Today鈥檚 Man Like is , a musician and creative. He talks to us about switching from engineering in university to becoming , support from his father and his plans for the future.

How would you describe yourself?

I鈥檓 a creative that has put my hand in different things at different times. Initially, I started with writing and that snowballed into me shooting videos. In uni, I started a parody news podcast called Straight Out of the Calabash where I discussed African news in a hilarious way. Then I also started trying to rap. The keyword is 鈥渢rying鈥� because I was terrible, but I was having fun making them. Then I got interested in films and writing them so my parents encouraged me to enrol at the London Film Academy for a masters in screenwriting. 

Your parents seem supportive of your chosen creative path.

They are. My dad, a lecturer of music at the University of Ibadan, is also a creative, so he understands and encourages my passion for the arts for this reason. We even collaborated on a song together.

What鈥檚 your favourite memory of your dad?

It has to be when we made the song together. One time, I came home and asked him to lay down a sax solo for a beat I just made and he agreed. The song named is one of my favourite works because my dad and I were able to come together as creatives and bond over music. When I finished producing the track and played it for him, he sent me a text saying he was proud of me. I felt victorious and happy  I hadn鈥檛 let my father down.

Why were you thinking you had let him down?

Well, I felt that way since he tried to make me start playing a musical instrument in childhood, but I just wasn鈥檛 interested in it. Also, the way my school issues panned out, I felt that way a lot.

What happened?

I started out studying industrial and production engineering in university, but I hated the course so much. It was boring and I struggled in class. It also didn鈥檛 help that my hall of residence was far from my department, and I had to walk all the way because I had crashed my car a few weeks before school resumed. 

One day, I told my mum I didn鈥檛 want to do the course anymore. She was sceptical at first because she really wanted me to be an engineer, but she saw that my heart wasn鈥檛 in it. So I switched to sociology. I wanted to be a writer and I wanted a course that would give me a good grasp of human society.

You seem closer to your mum.

Yeah. My dad hardly shows emotions and keeps to himself. My mum is more vivacious. She鈥檚 also my personal person; we talk freely and I even tell her about the women I鈥檓 talking to without expecting to receive an awkward lecture about safe sex and being careful.

My mum is always in my corner encouraging me to do what I鈥檓 passionate about. She always tells me she believes in me and my work. She鈥檚 been a pillar for most of my life. 

That鈥檚 nice. Outside academics, how was university life for you?

There were two parts. Initially, I felt like I was in the shadow of one of my closest friends. He was literally bigger than I was and more popular. Later, I became part of a group of creatives I met at the University of Ibadan called Mad District. We did all sorts 鈥� skits, podcasts, videos. That was how my creative journey started. Over time, I sort of became popular and many people knew me. I had a lot of fun during this period.

Then you travelled for film school.

For a while, I didn鈥檛 feel like I deserved to be travelling abroad for film school when I had not created a short film. I was worried I would end up disappointing everyone. My former workplace didn鈥檛 think I was talented enough to work with them after my NYSC, so why did my parents think I was worthy of going abroad for film school? I had been in proximity to the industry when I worked as a production assistant and nobody had recognised my talent, so I was afraid I didn鈥檛 have any.

What happened at the job?

I wasn鈥檛 enjoying what I was doing. To be honest, I wasn鈥檛 the best employee. Before I got the job, I thought it was going to be an avenue for me to create and go wild, but it turned out that my job was just to carry lights and filming equipment. It was monotonous work. That was when I started making skits and short videos, as a way to purge all the thoughts I had compressed in my head. It was my way of procrastinating.

What are your plans after film school?

I鈥檓 romanticising the idea of becoming a staff writer on a TV show in the UK. It鈥檚 something I鈥檇 really love to do and would be a dream come true. Maybe a movie or two. I鈥檇 like to bring Nigerian culture to the big screen and change the narrative that all we have are poor kids with flies on their faces.

How did moving from Nigeria to the UK affect you?

