This is Solana鈥檚 Story As Told To Sofiyah 

I don鈥檛 remember much about my childhood, but I do remember music. My mum played a lot of , , and other Yoruba artists she loves around the house, so those sounds were a core part of my earliest memories.

Maybe that鈥檚 the reason why music always felt natural to me. I wrote my first song when I was six, although I honestly can鈥檛 remember what inspired it. People often ask me when I decided I wanted to become an artist, but I don鈥檛 think there was ever a specific moment. One could say music has just always been the way I express myself in this world. If I feel a certain emotion, experience something, or have a story I want to tell, I usually process it by writing and singing. There was never a time when I sat down and decided to start making music. It has always just been my normal way of life.

It wasn鈥檛 until my second year at university that this normal part of my life began to feel like something more. I had a roommate who worked at a recording studio, and she would always see me writing and singing in our room. One day, she decided to take me to the studio, and I believe that was when I started recording properly. Looking back, that was the beginning of my journey as an artist, but at the time, I wasn鈥檛 thinking about it as a career decision. I just found myself doing something I had always done.

It also explains why I鈥檝e never really questioned whether music was the right path for me. While I do love fashion and creating things, music is the one thing I feel I can truly excel at. It is the one thing I can do well, and anything else I try would probably not give me the same joy and satisfaction.

Even though music has always been a part of me, and I was sure of what I could create, I didn鈥檛 get to where I am today alone. My friends were some of the first people who believed in me. I was always the girl writing songs and singing, and they were the ones reminding me that what I was creating was really good. Their encouragement gave me the confidence to keep taking myself seriously.

That confidence grew even more when I started working with . He helped me develop my sound, pushed me to explore more creatively and gave me a safe space to express myself. One thing you should know is that we both love experimenting, so working together has always felt seamless and easy.

That shared love of experimentation is also why I have never liked putting myself into a single genre box. People often describe my sound as Yorupop (Yoruba Pop), and I understand why, because my culture is a big part of who I am, but Yoruba music is only one part of my identity as an artist. I don鈥檛 want to create from a place where I feel boxed in.

I would love to keep exploring different sounds and finding new ways to express myself. If someone who has never heard my music asked me to describe it, I would say I鈥檓 an experimental artist, but no matter what sound I explore, I still want people to always hear that Solana stamp.

That exact mindset shaped . The title means 鈥渄arkness鈥� in Yoruba, and the song is about leaving a difficult place behind, but to be honest, I didn鈥檛 want it to feel like a sad song. I wanted it to show that you don鈥檛 have to leave darkness in a sad way. You can leave it happily, step into the light and find joy again. It is a song that carries a heavy message, but it is still a lot of fun.

Looking back, it鈥檚 quite interesting that Okunkun almost stayed unreleased. I recorded it in 2023, but when some people in the industry heard it, they had their reservations. They questioned whether Nigerians would connect with it. They felt it wasn鈥檛 the kind of sound people were used to hearing and wondered whether listeners would embrace a song that wasn’t Amapiano-led. 

At the time, those opinions affected me more than I admitted. The song remained unreleased for years because I started to question whether they were right, but eventually, I realised I couldn鈥檛 keep creating based on what other people expected from me. 

I had to remind myself why I started making music in the first place. I was making music for myself, and if I loved a song, that had to be enough. The people who connected with it would find it, and if they didn鈥檛, I would still be proud of what I created.

When I finally started teasing Okunkun online, the response reminded me that trusting myself was the right decision. People from Nigeria, Europe, and America connected with the song and loved how different it sounded.

One of my favourite things since releasing Okunkun has been seeing the different meanings people find in the song. Yoruba is such a deep language, and people have interpreted the lyrics in ways I never expected. I love that because it shows how a song can grow beyond the person who created it.

That experience has made me even more excited about everything else I have to share. After releasing Dide and Okunkun, I鈥檓 preparing an EP produced entirely by Killertunes that drops next month. I also have a lot of unreleased songs, some dating back to 2019, that I can鈥檛 wait for people to hear finally. Watch this space.

More than anything, I want to keep making music that feels true to me. I鈥檝e realised that I don鈥檛 have to fit into anyone else鈥檚 idea of what my sound should be. As long as I keep creating, experimenting and sharing the parts of myself that I put into every song, I know exactly where I鈥檓 meant to be. 

Here are reasons why we think Spider-Man is the most Nigerian superhero. 

1. He鈥檚 Broke

With Aunt May gone and no one remembering him, Peter is now poor as hell. Saving New York should have made him rich by now, but his account is in the red. Do you know who can relate to being broke despite working hard? Nigerians.

2. He鈥檚 Resourceful聽

Like Nigerians, Peter Parker is resourceful, and this is why you would see him making his costumes and webbing himself. It would have been nice to outsource these things, but he does not have that money.聽

3. He Deals With Street-Level Crimes

Unlike The Avengers, who primarily face universe-level threats, Spider-Man mostly faces street-level crimes, which Nigeria has plenty of. Just imagine the thought of being able to use your phone while sitting next to a window in a Danfo and not get robbed because all the phone snatchers are afraid of getting their bodies thrown through the wall by Spiderman.聽

4. He鈥檚 Always Going Through One or Two聽

If he鈥檚 not finding out that his crush鈥檚 dad is The Vulture, he鈥檚 getting exposed to the world by a villain, and just when things seem like they can鈥檛 get any worse, he accidentally messes up the universe so badly that everyone he loves forgets he exists. Peter Parker can never catch a break, and do you know who else is always going through one or two things? Nigerians.聽

5. He Has the Problem-Solving Skills to Thrive in Lagos

Peter Parker knows that moving around any other way, say in a car like Batman or on a bike like Captain America, will leave him stuck in traffic until the crime is over. So, he swings instead. That鈥檚 the kind of problem-solving skill Nigeria brings out of you.聽

6. He鈥檚 Adept at Juggling Different Things at Once聽

If he鈥檚 not busy fighting crimes or trying to be a present nephew, he鈥檚 competing at an Academic Decathlon while crushing on MJ. That ability to juggle different things is a trait many Nigerians know all too well, especially those managing multiple hustles without breaking a sweat.聽

In this article, ten women revealed the moment when they checked out of their marriages. 

