After being pulled closer and pushed away by the woman he considers his forever person, Biodun is left asking himself one question: How many chances are too many when you’re in love? 

How did you meet?

Sharon and I met at a friend鈥檚 wedding in 2024. She was one of the bridesmaids, and I was immediately drawn to her beauty. I introduced myself during the after-party, and our chemistry was undeniable. We started talking afterwards, and I told her from the jump that I was looking for a serious relationship.

What were the early days of your relationship like?

They were amazing. I felt like she understood me better than any of my previous partners. She was a great listener, and I loved spending time with her. One of the things that made me fall so hard was that she鈥檇 made playlists for us to listen to together when she visited. It made me feel like I鈥檇 found my forever person.

Sounds sweet. When did things take a turn?

Everything started when I asked her to marry me in December 2025. I surprised her over dinner, and she said yes without hesitation. I felt on top of the world.

We posted our engagement photos online, I told my family, and I started making plans to formally meet hers and declare my intentions.

At first, they welcomed me with open arms, but it was all a lie. They assumed, because of my last name, that I was related to a wealthy politician. Once they realised I wasn鈥檛, they rejected me and said I wasn鈥檛 good enough for their daughter.

Oh. How did Sharon react?

At first, she stood by me and told her family she wasn’t going to leave me because of their objections. But they threatened to disown her. 

She came back and asked for two weeks to calm everyone down. I gladly obliged, and we took a step back from our relationship.

Those were the longest two weeks of my life. I was anxious the entire time, hoping she鈥檇 come back with a positive response. 

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Did she?

No. Her family still refused to support our union, and she wasn鈥檛 ready to lose them. Then she called off the engagement and ended our relationship. I was devastated.

About a week later, while I was still trying to process everything, she called me crying. She said she couldn鈥檛 live without me and wanted us to get married regardless of what her family thought. I was overjoyed. I immediately told my mother the wedding was back on and invited  Sharon to Ibadan to meet my family properly. That鈥檚 when another problem started.

What happened?

She kept avoiding the visit. Every time we agreed on a date, something happened. Sometimes work came up. Other times, she suddenly had a fever. There was always an excuse.

I couldn鈥檛 understand what was going on. This was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but I suddenly felt like I couldn鈥檛 rely on her word. I loved her and wanted to believe her, but the constant postponements made me question how committed she really was.

Did you tell her how you felt?

I tried to, but she shut the conversation down. Then, for the second time, she ended the relationship. This time, I was angry.

Why raise my hopes again only to crush them? I had to tell my family the wedding was off鈥� again.

They thought I was unserious. I鈥檇 already been getting pressure for marrying late, so cancelling the engagement twice made me look bad. I hated that.

What happened next?

We didn鈥檛 speak again until April.

 She sent me a long message begging for another chance. I was conflicted. I missed her badly, but I couldn鈥檛 bear the thought of embarrassing myself in front of my family if things fell apart again. 

Eventually, I agreed to give the relationship another shot, but this time I kept it to myself. Things picked up from where we left off. She was still sweet, and I felt like I was falling for her all over again. 

I eventually decided to take the risk and tell my family we were back together. Then, in June, she asked for space again.

Again? 

I didn鈥檛 even ask for her reason. I鈥檇 reached my limit. I sent her a nasty voice note calling her a manipulator, and blocked her on WhatsApp. I didn鈥檛 want anything to do with her again.

But did you truly move on?

I wanted to. I focused on my healing for the next couple of weeks, until she sent me a Happy New Month message on Instagram. She apologised again, begged me for another chance and even sent me a written undertaking she鈥檇 signed, promising she genuinely wanted to build a life with me.

I鈥檝e read the message, but I haven鈥檛 replied. One part of me believes she鈥檚 the person who understands me better than anyone else. When we鈥檙e together, everything feels easy.

The other part remembers how many times she鈥檚 made me look foolish and wonders if I鈥檇 be setting myself up for another heartbreak.

So where do things stand right now?

I honestly don鈥檛 know what to do.

I still want marriage more than anything. I just don鈥檛 know if it鈥檒l ever happen with Sharon. She鈥檚 already walked away twice and obviously doesn鈥檛 want this as much as I do.

Read Next: Sunken Ships: I Finally Dated My Longtime Crush, but He Wasn鈥檛 Over His Ex

From couples navigating interethnic marriages to those learning to bridge religious and cultural divides, these stories paint an honest picture of the compromises and commitment it takes to make love work.

鈥淚ntertribal marriage had more challenges than I鈥檇 thought鈥� 鈥� Amaka*, 34, F

I married a Yoruba man and our tribal differences weren鈥檛 much of an issue while we were dating. But after we got married, I spent the first few years of my marriage explaining myself, especially to his family. Our different upbringings led to a few clashes, and I also had a difficult relationship with my in-laws. Thankfully, my husband always stood up for me.

The hardest part has actually been our extended families. Nearly eight years later, relatives still tell me to behave 鈥渓ike a proper wife鈥� according to their traditions. It鈥檚 irritating, but these days, I choose my battles.

鈥淗e wants our child to follow only his faith鈥� 鈥� Aisha*, 39, F

As a Muslim woman married to a Christian man, I thought the difficult conversations would end after our wedding. Instead, it feels like we revisit the same arguments every year.

Before we had our child, my husband promised our kids would grow up learning about both religions. Now he鈥檚 changed his mind. He says he isn鈥檛 comfortable with the idea of our child becoming Muslim.

Those words hurt because I love my faith and I鈥檓 proud of the person it has shaped me into. In the end, we鈥檙e doing things his way. My son goes to church with his dad every week. I still try to read the Quran to him, but he doesn鈥檛 seem interested. 

鈥淚 had to teach my husband to relax about money鈥� 鈥� Tope*, 50, F

I grew up in a wealthy family, while my husband didn鈥檛. We thought love would bridge that gap, but our different backgrounds created tension.