I鈥檝e come to the land where light doesn鈥檛 go and the internet flows like water, so it鈥檚 been great so far. I鈥檝e been able to create more.

What鈥檚 been the most jarring difference between living in Nigeria and the UK?

Cars stop for you to cross and nurses don鈥檛 shout at you. 

Lool.

Check back every Sunday by 12 pm for new stories in the听Man Like听series. If you鈥檇 like to be featured or you know anyone that would be perfect for this, kindly send an听email.

Sadiq

We met while I was in uni when I had to settle a dispute between her and her class rep. She spoke so well but I didn鈥檛 think much of it. We exchanged numbers after we resolved the conflict and kept in touch.

During the Student Union Government elections, she somehow found a shirt that I had lent to a mutual friend and asked me to come to pick it up at her place. That evening, she made yam and egg stew and I left without collecting my shirt. We started talking more frequently after. She鈥檇 come to check on me and talk for hours. She鈥檇 also send me food and airtime. I was having a great time with her. 

On my birthday, she took me to a mini-mart, bought me drinks and a cake and she took me to her place and we had our own private party. She told me she liked me in a way she couldn鈥檛 explain. She told me she wanted me in her life as her backbone. That was how we started dating.

Tunde

On my birthday, a mutual friend posted my picture and tagged me. She slid into my DMs and wished me a happy birthday and asked for her birthday cake. I wasn鈥檛 seeing anyone at the time so I gave her the green light. It鈥檚 been a beautiful relationship and I鈥檝e loved her even more since then. She鈥檒l never agree that she鈥檚 the one who moved to me. The same way she doesn鈥檛 want to accept that I love her even more.

Uche 

We had been talking for a couple of months before she asked me out. I felt great because she鈥檚 smart, beautiful and I鈥檓 incredibly attracted to her. She matches my energy and we vibe perfectly. However, she lives in the North while I鈥檓 in the East so I turned her down the first time.

Then she got a boyfriend and she鈥檇 rub it in my face any chance she for. We stopped talking for a bit. When we reconnected, she asked me out again and I had no excuses to give. It was obvious we wanted each other very much. Even though distance ended up being an issue, we鈥檝e been together for more than a year. I鈥檒l see her again in January and I can鈥檛 wait.

Tony

I met this girl at my workplace. She usually gave me a ride on her way home and dropped me at her stop. She asked me out on a date and it was the best date I had ever had. I found out that she had just gotten out of a relationship, just like me. Because we worked in separate shifts, she鈥檇 bring me food. We even once went on a weekend getaway to a hotel and made great love all through.

Two weeks later, a new guy resumed at the office and she started getting closer to him. I noticed that she started picking fights with me and soon after, the relationship died. I still don鈥檛 know if we broke up because of the guy. Maybe one day, I鈥檒l know the truth.

1. Pierce your ears

The more piercings you get, the better. Wearing earrings can convert you from 鈥渨here鈥檚 my hug?鈥� type of guy to 鈥淏aby, come to me, m’olowo.鈥�

2. Pick a new hairstyle

Enough of doing the same hairstyle for the last 10 years. Do (pun very much intended). Locs or braids are the way to go. Of course, this doesn鈥檛 apply to you if you鈥檙e working in one bank where you have to wear a tie. Don鈥檛 say 91大神 made you lose your job.

3. Grow out your beard

A beard changes EVERYTHING, according to some of my sauces.Look at how it changed Adekunle Wura to AG Zaddy. If you don鈥檛 believe it, look at a regular picture of Jason Momoa and look at him in Dune. They said his face looked like a freshly shaved armpit.

4. Stop focusing on love and start focusing on money

Nobody was pay AG Baby any attention when he was singing about Sade and Orente. Reports reaching us tell us that Orente was starting to complain, so Adekunle had to switch it up. Now, look at him.

5. Find something to motivate you.

For AG baby, he has been putting out bangers since his daughter was born. He is clearly motivated by all the school fees he鈥檒l soon start paying. 