1. 鈥淚 Can鈥檛 Divorce Him Because I鈥檒l Be Shamed鈥� 鈥� Raliat*, 45

Before we got married, my boyfriend had always cheated on me, and when I wanted to break up with him, he told me that he would stop. I should never have believed him because he never stopped. His cheating got worse after the marriage, to the point where everyone in my neighbourhood was aware of his reputation. 

Among my friends and family, he has made me the butt of the joke, and at first, I kept assuring myself that he would change for the better, but he has not. Being his wife is draining, and although my daughter keeps telling me that I could divorce him, I can鈥檛 because I know how much I鈥檒l be shamed for being a single mother. However, I have completely divorced him in my head, and I鈥檝e stopped having sex with him. My friends keep telling me he鈥檒l just use that as an excuse to cheat, but even when we were having sex, he was still cheating, so what鈥檚 the point? 

2. 鈥淗e Went Behind My Back to Marry Someone鈥� 鈥� Aisha*, 48

In my tenth year of marriage, my husband and his family brought a woman into our house and announced that she would be his second wife. I was absolutely gutted when I heard, and I got so angry when they all expected me to be diplomatic about it. My husband knew my position on marrying more than one wife. He knew I was adamantly against it, and still, he went behind my back to marry someone. When I confronted him about it in front of everyone, he didn鈥檛 even try to apologise and told me he wasn’t obligated to inform me about all the goings-on in his life. He ended it by telling me that I shouldn鈥檛 make a big deal out of nothing because he鈥檚 married to her, and there is nothing I can do about it.

After he said that, I carried our daughter to my parents鈥� house because I genuinely didn鈥檛 want to see him ever again. It was my mother who ended up forcing me to go back and accept the new wife, and while I did that, I started to detach from the marriage completely. It is obvious that he does not respect me or our marriage, so why should I continue to be attached to someone like that? 

3. 鈥淢y Husband is More or Less of a Roommate These Days鈥� 鈥� Titi*, 50聽聽

My husband is a deadbeat husband and father who has done nothing to make my life or my children鈥檚 lives better in any way. He thinks that the only way he can be a present husband is by providing half of his children鈥檚 school fees and giving me a small stipend for household expenses. After that, he clocks out. 

I see my friend鈥檚 husbands giving them money to take care of themselves, and at first, it made me so jealous because my husband has never given me as little as five hundred naira to buy nail oil. One time, I even tried to get him to give me money to get my hair done, and he asked me why I was bothering myself with stupid things like that. I think that was when I realised that I was wasting my time with someone who does not love me.

Instead of wasting my time asking myself and God why my husband does not love me, I put all my energy into my business, which pays me well and has been fulfilling, because I mostly see him as more of a roommate these days. My children say it would be easier to just leave the marriage but honestly? It is too late to start my life all over again.

4. 鈥淚 Became Known as the Wife of the Drunkard鈥� 鈥� Biola*, 60聽

My husband and I have been married for over thirty years now, and for twenty-two years of it, he battled severe alcohol addiction. At first, I didn鈥檛 think too much of it when he started drinking three beers in one sitting, but when he started to come home really drunk and vomit all over the house, I realised that it was bad.

I tried my best to get him to stop. I talked to his friends, his elder siblings, and even his parents in the hopes that they would talk some sense into him, but it didn鈥檛 work. He continued to drink until it became all he was known for on the street we lived on. I became known as the wife of the drunkard, and every job my husband had, he lost because he always went to work drunk. I had to shoulder the entire upkeep of the house because he didn鈥檛 seem to care about making sure our children had food to eat or money to go to school. I began to work from morning to night, and honestly, the exhaustion from that was enough for me to clock out of my marriage. I couldn鈥檛 handle working day and night, and an alcohol-loving husband together. 

My husband is on a path of recovery now, and while I should be excited about it, I don鈥檛 feel anything. For years, I waited for him to turn back into the husband I knew before the alcoholism, and at some point, I got tired of waiting. It would make sense to just leave him since our children are now grown but, what鈥檚 the point when I could have left him earlier?聽

5. 鈥淚 Stopped Seeing Him as Someone I Love鈥� 鈥� Favour*, 30聽

For two years, my husband and my best friend of fifteen years were apparently having an affair right under my nose. I was completely oblivious to it, even though my other friends kept telling me that it was weird that the two of them were so close. I never suspected them because I trusted them not to do something as awful as that to me, but they did. 

I found out about it through one of our mutual friends, who sent me a picture of them kissing. When I saw it, I raised hell. I broke things in the house, screamed, cried, shouted at both of them for hours, and left the house for a long time. After weeks of anger, my body calmed, and I finally processed the betrayal. For two years, they went behind my back, and I didn鈥檛 know. I felt humiliated, and although I knew in that moment that I would still stay with my husband even after what he did, I told myself to stop seeing him as someone I love. 

In my head, it鈥檚 better that way because I know that even with all the grovelling he did when I found out, he would still go back to cheating on me with someone else. I know that I could just leave him and find a new husband, but to me, it鈥檚 better to stay with the devil I鈥檝e known for a long time than an angel I barely know. 