I was raised to spend money on the best and most convenient option. He grew up believing every naira should be stretched because his family genuinely struggled at times.

During the first few years of our marriage, we argued constantly about money. Not because we didn鈥檛 have it, but because we viewed it so differently. I had to teach my husband that he was allowed to enjoy life, especially with the money he鈥檇 worked so hard for. He鈥檚 still careful with money, but we definitely argue about it far less now.

鈥淚 learned it鈥檚 impossible to satisfy everyone鈥� 鈥� Chinedu*, 36, M

I married a Yoruba babe, and the biggest surprise was how political naming our child became.

What should have been a joyful moment almost turned into a war over whose culture would be represented. The pressure from both families became so overwhelming that my wife and I quickly decided to name our child ourselves and deal with the consequences.

My mother still hasn鈥檛 forgiven me, but honestly, I鈥檓 okay with that. They were stressing us out. That lesson has repeated itself throughout our marriage. Sometimes, protecting your peace means disappointing the people you love.

鈥淚 didn鈥檛 know how lonely being the outsider would make me鈥� 鈥� Hadiza*, 46, F

When I married into a family from a completely different ethnic group, I underestimated how lonely it could feel.

There were family gatherings where everyone switched to a language I couldn鈥檛 understand. Nobody was trying to exclude me, but I often felt like an outsider looking in. It took years before I truly felt like part of the family.

Looking back, I wish people talked more honestly about the adjustment period that comes with intertribal marriages. Love helps, but finding your place in a new family takes time.

鈥淢y wife pressured me for years to convert to her religion鈥� 鈥� Pelumi*, 58, M

People like to encourage interfaith marriages, but I think they can be very stressful.

My second wife is a Christian, and she鈥檚 the one I鈥檝e had the most trouble with. She converted a few years into our marriage, which I didn鈥檛 mind as long as she fulfilled her responsibilities as a wife and mother. But for a long time, almost every argument came back to my refusal to convert. It made me regret taking a second wife.

Things eventually settled after I got her a separate apartment. We still argue sometimes, though. A few years ago, she said she and our children wouldn鈥檛 eat Sallah ram anymore because of something her church preached about. That鈥檚 why I always advise people from different faiths to leave each other alone.

鈥淚t was difficult to change how I saw money鈥� 鈥� Kemi*, 41, F

Women are always encouraged to 鈥渕arry up鈥�, but no one talks about how hard it is to shake certain beliefs about money when you come from a different social class.

My husband grew up in a wealthy family where money was always available. I grew up comfortable, but without many luxuries.

Even after we got married and became financially secure, I couldn鈥檛 shake the fear that everything could disappear overnight. He thought I worried too much. I thought he was too carefree.

It took years before I realised we weren鈥檛 arguing about money. We were arguing about the realities that shaped us long before we met. Understanding that changed everything. Now, when those fears creep in, I tell him, and he reassures me that we鈥檒l be okay.

鈥淚 had to distance myself from my family for my wife鈥檚 peace鈥� 鈥� Nnamdi*, 41, M

The hardest part of marrying outside my tribe was how my family treated my wife.

Her Itsekiri family welcomed me with open arms, but my own relatives made me feel ashamed. They did everything they could to exclude her whenever we attended major family gatherings.

Some of them still refer to her as 鈥渢hat girl鈥�, even after more than a decade of marriage. I stopped tolerating it early on and distanced myself from them. We鈥檙e now one of those families that rarely attends extended family events. If they can鈥檛 accept my wife, they don鈥檛 get access to us.

What annoys me most is that they adore our children, who are half Itsekiri because of their mother, but still refuse to fully accept her. It鈥檚 sad, but I think keeping our distance has been the healthiest decision for my family.

鈥淢y in-laws鈥� wealth makes me feel inferior鈥� 鈥� Fatima*, 29, F

I married a man from a much wealthier family, and nobody told me how insecure marrying up could make me feel.

In his family, people casually gift each other expensive things like it鈥檚 nothing. During our first Christmas together, one of his uncles gave us a present worth more than my annual salary at the time. I felt so embarrassed because all we gave him was a bottle of wine and some diffusers.

My husband doesn鈥檛 understand why I鈥檓 so reserved around his family but outspoken everywhere else. It took me a while to realise that I felt insecure because of their wealth. They鈥檝e been nothing but kind to me, but I still sometimes feel like I don鈥檛 belong.

鈥淔or years, I thought I had to prove myself to my wife鈥� 鈥� Dayo*, 63, M

My wife comes from one of the wealthiest families in my village, and I was deeply insecure about it, especially in the early years of our marriage.

Her family was one of the few in town that travelled abroad regularly and sent their children to top schools. They just seemed to move through the world differently. Meanwhile, I paid my way through medical school by doing menial jobs.

After we got married, I constantly felt like I had something to prove. The funny thing is, my wife never made me feel inadequate. She always reassured me, and her father remained generous to her, so we never lacked at home. Most of that pressure came from me. It took years before I stopped comparing myself to her family and started appreciating what I brought to our marriage.

鈥淚 don鈥檛 like the way his family jokes around鈥� 鈥� Chioma*, 32, F

Marrying outside my tribe has come with its own challenges. I love my husband, but his family jokes around more than I鈥檓 comfortable with.

Every time my mother-in-law sees me, she calls me 鈥淥mo Igbo mi.鈥� I don鈥檛 think she means any harm, but every time I hear it, I鈥檓 reminded that I鈥檓 not truly one of them.

These days, I remind myself that what matters most is that my husband respects and values me. That鈥檚 what keeps me grounded.

鈥淎fter getting married, my friends pulled away from me鈥� 鈥� Hauwa*, 35, F

Nobody told me I鈥檇 lose friends after marrying outside my religion.

I expected my family to oppose my relationship with my husband, but I never imagined my friends would slowly distance themselves too.

When I eventually asked some of them why, they said they assumed I鈥檇 converted to Christianity, even though I hadn鈥檛. I didn鈥檛 expect that kind of thinking from people my age who claimed to be open-minded. 