7. Go and marry.

Since AG Baby married, he has been releasing constant bangers. Get married to a Nigerian woman today.

6. Get a tattoo.

This completes your bad boy makeover. You鈥檙e now ready to get on the road and break a few hearts.

Today鈥檚 Man Like is Akabogu Dalu, a 29-year-old finance guy. He talks about wanting to become a boxer, how going broke taught him to prioritise his family and how he has changed since he got married.

What do you do?

I do a lot of interesting things. My day job is working as a portfolio manager and advisory lead. Other times, I trade. I try as much as possible to be in every area of finance. I also make investments in startups. 

Interesting. 

Funny enough, I didn鈥檛 see myself ending up in the finance sector when I was growing up. I was a science student so I thought I was going to become a doctor, then I thought I鈥檇 be a civil engineer, boxer, and even boxing promoter. I ended up studying finance at the university because I was good at economics.

Boxer? LMAO. How?

I鈥檝e always been obsessed with boxing. I was so good at predicting the winner of a match just by looking at the boxers鈥� footwork. I became an amateur boxer when I was 19 and was supposed to represent Nigeria at the 2012 Olympics. 

However, I went through a lot in the training camp and to top it all off, my coach demanded about half of the 鈧�30k stipend the Nigerian Boxing Federation gave me. That鈥檚 the moment I knew that boxing in Nigeria wasn鈥檛 for me. 

Later that evening, I saw one of my friends on Facebook receiving congratulations for a finance job. That鈥檚 when I realised that I wanted to go into finance, after all, I had graduated one of the best in my class in finance. 

What happened next?

I got a job as a corporate banker at a popular commercial bank. It paid me well, but I hated it.

Why?

I wanted to do core finance. But my role as a corporate banker meant that I was just a glorified marketer. Only people who brought in major clients to open accounts were promoted and I wasn鈥檛 learning anything. You were only as valuable as the amount of money you could bring in. I was frustrated with the job, even though it paid well according to my standards at the time. My first salary was the biggest amount that had ever entered my account and I made sure to enjoy myself with the money. I was flexing, pursuing women of all shapes and sizes, and clubbing. 

So after three years, I quit the job at the bank after two years. It turned out to be the roughest year of my life.

Omo. How?

That was the year I saw poverty face-to-face. I had saved up four months worth of salary by then and thought that would be enough till I got another job. How wrong I was. I ended up remaining unemployed for almost a year. All the women I was chasing ghosted me. My savings were wiped out. I became so broke, my clothes were becoming rags and I couldn鈥檛 afford to eat on some days. I used to use an anonymous account on Twitter to beg for money. That鈥檚 how bad it was. 

That must have been so hard. How did you get by?

My younger brother was there for me a lot during that year. He was just a fresh graduate at the time but he did his best to support me. One time, he made 鈧�10k from sports betting and he gave me half of it. I was moved to tears because when I had money, I hardly took care of him or my family. That was when I realised how much I had not been supportive of my family. They weren鈥檛 a priority to me while I was making money because I was focused on myself.

I promised my brother, 鈥淲hen I get my next job, I鈥檓 going to become really good at it, make enough money and send you out of this country.鈥�

That was when I realised that at any point in time, the first quadrant of your income should be reserved for people who are/were pivotal to your growth as a person. Always make sure your people are okay. People I thought were my friends ghosted me and the only support I had was my family. 

What happened next?

After a year unemployed, I got another job in an investment house and things started picking up. I said, 鈥淭his job, I will die here. I will learn everything there is to learn and become incredibly good at it. I鈥檒l make sure I never stay at home unemployed again.鈥� I was always the first to get to the office and the last to leave. I was honing all my skills with the fear of poverty on my mind. I didn鈥檛 have a life; I was always on YouTube learning a skill or the other in finance.

From there, I moved to a corporate consulting firm and from there I moved to a private equity firm where I鈥檓 currently a Vice President. 

Congratulations, man. What was your game plan?

