, Content Creator and , also known as BigBadReni on X, and founder of Amplify Her, shared useful trade secrets as our speakers on the episode, while journalist and writer, kept the conversation going between our speakers and the crowd.聽

We had many takeaways from the conversation, but we鈥檝e saved the best for you. Here are X reasons why you keep going from talking stage to talking stage (respectfully). 

1. You Care Too Much About Optics and Not The Person 

Apparently, you鈥檙e not supposed to think of the social currency and elevation you might get if things go well with your talking stage. If you鈥檝e only been thinking about how well you sync in a TikTok video or how best to soft or hard launch them, your priorities are not in order. Optics and aesthetics come second, while your actual compatibility with the person comes first. Get to know the person you鈥檙e speaking to properly and get to know them out of genuine interest. Let first base go beyond sex after a night of sweating and gyrating. 

Tito says 鈥淭he concept of social media makes us too concerned with what people think about us. The optics and the aesthetics of it. If you鈥檙e speaking to someone, it鈥檚 not foreign to think of what your pictures will look like when you post. You鈥檒l be thinking of whether your pictures will look nice on Instagram or if you鈥檒l look good together in pictures,鈥�

For Reni, her view is slightly different. 鈥淚n Lagos, it is very normal for first base to be just raw sex. You want to hard launch someone, but then you don鈥檛 know whether or not they鈥檙e cheating on you. You鈥檙e dating someone, and everyone is waiting for you to find out they鈥檙e cheating on you. I think social media helps people actually curate their lives because now, a lot of people prefer soft launches.鈥�

2. You鈥檙e Ashamed of Yourself 

It鈥檚 2026, and everyone is scared of being vulnerable. Everyone is scared of being vulnerable because no one wants to turn to content. No one wants to turn to content because your disgrace will outlive you. Let鈥檚 be honest, the only way to really get to know someone and deepen emotional intimacy is through vulnerability. But when everyone is watching their front and back, it’s difficult to know when and who we can be safe with. However, if you鈥檙e serious about love and your person, it should mean nothing with the added fact that they feel the same, of course. 

Reni believes that the essence of vulnerability has been reduced. 鈥淰ulnerability has become cringe because we make a spectacle of everything. People are waiting for your downfall. Pain is amplified. Your disgrace will outlive you. These days, it鈥檚 a cool thing for people not to know anything about you. You have to gatekeep yourself, and people have to work to get information about you. Shame is the social media currency.鈥� she said.

On the other hand, public perception doesn’t affect how Tito see’s things. 鈥淎 lot of relationships and loving is about taking risks. And I think that鈥檚 why a lot of people are single, because we don鈥檛 want to take the risk of being vulnerable. And I think we have to firm the consequences of shame for that. It鈥檚 like we say the things we really want are on the other side of shame, so to get to that, we need to actually cross shame.鈥� he said.

Also Read: The State of Love 2026

3. You鈥檙e Doing too Much 

If you鈥檙e someone who knows what you want and what you鈥檙e looking for in a partner, great. If you鈥檙e completely clueless about what you would like your relationship to look like, even better. Our speakers agree that sometimes, saying too much too soon might scare away the other person or make them reluctant. Take your time and do your due diligence before oversharing. 

鈥淔irst of all, don鈥檛 rush into communicating what your expectations are. Also, don鈥檛 say it all at once; spread it out. The talking stage is to ask value questions, because I think a lot of people don鈥檛 pay attention to what they say in the talking stage. We also have to get to the point where we don鈥檛 feel cringe about sharing our intentions. It will make sense to the right person.鈥� According to Tito, this is the best way to maintain composure.

4. Your Eyes Are Too Big 

According to our speakers, one of the problems with talking stages these days is that people don鈥檛 know what they want. Everybody wants something because the other person has it. The factors that determine who we should date and what dating them should look like are now jumbled up into whatever it is we see on social media. Life happens in stages, and there鈥檚 nothing wrong with expecting regular things from regular people. 

Meanwhile, Reni believes that some of you have forgotten how old you really are. 鈥淚 think everybody needs to get off the internet first and foremost. Whatever it is we鈥檙e in is not going to look like what we see on screen.  I think there鈥檚 a layer of performativity and transactions that we don鈥檛 address. You can鈥檛 be 19-23 and expect that when you go on dates, it鈥檚 going to be slow and mind-blowing. When people get married and do things within their budget, we shame them for it. It鈥檚 okay to do things at your pace. Stop comparing everything you experience to what you see on screen.鈥� she said.

5. You Imagine Things Before They Happen 

Aka, you鈥檙e delusional, and sometimes that鈥檚 okay. But delusion inflates how we see things and impacts our conduct and expectations. It鈥檚 why we鈥檙e more heartbroken when the talking stage ends than the actual relationship. We鈥檙e not saying don鈥檛 get your hopes up, but remember this is real life, and if you鈥檙e a Lagosian, well. If delusion is your problem, take a break from the dating scene and touch grass. Evaluate your previous experiences and identify the issues. 

For Tito, everybody just needs to chill. His view? 鈥淛aded people should take a break from the dating scene. Drink water and chill. A lot of people are dating without knowing what they want. It’s like getting in a car with someone without knowing where they鈥檙e going. Then you get there and realise it’s not where you want to go. Take a break. Consult one or two people who make sense.鈥�

鈥淚 think a lot of people don鈥檛 realise that they鈥檙e jaded, which is why they continue to remain delusional. But if you are deluded, if you鈥檙e jaded, it鈥檚 because you鈥檝e spent too much time looking at the outside world. You need to be in touch with yourself. Kissing passionately at the rave won’t save your talking stage.鈥� Reni is certain that locking lips like there’s no tomorrow, won’t help revive dry bones.

If you think we鈥檝e covered everything that was said on the space, you鈥檙e far from right. Listen to the recording and get more trade secrets from our speakers. We promise it鈥檚 worth your while! 

HERtitude 2026 is happening this April, and the theme is Main Character Energy. Get your tickets here: .