鈥淢y in-laws called me disrespectful鈥� 鈥� Osas*, 31, F

My husband is Yoruba, and I鈥檓 Edo. I don鈥檛 know if it鈥檚 a cultural thing, but I鈥檝e found that Yoruba people are more likely to use euphemisms than speak directly when correcting or disagreeing with an older person.

I鈥檓 naturally a very direct person, and that difference caused a lot of tension when I first got married. My in-laws thought I was disrespectful and stubborn. They were right about the stubborn part, but I never intended to be disrespectful. I simply disagreed and said what I thought.

My husband eventually pulled me aside and explained that wasn鈥檛 how things were done in his family. I had to learn to hold my tongue and let some things go to keep the peace with my in-laws.

鈥淚 converted for my husband, and my family hates it鈥� 鈥� Maria*, 40, F

I converted to Islam so I could marry my husband. He personally had no problem with me remaining Christian, but his family, especially my mother-in-law, strongly opposed it. They insisted the marriage wouldn鈥檛 work unless I converted.

I agreed, but the decision damaged several relationships in my own family. Some relatives distanced themselves from me after my conversion, and a few relationships never recovered. For years, I carried a lot of guilt about that.

Eventually, I accepted that adults sometimes make choices other people don鈥檛 like or understand. My marriage has been worth it, but I wish people were more honest about the sacrifices that can come with choosing love outside familiar boundaries.

Read Next: Married Nigerians on Facing Crisis Together and Choosing to Stay

We asked Nigerians to share the biggest financial sacrifices their fathers made to help them get ahead. Here are their stories.

“My dad emptied his account for my japa plans” 鈥� Bola*, 34, M

After finishing uni, I moved from Ilorin to Lagos to chase my fortune. I thought my engineering degree would open doors for me, but instead, I struggled to make ends meet. I got frustrated and decided to japa through the student route. I was admitted to a master’s program in 2022, but even though I managed to raise some of the money, I didn鈥檛 have enough to cover everything. 

I had already started accepting that I wouldn’t go. I complained bitterly to my parents a few times, and my dad told me not to worry. He said that he would get the money for me. He gave me 鈧�20M to add to my japa funds. It was every single kobo he had saved up. That was the only reason why I was able to go to Canada and start a new life.

Whenever people talk about my success abroad, they see only the result. What they don’t see is the man who bet all he had on the possibility that I might make something of myself. I owe him everything I am today.

“He sold his business equipment to make me happy” 鈥� Adesuwa*, 38, F

My father鈥檚 small printing business was what took care of my family and put me through school. When I finished university and wanted to go to law school, I told my dad I wanted a laptop by all means. I admit that I was a bit bratty about it, but I had been asking for one for the entire time I was an undergrad.

The night before I travelled to law school, my dad came home with a spanking new HP laptop. I was so happy, I almost burst. I didn鈥檛 know until much later, but he had sold one of the machines in his shop to get me the laptop. For months, he made less money because he couldn鈥檛 take on as many jobs. 

When I found out, I was floored. The fact that he went to such lengths just to make me happy is something that I can鈥檛 repay. After I became a lawyer, the very first thing I saved up for was a car for my dad. I would give him the world if I could. He is my rock.

罢丑别听聽is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.聽Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.聽.

“My dad chose my education over his pilgrimage” 鈥� Ibrahim*, 26, M

For years, my father had dreamed of going on a religious pilgrimage to Mecca. It was one of his biggest desires.

The first year he finally had enough money to go was the same year I got admitted into a private university. Without hesitation, he redirected the funds to my schooling. I remember feeling guilty when I found out because I knew how long he had waited. But my father never made me feel like I had taken anything from him. 

He eventually made the trip after I finished school, but I’ll never forget that sacrifice. I know it took a lot for him to postpone something he wanted for so long to keep me in school. I鈥檒l always look up to him for it.

“My father risked his marriage for me” 鈥� Kemi*, 54, F

My biological father died when I was a child, and I was raised by his cousin, whom I saw as my father. I wasn鈥檛 the only distant relative who lived with his family; there were four children in addition to his own three. His wife treated us poorly, especially when he travelled for work. 

Notably, she hated that he wanted all of us to go to school as if we were his children. Of all the kids who lived with his family, I was the best academically and wanted to further my studies at the university. His wife was strongly against it and threatened to pack her things and her children to her family鈥檚 house if he dared to fund me through school. To her, doing so would be taking resources away from their own children, and she wasn鈥檛 going to accept it. She said I should go and get married or start working since I had gotten my WAEC certificate.

My father put his foot down and said he would fund my education to whatever level I wanted. This issue sparked a fight so heated that our Olori Ebi had to step in before things settled down. Ultimately, my father paid for my polytechnic and university education. If not for his insistence on supporting my education, I鈥檓 not sure where I would have ended up. He鈥檚 the reason my life changed for the better.

“He funded my second chance after I wasted the first one” 鈥� Joshua*, 29, M

I got expelled from the first university I attended in my third year because I was caught with weed at school. It was immature and irresponsible of me. My father was disappointed and devastated when he heard. We’d spent a lot of money putting me through private school, and I’d thrown the opportunity away.

That same year, I asked for another chance to go to school. I expected him to say no, but he supported me wholeheartedly. I wrote JAMB again and started over at another university. I was on my best behaviour this time and stayed out of trouble. I鈥檓 glad I made him proud by finishing with a first class. The fact that he was willing to risk more money after I’d already disappointed him is one of the greatest acts of faith anyone has ever shown me. I love him like crazy for it.

We asked these Nigerians to share the wildest financial decisions they鈥檝e ever made for love, and whether they鈥檇 do it again. Here’s what they said.

“I borrowed money from loan apps to impress a babe” 鈥� Deji*, 29, M

I met a beautiful woman at a wedding in 2024. She was three years older, and I desperately wanted her to give me a chance, so I went all out. 

