draws me to you is the way you are so completely, and unapologetically yourself. It is one of the most attractive things a person can be. Good night, love. Stay exactly as you are.
  

• You somehow manage to make me look forward to tomorrow simply because there is a chance I might get to talk to you again. I miss you as soon as you鈥檙e out of my sight. Good night, love.
  

• I have been trying to figure out what it is about you that I find so captivating, and I think I have landed on the fact that it is everything. Just, everything. Good night, babe.
  

• You have this rare ability to make a person feel genuinely heard and genuinely seen, and I hope you know how powerful that is. Good night, talking to you is one of my favourite things.
  

• I want you to know that the way you think, the way you express yourself, the way you move through the world is all incredibly attractive to me. Good night, babe.
  

• You live in my thoughts rent free and show absolutely zero signs of moving out anytime soon. I have decided I do not mind at all. Good night, lover.

• There is something about the way you make me laugh that I cannot stop thinking about. It’s effortless and genuine and it makes me want to be around you all the time. Good night, babe. You’re dangerously good company.
  

• I hope you fall asleep tonight knowing that somewhere out there, someone thinks you are one of the most interesting, compelling, wonderful people they have ever come across. That someone is me. Good night.
  

• Every time I think I have figured you out, you say or do something that surprises me all over again. I love that about you more than I can say. Good night to my favourite mystery.
  

• There is something about the way you look at things that makes me see the world a little differently, and I find that irresistible. Good night.
  

• I am going to sleep tonight thinking about the version of us that could exist if we let it, and I have to say, it鈥檚 a very good thought to fall asleep to. Good night.
  

• You make me want to be more honest, more open, and more brave than I usually let myself be. That kind of influence is rare and I love it. Good night, king.
  

• I find myself saving things during the day because I want to share them with you. I am not sure when that started happening, but I don鈥檛 want to stop. Good night.
  

• There is a warmth to you that I feel even through a screen, even across a distance, and it is one of the most comforting things I have experienced in a long time. Good night, sleep well.
  

• The most attractive thing about you is the way you love the people in your life. Watching someone care deeply and without apology is one of the most beautiful things in the world. Good night, beautiful soul.
  

• You made me realize that butterflies are not just for teenagers,  apparently they are also for people who should know better but cannot help themselves around the right person. Good night, babe.
  

• I hope you dream of something wonderful tonight, and I hope that when you wake up tomorrow, the first thing that comes to mind is the fact that someone out here thinks you are absolutely extraordinary. That someone will be me. Good night.
  

• Somewhere along the way you went from someone I know to someone I could not imagine not knowing. Good night, babe.

ALSO READ: The 10-Second Text That Will Make Him Smile For Hours (200+ Options)

Good Night Message to Make Him Smile

Lift his mood tonight with a good night message to make him smile. These are great for making him laugh, and reminding him what a joy it is to have you in his life. 

• You have no idea how often you pop into my head uninvited, set up camp, and refuse to leave. I have stopped trying to evict you. You win. Good night.
  

• I just wanted to remind you that someone out here thinks you are pretty great before you fall asleep tonight. That someone is me. You’re welcome. Good night.
  

• Good night! I hope you dream of something amazing, like finding money in an old pocket. You deserve life’s greatest pleasures.
  

• I was going to let you sleep without texting, but then I thought about how much you would miss hearing from me and decided I simply could not do that to you. You’re welcome. Good night.
  

• Good night, lover. You make doing absolutely nothing together feel like the best possible way to spend time. Can鈥檛 wait to spend more time with you.
  

• Just a reminder before you sleep that somewhere in this world there is a person who genuinely lights up when they see your name on their screen. Tonight that person is aggressively thinking of you. It鈥檚 me. Good night.
  
  
• Good night. Think about me before you drift off to sleep. I鈥檓 doing the same here.
  

• The audacity you have to be this charming without even trying should honestly be studied by scientists. Good night, my darl.
  

• I was today years old when I realized that my favourite notification is any message from you. Congratulations on this achievement. Good night, champion.
  

• Good night, baby. You somehow always knows the right thing to say to make me feel special. I love that about you. Sleep well.
  
• I hope you have the most wonderful sleep tonight, full of dreams where everything goes your way. Good night, king.
  

• Just sliding into your notifications one last time before bed to remind you that you are one of my favourite people on the planet. The competition was stiff but you pulled ahead. Good night.
  

• I hope tonight treats you as well as you treat everyone around you, which means tonight should be absolutely wonderful to you. Sleep well, darling.
  

• You are one of those people who makes life genuinely more fun, and the world needs more of that. So thank you for existing. Good night.
  

• You live in my head rent free. I cannot stop replaying all your conversations like a favourite playlist. I genuinely do not mind one bit. Good night, babe.
  

• I hope your night is so peaceful that you wake up tomorrow feeling like an entirely new and upgraded version of yourself. Good night.
  

• Good night! I could say something deep and meaningful right now but instead I just want you to know that you make everything more fun and that is honestly one of the best things a person can be.
  

• Just a small good night message to remind you that someone spent a portion of their evening thinking about how great you are. I am that someone. My time was well spent. Good night.
  

• You made me realize that the right person does not drain your energy, they replenish it. I appreciate that about you. Have a great night.
  

• I hope your dreams are so wonderful tonight that you wake up tomorrow still smiling about them, and then I hope you tell me every single detail because I love hearing your voice. Good night.
  

• Good night, babe. You鈥檙e my favourite person to talk to, think about, and generally have in my life. Sleep well.
  

ALSO READ: 150+ Heartfelt Prayers for Your Boyfriend

Long-Distance Good Night Message for Him

Bridge the distance separating you with a long-distance good night message for him. These will remind him that no amount of distance can weaken what you share. 

• At the end of every day, all I want is to be close to you, and the miles between us feel realer than ever. But then I remember that every night we survive apart is one night closer to the mornings we will share together, and suddenly the distance feels a little more bearable. Good night, my love. I am with you in every way that matters.
  

• I used to think distance was just a geographical thing, but loving you from here has taught me that distance is also the space between one heartbeat and the next when I miss you, and tonight that space feels very wide indeed. Good night, my love. I鈥檓 looking forward to seeing you again.

• Some nights, like tonight, all I want is to reach out and touch you. Instead, I鈥檓 reaching out to you with my love. Good night, my love.
  

• Even though we are not in the same place tonight, we are under the same sky, breathing the same air, and thinking of each other at the very same moment. Good night, my love. We鈥檒l be together soon.
  

• Every night that I spend without you beside me is a night I add to the list of reasons why I cannot wait for this distance to be behind us. Good night, my love. You are worth every single night of waiting.
  

• I miss you tonight in a way that is almost overwhelming, and yet it is also one of my favourite feelings, because it is a direct measure of how deeply I love you. Good night from across the sea, my heart.  I feel you even from here.
  

• I have been sitting here thinking about all the little things I would be doing if you were here right now, and the conversations we would be having. I cannot wait to be with you in the same room. Good night, my love. Our time is coming.
  