1. Affi started building ReelFruit, because she wanted to do something different. An initiative that was unique and equally sustainable. Affi saw agriculture as her answer and built her ReelFruit on that. If you want to know exactly what about the industry led to her decision, watch her episode to find out.聽聽

2. Starting a business in Nigeria鈥檚 economy is not easy work. Especially because lending money (debt) is part of the process, and not many people are eager to give it up. How did Affi grow capital for her business? Scaling. In the documentary, she talks about raising small amounts from business grants and trusted sources and using that to garner assets and goodwill for ReelFruit.聽 Today, Affi has built an entire value chain that serves her brand and has raised millions of dollars.

3. Affi counts on the competence and capacity of people. The first being herself and the second being Nigerian youths. Everybody is looking for money, and everybody, especially youths, is looking for good work that brings money. Affi is determined to find youth and give them what they need to sustain her business.

鈥淚 think the thing that primarily sold my business was me. I am just a doer,鈥� she said.

It鈥檚 not just the story of how she built her business that inspires us, but also the story of HER.

HERtitude 2026 is happening this April, and the theme is Main Character Energy. Get your tickets here: .

1. 鈥淚 Started Exploring my Body During My Early Teenage Years鈥�- Oluchi*, 24

I started exploring my body during my early teenage years. I was reading an erotica, and I felt wet but didn’t know what to do about it or what was wrong. I was concerned. In the process of figuring out what was going on, I started touching myself, and it was a nice sensation. Did further research and I found a lot of answers on Healthline. I saw it was completely normal, and the rest is history. I always read erotica and then 鈥渆xplored myself鈥�, but then on lazy days, I watched porn.

Beyond erotica, other things that have also helped me become more familiar with my body are things like phone sex, watching people explore themselves, voyeurism and still erotica. Honestly, I don鈥檛 think much has changed about how I view myself; what matters to me is that I am satisfied. Masturbating didn鈥檛 even help me view myself better. But I think that鈥檚 because I have always been self-aware and confident. I believe my sexual life is my sexual life. It doesn’t necessarily influence my social, work or any other part of my life. I really like to compartmentalise that way.

The only thing I鈥檇 say exploring pleasure and my body has really done for me is that I鈥檓 now a lot more accommodating. People like what they like, and I can’t judge them for it. Except if it’s vile.

2. 鈥淚’ve Been Watching Porn Since a Very Young Age鈥�- Mariam*, 23

I’ve been watching porn since a very young age. Pretty early, haha, but that eventually led to some curiosity about my body and how to replicate the pleasure I saw the actors portray on screen. I’ve come a long way from my (personal) hairbrush and hands to a rose and a bullet. Other experiences that have helped me become more familiar with my body really just centre on sex and variations of it. I’d like to believe porn didn’t rot my brain. I also like to listen to what people have to say and hear about their experiences. Then I try them out on myself.

Masturbation hasn鈥檛 necessarily improved my image of myself, but honestly, it’s a double-edged sword. Because porn was my first introduction to sex, it shaped what I subconsciously associate with desire. As a woman, I ought to have a beautiful, curvy, or slender body devoid of any body hair, as the more popular actors sometimes do. Being my very first introduction to sex negatively affected my perception of how my body should look and how I want my partner to desire me. Because if I’m not curvy and hairless, does that not mean I’m not deserving of sex and its pleasures?

I would say things are much better now. Years and years of exploring my body has helped me understand what I enjoy in bed. I’d say it’s helped determine what I like and what I don’t like. I thought there was a 鈥渞ight鈥� way to experience pleasure and that I just needed to replicate it. But I’ve come to learn that what works for others might not work for me. I鈥檓 different, so the way I experience and seek out pleasure will be different, too.

3. 鈥淏uy a Vibrator and Lube鈥�- Abigail, 26

The first time I tried exploring my body, I tried with a vibrator, and I was 23. I followed some online advice and bought a vibrator and lube. Since then, I鈥檝e really just had a lot of make-out sessions and engaged in foreplay. But even those ones have helped me see how sensitive my body is to touch.

I think generally, masturbating eased me into being sexually active. Because of how often I got into and how nice it felt, I no longer go scared or anxious about being sexually active. Also, it鈥檚 easy for me to give my partner directions and speak up on what makes me feel good or otherwise.

My advice to women is always to explore their bodies. Get to know yourself. A lot of times, we tell women to get to know themselves and limit it to the emotional, mental or spiritual. But there鈥檚 nothing to be ashamed about when it comes to getting to know our bodies. It鈥檚 a natural aspect of life. Also, buy a vibrator and lube.

4. 鈥淭oys are Great, But Nothing Really Gets Me Cracked Like My Fingers.鈥�- Tosin*, 22

I take exploring my body very personally because the first time my body was explored, it wasn鈥檛 with my consent. Surprisingly and unfortunately, I was young, but it still felt good. Growing up, the memory stuck with me, and I think I tried to replace it by having as many experiences as possible. So, I started exploring my body at about 14, and then had sex at like 19.

Toys are great, but nothing really gets me cracked like my fingers. But honestly, to each their own. When I use my hands, I find that I鈥檓 able to really get in tune with myself, and that really helps with specificity when I鈥檓 telling people what I like. I guess in a way, getting into it with myself changed how I viewed and felt about my body. It gave me a sense of ownership in a way. Like, yes, this vessel actually belongs to me, and it is my responsibility to make her feel good. That sort of thing.

5. 鈥淚鈥檓 Open to all Human and Legal Genres of Pornography鈥�- Stella*, 24

I鈥檓 currently 24, but I can’t remember when exactly it is I started exploring my body. But I know i started out humping pillows. It鈥檚 such an underrated experience. What I can also say is that I鈥檝e had a good run and all my experiences have been great. Sometimes I do a bit too much with masturbation and sex, then I need to go on breaks because I realise it鈥檚 not hitting as well. But I think that鈥檚 something that happens to everyone.

Aside from self-pleasure, one thing that鈥檚 helped me is saying yes to everything but also knowing my limits. It might not be the most prudent advice, but if I have great chemistry with someone, I am 100% going to explore it. It doesn鈥檛 happen often, but it happens enough for my body count to have gotten past 10. For me, exploration is all you need to know what you like. Whether it鈥檚 with someone or it鈥檚 alone.