I took her to expensive dinners, rented beach cabins for weekend getaways and cleared her skincare carts. She thought I was spending my 鈥榯ech money鈥� as a software developer, but I was actually borrowing from loan apps to fund the lifestyle.

Then she asked we spend a week in Ghana that December. I checked my account and realised I couldn鈥檛 fake it anymore. I told her no and slowly pulled away. We fizzled out shortly after. It took me eight months to clear the loans. I suffered like mad.

“I funded my man鈥檚 dream to be a star” 鈥� Dunni*, 30, F

Back in uni, I dated an upcoming musician and genuinely believed he was one hit away from success. For almost two years, I paid for anything that would advance his career. I bought beats, paid for studio sessions, and cooked for him so he could focus on the music. At one point, I even changed his wardrobe after someone trolled his outfit at a show. I didn鈥檛 mind that these things swallowed chunks of my allowance and savings because I believed in him.

Three months after we graduated in 2019, he moved to Lagos to pursue his dream and dumped me for another girl. What pains me is that he still hasn鈥檛 blown up. I should have just used my money to eat or save for things that actually benefited me. 

“I flew to Abuja for a situationship” 鈥� Demilade*, 34, M

In 2025, I started talking to this girl who lived in Abuja. We’d never met, but we’d spent months talking on the phone every day. One day, she asked if I was ever going to visit.

The next day, I dipped into my rent savings,  booked a ticket to Abuja and told her I鈥檇 see her soon. I spent a week in Abuja with her, and we had a fantastic time. It honestly felt like the beginning of a relationship. We even talked about me moving to Abuja. Then, on my last night, we hung out with some of her friends, and she introduced me as “my friend from Lagos.” 

That鈥檚 when I knew I鈥檇 misread the signals. When I asked where we stood, she said she wasn鈥檛 looking for anything serious because she wanted to finish her master’s first. I don鈥檛 regret it, but I鈥檓 never booking a flight to see someone who鈥檚 not my official partner again.

罢丑别听聽is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.聽Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.聽.

“I sold my car so we could have a bigger wedding” 鈥� Wale*, 47, M

When my wife and I were planning our wedding in 2014, we鈥檇 saved enough for a modest wedding. But her family insisted on something bigger because she鈥檚 their only daughter. I begged and asked them to scale things back, but they insisted.

Instead of taking a loan,  I sold my car. It was a lovely event, but I couldn鈥檛 afford another car for two years afterwards. Looking back, I have no regrets because it was worth the discomfort for the woman I love.

That said, if my son ever suggests selling an asset for one day’s enjoyment, I’ll personally knock his head.

“I bought aso-ebi for a wedding I wasn’t invited to” 鈥� Loretta*, 28, F

My ex-boyfriend’s cousin got married in Ibadan in 2024. I wanted his family to like me, so I bought the aso-ebi, contributed to the bridal shower, bought a gift and even helped with wedding prep.

A week before the wedding, I asked my ex for affordable hotels in Ibadan. He sounded surprised and said, 鈥榊ou鈥檙e coming? The wedding is only for family and close friends.鈥� 

I鈥檇 already spent almost 鈧�150k. I was so angry. The painful part was that he鈥檇 watched me buy the aso-ebi and contribute to the shower, knowing I wasn鈥檛 invited and never said a word. I still feel foolish when I think about it. It was one of the reasons we broke up. The funny part is his cousin still follows me on Instagram.

“I got into debt taking care of my boyfriend” 鈥� Diana*, 30, F

In 2025, I got into a long-distance relationship with a man who lived in Europe. I鈥檇 always promised I鈥檇 spoil him silly whenever he came to Nigeria. Unfortunately, I lost my job in May. 

He鈥檇 planned to visit in June, and I didn鈥檛 want him to cancel, so I didn鈥檛 mention my unemployment. For two weeks, I paid for meals, bought gifts for him and his family, and made sure he enjoyed every minute of the trip. I spent more than 70% of my emergency funds to keep my promise of giving him a good time. Two weeks after he returned, he broke up with me because I didn鈥檛 have a 鈥榮ubmissive spirit鈥�. I cried for days. Not just because I鈥檇 lost the relationship, but because I burned through money that should鈥檝e kept me afloat while I searched for another job. I can never be that financially reckless for any man again.

READ NEXT: Sunken Ships: I Finally Dated My Longtime Crush, but He Wasn鈥檛 Over His Ex

For Sunken Ships, Tumi opens up about how they met, the intense gut feeling that predicted their end and how she dealt with the painful aftermath.

When did you first realise something was wrong in your relationship with Jacob?

The phone calls. I called him over and over, yet he kept hanging up. That was unusual. We always stayed on the phone until one of us fell asleep, so it was unlike him to avoid my calls. It was the first time it happened, yet that moment was all I needed to accept that something had changed.

Let鈥檚 go back to the beginning. How did you guys meet?

I met Jacob at a party through mutual friends in 2022. We weren鈥檛 close, but we got along whenever we saw each other. I鈥檇 always found him attractive. He was funny, handsome and confident.

The only problem was that he was always with someone, so I kept my crush to myself. Then,  in 2024, he messaged me out of the blue.

He wanted a mutual friend鈥檚 number, but after I shared it, we just kept talking. Before long, we were texting every day and becoming really close.

So, at what point did the relationship stop being platonic?

He started applying pressure. He鈥檇 text me first thing in the morning and call after work almost every day. I enjoyed the attention, but I didn鈥檛 want to read too much into it. 

Then, in August 2024, he admitted he had feelings for me.

Oh.

I told him I鈥檇 liked him for a long time too, but I never said anything because he鈥檇 always been in a relationship. He quickly assured me he was single and asked me to lunch that weekend. Of course, I happily agreed.

How did the date go?

It was everything I鈥檇 imagined it would be. We鈥檇 already built up such a strong rapport over calls and text that meeting in person felt effortless. Our lunch turned into dinner, and I almost didn鈥檛 want to leave at the end of the day.