• Tonight I am going to close my eyes and imagine that you are right here beside me, and I can feel the warmth. It is not the same as the real thing, but it is enough to carry me through until I get to have the real thing again. Good night, my love.
  

• I find myself doing the math every night; calculating the hours between us, the time zones that separate us, the days left until I get to see your face again. Tonight the numbers feel large but my love for you is larger, and that is what carries me through. Good night, my love.
  

• There is a particular kind of loneliness that comes not from loving someone who is too far to hold. I know that loneliness well, and I feel it tonight more than most. But underneath it is something stronger: the certainty of us and what we鈥檝e built. Good night, my love.
  

• The distance has never once made me question my feelings for you. If anything, it has clarified them. It has shown me exactly what I am willing to do for love, exactly how far I am willing to reach, and exactly how certain I am that you are the one worth reaching for. Good night, my love.
  

• Some nights, the distance between us feels like a cruel joke, like the universe is testing just how serious I am about this love. And every night I pass the test, because I choose to love you anyway, across every mile, through every time zone, in spite of every inconvenience. Good night, my love.
  

• I have started to believe that missing someone this much is actually a form of love in itself. It is active and present and full of longing, and it reminds me every single night why I am doing this, why the distance is worth it, and why I would rather love you from far away than not love you at all. Good night , babe.
  

• The nights are the hardest part of long distance. The days stay busy enough to keep missing you at bay, but the nights are quiet and make room for all the longing to rush in. Tonight I am sitting with it, because missing you this much means loving you this much, and I would not trade that for anything. Good night, my love.
  

• I have a ritual every night before I sleep. I think about the last time I saw you, replay it in my mind in as much detail as I can, and hold onto it like something precious. Then I think about the next time I will see you, and I let that thought carry me into sleep. You are my last and best thought every single night. Good night, my love.
  

• Every message means more, every call matters more, every visit is treated like the gift it truly is. In that way, loving you from far away has made me a more grateful and more deliberate person, and I think that is something worth holding onto even when the distance is finally behind us. Good night, my love.
  

• I keep a mental list of all the things I want to do with you the next time we are together; places I want to take you, things I want to show you, moments I want to recreate with you. That list keeps growing every night, and by the time I see you again it is going to be the most wonderful list in the world. Good night, my love.
  

• Tonight the stars feel like a comfort to me because I know you can see them too, from wherever you are. The same sky stretches over both of us, indifferent to the miles, and somewhere underneath it you are getting ready to sleep just like I am. T. Good night from under our shared stars, my love.
  

• I want you to know that every sacrifice this distance asks of us is one I make willingly, because what waits on the other side of it is a life with you, and there is nothing I want more than that. The miles are temporary. What we have is not. Good night, my love.
  

• I think one of the most romantic things in the world is two people who refuse to let distance define the boundaries of their love. Who choose each other across time zones and miles and all the inconvenience that comes with it. That is what we are doing, and I am so proud of us for it. Good night, my love.

• There are moments during the day when I forget about the distance, when I am laughing at something you said or looking forward to our next call, and in those moments everything feels completely normal and right. Then the night comes and reality settles back in and I feel the distance all over again. But even then I feel lucky to have something worth missing this much. Good night, my love.
  

• On the nights when the distance feels too heavy, I remind myself of every moment that proves this love is real; every late night call, every vulnerable conversation, every time you showed up for me even from far away. Those moments are my evidence and my anchor. Good night, my heart. Our love is the realest thing I know.
  

• I fall asleep every night thinking about the life we are going to have when the distance is finally behind us. I think about the ordinary mornings and the lazy weekends and the quiet evenings that will no longer have to be described over the phone. Good night, my lover.
  

• The miles between us have never once made me love you less. If anything, they have made me love you with a kind of fierce and deliberate intensity that I am not sure I would have found any other way. Distance did not weaken this love, it made it into something unbreakable. Good night, my darling.
  

• Tonight I am lying here in the quiet, thinking about you the way I always do at this hour, and I am struck by how fully you have become part of my daily life despite not being physically present in it. You are in my mornings and my evenings, in my laughter and my thoughts, in every part of my day. Distance has taken many things but it has not taken that. Good night, my sweetheart.
  

• Every good night message I send you across this distance is a small act of love, a deliberate reaching across the miles to say I am here, I am yours, I have not forgotten, and I am not going anywhere. I will keep sending them for as long as it takes, because you deserve to be reminded every single night. Good night, my love.
  

• The day will come when we no longer have to say good night across a distance, when good night simply means turning off the light and reaching for each other in the dark. I dream of that day constantly and I know when it comes, it鈥檒l be worthwhile. Good night, my love.

ALSO READ: 150+ Romantic Good Night Messages For The One You Love

Dami* (31) thought she was finally giving love another chance after three years of being single when she met Dare*(32) on Bumble. But what started as a hopeful relationship quickly turned into a cycle of financial struggle, manipulation and emotional exhaustion. 

For Sunken Ships, she shares why she ignored the red flags, what it was like dating a manipulator, and the moment she realised she couldn鈥檛 build a future with him. 

How did you meet?

We met on Bumble early in 2024. We talked briefly, and when I told him I was deleting the app soon, he asked for my number. I obliged.

Why did you give him your number?

I鈥檇 been single for almost 3 years at that point, and I wanted to see if he was worth my time, while he wanted to know my values and interests. Chatting with him was a good way to answer the questions we both had.

Was this when you realised you had feelings for him?

No. I didn鈥檛 develop any feelings for him until after we started dating. My friends convinced me to give him a chance because they鈥檇 been trying to get me back into the dating pool since the end of my past relationship.

When did you start dating?

We started dating at the end of February 2024. He unexpectedly came through for me by helping me pay off an urgent loan when I needed it, which solidified my decision to give our relationship a shot.

What were the early days of your relationship like?

They were a mix of good times and shege. Dare was a freelance photographer with an inconsistent income. We basically moved in together and were squatting wherever we could find.

Ah. Why?

I had a female muslim cousin sharing my room with me, so he couldn鈥檛 move in with me. He didn鈥檛 have a stable income to afford rent, so we sometimes had to share with other people.

Okay. Did you notice any red flags at the start of your relationship?

Looking back, I noticed so many, and I beat myself up for ignoring them. His lack of a job, his random jealousy, his lies, and many more red flags were obvious from the start, but I wanted to give our relationship a chance.

When did the problems in the relationship become difficult to ignore?

Our issues became glaring when we moved to Ibadan together in May 2024.

Tell me about that.

An older female friend of mine got Dare a job and allowed us to squat in her house while we saved up for our own rent. It was inconvenient, but we didn鈥檛 have a choice. My biggest issue was how Dare would constantly complain about how stressful our situation was.

It must have been discouraging.

It was so discouraging. I told him to start sleeping at work to help us save rent a little faster, but his complaints got worse. He said the stress was overwhelming and constantly complained about the mosquitoes as if I was having a better time. 

What were you doing?

I was a freelance writer constantly hunting gigs, but my income was more stable than his.

Did you try to speak to him about his behaviour?

Yes, I even asked our host to speak to him, but he didn鈥檛 improve. He would get so upset that he would punch the walls. Our host had to threaten him before he stopped.