For people who are monogamous or in relationships, I鈥檇 advise planning things. A bit unethical, but adding to that, I鈥檇 also say read stuff and watch videos to see if you鈥檙e planning is something that genuinely turns you on. Honestly, even if it turns you on via video, it might not do the same thing in real life. I think that鈥檚 something I鈥檝e started doing as well. I鈥檓 open to all human and legal genres of pornography, and I try to see if it鈥檚 something I鈥檒l enjoy replicating. You find that it helps for great story times. 

Read Next: What She Said: Everyone My Parents Trusted Had Access to My Body

HERtitude 2026 is happening this April, and the theme is Main Character Energy. Get your tickets here: .

Season 1 featured , who manages payments at PiggyVest; , whose love of K-dramas led her to an unconventional career path; and , who reminded us there鈥檚 no single 鈥渞ight鈥� career route for women. We closed the season with and the impactful work she does across communities in Northern Nigeria.

Across four episodes, HER celebrated women who moved beyond circumstance, bet on what they loved, and built lives on their own terms. For Season 2, we鈥檙e bringing you even more stories of incredible women who have gone beyond marketing themselves and their skills and created brands with independent identities. 

Here are three things to expect from the upcoming season. 

1. Inspiration

If you鈥檝e ever felt the urge to change your life or finally start working on that business idea after watching something powerful, get ready to feel it even more with every episode this season. The women we鈥檙e bringing to your screens are women who refused to put conditions on their dreams and committed to seeing their visions through. Here鈥檚 our advice: dust off those planning journals. Revisit the ideas you tucked away. Give yourself permission to start again. One thing we know for sure is that these women will have you believing again. 

2. A How-To Business Guide

This season isn鈥檛 just packed with 鈥渁spire to perspire鈥� quotes. Each episode has the story and process of some who have started and built some of your favourite brands. From Shop Bawsty, to Yerwa Secrets, Sweatbox and others. We鈥檙e showing you the blueprint of how to make it in different industries from women who鈥檝e done it. 

3. All About HER

It鈥檚 2026, and we鈥檙e still about #ShiftingTheStory. Which means amplifying women to support women, and amplifying women who support women. The women in season 2 of our docu-series didn鈥檛 just think of how to grow their economic power, but also how to impact the lives of other women. Either by providing services or scaling their chosen industries. It鈥檚 businesses made by women, for women. It鈥檚 businesses aimed at paving the way for models that mirror theirs. 

Now that you know what you鈥檙e in for, what do we expect you to do? It鈥檚 simple. Spread the word. Set up a watch party with your girls, let them know that your faves are on 91大神 with tips on how to build the next best thing. Tell them HER 2 is coming to 91大神Mag on YouTube today, Saturday, March 7, 2026. Save the date!

Watch the first trailer, featuring and the story of how she built !

HERtitude 2026 is happening this April, and the theme is Main Character Energy. Get your tickets here: .

In this article, we spoke to five Nigerian women, patients and medical practitioners, on their experiences with misogyny in medical spaces. Some of what they have to say will shock you.

1. 鈥淎fter Finally Getting a Diagnosis, Doctors Tell Me to Come Back for Treatment After I Have Kids鈥�- Temiloluwa*, 19

It took me nearly five years to get an endometriosis diagnosis. Doctors kept telling me that my body would resolve on its own in due time. I got a diagnosis when it was looking like my period wasn’t going to stop. I was bleeding for three months, and the doctor told me it would stop by itself. He didn鈥檛 even try to do a proper test. Another one told me I needed to gain weight. I got prescribed pills for about three months. But it’s finished now, and I鈥檓 currently experiencing the same thing, and I鈥檓 stressed out thinking about which hospital to visit. Even after I got a diagnosis, some of them will tell me to come back when I鈥檓 ready to have kids. Every day, I am fighting for my life, barely getting through, and people are talking about non-existent kids before they attend to me.

2. 鈥淚鈥檝e Started Self-medicating. From Vinegar to Fenugreek Seeds and Pawpaw Leaf Tea鈥�- Hanatu*, 24

I have PCOS, and it’s basically genetic. It started with me not seeing my period for two months, then three and then eight months straight. Beyond not seeing my period, it also affected my appearance. I was constantly bloated and trying to lose weight felt like war, especially because I have ulcer. When I started visiting hospitals, some doctors actually told me that I needed to get married early. I started self-medicating. One time, I took vinegar, and it gave me heartburn. Then I started taking fenugreek seeds as tea, and it helped a bit. Sometimes I ear scent leaves and make tea with pawpaw leaves.

Doctors actually told me that there鈥檚 medication I can take, but they will only give it to me when I鈥檓 ready to get married. Apparently, giving me the pills can lead to something else. But the more I skip my period, the more painful it becomes.

3. 鈥淚鈥檝e Seen a Doctor Beat a Woman in Labour鈥�- Amaka*, 28*

As a health worker, the medical misogyny I experience from my colleagues and even the patients themselves is crazy. Sometimes patients come in, and when they admit to being sexually active and using contraceptives, they judge them. I remember one time the doctor called this lady an ashewo because she said she had sex the day before. Some doctors go as far as telling women to calm down or relax when they complain about cramps. 鈥楴o be ordinary menstrual pain dey do you?鈥� Mind you, this person couldn鈥檛 even walk by herself. I鈥檝e even seen a doctor beat a woman in labour. He was saying things like 鈥淲hen you were doing it, you were enjoying yourself o, but now that it鈥檚 time to push, you won’t push鈥�.

Sometimes even towards colleagues they work with. There was a doctor who was moving to one of my colleagues. Because he was our senior, she didn鈥檛 know how to navigate it, so she reported to the hospital鈥檚 HR. When they called in the man to share his own account of the story, he swore he would never move to her because she looked like someone who had multiple STDs. Even buying pregnancy test strips comes with judgment. They act like it鈥檚 wrong for women to be sexually active. But who are they sleeping with? Even when women want to pay their bills, they ask for their husbands. Before they attend to women in labour, they ask for their husbands. So many things that we don鈥檛 know about are happening. If you鈥檙e married, you鈥檙e off the hook. But you can鈥檛 look too young as well.

HERtitude 2026 is happening this April, and the theme is Main Character Energy. Get your tickets here: .