罢丑别听聽is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.聽Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.聽.

Cute. Was that when you became official?

No, but we kept talking every day, going on dates and spending every weekend together. By the end of September, he asked me to be his girlfriend.

What was your relationship like in the beginning?

It was great. He was attentive, and as usual, we spoke every single day. I only asked that we keep the relationship off social media, but everyone important in our lives knew we were dating. 

 About four months, things started to take a turn. One day, while hanging out with friends, someone asked after his ex. The way he froze made me uneasy. I shrugged it off at first, but soon after, he started acting differently.

What do you mean?

It felt like he鈥檇 deliberately put some distance between us. Whenever I asked what was wrong, he鈥檇 blame work stress, but I didn鈥檛 believe him.

My gut kept telling me something was off, and it was more than just work issues. So I decided to investigate. I searched for his ex on Instagram and noticed she鈥檇 posted photos from places Jacob had been recently. I told myself it was a coincidence, but the feeling only got stronger.

Did you talk to him?

No. I didn鈥檛 want to admit I鈥檇 been stalking his ex online. Instead, I tried to get us back to where we鈥檇 been by asking to spend more time together. But he became harder and harder to reach. 

One evening in January, I called him several times after work, but he kept hanging up. He ignored my messages, too.

When he finally responded, he said he鈥檇 been busy and went to bed early. I accepted his excuse, but I knew something was off. 

He became even more withdrawn, and by the end of January, he ended the relationship.

I鈥檓 sorry. Did he say why?

He blamed work and said he wasn鈥檛 giving me the attention I deserved, so he wanted to step back. 

I was hurt because I felt like I鈥檇 seen the breakup coming. Nothing, however, prepared me for Valentine鈥檚 Day.

What happened?

He posted a photo with his ex at a Valentine鈥檚 Day dinner. I couldn鈥檛 believe my eyes. I stared at it, hoping it was a throwback picture, but after asking around, I found out they鈥檇 gotten back together right after we broke up.

What hurt the most wasn鈥檛 even the photo. It was the caption. He wrote about how he鈥檇 spent all their time apart waiting for her and how nothing else mattered. Was I the 鈥榥othing else鈥�? 

I thought we had something real, but he was just using me to warm his girlfriend鈥檚 seat.

Did you confront him?

I did, and the annoying thing is how honest he was. Part of me almost wished he’d lied. He said he thought the relationship was over when we started dating and that he wanted to move on. But once his ex showed interest in trying again, he realised he still wanted her.

Those words hit my self-esteem like a gut punch. I felt disposable. I blocked both of them everywhere and tried to move on. I feel better now, but those first few days after the split were the roughest.

Could you ever be friends with Jacob again?

I鈥檝e forgiven him, but I don鈥檛 want him in my life anymore. A part of me is still angry because he could have left me alone instead of using me as a placeholder until his ex came back. I don鈥檛 wish him bad, but I want nothing to do with him again.

Has this experience changed how you approach dating?

Definitely. I鈥檝e become more wary of people, but I鈥檓 still trying to keep an open mind. 

I have a strict policy now, though. I don鈥檛 date anyone who has been out of a relationship for less than six months. I never want to be anyone鈥檚 rebound again.

Read Also: Sunken Ships: I Lost My Best Friend After Dating A Woman He Said I Could Have

But one unexpected visit to a friend’s house challenged everything he thought he knew. What started as fear quickly turned into fascination, then a deep love for the animals he’d spent most of his life avoiding. Today, Jason is building a community for cat lovers and working to change how Nigerians see one of the country’s most misunderstood pets.

I鈥檝e always been a dog guy. I grew up in a deeply Pentecostal home where people treated cats with suspicion. If a cat crossed your path, someone would probably pray. So I avoided them completely. I even ran a kennel where I trained, bred and sold dogs.

If you鈥檇 told me I鈥檇 one day become known as Jason the Cat Guy, I鈥檇 have laughed in your face.

But everything changed in 2020.

I鈥檇 gone to visit a new friend, Ayo. We鈥檇 become close, and I was excited to finally see her place. The moment I walked into her house, I froze.

There were cats everywhere; seven of them roaming around the house. My first thought was, These people must be witches.

Then I met Ayo鈥檚 mum. She was warm, loud and incredibly welcoming, but somehow my brain twisted that into even more 鈥減roof鈥� that everything I鈥檇 heard in church about cats was true.

But curiosity is a powerful thing. I couldn鈥檛 stop asking questions. Why so many cats? Why did they all seem so calm? Why wasn鈥檛 anyone afraid of them?

Ayo encouraged me to pet one, but I refused. I stood at a safe distance until one of the cats ignored my fear, walked over, wrapped its tail around my leg and demanded attention.

Ayo found it hilarious. Meanwhile, I was convinced I was seconds away from being initiated into witchcraft.

Then she handed me some cat treats. The moment I started feeding them, something shifted within me. By the end of that visit, I鈥檇 completely forgotten I was supposed to be afraid.

By my third visit, I knew I wanted a cat of my own.

Around that time, Ayo asked if I could help find buyers for some Turkish Angora kittens. Because I鈥檇 already worked with dogs, she thought I鈥檇 know interested buyers.

I honestly didn鈥檛 think Nigerians would pay for cats, so I priced them at a ridiculous sum of 鈧�20K each. I was so wrong. The kittens sold quickly, and talking to the buyers made me realise there was an entire community of cat lovers existing across Nigeria.

That curiosity sent me down a rabbit hole. I started reading about cat breeds, behaviour and care. The more I learnt, the more I realised most Nigerians鈥� beliefs about cats weren鈥檛 based on experience. They came from religion, films and superstition.

In 2021, I got my first cat, Nyssa. She completely changed my life.

She had the biggest personality I’d ever encountered. She was affectionate, but only on her own terms. Some days she鈥檇 curl up beside me asking for attention. Other days she鈥檇 look at me like I was disturbing her peace.