It was full-on hard work. I鈥檓 not the smartest guy, but you can鈥檛 outwork me so I used that to my advantage. Now, I鈥檓 in a better place financially. I fulfilled the promise I made to my brother and sent him abroad this year. I work hard to make sure I can provide for my support system. If I hadn鈥檛 had that tough period in 2016, I probably still wouldn鈥檛 have prioritised their welfare the way I do now. 

It鈥檚 why I鈥檓 equivocal on the black tax conversation. My sisters treat me like their personal ATM and honestly, I don鈥檛 mind. I prefer they ask me than ask from some random person outside. I see it as my responsibility, a kind of repayment for all the support they鈥檝e given me. They were pivotal to my development, the least I can give them is my financial support. 

What else do you do?

I鈥檓 focused on making money so they never have to want anything. Asides from my day job, I trade stocks, bonds and other risky ventures, like investing in startups. As a younger man, I used to take a lot of risks. I lost a lot of money and I made a lot of money. I used to adhere to the 鈥淕o big or go home鈥� principle. I don鈥檛 do that as much anymore because now I consider how the decision is going to affect my family before making it. 

What does your family look like?

I have two brothers and two sisters, alongside my mother and father. 

What was growing up like?

It was a decent upbringing. My dad is from a family of spare parts dealers and was also one himself so he swore that none of his kids would end up as a parts dealer. My dad made sure we were properly educated. We were doing fine until our apartment burnt down in 2005 and my father lost all his goods. We were pretty much bankrupt. It was a hard reset for my family.

Sorry to hear about that. How鈥檚 your relationship with your dad?

We鈥檙e quite distant. I wasn鈥檛 close to him because I was scared of him. I can鈥檛 tell him certain things I would tell my mom because we didn鈥檛 have their relationship. For example, I didn鈥檛 tell my dad when I was unemployed but my mom knew and always prayed and encouraged me. 

There was a time she had to undergo surgery and I felt terrible because I was the only one who couldn鈥檛 contribute to paying for the procedure. I鈥檓 glad that鈥檚 all history now.

That鈥檚 sad. On to lighter topics. What鈥檚 your romantic life like?

Whew. I鈥檓 married to the best woman ever.

Congratulations! What鈥檚 the most important way you鈥檝e changed as a man since you got married?

On the night of my traditional wedding, I told myself, 鈥淪ee, this woman was on her own, enjoying her life. I convinced her to leave her parents鈥� house to come and marry her, which means that my only Key Performance Indicator (KPI) is to make sure she鈥檚 always happy.鈥� This means my default mode is providing for her emotionally and financially to the best of my abilities.

Marriage also changed my perception of risk. When I was single, I used to make very risky financial moves. Now, I think about the implications my decisions will have on her and my unborn kids.

God when? How do you relax after a long week of work?

I work very hard in a high-pressure environment; about 50-60听 hours a week. So I take unwinding very seriously. At least, every two weeks, I get a room in a 5-star hotel and just relax for the weekend. I spend them in the hotel bed watching boxing videos. I also like to laugh on Instagram.

God when?

Lool.

1. You鈥檙e rude

If you are naturally rude without even trying, congratulations because you鈥檙e already halfway to being a Nigerian nurse.

2. You like to gossip听

If you鈥檙e more likely to be caught discussing Nurse Titi鈥檚 flirting with doctors, you have a high chance of being a Nigerian nurse.

3. You enjoy being wicked

If wickedness is your middle name or you鈥檙e a Nigerian woman, then this profession is perfect for you.

4. You have big bum bum

It鈥檚 like they measure your bum bum at the nursing school before they admit.

5. You like seeing people cry.

If someone crying makes blood rush through your veins, just go and enrol in nursing school.

6. Your side hustle is selling soft drinks

You鈥檒l need this skill when you start selling drinks to sick patients and force them to use their medicine with it.

7. You enjoy seeing other people in pain

If the thought of people crying out in pain after you鈥檝e injected their buttocks is making you happy.

8. If your hands are painfully hard

If your hands are more painful than the injection, you鈥檝e chosen the right profession.