Whoa. That鈥檚 wild. What happened next?

In November, an old boss invited me to lunch at the eatery where Dare worked. When I told him, he flared up and said his coworkers would think my old boss was my sugar daddy.

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That鈥檚 a reach.

Even wilder, he proceeded to ignore me for three days after the lunch.

Ah. What did you do when he ignored you?

I broke up with him as soon as I realised he was trying to mess with my head. I also stopped squatting with him and moved back to stay with my cousin.

How did he react?

He begged me to change my mind. In fact, he begged me with gifts and words until April 2025. When I finally agreed to give him another chance.

How did your second go at a relationship with him go?

It was just as bad as the first time. I was on edge the entire relationship, afraid of what nonsense he would send my way. We were always arguing over one thing or another.

What was the final straw for you?

When we got back together, he was talking about wanting to marry me and have kids with me. Then he suddenly changed his mind.

Do you know why?

He told me one of his coworkers鈥� marriages ended suddenly when his wife walked out on him, and that gave him cold feet. 

Aw, that鈥檚 sad.

I wouldn鈥檛 have been that upset if he hadn鈥檛 begun pushing for us to start having kids out of wedlock with no stable income or housing. 

Ah, that鈥檚 a crazy ask.

Exactly. That鈥檚 when I realised he wasn鈥檛 the one for me. In October 2025, I ended things permanently. I couldn鈥檛 continue pretending that we could work out.

How did he take the split?

He went silent on me. When we first broke up, I would send him job applications I thought would be a good fit for him, but he didn鈥檛 even thank me or reach out to me on my birthday. I stopped sharing them after that.

Do you miss him?

No, I wish we had broken up sooner. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Would you be open to reconciliation if he reached out to you again?

I don鈥檛 even want to see him again, let alone date him. Let everybody be in their own corner, please.

鈥淚 waited for my friend to tell me she got married鈥� 鈥� Bambi*, 26, F

鈥淎 close childhood friend got married in secret last year. I found out months later through some gossip. Meanwhile, throughout that time, we still hung out often and spent time together, but she never mentioned her marriage.

I gave it some time after I found out, hoping she鈥檇 tell me about it, but she didn鈥檛. We started drifting apart because I couldn鈥檛 stand seeing her and not raising the issue, but I didn鈥檛 want to outrightly confront her about it. Her anniversary came around, and I didn鈥檛 say anything about it. She asked me why I didn鈥檛 post her, and I asked if she had told me she was married. I got no response, and there has been radio silence between us ever since.鈥�

鈥淚 stopped sharing personal things with my friend鈥� 鈥� Daniel*, 35, M

鈥淎 few years back, my friend made a joke about my finances in front of a group of people during a hangout. Everyone laughed, and I laughed too, but I was deeply embarrassed because at the time, I was the lowest earner in the group.

I didn鈥檛 say anything that day because I hate conflict and didn鈥檛 want to make the atmosphere uncomfortable. But after that, I stopped telling him personal things. We鈥檙e still friends, but there鈥檚 definitely a lot more distance between us.鈥� 

鈥淚 got sick, but she didn鈥檛 help鈥� 鈥� Naomi*, 23, F

Once on my way back from school, I fell terribly ill. I had to stop by our local shop to buy foodstuff for my roommate and me. By the time I got to the shop, I could barely hold my head up. I called my roommate to come and meet me at the shop and help carry the items since we lived close by. She refused, saying that she was too lazy to go outside. I ended up carrying everything back home by myself. That single incident made me realise the kind of person she was.

However, I acted like I wasn鈥檛 upset and it never happened. I didn鈥檛 raise the issue, I just kept my distance, and she did the same.鈥�

鈥淚鈥檒l never lend him money again鈥� 鈥擵ivian*, 30, F

鈥淥ne of my closest friends owed me money for more than a year. Anytime I thought about bringing it up, I鈥檇 start overthinking and convincing myself I鈥檇 sound desperate or annoying. So I kept quiet and hoped he鈥檇 remember on his own, but he didn鈥檛 mention the money at all. I began to resent it.  

I noticed that resentment kept building until every time he posted himself eating out or buying new clothes, I鈥檇 get angry. Eventually, I muted him everywhere because seeing his posts irritated me too much. Till today, I haven鈥檛 asked for the money, but I know that鈥檚 the last time he鈥檒l see a dime from me.鈥� 

鈥淚 started hiding my food鈥� 鈥� Mide*, 28, M

鈥淢y flatmate finished the rice and turkey pack I鈥檇 kept in the fridge one night and then still had the audacity to ask me afterwards if I was saving it for later. I was so shocked, but I just laughed and said, 鈥楴o problem,鈥� even though that food was the only thing I was looking forward to after work that day.

Because I hate confrontation, I didn鈥檛 say anything about it. Instead, I started hiding my food like a criminal. I would wrap my takeaway packs with moin moin leaves or in a black nylon before leaving them in the fridge. One day, he asked me jokingly why I kept all my food in black nylons. I lied and told him that it keeps food fresher for longer. Now I have to find a new way to hide my food.鈥� 

鈥淢y sister-in-law and I stopped speaking over a naming ceremony鈥� 鈥� Bose*, 51, F

鈥淢y sister-in-law and I stopped speaking for almost a year because of a naming ceremony. I travelled from Ibadan to Lagos for my niece鈥檚 naming ceremony and realised I wasn鈥檛 even included in anything despite our closeness. I had asked her earlier if I could help with anything, and she said not to worry. Meanwhile, other relatives were given aso-ebi and responsibilities, but no one informed me of anything.

I felt deeply hurt, but instead of asking her about it, I just stayed quiet throughout the event and returned home immediately afterwards. From that day, I stopped calling her often. She later confronted me about becoming distant, and I simply said I鈥檇 been busy. It wasn’t until the baby鈥檚 first birthday came around that we became cordial again. We never actually discussed what happened, though.鈥� 

鈥淚 stopped greeting my neighbour鈥� 鈥� Femi*, 45, M

鈥淚 have a neighbour who constantly parks behind my car despite several indirect hints. I鈥檇 complain to my wife inside the house, but never confronted him directly because I wanted to avoid quarrels in the compound. One morning, I was already late for work and couldn鈥檛 drive out because his car blocked the entrance again.

That day, I became extremely angry. He apologised later, and I said it was fine. But after that, I stopped greeting him and avoided conversations with him entirely.鈥�

鈥淚 had to take on extra work鈥� 鈥� Aisha*, 22, F

鈥淒uring a group project at school, one member consistently submitted their part of the work late, which was holding the whole group back. Instead of confronting her directly, I silently took on her work. I was afraid of calling her out, and I didn鈥檛 want to seem harsh. We completed the project successfully, but I was stressed and built up a lot of anger because she didn鈥檛 pull her weight. She doesn鈥檛 know, but that鈥檚 the reason I don鈥檛 talk to her anymore.鈥�

鈥淚 brought up an old issue months later and lost the friendship鈥� 鈥� Jacob*, 23, M

鈥淚n October last year, I was supposed to meet up with a new friend for the second time. Things didn鈥檛 work out, and she called to tell me she wouldn鈥檛 be able to make it. Unfortunately, this update came two hours after I鈥檇 already been at the location waiting for her.