At first, it frustrated me. Eventually, I realised she was teaching me something I鈥檇 never really thought about before: boundaries, consent and respect.

With Nyssa, affection wasn鈥檛 something you could forcefully demand. If she wanted company, she鈥檇 come to you. If she wanted space, she鈥檇 make that very clear. Funny enough, that lesson spilled into the rest of my life. I became more attentive to people, especially women. More aware that not everyone communicates their needs directly.

For a cat, she was an excellent teacher.

For a while, I kept this new side of my life private. Yahoo-boy accusations were everywhere, and I worried people would assume I was into something shady because I loved cats. Even my family didn鈥檛 really understand it. I always had excuses when they invited me out because I wanted to get back home to my cats.

Eventually, people started noticing my connection with cats. Then one day, an Uber driver greeted me with, 鈥淵ou鈥檙e Jason the Cat Guy, right?鈥� Apparently, someone had saved my number that way on Truecaller, and the nickname stuck.

As more people discovered me, cat owners started reaching out. They wanted advice. They wanted community. Most of all, they wanted a space where they wouldn鈥檛 be mocked for loving cats.

So I started a WhatsApp group. Soon, people were sharing stories about neighbours threatening their cats, family members accusing them of fetish practices and landlords refusing to allow pets. What started as a small chat became a genuine community.

Today, my life revolves around cats more than I ever imagined possible. 

They wake me up for breakfast, keep me company while I work and somehow always know when I鈥檝e had a difficult day.

What surprises me most isn’t how much I’ve learned about cats. It’s how much they’ve taught me. They鈥檝e taught me that love doesn鈥檛 need control. That respecting boundaries doesn鈥檛 mean rejection. And that the things we鈥檙e taught to fear aren鈥檛 always what they seem.

That’s why I care so much about changing how Nigerians see cats. My team and I are building a cat caf茅 in Lagos. We鈥檝e spent years creating an online community. Now we want a physical space where people can meet cats, challenge old stereotypes and maybe leave seeing them a little differently.

Because if there鈥檚 one thing I hope Nigerians take away from my story, it鈥檚 this: Cats aren鈥檛 evil, they鈥檙e just misunderstood.

READ NEXT: I Got a Dog to Grieve My Uncle. He Ended Up Saving My Life聽

We asked five women about the blush shades that changed their minds about using it in their routine. Here鈥檚 what they said.

“A deep berry blush made me realise blush wasn’t just for light-skinned girls” 鈥� Amanda*, 24

For the longest time, I thought blush was one of those products that only looked good on lighter skin tones. Every time I tried one, it either disappeared completely or looked like I was carrying pink dust on my cheeks. So I stuck to my powder highlighter and called it a day.

Everything changed when a makeup artist used a deep berry blush shade on me for a wedding I attended. It looked so natural that I didn’t even realise how much it had transformed my face until I started getting compliments. 

Now, I reach for berry and plum-toned blushes almost every time I do my makeup. They’re pigmented enough to show up without making me look overly made up. If I had to choose between a highlighter and blush, blush wins every time.

“Warm blush shades are my secret weapon” 鈥� Tolu*, 28

I don鈥檛 wear a full face of makeup every day. Most days, it’s just brows, concealer and lip gloss. But blush is the one thing I鈥檝e added that makes me look like I put a lot of effort into my appearance.

Pink blush shades had always felt too bright on me, but a warm terracotta shade blends into my skin in a way that looks natural while still giving me colour.

What I love most is how versatile it is. I can wear it to work, brunch or a wedding, and it never feels out of place. It’s become one of those products I automatically reach for because my makeup now feels incomplete without it.

“I never understood the hype until I found the right orange blush” 鈥� Nneka*, 26

My makeup drawer is evidence that I’ve made a lot of bad beauty purchases. Blush was one of them. I bought several shades, but they never looked the same on me as they did on the babes I saw online.

Then I tried a burnt orange blush and finally understood why everyone was obsessed. It brought warmth back into my face after foundation and gave me so much dimension. I was hooked.

The funny thing is that people rarely ask me what foundation I’m wearing anymore. They usually ask why my skin looks so fresh. Most of the time, the answer is blush and a well-placed concealer.

“Rose tones make me look awake even when I’m exhausted” 鈥� Chisom*, 31

I spend long hours in traffic going to and fro from work, and there are days when I look as tired as I feel. But blush has become my quickest fix.

I love a rich rose colour. It gives my face a natural warmth without making it seem like I鈥檓 caking on makeup. Whenever I wear it, I look more rested and put together. The best part is that I don鈥檛 even need to put on a lot. A small amount makes a big difference. That’s the step that makes people think I’ve slept eight hours on days I definitely haven’t.

“A Makeup artist鈥檚 bright pink blush technique completely changed my mind about colour” 鈥� Zara*, 30

I used to avoid colourful makeup because I thought it would clash with my dark skin. My routine was very neutral: brown eyeshadow, nude lips and nothing too bold.

But when I saw the bright pink blush look PaintedByEsther did for Olandria, the Love Island star, I knew I had to try my hand at it. I was sure it would look ridiculous, but it ended up being one of the most flattering things I’ve ever worn.

The colour shows up beautifully and gives my face a youthful, playful look. It also taught me that makeup for dark skin doesn’t have to be serious and demure to be beautiful. Playing with intimidating colours is so fun; it reminded me of when I used to do makeup for me, not just to look put together.

Blush isn鈥檛 the problem, finding the right product is. A shade that works on lighter skin might barely show up on deeper complexions, which is why pigmentation and undertones matter. Products like Yanga Beauty鈥檚 Candid Blush collection are changing that conversation by creating richly pigmented shades that complement melanin-rich skin and make it easier to achieve that effortless, just-blushed look. You can browse your favourite blush shades on the or on the .

When Jumoke lost her job, and Amara offered to help, she jumped at it. But Amara鈥檚 suffocating conditions eventually became the wedge that drove them apart. 

