Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship?听If yes,听.

How long have you been with your partner?

My girlfriend, Roseline, and I have been dating for seven months.

How did you meet?

We met at a house party and sleepover last year. I typically avoid settings like that because I鈥檓 an ambivert. While I love partying and having a good time, I get sick of it when I have to stay for too long. So, I almost didn’t attend, but the host was a close friend I hadn鈥檛 hung out with in forever.

At some point during the night, I got tired and went to hide in the bar at one corner of the room. That鈥檚 where I met Roseline. I鈥檇 seen her in the apartment earlier, but we hadn鈥檛 said anything to each other. She was the only other person at the bar, so we started a conversation. 

We talked for hours about everything from music to movies, and stayed up after most people had crashed. We鈥檇 make out, stop to talk some more and then make out again. It was an intense connection. So intense that I didn鈥檛 even mind that she lived in Ibadan. We started dating almost immediately after.

I鈥檓 screaming. Why did you say Ibadan like that?

I don鈥檛 have anything against the city. I just wasn鈥檛 the biggest fan of long-distance relationships. I鈥檓 always the first to discourage anyone who tells me they鈥檝e found love with someone in a different city. 

Maybe it鈥檚 because women have broken my heart a few times, but I think it鈥檚 already difficult to manage a relationship with someone you see daily, let alone someone several kilometres away.

However, I completely forgot my own no-long-distance-love rule when Roseline came into the picture. I kept telling myself, 鈥淪hebi it鈥檚 Ibadan here, we鈥檒l run it.鈥�

So, how have you guys been 鈥渞unning it鈥�?

In the first few months, we travelled to see each other every weekend. Roseline did most of the travelling because she runs an online business and has a more flexible schedule. Whether I was travelling to Ibadan or she was coming to see me, I handled all the expenses from transportation to accommodation and feeding. 

I share a room-and-parlour apartment with a friend, and Roseline is often uncomfortable with company and says she can鈥檛 be free around my friend. So, whenever she visits, we stay in a hotel for two nights. This also applies when I visit Ibadan. She lives with her sister, so I pay for hotels there too. Then I still have to consider food and dates, because 鈥渨e can鈥檛 just stay indoors all through.鈥�

Yikes. Sounds like you spend a tidy amount on each trip

I spend at least 鈧�150k on each visit. Notice how I said, 鈥淚n the first few months鈥� earlier? About four months into our relationship, I realised how crazy it was that I was spending so much and reduced the trips to once a month, which is still expensive.

I鈥檓 honestly not sure what even possessed me to start this whole travelling-and-staying-in-hotels business. I think I was in the love-struck phase and was eager to do anything to please my babe. Also, around the time we started dating, I made 鈧�3m from a consulting gig and felt rich. Maybe that鈥檚 why I lost my senses for a bit and was spending anyhow. 

Hmmm. Where鈥檚 that 鈧�3m now?

Omo. I can鈥檛 pinpoint one reasonable thing that I used that money for. After withdrawing 鈧�700k from it to replace my iPhone and buy a few clothes, the money just gradually disappeared. 

I know a chunk of it went to funding the Lagos-Ibadan trips and the 鈥渘ew relationship鈥� high. I also bought Roseline a 鈧�140k wig and sent her money a few times. I don鈥檛 even want to think about that money because I was incredibly foolish with it. It was my first million, so to speak, and I thought it would last forever. It didn鈥檛 last four months.

罢丑别听听is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.听Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.听.

You mentioned you and Roseline only see each other once a month now. Did that take some getting used to?

We鈥檙e still getting used to it. Roseline hasn鈥檛 been a big fan of the new arrangement. I fear I introduced her to a lifestyle I can no longer maintain. 

She somehow interprets my reluctance to fund trips as 鈥渘ot wanting her to come over.鈥� The last two times she visited, I insisted we stay in my apartment with my roommate, and she was in a bad mood the whole time. It was as if I knew she didn鈥檛 like a situation, and I was forcing her to be in it.