She gave a shallow apology, and I said everything was okay even though I was still upset. We grew a little distant because of this. A few months later, I tried to reconnect with her and opened up about how I felt about that situation. I thought talking about it several months after it happened would help me get it off my chest and not make her feel defensive, but it totally backfired. She just looked at me like I was crazy for 鈥榢eeping malice鈥� for so long. We don鈥檛 talk anymore.

鈥淚 stopped lending my cousin my things鈥� 鈥� Chika*, 28, F

鈥淢y cousin borrowed one of my wigs for a wedding and returned it in terrible condition, with the lace torn. I was upset because that wig was expensive, but I couldn鈥檛 bring myself to confront her. Instead, I laughed it off when she returned it with her apologies and said, 鈥楴o worries.鈥�
After that, I stopped lending her my things and became protective of my belongings around her. She probably thinks I鈥檓 stingy now, but honestly, I was just avoiding the awkwardness of telling her off for damaging my stuff.

鈥淚 resigned instead of complaining鈥� 鈥� Ifeanyi*, 29, M

鈥淎t my previous job, my manager would constantly dump extra tasks on me because she knew I wouldn鈥檛 complain. Meanwhile, other people in the office openly pushed back when they were overwhelmed. I kept accepting everything because I didn鈥檛 want to seem difficult.

Over time, I became exhausted and bitter. The annoying part is that nobody even realised I was angry because I kept smiling through it. I eventually resigned, and during my exit interview, that was the first time anyone heard how frustrated I鈥檇 been.鈥�

READ ALSO: 10 Covenant University Graduates Share Their Most Unbelievable Memory

We asked these Nigerian men what they actually want in relationships, but rarely admit openly. Here鈥檚 what they had to say.

鈥淚 don鈥檛 want to be seen as an ATM鈥�  鈥� Chima*, 33

Though financially successful, Chima struggles to admit that he鈥檇 like to be loved for more than what he can provide.

鈥淚n relationships, I always want to feel like my partner is there for me and not for any other reason. Since I’ve become financially comfortable, I鈥檝e noticed that many women focus on what they think I can provide before they even consider whether they genuinely like me or my personality. 

Don鈥檛 get me wrong, I love spoiling my partner with gifts. But once in a while, I鈥檇 like reassurance that if all the money goes away tomorrow, she鈥檇 still stay by my side. 鈥�

鈥淚 want a partner who won鈥檛 judge my weakness鈥� 鈥� Dimeji*, 29

Dimeji lives with dyslexia, a learning disability which has made him sensitive about how romantic partners view him.

鈥淪chool was always hard for me. I repeated classes several times during my primary school education. My parents tried everything: beatings, lesson teachers, rewards and more, but no matter how hard I tried, words and numbers confused me.

No one understood what was happening until university, when a friend suggested I might have dyslexia. Finally, identifying the problem helped me, but it also became a huge insecurity.

I rarely tell anyone I have dyslexia. I鈥檓 doing well career-wise now, and I鈥檝e learnt to work around it. I prefer voice notes and verbal explanations to long texts, and most people can鈥檛 even tell.

But in relationships, I still struggle with the fear that if I open up about it, the woman will suddenly see me as unintelligent or somehow less capable. So I hide it instead.

I think what I really want is a partner who makes me feel safe enough to be my true self, including the parts I still feel insecure about.鈥�

鈥淚 want to hear more words of affirmation鈥� 鈥� Michael, 22

Michael craves verbal encouragement in romantic relationships but feels embarrassed asking for it.

鈥淚 spent most of my early childhood with my grandmother because my parents were bankers. My granny constantly showered me with praise and encouragement. Anytime she wanted to motivate me, she would recite my oriki or other Yoruba praise poems. 

I didn鈥檛 realise how important that was to me until I left her place for boarding school. Since then, I鈥檝e felt the absence of that kind of support. 

I鈥檇 love for my girlfriend to encourage me in that way, too. Nothing dramatic, just words of affirmation or motivation when she sees me trying or working towards something. But it feels like such an old-fashioned thing to ask for. I don鈥檛 know how to talk to her about it. I鈥檇 rather encourage myself in secret than risk being laughed at.鈥�

鈥淚 want to be chased, too鈥� 鈥� Damilare*, 28

For Damilare, he just wants to feel desired instead of always carrying the burden of 

鈥淭he norm in society is that the man chases the woman. Why can鈥檛 she chase me, too? I鈥檓 a hot cake, too.

It鈥檚 not even about ego. I just want to feel desired by the person I鈥檓 pursuing. The current dating scene now feels like a constant challenge to see who can act more nonchalantly and emotionally unavailable.

I don鈥檛 want aloofness, I want excitement and mutual desire. Chase me, and I鈥檒l chase you back.鈥�

鈥淚 want someone who sees through my pain鈥� 鈥� Shedrack*, 31

Shedrack wishes someone would notice when he鈥檚 struggling instead of waiting for him to ask for help.

鈥淚t鈥檚 difficult to open up when I鈥檓 in pain or need help. I grew up believing that men must always be strong and be the stewards of the home. So, outside that role and admitting vulnerability feels unnatural to me.

 Most people in my life assume that if I鈥檓 quiet, then I must be fine or have everything under control.

It would be amazing to have a partner who鈥檚 considerate enough to notice when things get too heavy for me and help before I reach my breaking point.鈥�

鈥淚 want a woman I can surrender control to 鈥� 鈥� Joshua*, 28

Joshua was taught he always had to lead. Now, he wants to experience a relationship where he doesn鈥檛 always have to.

鈥淚 think many people assume men, especially Nigerian men, always want to lead in relationships. Everywhere you turn, masculinity is tied to control. People expect the man to take charge, make decisions and never appear soft.

But honestly, I鈥檓 tired. Sometimes I genuinely want to switch my brain off and let somebody else take control for once.

I like confident women. Women who are decisive, emotionally assertive and know exactly what they want. 

The problem is that I don鈥檛 even know how to communicate this without being misunderstood. The few times I hinted at it, women dismissed me or assumed I was joking. One ex told me, 鈥淪o you want me to become the man in the relationship?鈥� That comment alone made me retreat into myself because that wasn鈥檛 what I meant.

I don鈥檛 want to stop being masculine. I just want a relationship where I don鈥檛 constantly carry the emotional weight of being ‘the man’ every second of the day. 

I recently joined a BDSM community and learned about doms and subs. It鈥檚 something I want to explore in the near future.鈥�

READ ALSO: What Happens When Your Parents Clearly Have a Favourite Child

鈥淢y parents left me to fend for myself abroad鈥� 鈥� Sindara*, 30, F

Sindara鈥檚 older brother has always been the star child of the family. She shares how her parents鈥� constant doting and his entitlement have driven a wedge between them.

鈥淚 have two siblings, and although my parents love us all, it鈥檚 clear my oldest brother is their favourite.