6. 鈥淚 Accepted the Fact That I鈥檓 Married to a Coward鈥� 鈥� Ngozi*, 36

I began to mentally detach from my marriage when I accepted the fact that I鈥檓 married to a coward. My husband鈥檚 family is made up of the most diabolical human beings ever. Ever since I got married to him, I鈥檝e never had a moment of peace with them. I鈥檓 Igbo, he鈥檚 Yoruba, and because of that, they鈥檝e tagged me as the evil girl who is unworthy of their son. Every time they visited, they found something to nitpick and berate me for. They would call me all sorts of derogatory names, and found joy when I cried in front of them. 

The thing is, I think I would not have cared too much about their actions if my husband had supported me, but unfortunately for me, he did not. When they called me worthless because all our children are girls, he did not say anything; when they called my mother useless for not teaching me manners, he stopped me from saying anything, and when his eldest sister flogged our lastborn till the point where she got bruised, he shouted at me for confronting his sibling. It was then that I realised that he is a coward, and there is no point expecting him to be there for me. He is my husband, but he hardly ever acts like that, and I cannot pretend everything is okay. 

7. 鈥淚 Regret the Day My Husband Found Purpose in Religion鈥� 鈥� Samiat*, 33

My husband is a big Alfa in our community, and because of this, he dedicates most of his time to others rather than to his family. It might seem blasphemous to say this, but I regret the day my husband found his so-called purpose in religion. I went from having my husband鈥檚 attention 24/7 to barely having him in the house. I do not have a problem with him responding to other people’s needs, but when he ignores his family because of them, that鈥檚 just unacceptable. 

Our baby boy is ten, and he barely knows anything about his dad because he鈥檚 not even home. When he鈥檚 home, the only thing he cares about is if his son is up to date with his Madrasah (Arabic school). He does not even know I changed our son鈥檚 Madrasah because his last ustaz (teacher) almost killed him for me. My husband is a good man, but he鈥檚 emotionally unavailable, and that鈥檚 one thing I cannot accept. I鈥檓 only choosing not to leave the marriage because I don鈥檛 have the energy to deal with judgmental family members. 

8. 鈥淚 Can鈥檛 See Myself Doing Forever With Him Again鈥� 鈥� Tanya*, 30

My husband is someone who cannot regulate his emotions, and because of that, he makes everyone in the house uncomfortable. If I do something he is not satisfied with, he is quick to say all sorts of things to me. I grew up without flinching because my parents never shouted or laid a hand on their children, but I now flinch at every sound because my husband loves to declare his displeasure loudly. 

We鈥檝e been married for eight years now, and honestly, I don鈥檛 see us making it to ten years together. He has his sweet moments, and there are days I’m reminded of why I fell in love with him, but I can鈥檛 see myself doing forever with him again. 

9. 鈥淎 Man Who Loves Me Would Not Slap Me鈥� 鈥� Quineth*, 29聽

The day my husband slapped me was the day I mentally left the marriage. I do not remember what caused us to start arguing that day, but I鈥檓 sure it was not serious enough to put his hand on me in front of my younger sister. I felt completely humiliated, and for days, I kept asking myself why he did that to me until I concluded that I didn鈥檛 deserve what he did to me. Although he and his family begged and stopped me from leaving the marriage, and he has not done anything like that again, I don鈥檛 feel like I’m in love with him like I was before. A man who loves me would not slap me. 

10. 鈥淗e Doesn鈥檛 View Me as a Woman With Her Own Agency鈥� 鈥� Mariam*, 45

I got married to my husband when I was 22, and he was 30, and we鈥檝e been married for 23 years now. I understand that it seems beautiful that we have lasted that long, but I mentally checked out after our tenth anniversary, when I saw women in their twenties going out and having fun. I鈥檓 aware that I made the choice to get married, but I resent him because he had his fun before getting married, and I did not.

Then, I got married, and I had to be the perfect Muslim wife who covers her hair and does not do anything to embarrass her husband. There have been many times when I tried to break out of that bubble of expectations, and he kept pushing me back in it without talking to me. He just expects me to do anything he asks me to do, and it鈥檚 hard not to see that he doesn鈥檛 view me as a woman with her own agency. I wish I could leave him, but I know I won鈥檛 be accepted by my family or community afterwards. 

I genuinely loved my main job, but I lived on the mainland and hated the Lagos Island traffic. It was exhausting, and as much as Lagos was home, I never got used to the daily stress. Eventually, I realised I needed a change.

I was young and wanted more from life. I have always believed that no goal is unattainable if I am willing to work for it. So, when the idea of studying in the UK crossed my mind, I refused to ignore it. I confided in a friend, even though I did not even have a passport at the time. She was the one who told me the first step was to apply for a Nigerian passport and gather all my documents before applying to universities in London.

Once I had a clear plan, I told my parents about it too. The support I received from my family and friends turned studying abroad from something I simply imagined into something I was determined to achieve. From the moment I started the process, I knew I had to see it through. By the age of 26, I had applied to study Business with International Management at a university in London, and once everything was in motion, turning back was never an option.

I really could not have done any of it alone. At one point during the process, I needed about 1.1 million naira to keep things moving toward my move. I called three friends and had the full amount before 6 pm that same day because they were confident I would pay it back. My mother prayed over the whole process constantly, because she was scared that I was giving up something stable to chase something uncertain. Honestly, I understood her fear. I was leaving a job I loved and a country I knew for one where I had no family at all.

By the night before I travelled, that fear had settled into me too, sitting alongside the excitement in equal measure. I did not know what to expect when I landed in London, but I have never been afraid to take bold steps.

My friend, Anu, also made my transition much easier. Before I even left Nigeria, she had helped me look into houses and jobs, and the minute I landed, she helped me settle in properly.

School started almost immediately, so I did not get much time to fully take in my new reality before I had to start living it. As a student, I was allowed to work twenty hours a week, and my week fell into a structured rhythm: school on Mondays and Tuesdays, work on Wednesdays and Thursdays, and weekends spent on schoolwork or exploring London with friends I had made through school and church.