We spoke to Sheye Banks of Soundcity and Mobola Awe of FOMO Lagos about how they found their voices and gained their independence to become who they are today.

Sheye Banks

How did you get started as an On-Air Personality?

It started off with me being very angry 鈥� angry about the government, human rights abuses, and the general state of things in Nigeria. I just wanted to make a difference. Along the way, I found my purpose in being a radio presenter. 

How?

I took a break from school and went to the UK for a gap year. I went to visit a relative in the hospital one day and stumbled on a radio station. I heard the hosts of the show talking and I just fell in love with it. Immediately after I came back to Nigeria, I joined my school鈥檚 radio station, UNILAG FM.

Was it smooth or did you face some challenges along the way?

Oh, I did. My parents weren鈥檛 on board in the beginning. They were confused about why I wanted to become an OAP after spending so much money on my education studying Mathematics and Statistics at the University of Lagos, even after I spent more years in school than I should have.

After University, I joined a radio station in Abuja but was getting paid peanuts, even after 6 years on the job. And my parents hated this.

It was at the point I had to put my foot down and find my independence I insisted that this was what I wanted to do with my life, and they had no choice but to respect my decision. After my time at the radio station in Abuja, I came back to Lagos and that鈥檚 where my career really began to kick off.

I also had to have hard conversations with myself. I knew that even though I was doing radio, I needed to do other things on the side before it took off. Now, aside from being an OAP, I鈥檓 a hype man, music executive, A & R, a multimedia entrepreneur, and many other things. All of this wouldn鈥檛 have happened if I didn鈥檛 decide to make independent decisions and remain in the radio industry. 

That鈥檚 inspiring. It seems like you were determined from the start.

Yes, but like everyone, I had my doubts when things weren’t going well. I went from wanting to be an aeronautical engineer to studying mathematics and statistics. At some point, I even wanted to be a motivational speaker because I spoke in church as a child. But radio was where I found my independence and my purpose. It was the first time I decided what I wanted for myself and went for it. I wasn鈥檛 doing it for the money. I was just very passionate about it, which I stuck with even when I wasn鈥檛 getting paid.

Do you have any words for younger people trying to live their most authentic lives and going after what they want?

The most important thing is to be yourself. We鈥檙e called On-Air Personalities for a reason – because your personality and your true self is the most important thing. It is crucial to be yourself in a way you can be proud of. Express yourself knowing you have a purpose and vision. Work towards greatness, and above all, be free. The sky’s the limit so don鈥檛 let anybody put you in a box. Consistency is far better than speed. When it鈥檚 time, it鈥檒l pay off. This is why I identify with Jameson because I鈥檓 all for living authentically.

Mobola:

How did you get started with FOMO Lagos?

When I moved back to Lagos in 2013 after uni, I figured there were a lot of activities to do in Lagos, but people seemed stuck on dining and clubbing. So, I went out of my way to find something different I could do in Lagos. My friends knew I was the go-to person when they wanted to do something different and that鈥檚 how I started FOMO Lagos, a page where I curate fun activities people can do while in the city. In a few months, the page developed a large following. 

Was this what you always planned to do?

Nah! I studied civil engineering and practised it for two years, but my soul wasn鈥檛 in it. 

Did you face any difficulties with your decision to start FOMO Lagos?

My parents were not pleased that I was focusing my efforts on FOMO Lagos, which led to my dad not speaking to me for a long time. But I knew I just had to break free and do this for me because it was what I wanted. I wanted to live my truth. Since I was little, I鈥檝e always been a rebel. I chase whatever I want with my full strength so when they saw how passionate I was about it, they came around.

That鈥檚 admirable. What do you do for fun?

I enjoy listening to music and painting. I even wanted to be a DJ at some point, but for now, I鈥檒l stick to making playlists, LMAO! I always tell young people that the fear that you鈥檙e not on the right path will always be there, but you have to learn to live with it. That鈥檚 no reason to stop. Also, just do what your gut tells you because that鈥檚 the real you.