He was the smartest of us in primary school, so my parents constantly showered him with gifts and affection. The rest of us also got rewarded when we did well academically, so the favouritism didn鈥檛 become glaring until our teenage years.

My immediate older brother and I got sent off to boarding school, but my oldest brother stayed home as a day student because my mum insisted boarding schools didn鈥檛 feed children properly. She couldn鈥檛 bear to send her first son there. 

That preferential treatment made my brother insufferably entitled. He knew he could sway our parents to his side, and he used that power whenever he liked. 

Things became worse after secondary school. The academic gap between us had closed by then, and I got a 75% scholarship to study my dream course in the US. My brother became jealous because he tried and failed to get the same opportunity. He had to settle for a public university in Nigeria.

In 2023, he finally got into a master’s program in the US. My father had to sell some property to pay his fees because he couldn鈥檛 secure a scholarship. His entire program was funded by our parents. Meanwhile, I practically suffered my way through school abroad.

The shared resentment has brought my immediate brother and me much closer, but it has also created distance between the rest of the family and us. These days, I only speak to my parents when I need to send them money, and for my sanity, I only talk to my eldest brother when I need to. 

The worst part is that my brother genuinely doesn鈥檛 think he鈥檚 given special treatment; he thinks it is his right as the firstborn. It鈥檚 very annoying.鈥�

鈥淚 thought my parents didn鈥檛 like me鈥� 鈥擳emitope*, 30, F

Temitope recalls being treated so differently from her siblings that she became independent early on to protect herself.

鈥淚 noticed early on in childhood that my younger sister got treated differently.  I wasn鈥檛 even the first child, but my parents always prioritised her needs over mine.

One moment that stayed with me happened during my third year in university. My phone got stolen, and when I called home, my parents either didn鈥檛 believe me or didn鈥檛 care enough to help. I went three months without a phone until I hustled and bought another one myself.

Meanwhile, when my sister鈥檚 phone went bad, they replaced it within two weeks. Situations like that happened often. I鈥檇 need things for school and not get them, while my other siblings rarely lacked what they needed. Over time, I started believing my parents didn鈥檛 like me as much. 

I love my siblings, but whenever I talk about my childhood,  the repressed memories and the trauma I still carry, they struggle to relate, despite having the same parents.

That experience forced me to become independent very early in life. I hustled to get everything I needed. 

Today, I鈥檓 proud of how far I鈥檝e come. I work,  pay my bills, and I鈥檓 self-sufficient. But I still notice the difference in treatment. There are things my parents still do for my siblings that I know they wouldn’t do for me.

I鈥檝e forgiven them because I believe they raised me the only way they knew how, but there鈥檚 still an emotional gap between us. I call maybe once a week and visit about once a year. 

I can鈥檛 really depend on them emotionally, but I still support them and my siblings however I can.鈥�

鈥淲e鈥檙e cool, but I still resent them鈥� 鈥� Nnadozie*, 34, M

Nnadozie鈥檚 sister was the apple of his parents鈥� eye. He shares what it was like being sidelined for her comfort.

鈥淢y mum babied my younger sister because she was her only daughter after three sons. At the time, it felt normal. She was constantly defended, did fewer chores, and received special treatment because she was the 鈥榖aby of the house鈥�.

A few years ago, I needed money for a project and begged my parents for a loan. They claimed they didn鈥檛 have any money. That same week, they sent my sister almost 鈧�200k for a friend鈥檚 wedding in another state. I was stunned.

Today, we鈥檙e cool, but there鈥檚 still underlying resentment for my parents. I think favouritism harms everyone involved, including the favoured child. One person grows entitled, while others grow up feeling unseen.

Now that I鈥檓 a father, I鈥檓 very intentional about treating my children fairly because I鈥檝e seen how long childhood wounds can survive.鈥�

鈥淚 became a chronic overachiever鈥� 鈥� Timi*, 26, F

Timi says she became obsessed with success and accomplishments because it felt like the only way to earn attention at home.

鈥淢y dad openly preferred my younger brother because he was the child he had after he finally became financially comfortable. The rest of us grew up during the struggling years, but my brother entered the family when life became softer.

The difference in treatment was impossible to ignore. I remember reusing old textbooks and hearing things like, 鈥楳anage this one till next time.鈥� But my brother only needed to mention wanting something once, and it appeared almost immediately.

I don鈥檛 even think my parents realised how obvious it was. He was the youngest, so we all doted on him. But what affected me most wasn鈥檛 the material things; it was the emotional ones. My biggest successes only got me a pat on the back, while his smallest wins were given fanfare.

That environment turned me into a chronic overachiever. I felt like I constantly had to prove myself to get attention. It also sparked unhealthy competition between my siblings and me throughout our teenage years. 

I鈥檓 on good terms with my parents now because I understand they were dealing with their own struggles, too.聽 But forgiveness doesn鈥檛 magically erase emotional distance. Deep down, I know who they love the most. I鈥檝e accepted my ranking for peace to reign.鈥�

鈥淢y mum felt I was stronger than my younger brother鈥� 鈥� Samuel*, 33, M

After losing his father at a young age, Samuel says he was forced into the 鈥榤an of the house鈥� position. 

鈥淚 realised early that my younger brother was the favourite because the rules in our house bent around him. After my dad died, everyone suddenly expected me to become a man overnight. I was only 15. Meanwhile,  my brother, who was 12, still had room to grieve and behave like a child.
One moment I鈥檒l never forget happened during my final year in university. I needed money for my project, but my mum said she was too broke to help. I had to take up a part-time job at a cyber cafe to raise the money myself.

That same week, my brother casually offered to lend me money. I later found out my mum had just bought him a generator for his off-campus apartment because he didn鈥檛 like staying in the school hostel. Mind you, he was just in his first year. 

That moment made me realise I was on my own.

It affected my relationship with my family differently. I didn鈥檛 hate my brother, but I found it hard to forgive my mum for a long time. I withdrew emotionally because I felt she wasn鈥檛 as invested in my success as my brother鈥檚. The upside is that I became extremely independent. Now, as an adult, I never ask her for help. She鈥檚 my only surviving parent, so I still take care of her. But I know she鈥檚 more dedicated to my brother than me, and I鈥檝e accepted it.鈥�

鈥淢y sister is the favourite because she never argues鈥� 鈥� Kehinde*, 31, M

Kehinde shares how his sister鈥檚 agreeable nature made her his parents鈥� favourite and how that has affected their bond.

鈥淚n my family, favouritism was tied to obedience. My sister became the ‘good child’ because she was gentle, religious and never challenged my parents. I was more outspoken, so even when I made valid points, they saw it as disrespect. 

We’re twins, so I think my parents expected us to have similar personalities, too. Ironically, even though she鈥檚 their favourite child, I’m still her favourite person.

The difference in treatment became clearer during our NYSC year. I served outside our home state against my parents鈥� wishes and struggled financially in camp. When I called home for help, my dad spent almost 30 minutes lecturing me about becoming a man, listening to my parents and figuring life out myself. 

Meanwhile, my sister, the 鈥榞ood child鈥�, served and lived at home. Anytime my parents gave her money, she secretly split it in half and sent some to me. It drove them crazy.