4. 鈥淭he Doctor Told Me to Bring My Non-existent Husband for a Proper Discussion About My Body鈥�- Ewoma*, 26*

My biggest issue is how some of them encourage family planning and contraceptive use, but judge you when you try to take it up. Damned if you do, damned if you don鈥檛. Every complaint I鈥檝e ever had, they attribute it to my cycle. Some of them make it seem like women just like complaining unnecessarily.  I remember one time I brought up birth control, and the man said he wouldn’t recommend it for me, especially as I’m “young, unmarried and childless” (Like that’s not the whole point for me).

Then he followed it up with “If to say you were married now, I would have said you should come with your husband so we can have a proper discussion”. I looked at this man. At that point, I’d spent 鈧�50k out of my own pocket to cover those two weeks of hospital visits and didn’t really appreciate being talked to like I couldn’t have agency over my own life. He kept giving vague answers to the other questions I had. I didn’t even want to talk anymore.

The only time someone actually did something tangible was when I was speaking to a female doctor. She was even more concerned than I was. However, the male doctor shut it down before it even gained proper ground. Sometimes, I’d rather just stay at home and power through whatever my body has decided to do that day, unless I feel like it’s an emergency.

Even with other women, too. My cousin tried to get contraceptives to aid her family planning. They asked her to come back when she had at least three children. She鈥檚 had two kids within two years, and I can tell that she鈥檚 really struggling.

5. 鈥淢en Think I鈥檝e had Many Abortions Because I鈥檓 a Nurse鈥�- Fatima*, 26*

I work in the family planning unit at a health centre, so sometimes I go to pharmacies to purchase pregnancy test strips. One time, I went to get from my regular pharmacy, and the lady there looked at me like I was doing something wrong. Because of the way she looked at me, I had to price the strips down to 鈧�100 from the 鈧�150 that she had said. Part of me even feels like she increased the price because she wasn鈥檛 happy with me buying it. Another pharmacy I used to go to, the lady鈥檚 husband used to speak Yoruba and say, 鈥楽he don go play rough play鈥�. Sometimes, the women who have experienced these things do it more often.

One time, a couple came to the health centre for family planning, and when they told them I would be attending to them, they had an issue with it because of my stature. So, misogyny in the health space, I think, it can come from both men and women. Some mothers even discourage their daughters from taking on family planning because they believe it causes family planning.

I鈥檝e even experienced men telling me they can鈥檛 be in relationships with me because I鈥檓 a nurse. Their view is either that I鈥檝e had too many abortions or that if I get pregnant, I鈥檒l know how to hide it from them.

Women come into the clinic all the time asking for family planning options. Some of them are scared of what their husband will do, so they ask us to do it secretly. One time, somebody鈥檚 husband came and caused a scene. The man even came with the police. We always ask them to sign in case of situations like this, so we show them that their wives came on their own and consented to whatever treatment we鈥檝e administered.

Read Next: Have You Ever Been Ignored by a Doctor? 鈥� 8 Women on Medical Misogyny

Our last X space featured women who feel strongly about how unsafe Nigeria鈥檚 online space is for women. The speakers in the space included actress,, a model, stylist and content creator and, digital literacy and education officer at.

In this article, we give you reasons why our online space isn鈥檛 safe for women and 4 ways to make it better.

What is So Unsafe About The World Wide Web for Nigerian women?

Before getting into how Nigeria鈥檚 online space is unsafe for women, it’s important to understand what we mean. Our speakers note that the online space is eager to punish women for being true to themselves and simply existing online. It is the trivialisation of women鈥檚 passions and the disproportionate backlash women receive for expressing their opinions and building personas online. 

Nigeria鈥檚 online space is unsafe for women because of misogyny. Women do not feel safe enough to make themselves visible online and source opportunities. With every post and interaction, there is the fear and likelihood that someone is waiting for the opportunity to harass, bully, or amplify posts that do just that. 

鈥淪afety is being able to exist without fear.  It鈥檚 the ability to express opinions and build online without disproportionate backlash. For women, it is visibility and opportunity. Existing online without the fear of being harassed and bullied, without being picked on simply because it’s easy to pick on women.鈥� 鈥� Osas Okonyon 

鈥淪afety for women online is true freedom. Being safe enough to express their passions.. It should not be seen as silly or trivialised. It is the ability of women to interact online without fear.鈥� – Ugonna Ihe

Why are People Committed to Limiting Online Safety?

Our speakers agree that there are a number of things fuelling the continuous harassment and bullying of women online. One of them is the algorithm and the added effect of remuneration for multiple impressions and engagement. For some reason, the tweets and posts that are most insulting and dehumanising often trend. And this results in financial compensation. Engagement is the new currency, and people are doing what they can to secure it.

There is also the social capital people get from tending and adequately 鈥渄ragging鈥� women online. Misogyny is rewarded on both financial and social ends. Men are awarded 鈥渟treet cred鈥� for being and saying inhumane things to women. And men continue to relish the feelings they get from being mean to women. 

鈥淭he online space today feels like secondary school, where boys used to get high over being mean to girls. Misogyny is rewarded. People don鈥檛 care about the things they accuse women of doing; what they care about is the high they get from punishing women. The core of it is misogyny. Men have always bonded over their humiliation and harassment of women.鈥�- Osas Okonyon 

鈥淥ne of the things we鈥檝e seen between last year and this year is that attention is the new oil. We are seeing people who have never seen $500 or $1000 before. People now believe that benefiting from women鈥檚 harms is worth the money. If they can get impressions on their posts punishing a woman, they鈥檙e good.鈥�- Ugonna Ihe

What Have We Tried Doing About It?

It鈥檚 not like women haven鈥檛 tried to shift this online narrative. The problem is the continued dismissal of conversations that try to . Whenever a woman tries to speak against an injustice that鈥檚 been done, everyone suddenly has an issue with her tone or delivery. Sometimes, the issue is even with the person attempting to speak, not necessarily what鈥檚 being said.