In collaboration with Jameson Irish Whiskey, we have taken time out to applaud the resilience and uniqueness of today鈥檚 generation 鈥� where young people are living their authentic lives and being their true selves, breaking free from the chains of conformity. 

To explain this, we spoke to four Nigerian creatives about how they broke free and found their voices.

Ayopo Abiri

I鈥檓 a 21-year-old creative director and makeup artist which I use as a form of self-expression. My style of make-up is editorial avant-garde, and it involves unconventional methods and special effects. It isn鈥檛 popular in Nigeria so most times, people hire me to do regular glam make-up. I still do it because bills must be paid but that鈥檚 just not who I am. I find my expression in my art and don鈥檛 like when my freedom is stifled. I love editorial avant-garde because it鈥檚 different and stands out but also beautiful. For fun, you can easily find me at a party or at a Jameson event. I love parties!

To be free is the ability to be who I want to be without restrictions of any kind. I鈥檓 non-conforming and always trying to push the boundaries of what鈥檚 acceptable. Simply put, I find my freedom by not being in the box. A few months ago, I was busy doing glam makeup that was bringing in money but deep down, I was bored. Editorial avant-garde fills me with excitement, and I think that鈥檚 important for every artist.

Ademola Falomo

I鈥檓 a filmmaker and director. I like to say I shoot cool stuff sometimes 鈥� music videos. I began making videos when Nigerian directors, who I respect, were mostly doing luxury videos 鈥� fast cars, hot models, and bottles. I started out shooting videos for Santi, Tems & Odunsi, and shot some videos for Jameson. My work stood out because it was eccentric and took a different approach. For example, the video Santi and I shot for Gangsta Fear was pretty much of us just going around Magodo and taking shots of interesting scenes and people. It was just different. However, because I was new to the business, I couldn鈥檛 afford the best cameras (i.e., the kind that would get my videos shown on television stations) so we took to social media to heavily promote our videos. That鈥檚 how we got people to notice our work.

Whether or not I’m working, I鈥檓 always making videos and started shooting videos when I was in uni to wind down from schoolwork. I like to make music for fun too, although I haven鈥檛 released any of my stuff. It鈥檚 where I authentically express my voice and identity.

To me, freedom is being at peace with yourself. When you鈥檙e being true to who you really are, that鈥檚 real freedom. My advice to younger people is to be yourself. Why follow other people鈥檚 rules? 

Fifo Adebakin

I鈥檇 describe myself as a guy who uses photographs to capture how he sees the world. I鈥檝e been taking photos for 11 years; since I was in secondary school and I haven鈥檛 stopped since. My love was born out of wanting to capture the things I observe in the world. I鈥檓 an observer of human behaviour, so I like to capture everything going on with humans.

I鈥檝e always thought that I鈥檓 a weird person and people tend to agree, LMAO! My weirdness keeps me inquisitive and wanting to try new and dangerous things. That鈥檚 where I find freedom.

Photography is pretty much who I am. It鈥檚 both my work and my hobby. I also enjoy travelling to see new places and living on the edge, like going skydiving. That鈥檚 what freedom means to me; being able to do whatever I want and not have any regrets about it. It鈥檚 about living life on your own terms. For example, I have a sensitive stomach and used to be picky about what I ate until I decided, 鈥淵ou know what? I can鈥檛 travel to all these new places without trying their food out of fear.鈥� So, I freed myself from the shackles and became that guy that tried everything. I eat whatever I feel like.

I express myself through my photography, but the way Lagos is set up, you have to do photography that makes you money. Still, I find pockets of photography through which I can express myself. 

Nkay Okwudiri

I鈥檓 a lifestyle influencer, food blogger, and content creator based in Abuja. My job is basically intertwined with my personality because lifestyle influencing means influencing through the way I live. I鈥檓 an extrovert and bring a fun, different energy to other people鈥檚 lives so it was natural for me to go down that path. 