That rhythm made the days manageable, but it did not make every day smooth-sailing. To date, one particular evening still stands out to me. It was winter, everywhere was dark by 6 pm, and it was cold. I was rushing to catch my train when I slipped on the wet ground and missed it anyway. After that happened, I walked into a nearby restaurant, got food, and sat there staring into a blank space, quietly rethinking every decision that had brought me to that point. However, I did not let myself dwell on it for too long because I knew it was just a phase and that it would pass.

Around this time, I began to lean further into content creation. My page still had a mostly Nigerian audience, and I wanted to grow a UK following, too, so I started sharing what a day in my life as an international student looked like, along with outfit ideas and lifestyle content. My audience slowly began to shift and grow alongside me.

In 2024, I had a baby girl, and that year became the most beautiful and most challenging of my life. Things did not work out with her father, so not long after she was born, I found myself raising her alone, in a country with no family nearby. I had to figure out, almost entirely on my own, how to earn a living and care for both of us with very little support. Some months I paid rent and other bills and was left with less than fifty pounds, hoping a brand deal would come through before the month ran out.

My friends lent me money whenever things got hard, and my church helped more than once, too. Through it all, I kept posting fashion, lifestyle, and motherhood content, but I never mentioned what was actually happening behind the scenes. The thing about social media is that it makes everyone鈥檚 lives look so perfect, and since I did not want to be judged for struggling as a single mother, I carried my pain alone. My daughter and I always looked our best in public, and no one watching knew how much I was holding together on my own.

Eventually, I became honest with myself enough to know that I needed real help, the kind only my mother could give. Childcare in the UK is expensive, and I could not focus on work without someone to care for my daughter, so I saved up and began the process of bringing her over. That process stretched me in every sense. I was still postpartum, living on maternity allowance that was not much to begin with, and now had to pull from it to cover the cost of her visa. Because of this, I made sure the Home Office understood exactly what I was dealing with, that I was a new mother and a single parent who genuinely needed her mother鈥檚 support, and they granted the visa.

By the time she arrived, I was more exhausted than I had ever been, worn down by sleepless newborn nights, a caesarean recovery, and the weight of doing everything alone. Her arrival changed everything. She took on the cooking and cleaning, helped care for my daughter, and, for the first time in months, gave me the chance to rest properly. Slowly, I started to feel like myself again, not just as a mother, but as a person.

Life had just begun to steady when, in July 2025, something happened that changed everything. I am not comfortable sharing what, but it was a serious incident that pulled me into a cycle of police stations, court appearances, and lawyers. It was traumatic enough that I made a decision: I was never going to carry that kind of weight in silence again. So I shared a piece of my story publicly for the first time.

It reached far more people than I expected. My page grew from around 3,000 followers to 25,000 in just three months, but the growth itself was not what surprised me most. It was the flood of messages that followed, hundreds of women writing to say they had lived through something similar. My experience was not unique. It had never been.

I began responding to those women personally, encouraging them, praying with some, and reassuring others that things would get better. I did not take it lightly that so many trusted me with their stories. I believed that everything I went through happened so I could be in a position to meet these women. My content shifted too, away from just mother-daughter moments and more toward the real issues affecting women navigating life in the UK.

As my community grew, I hit the lowest point of my life, and that was searching for a stable home. My daughter and I moved through three different cities and stayed with three different families before we finally found a flat of our own. The day we settled in, I finally felt like I could breathe for the first time in a while. 

It was then that I started rebuilding in earnest, returning to the things I loved and opening myself up further to the community that had formed around me. That visibility eventually turned into a career of its own, and I have now worked with more than fifty brands, both in the UK and Nigerian brands with a presence in London.

Honestly, if I could sit with my past self, I would tell her that everything would be fine, that the pain she was carrying was nothing compared to the joy waiting on the other side, and that the pain itself was simply part of the journey. My life is not perfect, but it is beautiful, and everything I went through shaped me into someone more resilient than I used to be.

To every woman, especially every single mother, quietly carrying something heavy right now, I want you to know that what you are going through is not peculiar to you. 

So many women are living the same reality in silence, and there is no shame in that. On the other side of the breaking is often the best season of your life. Do not let the judgment of people who never walked your path convince you otherwise. I saw the beauty in mine. You will see it in yours too.

There鈥檚 quite a lot of misunderstanding surrounding money-smart folks. A lot of people tend to equate money-smart with knowing complicated investment terms or having plenty of money in the bank, but that鈥檚 not it. Being money-smart is actually about making thoughtful decisions with the money you have, building healthy financial habits, and learning how to make your money work for you over time.

If you鈥檝e ever wondered where you fall, these everyday situations might have the answer.

1. You Don鈥檛 Feel Like Spending All Your Money the Moment It Lands

Whether it鈥檚 your salary, your monthly allowance from a guardian or money from a side quest, money rarely sits in your account for too long. Between the occasional black tax, that laptop you鈥檝e been saying you would get, and one retail therapy after another, there鈥檚 always a reason to spend.

If your first instinct is to put a considerable sum aside before spending the rest, you鈥檙e already building an impressive habit that can serve you well in the long run. It doesn鈥檛 actually matter whether you鈥檙e saving 鈧�10,000 or 鈧�100,000; what genuinely matters here is getting into the habit of pouring money into yourself first. 

2. You Think Before You Bid Goodbye to Your Money 

Let鈥檚 be honest, we鈥檝e all had that one friend or family member who has told us they鈥檝e found the next big investment opportunity that could change our lives for the better, and they try to convince us to jump on board before it鈥檚 too late. 