鈥淚f we are really critiquing something, why are people more concerned with how the thing was said rather than the real issue? Being treated as sub-human and harassed is not enjoyable. Why do I have to make my responses and defences palatable? The most rational response to injustice is anger. Why are women punished for expressing that anger?鈥�- Osas Okonyon

These situations have real-life consequences for women. It鈥檚 difficult to quantify what they are, but our speakers note that the worst-case scenario is death by suicide. Most times, it鈥檚 difficult for women to redeem themselves, especially when the torchbearers of said harassment are men.

鈥淧eople reduce it to dragging, but it’s not; it’s called bullying. The second is complete erasure. This bullying chases and erases women from these platforms. Another thing is reputational damage. The internet never forgets.鈥�- Ugonna Ihe

鈥淔alse accusations are worse for women because people believe men more than they do women.鈥�- Omoloto Opeifa 

So, what can we do to make our online space safe for women?

1.      Personalise Your Account and Feed

It鈥檚 important to curate our feed to include only posts and interactions that recognise women’s full autonomy. This might mean going private and controlling who follows you, blocking known troublemakers before they get to you or being cautious of the kinds of platforms and people you share your information with. This also includes media. It might be a bit jarring to take extra care just because you’re a woman. But until things get better, this is one way to protect yourself.

鈥淣ever get tired of blocking. By God’s grace, I will block you. Your account belongs to you. It is not a democracy. Leaving social media platforms will only allow the bully to continue being a nuisance to other people.鈥�- Omoloto Opeifa

2.      Be Your Sister’s Keeper

We鈥檝e already established how men always have each other鈥檚 backs and support each other irrespective of the action in question. Defending a woman should be easier. Even if you鈥檙e too introverted to react to the post, report it before it gets to people who would do worse things with it. Don鈥檛 think twice about interacting. If you want, you can even go the extra mile and report the account.

鈥淢aintain solidarity with women online. Men will always show solidarity and support each other, irrespective of how depraved something they鈥檝e done is. Women should do the same, and we have more reason to. If you are not reactive, you can simply report the post.鈥�- Osas Okonyon

3.      Advocacy

While reporting tweets and posts sounds like a fantastic idea, there is only so much we can achieve if the guidelines and regulations of social media platforms aren鈥檛 solid. The guidelines are limited and don鈥檛 take into account the cultural nuances of their active countries. It鈥檚 important for us to advocate for stronger guidelines and regulations that ensure active protection and safe spaces for women. We need to push for higher standards that will be upheld despite the need for engagement.

鈥淲e can’t use AI to track the validity of abuse because it lacks cultural nuances. AI may not recognise some slurs.鈥�- Ugonna Ihe

4.      Share this Article with Your Male Friends

Men need to do better. It鈥檚 that simple. Having a friend who lives and breathes for the harassment and bullying of women online, especially when you say nothing about it, makes you complicit in the action. It鈥檚 okay to call your friend out on their bad behaviour. We shouldn鈥檛 be telling people how to behave or treat women better, but unfortunately, we have to. There is real damage in the things we do and say to people online.

鈥淐all it out. Translate the herd culture to something positive. Call it out. Things don鈥檛 need to get that bad before we do something about it. There is also no need to amplify it. Stop bullying men who call out these behaviours. Understand the stakes involved.鈥�- Ugonna Ihe.

鈥淚 don鈥檛 want to be teaching men what to do at this age.鈥�- Omoloto Opeifa

The conversation was insightful and entertaining. If you鈥檙e too shy to share the article with your male friends, send them the space recording . Better still, give it a listen yourself.聽

Read Next: 4 Things To Know To Avoid Engaging In Cyberbullying

In this article, five Nigerians tell us how they started their investment journeys and what they look for before taking the risk. 

1. 鈥淚 invest in Companies whose Products or Services I use鈥�- Chima*, 27

I started investing about five years ago because I was tired of what my savings were doing for me. Which was nothing. I also wanted to build financial discipline. Before I started investing, I spoke to a few people who I knew were familiar with the game and built a checklist. My investment portfolio consists mainly of stocks. I try to invest in companies that I use their products or services, or the ones that have transparent business models. So, banks, for example and consumer companies like Presco and Nigeria Breweries. 

I use three different apps to invest. My first choice is InvestNaija, but that鈥檚 primarily for Nigerian stocks. I also use their Paramount Equity Fund, which invests mostly in stocks. I think I鈥檇 recommend that for new investors who don鈥檛 want to jump into the risk of things

My other two apps are Trove and Bamboo; they provide access to both domestic and foreign stocks, so the spread is fair. Other advice I鈥檇 give would be to stay consistent, and under what it is they鈥檙e investing it. Also, use money you can afford to lose and stick to the cost-averaging strategy. That simply means consistent funding or buying of stocks, maybe monthly or so. If you鈥檙e prioritising shares, you buy more when the price is low and less when it’s higher. 

2. 鈥淚 started investing because I was Hungry for Success鈥�- Leke*, 29

I started investing because I was hungry for success and more money, and this was about three years ago. When it comes to investment instruments, I try to look for the ones with less risk but guaranteed rewards. All the applications I use have access to foreign stocks, but I mostly use Robinhood. 

For new investors, I think it鈥檚 important to take everything seasoned investors say seriously. Do your research, get company fundamentals, etc. I鈥檇 also advise reviewing your portfolio often, but not too often that you give yourself a heart attack. Your returns won’t always be great, but they will be consistent, or as consistent as you鈥檙e involved in the process. I鈥檝e been doing this for three years, and the most I鈥檝e made is 鈧�500,000. Just take your time and stay hungry, or get hungry. 

3. 鈥淚鈥檝e made about $145,000鈥� – Chinedu*, 31聽

My investment journey actually started with a scam. I got a call from a broker I registered with back in 2013 to invest because the dollar was cheap. I funded my account with $200, and in a week, it grew to $250. When I was ready to withdraw my funds, I didn鈥檛 have access, then I realised I鈥檇 been scammed. That was when I decided to take things into my own hands. So, my motivation came from wanting financial freedom and getting scammed. 