My friends used to come ask me where to go because I always knew which places were popping. Since I moved to Abuja in 2017, I鈥檝e had the freedom to chase my passion. I always tell people to be themselves. Don鈥檛 try to live for anybody 鈥� they鈥檒l all be fine. 

1. Do random stuff

Like going to an art museum. It might seem like a waste of time and money but art just has a way of putting things in perspective.听

2. Manicure your nails

People that are suffering always have rough nails. If your nails are neat and trimmed, it makes it seem like your life is okay.

3. Have a skincare routine

You might be crying as you鈥檙e doing your skincare routine every night, but at least you鈥檙e doing it.

4. Wear trad.

For some reason, people always think men that wear trad have figured their lives out and have serious money. This is the best way. Wear trad today.

5. Go to the gym regularly

People who go to the gym regularly always seem like they鈥檙e doing something right in their lives. At least when they see you sweating on your way back, they鈥檒l know that things are happening with you.

6. Spoil yourself 

Life is tough but try dey enjoy small small. It鈥檚 okay to take yourself out to dinner or buy yourself something you鈥檝e always wanted.

1. Sleep in the same conditions as the last time.

Put the in the same setting, lay your bed the same way it was when you last dreamed.

2. Wear the same clothes you wore to bed.

Pyjamas? Naked? Three-piece suit? You have to wear the exact same clothes you wore the last time so that your body can get in tune with the mission at hand. You can鈥檛 be too hot or too cold.

3. Sleep in the same position

Do you usually sleep like the entire bed is your kingdom, or do you sleep on one tiny space because you still have PTSD from the time your girlfriend always pushed you to the edge of the bed? 

4. Replay the dream in your head from beginning to the end.

From the start, start replaying the dream exactly as it happened, without skipping any parts. Sleep that way. It鈥檚 important to get in tune with the dream world.

5. Manifest the dream.

This is the hardest part. You have to really focus on the dream and manifest it into reality as you fall asleep. If it鈥檚 spirit husband you were kissing, imagine his lips on yours. If you were about to eat one fire boiled egg and moi-moi covered in palm oil, imagine the smell of the sacrifice as you were about to eat it.

6. Enjoy your dream.

At this point, your dream will start coming back to you from where you stopped as if you just pressed play on your Netflix. Just continue your dream and ensure that you finish it this time before you wake up because we don鈥檛 know how you鈥檒l resume your dream again. Kiss your spirit husband (whatever else you want to do is not our business) Anything that happens after is not our concern. Good luck.

Today鈥檚 Man Like is Mayowa 鈥�鈥� Alabi, a visual artist, videographer, graphic designer and illustrator with the BBC. He talks about experiencing different social classes while growing up, an incident that made it difficult for him to ask for help and the inspiration for his art.

What was growing up like for you?

I like to say I had a bit of two worlds. My parents didn鈥檛 want me to be so spoiled that I would be dependent on them but also didn鈥檛 want me so close to the streets that I would become wayward.听 I would leave Ketu in the morning surrounded by poor students heading to public schools to Baptist Boys College in Obanikoro. I was an ajebutter in Ketu, and never quite fit in at school because I wasn鈥檛 rich like my mates. I couldn鈥檛 relate to their discussions about their vacation trips abroad or cartoons they had watched on satellite TV.

My parents tried to teach me perspective. They would sometimes send me to my rich uncle鈥檚 house for the holiday so I didn鈥檛 feel too out of place with more privileged people. I went to fancy restaurants and had lunch on cruise ships.

I also spent time with my cousins in Bariga where I got close and personal to the 鈥渟treet life.鈥� I loved it for how relaxing and dangerous it was. I got the freedom to buy street food and go to game centres.

Combining the experiences taught me how to navigate Lagos, regardless of which side of the divide I interact with. I guess I found a way to balance both.

What were the finances in your home like?

In the words of M.I, we didn鈥檛 grow up poor but we didn鈥檛 grow up rich. I was an only child so I didn鈥檛 lack basic needs.  I guess it was easy for them to raise me. There were days when getting by was a struggle but my parents made sure I didn鈥檛 lack basic needs.