Instead of straight-up jumping into it out of excitement, you take a step back and ask a few important questions. You want to know how it works, what you鈥檙e signing up for, and whether it fits your financial end goals. Taking the time to understand what you鈥檙e putting your money into is one of the simplest ways to make better financial decisions. 

3. You Find It Easier to Save When You Have a Goal

Saving becomes much easier when you鈥檙e working towards something that means a lot to you. It could be your rent, a new phone to replace your current dying one, a laptop to advance your career, a trip, or even the emergency fund you鈥檝e been telling yourself you鈥檒l build one day.

This is where Stanbic IBTC鈥檚 comes to save the day. Its Target Savings feature lets you save toward specific goals, making it easier to stay consistent and build concrete money habits that can help you save over time. 

4. You鈥檝e Started Wondering What Comes After Saving

Most people鈥檚 money journey starts with saving, but it鈥檚 only human to start asking the important questions after a while. Once you鈥檝e built the discipline to save consistently, you may find yourself wondering how else your money can grow.

To be frank, you don鈥檛 have to be an expert to take an interest in investing. Being curious and learning how it works will make it less intimidating for you. Another bonus is that it can help you feel more confident about the choices you make with your money. 

5. You Learn Better When You鈥檙e Having Fun

Not everyone enjoys reading long articles about money, but the truth is, most people enjoy a challenge, especially when there鈥檚 something to gain from it.

That鈥檚 what Stanbic IBTC InvestBeta Season 3 is designed to do. As an interactive investment game show, it gives young Nigerians a chance to test their investing knowledge. It allows them to learn new things along the way and stand a chance to win exciting prizes. Instead of making financial education feel intimidating and boring, it turns learning into something fun and rewarding.

If you can鈥檛 take our word, maybe you would take the word of Victor Chidubem, one of the winners of InvestBeta Season 2, who described the experience as 鈥渇un, educative and insightful.鈥� He also calls InvestBeta an amazing opportunity that participants won鈥檛 regret.聽

(Victor Chidubem)

6. You鈥檙e Always Looking for Better Ways to Handle Your Money

Nobody gets everything right from the start, and becoming money smart isn鈥檛 a miracle that happens overnight. It happens when you keep looking for better ways to save, spend and plan, even if the improvements are small.

That mindset is something Odira Osegbo, the first female winner of InvestBeta Season 2, has carried into her own financial journey. Speaking about how she invests, she said, 鈥淚 am doing the money market fund and the equity fund. Money market because it is safe. So, that is what I mainly use for capital preservation because in money market, your money is preserved.鈥�

(Odira Osegbo)

That鈥檚 why Stanbic IBTC is creating opportunities for young Nigerians to build stronger financial habits. Through initiatives like InvestBeta Season 3 and tools like BluNest, the goal is to make learning about money feel digestible and approachable.

7. You鈥檙e Ready to Find Out How Money Smart You Really Are

Yes, being street-smart can help you avoid costly mistakes that you鈥檒l regret for the rest of your life, while being book-smart can open various doors for you in life. Being money smart, however, gives you the confidence to make better financial decisions at every stage of your life.

If you鈥檙e still wondering whether it鈥檚 worth putting your money knowledge to the test, Odira has a simple answer. In her words, you have 鈥渘othing to lose and a whole lot to gain.鈥� If that sounds like your kind of challenge, Stanbic IBTC InvestBeta Season 3 is definitely a great place to start.

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1. Bidemi Zakariyau Akande

Founder and CEO of LSFPR

2. 聽Nike Fagbule

Founder and CEO Of Zebra Stripes Network

3. Ijeoma Balogun

Founder and CEO Of Redrick PR

4. Tokunbo- George Taylor

Founder Of Skot Communications聽

5. Subuola Oyeleye

CEO Of Beauty Hut Africa

6. Jola Ayeye聽

Co- Founder and Host of I Said What I Said Podcast

7. Temitope Adenusi

Founder Of Couleurz Global

8. Virtuous Irianele

Founder Of Gratia Co Media and Host Of Is This A Safe Space? Pod

9. Chinasa Anukam

Creator and Host Of Is This Seat Taken? Talk Show

10. Adedoyin Jaiyesinmi

Founder Of The Comms Avenue

11. Bukuola Sawyerr Izeogu

Earlier this week, an X user posted a tweet that went viral. 

This tweet, displaying an illustration of a mother beating her daughter while blood pools out of her, sparked conversations about a girl鈥檚 mother being her first bully. A lot of women backed this up by documenting the abuse they faced at the hands of their mothers. 

have found that mothers are the most common perpetrators of physical violence against their children, and this is usually because they spend the most hours alone with them. More contact often means more chances for harm, whether that harm comes from exhaustion, poverty, or something more sinister.

A lot of these women became mothers before they had the chance to become emotionally regulated adults. They were still carrying their own unresolved trauma, maybe from their own mother, and when marriage adds even more weight through a husband鈥檚 neglect, abuse, or absence, that repressed frustration has to go somewhere. That 鈥榮omewhere鈥� is usually her first daughter. She often feels she can鈥檛 direct her anger at her husband, so she turns it on her daughter instead, making life unbearable for her. 

There鈥檚 also a more disturbing layer to it, where some mothers see their daughters as competition for their husband鈥檚 attention, going as far as calling them their father鈥檚 鈥渟ide chick.鈥� It鈥檚 the kind of dynamic explored in recent on narcissistic mother-daughter relationships, which identifies maternal envy, jealousy, and competition as recurring themes when mothers begin to see their daughters as rivals rather than children to love and protect.

A lot of times when conversations about a mother being abusive come up, you’ll find people saying, “give her grace, it’s her first time living,” and while nuance is always needed in conversations, it鈥檚 important to note that it鈥檚 the daughter鈥檚 first time on earth, too. She shouldn鈥檛 have to exist in a world where the person who is supposed to love her the most keeps leaving bruises on her body. 