I mainly invest in equities (stocks). The idea of owning part of a company that will likely beat inflation and deliver returns is great. Then crypto, because well, it鈥檚 crypto. But that one is very high-risk. Then I also like to invest in precious metals for balance. Something to keep my portfolio stable when everything else is going mad. My top investment banks currently are Chapel Hill Denham and Cardinal Stone. They鈥檙e both solid. I鈥檝e also been looking at Zrosk, too. My go-to strategy is technical analysis. I like to look at the data and math of markets. Trends and forecasts help me determine where to put my money. I鈥檝e made about $145,000 from investing, and that鈥檚 not cumulative. Just how much I鈥檝e gotten at once. 

My advice for new investors will be to determine why they鈥檙e investing. That鈥檒l help in knowing how much risk they can take on. Also, look at the data. It matters more than we think. 

4. 鈥淚 Started investing with 鈧�150,000 in Equities鈥�- Daniella*, 30

I only started investing last November, I think. My motivation came from not wanting to feel left out. I鈥檓 very bad with my finances, and it seemed like everyone was getting it right. I started small, though, with 鈧�150,000 with equities and 鈧�100,000 with mutual funds. 

The apps I use are InvestNaija and Bamboo. I鈥檓 not dabbling in foreign stocks yet. So, I use the former for mutual funds from CHD and Bamboo for my equities. My portfolio has Aradel, Okomu Oil, MTN and Dangote Cement. I try to think of commodities that are in demand and companies that have good PR, I guess. 

My advice for new investors will be to just get into it. Slow and steady wins the race. I鈥檝e seen my investment in stocks go down to 鈧�143,000 and go up to 鈧�159,000 since I started. It鈥檚 so crazy. I try to check it out at least once a week, but I think I鈥檝e gone down to about once in two weeks. Anyway, slow and steady wins the race. 

5. 鈥淚鈥檝e made Returns 35x an Investment鈥�- Sylvia*, 28

I discovered the stock market and began my investment journey through research. My motivation, honestly, came from not having enough money. I think being in the process has also made me realise that the most important thing is compounding. So, letting your interest returns grow on your principal.

I try to look for short-term investments with high yield, so I know that I鈥檓 not putting my money somewhere for a long time. Investments like this would usually also be high risk, but that鈥檚 just my speed. One time, I made returns worth 34x my initial capital on a high-risk investment. It was completely worth it for me.  

My trust aides are Trove, Bamboo, Stanbic IBTC Asset Management and GT Fund managers. I would advise new investors to take their time and not expect wealth immediately. Grow your capital and reinvest your interest. That鈥檚 the principle of compounding. Also, diversify your portfolio. 

Read Next: 5 Things You Should Know Before Making Your First Gold Purchase

In this article, 8 university students tell us whether they use contraceptives, how they use them, and l how they gained their knowledge on contraceptives. They also provide guidance on how best to fill the knowledge gap. 

1. 鈥淚t Doesn鈥檛 Feel Nearly the Same鈥濃�擜manda*, 18

I don鈥檛 generally use condoms. The experience just feels so much better without them. It doesn鈥檛 feel nearly the same. Whenever a sexual partner brings out condoms, I just cross my fingers hoping for the best. Right now, I鈥檓 only active with one person, and he pulls out. That’s good enough for me. I didn鈥檛 receive any sex education growing up, and I can’t say it would have made much of a difference if I had. I enjoy the feeling and don鈥檛 think contraceptives are for me.

2. 鈥淟et Them Know Their Options鈥濃�擱ichard*, 19

The only form of sex education I got was from church and school. The gist was basically, don鈥檛 do it, abstain, and it’s a sin. Nothing else was said. I think it’s most important to educate people on the different kinds of contraceptives, the upsides and the downsides and which ones would work for them and their relationships. Sexuality is so fluid these days, and people are so different, it won鈥檛 be a one-size-fits-all situation. People need to start talking to one another and not wait until they’re in university. Delaying only fills the time between our teenage years and adulthood with nonsense from outside sources. 

3. 鈥淪top Sugarcoating Things鈥濃�擜nnie*, 18

When I hear contraceptives, the first thing that comes to my mind is birth control. I didn’t have any sex education growing up. Everything I know, I taught myself learnt from friends, going online or just from being outside. I think we need to stop sugarcoating things. Be straight up with young people and teenagers when they get to a certain stage, and tell them how to handle themselves and be safe in a sexual context, rather than trying to protect their innocence and allowing them to be ignorant. Whenever we start talking about private parts or abstaining, we need to say things as they are. 

4. 鈥淪ex-ed Needs to be in School Curricula鈥濃�擪yle*, 22

Growing up, I went abroad for a portion of my high school years, and I can confidently say that the difference in sex education is staggering. I took sex-ed as a course. Having that basis of education has done wonders for how safe I am with my body. My knowledge made the process of transitioning into being more sexually active so much easier. Rather than having all of this stigma around sexual relationships, we need to be able to relay this information in a structured and constructive way. I think the school is the best place to do that. 

5. 鈥淲hy should a Girl Take a Pill for Me?鈥濃�擜ugust*, 18

I always use condoms when having sex. I grew up in a really strict household and never got any form of sexual education. Everything I know I found out from other sources. I will say that I never let my partners take birth control pills or get implants, exclusively for me. If it鈥檚 something they decide to do on their own, great. I just feel like it’s unfair. Why does she have to stress herself just to sleep with me? I have no problem wrapping myself up, and I don’t think she needs to mess with her hormones. It’s not worth it. If I could take the pills, I would.

6. 鈥淚 didn鈥檛 know Plan B should be a Last Resort鈥濃�擭gozi*, 19

I didn鈥檛 get any form of sex education growing up. I use Postinor as my form of birth control. I honestly didn鈥檛 know until this very conversation that it’s supposed to be an emergency contraceptive, not something to rely on consistently. Sometimes I think if I had been educated properly on sex, I wouldn’t be nearly as sexually active as I am right now. We need to de-stigmatise these topics. The older I get, the more I realise how much I don’t know. And the thing is, it only gets worse with each generation. Imagine what people younger than me are doing and how unsafe they might be because of what they don鈥檛 know. 

7. 鈥淢y go-to Method is Pulling Out鈥濃�擴che*, 18

My go-to method is pulling out. I’ve tried condoms, Plan B, pills, but that always seems to be my default. Most of the things I know about sex, I learnt in early university or late high school years. I think the best place to have learned about sex was in secondary school. I don’t think learning about these things earlier would have made much of a difference to my sex life. But I do know it would make a lot of other people’s lives easier. Honestly, it probably would have made me wiser as well.