How was your relationship with your parents?

Growing up, I was closer to my dad than my mum because I felt like she didn鈥檛 understand me鈥� my dad just seemed more in tune with me than my mom. As we grew older, we began to find common ground on issues.  

There was an incident that drove a wedge between my parents and me for a long time.

What happened?

Growing up, I didn鈥檛 demand much. But in my final year in secondary school, I really wanted an Xbox. Things were going well for my family, so I told my parents that if I passed my WAEC exams really well, they would buy me an Xbox. They agreed.

Because WAEC results don鈥檛 get released until later in the year, my school used a mock WAEC exam to determine awardees at the speech and prize-giving day. Unfortunately, I hadn鈥檛 paid much attention to the mock examination because I was working super hard on my exams on WAEC. My parents were disappointed that I didn鈥檛 win any prize, and they felt I was smart enough to get at least one award, even if it was in Yoruba. They said they weren鈥檛 buying me the Xbox like they promised. I was gutted. It didn鈥檛 matter that later on in the year when the WAEC result came out and I did really well 鈥�  they didn鈥檛 keep to our agreement. It was at the point I determined that I would never rely on them for anything I wanted. I had to find a way to make money.

Omo. What did you do?

I鈥檝e been drawing for as long as I can remember. When I got out of secondary school, I didn鈥檛 enter the university immediately because I wanted to study law but I was offered English education instead. During that year, I started learning graphic design.

And then?

I still didn鈥檛 get into law the following year. This time, I was offered political science, and I took it. 

It was a depressing period for me. But I think if I wasn鈥檛 studying political science, I wouldn鈥檛 have been able to find my dream career as an artist. I鈥檇 probably be somewhere saying 鈥淢y lord鈥� to a judge in a stuffy wig and gown if I had gotten law like I wanted.

I was getting money from designing flyers in Unilag for 2k-5k. In my third year, I got a job with Co-Creation Hub (CCHUB), where I worked for six years.

What did your parents think?

They didn鈥檛 know until my final year. I was getting a salary and an allowance. I was balling every month, ordering stuff from ASOS. During the holidays, I would ask to go back to the hostel. I said I wanted to go and study for the new semester, but the truth was I just wanted to be able to go to work. They found out about it in my final year, and I think they were relieved because they didn鈥檛 want me to be job hunting after school 

Six years after joining CCHUB, I left and became a freelance artist. 

Where do you get inspiration for your art from?

Frankly, I copy. It comes from looking at other people鈥檚 work and thinking, 鈥淚f this artist can do this, I should give it a shot.鈥� This doesn鈥檛 mean that I rip off the artist. I just want to see what the process would feel like. At the end of it, a distinct style comes out. I do that to make sure I never run out of ideas.

The inspiration for my art comes from Lagos. I used to use public transport a lot 鈥� danfos and BRTs. And every so often, I鈥檇 happen on an interesting scenario like a fight after two cars had brushed each other. My art gives me an opportunity to explore things I feel strongly about. 

Like what?

Independence. I鈥檓 an only child, so I鈥檝e been on my own right from the jump. I鈥檓 used to doing things on my own. 

The Xbox incident with my parents also made it difficult for me to ask for help, from them or anyone else. People think I鈥檓 standoffish or snobbish because I like to do things on my own. I鈥檓 learning to manage to ask and receive help when I need it.

I hope you do. What are your plans for the future?

In the short term, I鈥檓 trying to stack up enough cash so I can focus on my long-term plan, establishing art schools in Nigeria. A lot of focus is placed on technical subjects like medicine and engineering with little attention paid to the arts. There鈥檚 a lot of artistict talent in Nigeria that just needs to be nurtured.

That鈥檚 interesting. When you鈥檙e trying to relax from work, what do you do?

On some days, I鈥檓 either sleeping, watching something on Netflix or playing video games. On others, I鈥檓 just talking to a friend.

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