Mothers need to show up for their daughters in every sense of the word, not just by feeding and clothing them and calling that love. A daughter should never grow up believing abuse is another form of affection or spend her adult years trying to unlearn the idea that pain is simply part of being loved by her mother. Raising a child requires patience, emotional maturity, and a willingness to be there for them even on your worst days. Daughters should never become the safest place to dump the anger and hurt you cannot direct anywhere else.

Daughters are human beings who deserve love and safety like everyone else. Again, it鈥檚 their first time living too, and they shouldn鈥檛 have to live their life wondering why their mother does not love them.

A basketball court is usually perceived as a place where players compete, practice, and relax after games. The newly revamped American Cola Basketball Court, located in Ilupeju, offers this, but it is now representing something bigger than that. It has transitioned from just a mere basketball court to a lively community space where sport, creativity, and self-expression meet, giving Nigerian youths a safe space to create, thrive, and connect. 

Here are six reasons why the American Cola Basketball Court is more than just a sports arena. 

1. It Honours Nigerian Urban Youth Culture聽

The revamped court mirrors the creative, bold, and rebellious spirit of the young Nigerian. When you sit down to take a look at the design and the environment, you realise that everything was carefully curated to foster a spirit of individuality and encourage youth to make a name for themselves in a world where such individuality is often discouraged. 

2. The Murals Tell Stories Beyond Basketball聽

Some might think that the court鈥檚 murals were put there just for the aesthetics, but no, actually. These murals were actually inspired by Nigerian urban youth and their expression of freedom. The artwork transforms the space from just a basketball court to a gallery where identity, freedom, and creativity are heavily celebrated. 

3. The Graffiti Walls Represent Endless Possibilities聽

The hand-painted graffiti walls not only give the space a great look, but also represent the endless possibilities available to young Nigerians. The walls bring personality, meaning, and colour, turning the court into a space that inspires creativity at every turn. 

4. It Is a Hub That Doesn鈥檛 Only Center Basketball聽

Although basketball remains the core of the court, the space has been stretched to accommodate so much more. It is now a place where dancers can comfortably rehearse, photographers can roam, creators can film their next content, fashion enthusiasts can express themselves freely, and musicians can share a beautiful moment with their audience. 

5. It Supports Emerging Talent

Even the greats began their journey somewhere. American Cola’s revamp of this court means that talented and expressive youths have an accessible space to develop their skills and showcase their diverse talents without being stifled. 

6. It Brings the Community Together聽

A space like the American Cola Basketball Court offers an opportunity for people from different walks of life to connect, share interests, collaborate, and build lifelong relationships. It does not matter if you are an artist or an athlete; you are sure to find your community there.

In this article, we asked women to share what it was like to be in manipulative relationships, the red flags they overlooked, and the moments that finally pushed them to leave. 

1. 鈥淲henever I Didn鈥檛 Want Sex, She Would Ask Me to Leave Her House鈥� 鈥� Ella*, 25

My first girlfriend was manipulative, and at first, I never paid attention to it because before her, I鈥檇 never experienced anything romantic or sexual, even. At the time, I was dealing with a lot of religious guilt, and before we started dating, I let her know that I wouldn鈥檛 be forthcoming with sex because I was trying to work on myself, and I didn鈥檛 want her to be collateral damage. She let me know she was okay with it, but that was, unfortunately, a lie. 

With her, there were times I would be open to having sex, but there were times that the words in my head would get the best of me, and I wouldn鈥檛 be open to anything sexual. Whenever this happened, she would ask me to leave her place and give me the silent treatment for days. She would ignore calls and messages, and only 鈥渇orgave鈥� me whenever I apologised with sex. 

The first time I found out she was cheating, and I confronted her about it, she said she only started looking outside because I denied her sex. She basically made it my fault, and like a fool, I apologised to her. The silent treatment and the cheating continued to happen, and I accepted them until I started therapy. Then, my eyes opened to how stupid I was. Afterwards, I broke up with her and blocked her across all my socials. 

2. 鈥淭o Get Me To Stay, He Held His Suicidal Tendencies Over Me鈥� 鈥� Cynthia*, 35 

When I started dating my ex-boyfriend, he would say things like 鈥業 love you so much, I would kill myself if you ever leave me鈥�, and for some reason, instead of seeing that as a red flag, I thought it was romantic. I didn鈥檛 know that I was in for an interesting ride with him. 

Ade*, my ex-boyfriend, was draining. He was the kind of partner who wanted to know where I was and who I was with, and if I were away from him for more than 24 hours, he would somehow guilt me into coming over. It started to become annoying, but when I decided to break up with him, he overdosed on sleeping pills, and out of concern, I went back to him because, apparently, I was 鈥榯he only one he had in his life鈥�. 

To get me to stay in the relationship, Ade began to hold his suicidal tendencies over me. I couldn鈥檛 even call him out on anything he did because he was quick to let me know he would kill himself if I left him, and I didn鈥檛 want someone else鈥檚 blood on my hands. I began to feel trapped in the relationship, but I couldn鈥檛 leave him. There was a time I even rejected a job with higher pay because it was going to take me to another city, and I was so scared of Ade harming himself over it. 

I stayed with him until my friends decided enough was enough and staged an intervention. Having all six of them talk sense into me until it broke through my head was my wake-up call. It wasn鈥檛 easy breaking up with Ade because I still constantly felt guilt, but having my friends behind me made things easier. It has been three years since I broke up with him, and while I鈥檓 happier than ever, I鈥檓 also taking a break from relationships. 