They accused her of encouraging my rebellious ways, but they could never be mad at her for long. 

My parents and I still aren鈥檛 very close, but my sister and I will always be locked in for life.鈥�

Read Also: Sunken Ships: I Got Stuck In A Love Triangle With My Best Friend 

Ope* (29) and Funmi* met as young Nigerians navigating life in South Africa and quickly became each other’s chosen family until a man came between them.

For Sunken Ships, Ope shares how she became stuck in a love triangle with her best friend, how it eroded their bond and how she鈥檚 coping with the aftermath.

How did your friendship with Funmi begin?

We met at a church program in Cape Town in 2017, but we didn鈥檛 become close friends until 2018. We hit it off when I sent my well-wishes for her mum鈥檚 birthday that year. She invited me to spend the Christmas holidays with her family in Durban, and the rest was history.  We became close from then on.

How close are we talking?

So close that her parents became my South African family. I didn’t usually go home to Nigeria for Christmas because of the costs, so spending Christmas with her family became my new tradition. I was there for three Christmases in a row. Her mum loved me, her sisters knew me, and everyone knew we were close.

How would you describe your friendship with her?

It was rocky, but deep. She was my first call for everything. Even though we had minor disagreements from time to time, I saw her as my best friend.

So what changed?

I started seeing a boy called Emeka*, and that became the beginning of the end.

Tell me about him.

I first met him in August 2018 at a church programme. We got talking, but I was in a relationship at the time, so when he asked me out, I said no and left it at that. Later, I mentioned him to Funmi in passing, and she mentioned she knew of him. 

What did she say?

Their parents were Nigerian pastors who’d been in South Africa for years, and they were close family friends. They’d basically grown up in the same church circles.

Did you notice any red flags when you told her about him?

Honestly? No. I was with someone else. I told her about him the way I’d tell her about any fine man I’d met. I wasn’t pressed at all.

What happened afterwards?

I broke up with my ex in April 2019. Funmi was my go-to person, so I told her. She told Emeka I was single, and the next thing I knew, he was texting me, offering himself as a shoulder to lean on. He was away in Nigeria for his IT year, but we became very close over the phone. I was emotionally vulnerable after my break-up, and he became a safe space for my feelings.

How did things progress between you two?

By August 2019, he was back in South Africa, and we actually met up. I went to Johannesburg to see him, and he came to my city, Pretoria, the following weekend. 

How was that like?

It was amazing. I thought I was really into him at that point and thought I had truly found my person.

So what changed?

In September, Funmi sent me a message to congratulate her and Emeka on spending six blissful months together.

Ah! 

I was so shocked, I couldn鈥檛 believe my eyes. This meant they’d been dating since February. The whole time he was calling me for hours, talking about his feelings, and visiting me, he was in a relationship with my best friend. 

Funmi never mentioned him?

No. She never talked about him. I told her when we were talking, but I never mentioned we were getting emotionally involved. 

Did you ask her why she didn’t tell you?

Yes. Apparently, Emeka told her to keep their relationship lowkey, so she didn鈥檛 tell anyone except their parents. That hurt me because I felt she didn鈥檛 include me on purpose.

Did you tell her about what went down between you and her man?

I struggled with it for a bit, but I knew I couldn鈥檛 let someone I love be with an untrustworthy person. I summoned the courage and told her everything.

What did Funmi say after she found out?

She was also shocked that Emeka had been sneaking around behind her back with me. She said she was going to break things off because she didn鈥檛 want to choose between him and me. It was painful, but I felt we鈥檇 get through it together.

Okay. What happened after that?

She called me back the next day and said she’d realised she loved him too much to break up with him, but she hoped we could all just move forward and leave what had happened behind.

Omo. What did you do?

I was taken aback, but I agreed and promised to be civil with Emeka. Somehow, he used that as an avenue to keep 鈥渃hecking in on鈥� me. I was so emotionally attached to him that I entertained his attentions. I’ll admit that a part of me was hoping he would eventually choose me. Or that Funmi would leave him so he鈥檇 be free to date me. 

Wow. So what finally snapped you out of it?

I went to her family’s house in Durban for Christmas in 2019 because it was our tradition, and she’d insisted things were fine between us. But it was awkward because Emeka was there between us. He would call her often during the day, and I would hear them on the phone together. It made me so jealous and a little crazy.

What did you do?

This is where I admit my own fault. I don鈥檛 know what came over me, but I texted him and told him I still had feelings for him. And that I was willing to wait for him to choose me. He took a screenshot of the message and sent it to Funmi.

Omo! While you were in her house?

Yes, o. It was the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. When she showed me his message, I couldn鈥檛 speak. It was as if the scales fell from my eyes, and all the love I felt towards Emeka turned into hate and disgust. I was angry at him for showing her, but mostly at myself for even being in that situation.

What happened next?

Emeka called and told me I had never stood my ground with him, or  sent him off. That there was never a time I actually said, “We can’t do this.” I hate that he was right, but he was. Funmi said she forgave me. I thanked her for the forgiveness and went home as soon as my flight allowed.

Did you two try to repair things?

We tried. She came to Pretoria later in 2020, and we hung out, but it was the same as before. Then the pandemic kept everyone in their own corner, so there was some relief in that.

What about her relationship with Emeka?

Around April 2020, Funmi called me to say Emeka had broken up with her in February, having fallen for someone else. A mutual friend of ours. It drove her into a depression. I felt sorry for her, but I also felt this terrible helplessness because I had cut off my friendship with her specifically so she could have a clean relationship with this man, and he left anyway. 

What was your friendship with Funmi like after this?

We became distant, but we still spoke once in a while. I even asked her to be my chief bridesmaid when I got married in 2022. The wedding was in Nigeria, but she didn鈥檛 come because her parents said Nigeria was too unsafe. 

I see. What was your final straw?

When Funmi chose to stay with Emeka rather than leave him, I lost some of the respect I had for her. But the final straw came when Funmi was getting married.

Tell me about that.

I received a general invitation in March 2023. No ask to be a bridesmaid, no ” I want you involved.” I waited because I thought she would ask me to be a bridesmaid. She never did

Oh wow. Did this hurt?

It was painful because when we were still close, we had promised to serve on each other鈥檚 bridal trains. I really wanted to support her when she finally found love. By August, when she still didn鈥檛 ask, I had to make a decision. Was I going to spend over $2,000 dollars on flights and accommodation just to sit in a hall at a wedding where I clearly wasn鈥檛 her friend anymore?

Did you bring it up with her?

I didn’t. I just quietly told her I wouldn’t be able to make it.

What hurt most about this wedding saga?

Aside from excluding me from the fanfare, I found out that she had become close with someone who we both knew disliked me, Rhema*. She even went so far as to make her the chief bridesmaid. That was when I knew that our friendship was over.

What did you do when you found out?

I unfollowed her and deleted her contact. She texted me once she noticed, with a casual “Hey, how are you?” I didn’t reply.

Do you think you would ever reconcile?