8. 鈥淢y Family Taught Me a Lot鈥濃�擡ze*, 20

In my earlier days learning about sex, I had my sister, my mom, and YouTube. In the last 2 years, my dad has taught me about sex. It was extremely weird to learn the things that I did, to be honest, but I do think that it helped me in the long run. When it comes to being safe, I know what my priorities should be. Getting my partners and me tested and always making sure to use condoms. I think it’s extremely important to educate young people on these things, however embarrassing it may be. I鈥檓 glad my family didn鈥檛 let that deter them from telling me what I needed to know. Imagine not educating someone on sex because it鈥檚 embarrassing. People need to do better. 

Our Thoughts

One thing about teenagers and young adults, if they want to do something, they’re going do it anyway. No amount of sheltering or religion is going to stop them from exploring their bodies when they leave the home. Let them explore with the knowledge to do so safely. Children need to be educated with the appropriate information. Let them learn to be careful with sex. Not hide from it. 

Read Next: 鈥淚 Don鈥檛 Think Post-Nut Clarity Exists鈥�- 10 Nigerians On Feelings After Sex

The recent changes in Nigeria鈥檚 tax legislation have left people trying to make a living in a state of confusion, and that鈥檚 putting it lightly. Entrepreneurs, content creators, 9-5 workers, and those working with international organisations, whether it’s understanding what鈥檚 changed or if you now have to pay remit on income you can鈥檛 quite explain, our X (formerly Twitter) Space held on Tuesday, 13 January 2025, offers the answers you need. 

The space was moderated by Tobilola Ajibola, the campaign lead for our #ShiftTheStory campaign. Our sole speaker was Agbada S. Agbada, a seasoned legal professional and Senior Associate, Aluko & Oyebode. 

Here are three things to know about the new laws before you start remitting. 

1. It鈥檚 Not Just One Tax Law

Firstly, the new laws were aimed at unifying the old ones. Formerly, the Nigeria Tax Act 2025, Nigeria鈥檚 primary tax laws were scattered across several pieces of legislation. These include the Companies鈥� Income Tax Act, the Personal Income Tax Act, the Value Added Tax Act and others. The new regime consolidates all these laws into a single, reliable document: the Nigerian Tax Act (NTA). 

These laws were also backed by their administrative acts, which governed the rules and procedures concerning administration. Additionally, they have also been consolidated into the Nigeria Tax Administration Act. 

Alongside these are the and the . The NRS now replaces the Federal Inland Revenue Service as Nigeria鈥檚 central authority, with the JRB established to coordinate, harmonise and resolve disputes under the new system. 

2. Everyone is Involved 

Secondly, the new law requires everyone earning income to remit taxes to the authorities in their domiciled states. This means that everyone whose account is credited, for one reason or another, will be expected to pay. Fortunately, there are some reliefs and adjustments within the Act that taxpayers can take advantage of. 

Tax is calculated at increasing rates on your total annual income, up to 25% on any income above 鈧�50 million, with the first 鈧�800,000 taxed at 0%. 

3. Not All Tax Payment Processes are the Same 

Now that we鈥檝e established that we鈥檙e all paying tax, whether we like it or yes, it鈥檚 important to have a fair understanding of how it鈥檒l be done. 9-5ers are expected to remit monthly through their employers. Entrepreneurs and company owners should look into the specifics of what is required from them and the sort of exceptions they鈥檙e subject to, depending on the type of business entity. 

For remote workers, content creators, and those in a workforce without a corporate structure, remittances will occur at the end of the year. This means, throughout the year, you have to keep track of all the income you鈥檝e received, subtract your expenses, assess yourself, and remit the balance. 

Finally, it鈥檚 important for everyone to keep track of their payments through the months and years. Certain perks and regulatory actions require us to provide tax clearance certificates. Generally, it鈥檚 also good to know if you鈥檙e having a shortfall or can get refunded for paying excess. 

Listen to the X Space for full details on what was discussed!

Read Next: New Nigerian Tax Laws 2026: What They Really Mean for Your Wallet

In this article, 10 university students share their definitions of post-nut clarity and discuss its impact on themselves and their relationships. One thing to note is that no two experiences are the same, but maybe you can relate to one of them. 

1. 鈥淚 Think That Post-Nut clarity is Propaganda鈥濃�擝enji*, 20

Do you think that post-nut clarity affects relationships?

I feel like most men use 鈥減ost-sex clarity鈥� as an excuse to treat their partners badly after sex. They use it as an avenue to remove themselves from situations once they鈥檙e done. 

Has post-nut clarity affected you and your current partner?

I think intimacy with my partner has allowed us to be a lot more vulnerable with each other. Some conversations are now easier for us to have because of it. I think in the past we approached them with shyness and discomfort, but now it鈥檚 just like “I’ve seen all of you, what else are you hiding?鈥� It鈥檚 brought us much closer as a couple and helped us fully understand and relate with each other. 

2. 鈥淪ometimes I Just think, Why did I do This?鈥濃�擟himdi*, 19

How would you define post-sex clarity?

I would say it鈥檚 a feeling of regret that comes after self-reflection, like 鈥淒amn, what did I just do?鈥� You just take a minute to look at yourself and think about what you’re doing with your life or what you鈥檝e just done, and why you did it. It makes you think about yourself, your life and your actions.

Do you think that having sex changes your relationship?

I think when you jump into sexual activity early in the relationship, it can skew the way you think about your partner. That now affects how you both act moving forward. There’s a negative effect on your dynamic. If both of you aren’t fully committed to the relationship or you don鈥檛 see yourself long-term with your partner, there would definitely be a sense of shame surrounding it.

3. 鈥淚 see Sex as a Natural Part of Human Life鈥濃�擳unmi*, 20

How has post-nut clarity affected you?

Personally, it鈥檚 not something I鈥檝e experienced. But when I was younger, I used to experience a huge wave of shame and guilt after touching myself. A lot of it was religious, and even though I don’t experience it anymore, it had a huge effect on me. Now I just feel like everybody needs to get off. It shouldn鈥檛 be a problem. But I鈥檓 also no longer religious, so maybe that has helped me. 