3. 鈥淭hey Made Me Feel Guilty About Having a Life of My Own鈥� 鈥� Kemi*, 29 

My ex-partner expressed their manipulation by making me feel guilty for having a life of my own. At first, I thought it was cute that they wanted to be with me all the time, but then it became a constant thing. I would tell them I鈥檓 going out with my friends, and they would somehow guilt-trip me into coming over to their side instead by telling me they missed me so much and they loved me. I was in love with them at the time, so common sense stayed away from me. 

At some point, everyone in my life, except them, barely saw me. I work from home, so they would tell me I could just come to their place to work. Before I knew it, I barely began to see my loved ones like I usually did. If I wanted to go to my parents鈥� house, my ex would employ tears and tell me I didn鈥檛 love them. If I wanted to go to an event with my friends, they would choose that day to tell me they had a place they really wanted to take me to, so I would cancel on my friends. 

I didn鈥檛 even notice they鈥檇 begun to isolate me from the rest of the people in my life until the day we fought, and I realised that I couldn鈥檛 call anyone to rant about the situation. It was that moment of realisation that finally pushed me into breaking up with them. 

4. 鈥淚 Let Myself Go Along With His Whims, Even the Uncomfortable Ones鈥� 鈥� Bisi*, 21 

When I was with my ex-boyfriend, I was a weak-willed people-pleaser, so it made sense that I let myself go along with his whims, even with the ones I wasn鈥檛 comfortable with. We dated in university, and I remember when he told me he loved me three weeks after we started talking, and I thought it was nice that he was a man who knew what he wanted. I didn鈥檛 think he was going to hold that love over me. 

He would ask us to try things out and end it with 鈥榠f you love me, you鈥檒l do it,鈥� and even though I was uncomfortable with most of them, I would try them. We attended a private university that kicks out students for having sex, and yet, we would have sex in secret hideaways at night. I wasn鈥檛 comfortable with all of it, but whenever I tried to let him know that I didn鈥檛 want to risk getting expelled because I was caught having sex, he would tell me I didn鈥檛 love him and proceed to give me silent treatment for days. The only way I could get him to talk to me again was by telling him I鈥檓 open to having sex. 

It wasn鈥檛 until one of my friends got suspended for two semesters for having sex before I stood my ground and told him I didn鈥檛 want to have sex on school grounds anymore. He gave me the silent treatment after that, and the moment he realised that I wasn鈥檛 going to be guilted anymore, he broke up with me. 

5. 鈥淗e Would Tell Me to Watch Porn to Be Better in Bed鈥� 鈥� Roqeebah*, 27 

My ex took me through the wringer for two years, and every day I still wonder what charm he used on me. He would constantly withhold sex with me for the silliest reasons, like my guy friend hugging me, and instead of me seeing the red flag that was flashing its lights at me, I would ignore it and apologise to him every time he did that.

There were countless times I would get 鈥榟ey sis鈥� DMs from women he made advances to, and whenever I confronted him about it, he would get out of it by telling me the women were lying to me, or he would outrightly pour the blame on me. He would tell me that if I were experienced in bed, he wouldn鈥檛 be cheating on me, and he would end it by telling me to watch porn so I could at least be better in bed. Over the course of our relationship, I watched over a hundred porn videos because I really wanted to be good and perfect for him. A part of me knew it wasn鈥檛 normal for someone who claimed to love me to do this to me, but I still stayed because he鈥檇 somehow made me feel like no one would love me as he did. 

I honestly believe I would have stayed with him if my visa hadn鈥檛 been approved, and I鈥檓 so glad we are no longer together because he was so evil to me. 

6. 鈥淚 Contracted an STD Because of Them鈥� 鈥� Latifah*, 26

My ex-girlfriend is the biggest gaslighter I know, and till now, I鈥檒l never forgive her for what she put me through. She and I ran in the same circles, so now and then, someone would come to tell me that they saw her kissing another girl at an event I didn鈥檛 go to. When I gently confronted her about it and told her I would forgive her as long as she told me the truth, she would pull out the tears and ask why I was believing lies being told about her. 

Whenever there was picture evidence, she would lie and tell me that the person she was kissing was a friend, and ask me if I didn鈥檛 kiss my friends just for fun. She never apologised, and it got to a point where I couldn鈥檛 tell what was right or wrong. My friends even got tired of me because of all the evidence in my face, and I still chose to believe the person who was constantly lying to me for the fun of it. I think I convinced myself that she loved me, and that was all that mattered. Me and her against the world. 

Breaking up with her never crossed my mind. She鈥檇 promised me that we would leave the country together to live our lives freely in an accepting country, and I held on to that until I contracted an STD. When I got the test results from the clinic, I didn鈥檛 think too much about it and broke up with her. She was the only one I was having sex with, but I wasn鈥檛 the only one she was having sex with, and that put my health in danger. I wasn鈥檛 going to stay with her after that. 

7. 鈥淗e Would Cheat and Tell Me to Pray Harder鈥� 鈥� Sandra*, 35

My ex had a habit of making everything my fault. He would cheat and say it鈥檚 my fault because I didn鈥檛 pray enough. He would miss important work events he was supposed to attend and blame me for not reminding him. He would forget that I鈥檇 planned our monthiversary dates, stand me up, and blame me for not informing him, even though I’d done so countless times. He never took responsibility for anything and made me feel bad every time he committed actions that should have genuinely gotten him stoned. 

The constant blaming made me feel like something was wrong with me. I thought that surely, I must be an awful person. After I caught him cheating and he blamed me for not praying enough, I went back to religion. I kept pleading with God to stop his wandering eyes, but it felt like all my prayers went unanswered. He still cheated heavily on me, and every time, he would tell me to pray harder. Sometimes, he would even kneel and pray with me. That was such an embarrassing time in my life, and I鈥檓 so glad that I got the strength to leave him in the end. If I didn鈥檛, I think he would have probably ruined my life. 