No. And not just because she picked both Emeka and Rhema over me. I thought about our friendship for a long time, and realised that even without Emeka, it was probably always going to collapse. If it wasn’t her parents controlling her, it was whoever she was dating, or whoever she’d made her new best friend. I realised Funmi often became whoever the strongest voice around her wanted her to be. 

That must have been a hard pill to swallow.

It was. I spent a lot of time being angry at Emeka, blaming him for the whole thing. But I’m starting to find where Funmi and I, too, were at fault. I miss her, but we鈥檙e better off apart.

And what about Emeka?

He鈥檚 married now and has a daughter with the same woman he left Funmi for. He also went around telling people that I forced myself on him. That I was the reason he and Funmi broke up. This was after I had already left South Africa and gotten married.

I’m sorry, what?

It was so crazy when a mutual friend reached out to tell me. I wished I had his number so I could call him and make it very clear that my name should never come out of his mouth again.

Has this experience made you bitter about friendship in general?

No. I genuinely still believe in beautiful friendships because I鈥檓 surrounded by them. This one just ran its course.

罢丑别听聽is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.聽Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.聽.

Charity* (30) and Patience*(30) met at university and quickly became best friends.

However, after a traumatic experience accompanying Patience to an abortion clinic years ago, Charity refused to go with her a second time, and now her best friend has completely iced her out. When you鈥檙e done reading, you鈥檒l get to decide: Did Charity fuck up or not? 

This is Charity鈥檚 dilemma as told to Betty: 

Patience and I met at university in 2013. We were bunkmates in our first year, and it was as if something magnetic drew us together. We became friends almost immediately.

We shared the same hobbies and interests, so it didn鈥檛 take long before we became friends. Even our families grew close, too. It felt like I suddenly had four parents instead of two. Everywhere in school, people knew us as a pair. We were like sisters.

Because of how close we were, we told each other everything. So in our final year, in 2017, when Patience told me she鈥檇 accidentally gotten pregnant, I knew we had to do something. I couldn鈥檛 imagine the kind of trouble we鈥檇 both face if our parents found out. 

Unfortunately for us, we were sheltered kids who didn鈥檛 even know where to get an abortion, let alone a safe one. It took a while, but after almost two months of anxiety, Patience came bearing good news. Someone had given her a doctor’s number for the procedure. He was expensive, but we pooled our allowances together and managed to raise the money. 

A few days before the procedure, Patience visited me. She tearfully begged me to follow her to the clinic, even though the doctor had told her to come alone. She feared things would go wrong, like the stories we鈥檇 seen on television. I was scared too, but I wanted to stand by my friend, so I agreed. 

It was one of the worst experiences of my life.

The 鈥渃linic鈥� was a family house in a run-down neighbourhood. The 鈥渄octor鈥� looked like a complete quack. He led us into a dark, smelly room and carried out the procedure there. Patience was in so much pain. She squeezed my hand while lying on a wooden bench, and even though I tried to stay strong, I couldn鈥檛 handle her screams. 

The moment the doctor finished, I ran outside and threw up. I was sweating and hyperventilating. When I tried to stand up, I got dizzy and fainted. 

When I woke up, the doctor laughed at me and said I was behaving like an 鈥淥mo butter鈥�. We both left that place shaken. Patience stayed with me for a few days while she recovered, and thankfully, she didn鈥檛 have any complications.

But that experience stayed with me for a long time. I couldn鈥檛 eat or sleep well for weeks. I also had difficulties studying, my grades suffered, and I became scared of hospitals. I never blamed Patience for any of this. I was just glad that we found a solution that didn鈥檛 scatter our lives. Still, the trauma of that experience stayed with me for a long time.

Over the years, Patience and I have maintained our close friendship, even as we embraced adulthood. However, something else is threatening to undo decades of friendship and sisterhood.

In late April, told me she was pregnant again, and she didn鈥檛 want to keep it. I was worried, but I supported her decision. Then she asked me to accompany her to an abortion clinic again.

I immediately declined. Even while we discussed it, I could feel myself getting dizzy and sweating, despite sitting in an air-conditioned room. Patience begged me profusely, but I explained that I genuinely couldn鈥檛 handle being in that kind of situation again. 

I thought once I explained how badly the first experience affected me emotionally and mentally, she鈥檇 understand. Instead, she got upset and said she always knew I鈥檇 secretly judged her for the first abortion, and that I wasn鈥檛 as supportive as I liked to think I was. I tried to reason with her, but we couldn鈥檛 get on the same page.

Since then , she hasn鈥檛 spoken to me, responded to messages or taken my calls. Whenever our parents ask after her, I lie and say she鈥檚 fine. But honestly, apart from what she posts on her stories, I don鈥檛 know how she鈥檚 doing. 

I have no one to talk to about this because I don鈥檛 want her business turning into gossip. 

Still, a part of me wonders if  I was wrong for refusing to heed her request. Did I fuck up?

Read Also: Na Me F– Up? I Refused to Attend My Bestie’s Wedding

Cassy* (30) thought she鈥檇 found something real when she met Dimeji* (31) shortly before the lockdown. What started as constant texting quickly became a serious relationship. But a visit to his place uncovered a shocking secret that made her question everything she thought she knew about the man she loved.

For Sunken Ships, Cassy talks about the moment his lies unravelled, and why she left without looking back.

How did you meet Dimeji?

I met him at a picnic in Ibadan shortly before the 2020 lockdown. We got paired to play a game, and after we won, we exchanged numbers and started texting regularly.

When did you realise you had feelings for him?

I noticed my feelings for him had changed shortly after we got into the habit of texting every day. He was handsome and charming, so it didn鈥檛 take long before I started looking forward to his messages.

Did the lockdown have any influence on your relationship?

It had a huge impact. I lived in Ibadan while Dimeji was based in Lagos, and after we went into lockdown, he became my closest online companion. I lived alone, and on several days, he was the only one I spoke to. We became close friends during that period.

Did you tell him about how you felt?

Yes, but only after he confessed his own feelings to me in June of 2020. We agreed that he鈥檇 visit me in Ibadan as soon as restrictions were lifted.

How did that visit go?

It was as wonderful as I imagined. We spent a whole weekend at my place just sleeping together and watching movies. 

Was that when your relationship became official?

Yes. He told me he saw a future with me and asked me to be his girlfriend that weekend in August. I was already deep in my feelings for him, so of course, I said yes.

What were the early days of your relationship like?

They were great. We talked every single day. He was also generous and attentive. I thought I had found my last bus stop.

What changed?

In February 2021, I had to go to Lagos for an embassy appointment. I figured I would stay at my man鈥檚 place to save money on hotel costs. But when I told him about my trip a week ahead, he said I wouldn鈥檛 be able to stay with him because he had a friend squatting in his apartment. He offered to cover some of the hotel costs instead.

What happened after that?

It was fine with me, but I still wanted to visit him. Every time we had seen each other, he had come to my place in Ibadan. I knew his address, but I鈥檇 never been to his place, and I wanted to see where he lived. When I suggested this, he turned me down and said we could go out instead.

What did you say to that?