At the end, you鈥檒l get to decide: Did Jumoke f鈥� up?

This is Jumoke鈥檚 dilemma as told to Betty:

I met Amara at the NYSC camp when I was posted to Lagos in 2019. After camp, we joined efforts to look for affordable accommodation. We had to endure awful, smelly lodges and hostels together before we finally sorted out our accommodation. Going through that together made us very close and cemented our friendship.

Unfortunately, in 2025, I lost my job as a front desk officer. No matter what I did, I couldn鈥檛 find another one. Amara became my biggest support during that period. She listened to me rant after every rejected application and constantly sent me job openings.

In July 2025, she told me about an opening for a customer service rep at her company. The pay was decent, about 鈧�250k, but she warned me the online assessment would be difficult. Then she suggested a plan. 

She鈥檇 help me take the assessment, but I鈥檇 have to give her a portion of my salary. I knew it was wrong, but I was tired of unemployment. My savings were running low, and I felt desperate, so I agreed. I figured she would only ask for a small cut, and the arrangement would be temporary. I couldn鈥檛 have been more wrong.

Amara completed the assessment, I got the job, and I was ecstatic. Months of job hunting were finally over. When I asked Amara how much of my salary she鈥檇 be taking, she said 鈧�80K. I thought it was outrageous, but I agreed. I didn鈥檛 want to seem ungrateful after she鈥檇 helped me. 

At first, there weren鈥檛 any problems, but after five months, the arrangement started to feel exploitative. She was taking such a big part of my salary while I was doing all the work. 

I tried to negotiate for a better split, but she threatened to tell the company that I didn鈥檛 pass the assessment myself. If she did, I could lose the job.

I was so hurt. She knew how much I needed the job, yet she was willing to use that against me. After that, our relationship became strained. I distanced myself from her and focused on applying for other jobs so I could leave both the company and Amara鈥檚 arrangement behind.

Early this year, a mutual friend, Fejiro*, visited me. She was unemployed too, and while we were talking, she told me that Amara had reached out to her with the same offer she鈥檇 given me. She said Amara told her there was a customer service role paying 鈧�150k, and that she’d have to hand over 鈧�70k every month after being hired. The figure sounded suspiciously low, so I checked the listing myself. That’s when I discovered the role actually paid 鈧�250k. She鈥檇 lied to Fejiro to get more than half of her salary. I was livid.

At first, I wanted to mind my business. After all, I’d agreed to the same arrangement. But the more I thought about it, the angrier I became. I鈥檇 spent months paying Amara, and now she was trying to make even more money off someone else. So I told Fejiro everything. Understandably, Fejiro got upset, rejected Amara鈥檚 offer and told her off. 

Amara then got upset with me. She accused me of sabotaging her and once again threatened to get me fired. I tried to explain that what she was doing was unfair, but she reminded me that she didn鈥檛 force me into the arrangement. Then she accused me of acting out of jealousy because she was about to make more money from Fejiro. 

A few months later, I found another job and quit the one Amara helped me get into. The last time we spoke was when I sent her the final payment from my old salary. We haven鈥檛 spoken since. As far as I鈥檓 concerned, that friendship is over. The strange thing is that, despite everything, a part of me still misses her. I鈥檝e also been thinking, did I fuck up by telling Fejiro about Amara鈥檚 scheme? Was I acting out of resentment? Should I have kept it to myself?

Sunken Ships: I Spent Years Chasing A Best Friend Who Never Chose Me

For these Nigerians, growing up around certain money habits changed the way they see wealth, independence, and financial security. They share the money habits they witnessed growing up and promised not to repeat. 

鈥淲atching my dad borrow from everyone made me obsessed with saving鈥� 鈥� Tobi*, 28, M

My dad earned a decent salary, but he was always broke. He had a bad habit of borrowing money from people. There wasn鈥檛 a time when he wasn鈥檛 paying off one debt, and he owed relatives and friends for years. 

Growing up, I thought debt was a normal part of adulthood. Then I got my first job and realised it didn’t have to be that way. Today, I鈥檝e built a strong savings habit and set aside at least 30% of every paycheck before I spend a kobo. Some people think I’m too strict with money, but I never want to experience the embarrassment I watched my dad go through.

鈥淢y mum believed generosity brought blessings鈥� 鈥� Chima*, 34, F

My mum was generous to a fault. If she had 鈧�100,000, she’d give away 鈧�70,000 and trust that God would somehow make the rest work. That didn鈥檛 always happen. 

I remember many times when we’d struggle to pay school fees because she’d helped someone else with money. Watching that helplessly taught me that kindness without boundaries can be dangerous. I still help people, but not at the expense of my own financial stability. I will always be my number one priority.

罢丑别听聽is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.聽Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.聽.

鈥淢y parents never talked about money, so I taught myself鈥� 鈥� David*, 27, M

In my house, talking about money was almost taboo. We didn鈥檛 know how much my parents earned, owed, or saved. Then, when I was fifteen, our landlord dropped in suddenly and threatened to evict us because our rent hadn’t been paid. 

It was the first time I noticed we had money issues. That experience made me feel afraid and helpless. I became determined to understand money and how it works. I spent hours reading about investing, budgeting, and managing personal finances. Now, I save aggressively, and I鈥檓 always on the hunt to learn something new about managing my funds better. Knowledge is power, and knowing how to use your money is the best kind you can have.

鈥淢y father loved to chase get-rich-quick schemes鈥� 鈥� Ada*, 30, F

Growing up, my dad would brag about finding a new opportunity that was supposedly going to make us rich. Forex one year, livestock farming the next, then a bukka another year. He’d pour money into these businesses, hoping to cash out quickly but lose most of it. Watching him constantly gamble money on shortcuts made me appreciate slow, consistent wealth-building. I don’t care if an investment sounds exciting. If it seems too good to be true, I run.