8. 鈥淚 Would Grovel for Days Just to Get Him to Talk to Me鈥� 鈥� Amina*, 29 

My ex-boyfriend was a big baby who had a nasty way of ruining my mood every time. I can actually count on one hand the number of times I was happy in that relationship. He was always in a bad mood and made sure I knew it. He would call and text me at different times of day to rant angrily about an inconvenience he was going through.

At first, I didn鈥檛 mind, but it got to the point where every call from him made my heart rate spike because I knew I would have to abandon whatever important thing I was doing to entertain him. If I showed little concern, he would turn his anger on me and accuse me of not loving him as I said I did. I had to prove my love and care for him by listening to his constant rants that frankly never made sense. It genuinely just felt like he wanted to ruin my mood simply because he was angry at something. He never understood time or place. He would call me at work and get mad at me for not answering on the first ring. He tended to blow everything out of proportion, and I would grovel for days just so he could get to talk to me again. Being with him was frankly exhausting. 

9. 鈥淪he Ruined My Relationship With Food鈥� 鈥� Kike*, 28

My ex-girlfriend had a thing for constantly pointing out my weight. I am fat, and I鈥檇 never been ashamed of it until she entered my life. She started by shaming me for eating food, and then she moved to subtly asking me if I wanted to give the gym a try. I acted like it didn鈥檛 get to me, but then she started saying she couldn鈥檛 have sex with me because I wasn鈥檛 attractive. She would tell me that maybe I should start using the gym so I would be more appealing to her in bed. 

The thing is, I knew that it was wrong of her to do that to me, and even my friends told me she was treating me badly, but I somehow ignored all that. I told myself that she was doing it out of the goodness of her heart and that she cared for my health. Never mind the fact that my fatness was moderate, and I wasn鈥檛 nearing obese levels or anything. 

Because I wanted to appeal to her badly, I developed an eating disorder and started using the gym. If not for my friends who decided that they couldn鈥檛 watch me kill myself over a woman, I think I would have still stayed with my ex, but I鈥檓 happy I didn鈥檛. She ruined my relationship with food, and I don鈥檛 wish her good things. 

10. 鈥淗e Always Reminded Me That There Were Other Women He Could Pick鈥� 鈥� Amirah*, 30 

I broke up with my ex a month ago because I started to realise that if I stayed with him for a long time, I was going to lose myself. Apart from the fact that he had a habit of telling me what clothes looked ugly on my body, he was not the kind of person I had healthy communication with. 

If he did something bad and I tried to call him out on it, he would get mad at me instead of acknowledging he did something wrong. He would then remind me that he had many other women to choose from, but he chose me, so I needed to be grateful to him. Basically, he wanted me to be at his feet, thanking him. 

He didn鈥檛 want me to call him out on his wrong actions. He didn鈥檛 like to acknowledge the fact that he鈥檚 a human who makes mistakes, but whenever I did something wrong, he would make it an issue for 40 days and nights. I endured his behaviour for about a year before I decided that I had to put myself first and break up with him. He didn鈥檛 take it well, but that鈥檚 his business.

Next Read: Mothers Share the Reality of Raising Children With Disabilities

Here are some of the things many women wish they’d learned much earlier.

1. A Healthy Vagina Shouldn’t Smell Like Flowers or Perfumes

A vagina isn’t supposed to smell like roses. A mild, natural scent is completely normal, and trying to mask it with scented products can actually do more harm than good.

2. Bleeding or Feeling Pain the First Time You Have Sex isn’t “Normal”

Many women grow up expecting their first time to be painful or bloody, but that’s one of the most common myths about sex. Some people may experience bleeding or discomfort, while many don’t at all. Factors like arousal, lubrication, communication, anxiety, or an underlying medical condition can all affect the experience. Pain or bleeding isn’t something your body is supposed to go through just because it’s your first time.

3. Hormonal Changes Can Trigger Anxiety, Panic Attacks, and Mood Swings

Your hormones don’t just affect your period. They can also influence your emotions, sleep, stress levels, and even trigger anxiety or panic symptoms.

4. Painful Sex isn’t Something You just have to get used to

Sex shouldn’t regularly hurt. Persistent pain deserves attention because it could point to infections, endometriosis, pelvic floor issues, or other treatable conditions.

5. Burnout and Hormonal Imbalance Can Look Similar

Exhaustion, brain fog, poor sleep, and mood changes aren’t always “just stress.” Sometimes your hormones may be part of the picture too.

6. PMOS (previously PCOS) Affects Much More Than just Fertility

PCOS isn’t only about getting pregnant. It can affect your skin, weight, metabolism, mental health, menstrual cycle, and overall wellbeing.

7. Period Pain Shouldn’t leave you unable to function

Needing a heating pad is one thing. Being unable to stand, work, or go to school because of period pain is another, and it’s worth speaking to a doctor about.

8. PMS (Pre-Menstrual Syndrome) and PMDD (Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder) are not the same thing

PMS can be uncomfortable, but PMDD is much more severe. It can seriously affect your mood, relationships, work, and daily life before your period starts.

9. Hormones have a major effect on libido

Your sex drive naturally changes over time. Stress, birth control, pregnancy, menopause, and your menstrual cycle can all affect how much you want sex.

10. Endometriosis is more than just painful period cramps

Endometriosis can cause chronic pelvic pain, painful sex, digestive issues, fatigue, and fertility challenges. It’s far more than “bad cramps.”

11. Iron deficiency can cause constant fatigue

If you’re always tired, dizzy, or out of breath, it might not just be a busy life. Heavy periods can lead to low iron, which is surprisingly common.

12. Heavy bleeding isn’t always normal

Soaking through pads every hour, passing very large clots, or bleeding for many days isn’t something you have to live with. It can be a sign that something needs medical attention.