Has it ever affected your view of your relationships?

There have been times when I was intimate with somebody, not penetrative sex, and after that, I just thought, yeah, I never want to do this again. It definitely affected my relationships with those people. 

4. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 think Post-Nut Clarity Exists鈥濃�擵anessa*, 18

Do you think post-nut clarity affects relationships?

I don鈥檛 believe in post-nut clarity. I鈥檝e never thought of it as a real thing, and because of that, I don’t think it affects my relationships. If a relationship changes, I鈥檓 pretty sure it鈥檚 because of other things, not post-nut clarity.

How has post-nut clarity affected your personal relationships?

The only time I can say I experienced something close to it was when I had a one-night stand. I woke up and knew I never wanted to see the person again. So, I blocked them and moved on with my life. But I think it was more about the person than the act. I feel disgusted whenever I think about the experience. 

5. 鈥淚 think that Sex makes Things feel Real鈥濃�擠emi*, 18

What’s your definition of post-nut clarity?

With a lot of people, I think it鈥檒l be the period of reflection after sex and the feeling of relief, or regret that comes with it. In most cases, I tend to feel safe. But there are people whom I鈥檝e regretted sleeping. I think that what makes up post-sex clarity are feelings and thoughts after the sex, and it varies from person to person.

How has post-nut clarity affected your personal relationships?

When it comes to casual relationships, I tend to draw a lot of boundaries. Once I decide to stop seeing someone, I start to distance myself from them. But when it comes to serious relationships, I think sex helps in strengthening our connection. It makes the relationship feel real. Once I鈥檓 in with someone for serious business, I don鈥檛 get post-nut clarity. It only exists for me in casual relationships. 

6. 鈥淚鈥檓 Asexual, so I don鈥檛 Orgasm Often鈥濃�擫isa*, 18

How does post-sex clarity impact you?

I only orgasm maybe once every two months, so I don鈥檛 have sex enough to experience post-sex clarity. But during my few interactions with my partner, my body tends to relax, and I feel closer to them. We cuddle, and they make me feel comfortable. I think all the affection strips the possibility of ever experiencing post-nut clarity. 

What effect do you think it has on relationships?

I think that before this year, I didn鈥檛 have a proper sexual encounter, at least one where I fully consented to.  People don’t generally prioritise consent as much as they should, and I think that鈥檚 one thing that can influence the occurrence of post-nut clarity. When people don鈥檛 prioritise consent during sexual activity, it can make their partners feel uncomfortable and have them rethink their relationships. 

7. 鈥淚 think Guilt Usually comes After Sex鈥濃�擟laire*, 18

How does post-sex clarity impact you?

I feel like, for a lot of people, the first emotion after having sex is guilt. So the post-nut clarity comes in how you communicate that guilt and how your body reacts to it. If I have sex with somebody and they immediately act standoffish or grossed out, I don’t think I’d ever sleep with them again. My own clarity comes from how they respond once we鈥檙e done. 

Has it affected you in the past?

I had an experience one time where I felt uneasy and uncomfortable after the person and I were done. The entire interaction made me feel weird, so I tried to talk about it. The person got defensive, and I think that stayed with me for a while. The only thing I felt after then was disgust, and I knew immediately that I wasn鈥檛 supposed to be in the fix. 

8. 鈥淧ost-Nut Clarity is Acknowledging Sex just Happened鈥濃�擪yle*, 22

How would you define post-nut clarity?

I definitely don鈥檛 see it as something that can change someone’s view or mentality towards a person that much. For me, it’s an acknowledgement of an event that just took place. Like, oh wow, that just happened, and you either like it or you don鈥檛. 

Do you think post-sex clarity can affect a relationship?

I think it鈥檚 more the way the person reacts after sex that affects the relationship. If your partner doesn’t create a safe space to discuss how things went and how they feel, then there may be problems.  People also need to prioritise sexual compatibility in their relationships. If you know you鈥檙e sexually compatible with someone, whether for a casual or serious thing, there wouldn’t be many moments of post-nut clarity. 

9. 鈥淚鈥檇 say Post-Nut Clarity is Challenging鈥濃�擭adia*, 19

How would you define post-nut clarity?

I think it’s a sense of remorse, shame or grief after a sexual act. But I also think that it鈥檚 mainly because of how society views sex. It鈥檚 seen as taboo, so the shame and guilt that come with it can definitely influence how you feel after the encounter.

How does post-sex clarity affect relationships?

I think a lot of it comes because people don鈥檛 generally give aftercare. Personally, I鈥榤 hardly ever with someone casually, so I always receive aftercare. Sex is great because it helps enhance romance and adds a new layer of depth to your relationship. If it’s done well and you’re both taken care of, there wouldn鈥檛 be much to clarify after it. 

10. 鈥淚 feel that Clarity can go Both Ways鈥濃�擝aba*, 19

How would you define post-nut clarity?

After sex, I usually have a moment where I realise what just happened. I hear a lot of people talking about how they鈥檙e like, 鈥渨hat have I done?鈥�, and they feel disgusted with themselves.  With my partner, it’s usually just a feeling of relaxation and happiness. If I鈥檓 thinking about what happened, it鈥檚 more like I鈥檓 relishing and processing it.  If people are feeling disgusted after sex with their partners, then they probably aren鈥檛 attracted to or love them in that moment. I think people need to affirm their partners more after sex. Say 鈥淚 love you鈥� to each other. 

How has becoming sexually active affected your relationship?

I believe that it has affected my relationship positively. Our first time, we felt really close to each other. We felt very safe, and it helped us to build up trust in our relationship. It also helped us affirm that we were real and here for one another, and that we had just done was an expression of our love.

Our Thoughts

Post sex-clarity shows up in a lot of different ways for people; it all depends on who you’re with, why you’re doing it and whether or not you feel comfortable. Our advice, be careful with who and when sharing your body. Let that post-sex clarity be a good thing!

Read Next: 鈥淚 Feel Guilty About Not Listening To My Parents鈥�- 5 Women On Feeling Guilty About Sex