鈥淢y parents never planned for emergencies鈥� 鈥� Abraham*, 26, M

Growing up, any unexpected expense became a family crisis. I developed money anxiety because there was never any set aside. I hated living with that uncertainty.聽

The first thing I鈥檓 currently building as an adult is an emergency fund. It’s not glamorous, but knowing I can survive a few months if I lose my job or something random pops up gives me peace that my parents never had.

鈥淚鈥檒l never be fully financially dependent on anyone鈥� 鈥� Sade*, 29, F

My mother never worked outside the home and depended completely on my father financially. Even when their marriage became miserable, she didn鈥檛 want to leave because she had no income of her own and had no idea how to start over. Watching that shaped my entire relationship with money. I don’t see financial independence as a luxury; I see it as freedom. I never want to be trapped somewhere I don’t want to be because I can’t afford to leave.

鈥淢y grandpa was so stingy that I became intentional about enjoying money鈥� 鈥� Kenneth*, 36, M

My parents showered my grandpa with gifts and money, but he was so tight-fisted that he denied himself everything. He would hide large tins of powdered milk till they went bad, and he鈥檇 eat only a small piece of meat once a week.

There鈥檚 nothing my parents didn鈥檛 try to make him loosen up. Even when his children gave him more money, he would hide the notes and refuse to spend it. When he passed away in 2018, the family shared all the things he鈥檇 been hiding.

That taught me something. I can鈥檛 take all I鈥檓 hoarding to the next life. So, today I save, but I also budget for enjoyment. I want financial security, but I don’t want to shortchange myself by being overly cautious with money.

READ ALSO: Nigerians Who Got Life-Changing Money. Then Lost It All

Kachi* (28) had always been drawn to Favour* (26) since they were kids. Over the years, she became a constant presence in her life; checking in, walking her home, studying with her, buying her birthday gifts and making space for her, even when Favour rarely did the same.

But every unanswered message and one-sided effort forced her to confront a painful possibility: what if the friendship she cherished existed only in her head?  

For Sunken Ships, she shares how years of chasing validation from someone she admired slowly eroded her self-esteem and why walking away was the only way to find it again.

Tell me how you met.

We attended the same church as kids, but I didn鈥檛 become drawn to her until 2014, when her mum passed away. She鈥檇 battled an illness for a long time before she died.

I saw firsthand the toll it took on her family, and I wanted to be there for her. In between offering comfort and companionship, our bond started to grow.

What were the early days of your friendship like?

Even though grief had brought us close, things still moved at a slow pace; she spent most of the year at boarding school. I鈥檇 only see her during the holidays, but we always got along well. For some reason, I thought the feeling of friendship was mutual.

Anyway, we continued the holiday-period arrangement for some time until she graduated in 2016. By that time, she spent more time at home while she awaited admission into university. She joined the same church workers鈥� society as me, and after our meetings, I鈥檇 walk her home. If she missed a meeting, I鈥檇 drop by to check on her.

That鈥檚 sweet. So at what point did you first notice cracks?

The funny thing is, I never quite did. I thought we had a great friendship. She gave me every reason to believe that she valued our friendship.

I remember we also promised to exchange birthday gifts in 2016. I was working at the time, so I gave her money to make her hair and bought her a beautiful dress. Seeing how happy she was made me happy too. She promised she鈥檇 get me something special for my birthday. 

But she never kept that promise.

Oh.

I got nothing from her. Even worse,  she didn鈥檛 post me on her social media, which stung. I honestly can鈥檛 even remember getting a birthday message from her.

罢丑别听聽is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.聽Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.聽.

Curious. Did she know it was your birthday?

Yes. She kept telling me to be patient because she hadn鈥檛 found the right gift yet. She made that promise over and over again, but nothing ever came.

Right. Why didn鈥檛 you walk away?

That should have been my first lesson in reciprocity, but I really liked her. She was a representation of the person I hoped to be, so I wasn鈥檛 ready to let go of the friendship. I suppressed my feelings and carried on as if nothing had happened.

So did things improve after that?

Not really. We started studying for JAMB together. After work, I鈥檇 go to her house so we could study and talk about everything we wanted to do when we got into university. 

Eventually, we got into different schools, and we were back to a long-distance arrangement.

This time around, I couldn鈥檛 ignore the cracks. I was always the one checking in. She started a business in school, and she鈥檇 only reply promptly when I wanted to patronise her. Otherwise, she鈥檇 leave my messages unanswered for days.

Did you ever bring it up?

I did, but she said balancing the business and school was tedious. But the funny thing was that the only time she鈥檇 reach out first was when she was coming back to Lagos for the holidays.

Even then, it started to feel like the friendship was one-sided. She constantly posted photos with her other friends, but never me. The only time she did was in 2018, and that was because we鈥檇 done a photoshoot together. Even though the friendship battered my self-esteem, I stayed in it.

Then a few years later, my father passed away. 

I鈥檓 sorry. Did she show up for you? 

It was one of the hardest periods of my life because I was away at school and couldn鈥檛 come home immediately. She sent me her condolences and promised to visit my mum, but she never did. Even after I returned home, she still didn鈥檛 visit.

 Despite that, I still refused to accept that the friendship was one-sided. I loved looking at her WhatsApp status, but eventually, she stopped responding altogether.

So when did you decide you鈥檇 had enough?

There wasn鈥檛 a big incident or fight. I just started working on my self-esteem, and I realised I didn鈥檛 have to accept scraps of friendship. 

My fianc茅, whom I thank God for, really helped me see myself differently. He constantly reminded me that I was worthy of friendships where the effort was mutual. That was the motivation I needed to cut her off.

And did you have any regrets afterwards?

Honestly, I expected to be heartbroken. Instead, I felt relieved. I felt free.

Till this point, I don鈥檛 even know if she鈥檚 aware that I鈥檝e cut her off, but I don鈥檛 care. 

Fair enough. If she reached out today, would you give the friendship another chance??

No. I think I gave her more than enough time to pour into our friendship. That time has now passed. I don鈥檛 wish her evil, but I no longer want her in my life.