I thought he was being considerate of the friend who was staying with him, which was why he didn鈥檛 want me to visit. So I assured him that I just wanted to know where my boyfriend lived and wouldn鈥檛 make his guest feel uncomfortable. He didn鈥檛 like that.

What do you mean?

It escalated into an argument out of nowhere. He accused me of not listening to him and trying to strong-arm him into doing what I say. I was so surprised at his reaction that I started apologising even though I didn鈥檛 know what I鈥檇 said to set him off.

What happened after the argument?

He became a little distant, but I figured he鈥檇 come around as he did after all our usual fights and continued plans for my trip to Lagos.

Tell me about the Lagos trip.

That was when everything really scattered. I wanted to make it up to Dimeji for upsetting him, so I bought him a pair of headphones he鈥檇 been raving about. I decided I would drop it off at his place with his security guard as a surprise.

How did that go?

After finishing up at the embassy, I went over to his place. There, I met the friend staying with him and tried to drop off the gift. When he asked for my name, I told him to say it was from Dimeji鈥檚 girlfriend. I can鈥檛 explain how I felt when he replied, 鈥淥h, it鈥檚 from Tiwa*?鈥�

Ah, who is Tiwa?

That was my exact question. His friend explained that was the person he knew to be Dimeji鈥檚 girlfriend. I felt my head getting hot and called him immediately.

What did he say?

When I told him I was at his place, he hung up and sent me several angry text messages asking why I didn鈥檛 follow his instructions to stay away. I asked who Tiwa was, and he stopped replying entirely. I tried calling him and texting him, but he didn鈥檛 respond.

Omo. What did you do after that?

I took the gift and went back to my hotel. 

Did Dimeji reach out to you after that?

Yes, that evening, he came over. He immediately started begging and explained that Tiwa was his long-time girlfriend, but he couldn鈥檛 leave her because whenever he tried, she threatened to harm herself. He said he loved me, but we just needed to keep things lowkey till he could safely get out of his relationship with Tiwa

Whoa, that鈥檚 crazy. How did you react to that?

His explanation sounded insane to me. I asked him why he chased me if he knew he was with someone else, and he said he didn鈥檛 want to be without me.

How did this whole ordeal make you feel?

I felt so emotionally drained. It felt like I went from stability in my relationship to utter chaos. It was as if he was trying to manipulate me into becoming an official side chick. I wanted to get away from all the wahala and heal.

How did the conversation with Dimeji end that night?

I broke up with him. I couldn鈥檛 stomach the fact that he鈥檇 been lying to me for the entirety of our relationship. I was so hurt.

What happened after that?

I went back to Ibadan and was determined to move on from him. It was difficult because I had told everyone in my life about him.

Did he ever reach out after that night?

Yes, he did. I blocked him on all our shared social media when I got back to Ibadan, but he started sending me emails instead. He begged me to come back to him and swore he would end things with Tiwa once I did. I never replied to any of them.

Is there any chance you can revive your relationship with him and work things out?

Never. Aside from the fact that he鈥檚 a liar, I can鈥檛 trust him. In mid 2023, I saw he made an engagement announcement. He had proposed to the very same Tiwa he told me he鈥檇 been trying to break up with. That was when I realised he probably never intended to leave her at all.

Ah, that鈥檚 wild.

I was surprised too. But I鈥檓 happy that I didn鈥檛 let myself get tangled up in whatever game he was trying to play with my heart.

Did this affect the way you view love and relationships?

It was a bad experience, but I still believe I鈥檒l find love. However, I will never stay with someone who doesn鈥檛 have the values I respect, like honesty. My ideal person is someone I can completely trust.

Now, with one of those friends鈥� milestone birthday around the corner, Divine has a choice to make: confront them, or disappear without a word. 

This is Divine鈥檚 explanation as told to Betty:

I met Temi* on my first day in JSS 1. We were assigned seats next to each other and became fast friends. Soon, our friend group grew to include two other girls in our set, Deola* and Esther*. We became a popular clique in school, and I saw all of them as my best friends.

All this changed after a mid-term break in SS1. When we resumed, all three of the girls refused to speak to me. I kept asking whether I had done something to offend them, but I was met with silence. Only Temi wrote me a note explaining things. She told me that Esther had convinced the group that I wasn鈥檛 cool enough to be friends with them now that we were seniors.

I felt hurt and confused. I kept thinking about what could have triggered their decision to cut me out. I couldn鈥檛 pinpoint anything, but I couldn鈥檛 help but think about how they had been showing hints of their betrayal a while before taking action. I remembered how they鈥檇 have secret phone calls without me, or how they鈥檇 suddenly change the topic once I walked up to them during break time.

Alone, I withdrew into myself for over a week before they all came to apologise.

They never gave me any concrete reason for how they acted, but I 鈥榝orgave鈥� them because I was desperate for things to return to normal. Still, I never fully trusted them again. This event affected me more than I鈥檇 like to admit. I became a serial ghoster after that. Once I get a whiff of conflict or stress within a relationship, I vanish. Temi and I went to the same university, so we remained close. However, we drifted apart from the other girls who went to other universities.

Temi is turning 30 this June and has decided she wants a big dinner with her closest friends. When she added me to the group, I saw Esther and Deola there. The four of us hopped on a video call and reconnected properly. We decided to revive our friend group since we all live in the same city again. Soon, though, I noticed them moving weird. My work takes me to many events that have celebrities. Usually, I would take Temi with me whenever I had a plus one. Now that we鈥檙e four again, I guess Esther and Deola felt a bit left out since I never offered to take either of them.

In March, I went to another event with Temi. While there, she left her phone with me to go to the bathroom. While I was holding on to it, a bunch of WhatsApp notifications came in from a group chat called 鈥淩eal Sistas -1鈥�. I was curious because the new group chat we鈥檇 created was called 鈥淪istas.鈥�

The messages were from Esther and Deola, and they were making insulting comments about me. Saying that I thought I was better than them. It was as if I got teleported back to SS1, standing on the edge of a group of people I thought were my friends. I read what I could from the notification bubbles and put the phone down. I didn鈥檛 tell Temi what I saw, and I didn鈥檛 change my behaviour towards any of them. The fact that they鈥檙e comfortable saying those things to Temi probably means she鈥檚 saying her own rubbish too.

I can鈥檛 be sure. What I know is that I鈥檓 not dealing with their rubbish at my big age. I plan to ghost them all right before Temi鈥檚 birthday. I鈥檝e been counting down since I read those messages. I will not be there, and I won鈥檛 be telling anyone why. I told my older sister about what鈥檚 been happening, and she thinks I should talk to Temi since we鈥檝e been the closest in the group. She doesn鈥檛 think ghosting is a fair way to treat a friendship that lasted that many years.

I disagree.

I don鈥檛 have anything to say to people who鈥檝e been gossiping behind my back. The day before the dinner, I鈥檓 blocking everyone of them without a word. Thank God I haven鈥檛 paid my share of the contributions.

I know it will probably mar her day, but I don鈥檛 feel bad at all. She has a group chat she can vent to; she鈥檒l be okay.

READ ALSO: Sunken Ships: She Left Me Outside In the Rain