She鈥檚 said she won鈥檛 visit if we don鈥檛 stay at a hotel. I鈥檓 lowkey fine with that, but every two to three days, she’ll be like, 鈥淪o you aren鈥檛 missing me, abi?鈥� 

Does she know the change is because of money?

I tell her all the time, but I don鈥檛 think she believes me. I think she just assumes I have money somewhere, and I鈥檓 deciding not to spend it on her. 

If she鈥檚 not complaining about us not seeing, she’s complaining that it鈥檚 been a while since I gave her money or bought her anything.

What kind of money conversations do you both have?

We don鈥檛 really talk about money like that, except when she鈥檚 asking me for it, or I鈥檓 telling her I don鈥檛 have. Our relationship is still in its early stages, so we haven鈥檛 gotten to the point where we talk about our income and finances yet. I honestly think that鈥檚 a conversation reserved for people who have been together for a year or two. 

I know not everyone will agree with that, but I think it鈥檚 a bit weird to start asking each other, 鈥淲hat鈥檚 your salary?鈥� or 鈥淗ow much does your business bring in monthly?鈥� I think money conversations like that should happen organically, and we just haven鈥檛 gotten there yet.

Now that I think about it, I think not knowing might be the reason for Roseline鈥檚 expectations. I work for a 鈥渂ig鈥� company, so maybe she thinks I鈥檓 making serious money. It also doesn鈥檛 help that I was spending like a fool when we met. Maybe I鈥檒l tell her one of these days that I only earn 鈧�600k. She should calm down with the billing.

What do your relationship expenses look like these days?

It鈥檚 very minimal. The last two times she visited, we only stayed indoors, watched movies and ordered food. I know she鈥檒l most likely want a more exciting date when we see each other again, but I鈥檓 trying to push that forward as much as possible.

Right now, the most I do is send her random 鈧�10k for data once or twice a month, or pay for her Chowdeck order like once a week.

Do you both have financial safety nets?

I save 鈧�100k monthly. Most of that goes to rent, and I leave the remaining in my savings app. Right now, I have 鈧�500k in my savings, which is crazy given that I was technically a millionaire last year. 

I know Roseline also uses a savings app, but I鈥檓 not sure how much she saves or how much she has. I鈥檇 say we both tend to spend first and save later. We like to have a good time, so it鈥檚 really hard 鈥� at least for me 鈥� to deprive myself just because I want to be able to say I have some money somewhere. But I鈥檒l keep trying my best to be more financially responsible.

What鈥檚 the ideal financial future you鈥檇 like for you and Roseline?

One where we both earn enough to travel around the world comfortably without having to consider selling a kidney.

Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, .

*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

NEXT READ:听I Fear Marrying Her Would Make Me Her Family鈥檚 Breadwinner

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What鈥檚 your earliest memory of money?

When I was 8 years old, a teacher in my primary school taught my class how to make greeting cards, and I made three Easter cards and “sold” them to our neighbours. They weren鈥檛 exactly valuable and had no fixed price; I just went up to my neighbours and said, “Oh, I made this. Do you want to buy?”

My neighbours were mostly amused. Like, what does this child want to do with money? They eventually gave me whatever they had. One person gave me a big bowl of ice cream, another 鈧�1,000, and the third 鈧�200.

I took the cash straight to a store and bought a big BMW toy car that my dad had refused to buy me. He only bought us gifts when we achieved specific academic goals, so that money came at the right time. 

Speaking of your dad, what was the financial situation at home?

We were comfortable. My dad was a computer engineer who worked for an oil company. He also ran a chain of cybercaf茅s and business centres. My mum was a stay-at-home wife until I was about 10, when my dad brought her in to manage the cybercaf茅s because his employees were ripping him off.

My siblings and I attended great schools, and my family took vacations to different states across the country once a year. My favourite was attending the Calabar Carnivals. I really enjoyed those.

When next did you try anything for money after the Easter cards?

Secondary school. I just liked doing cool, creative stuff and ended up making some money from it.

First, I made replica board games. We weren鈥檛 allowed to bring board games to school (I attended a boarding school), so I drew a Monopoly board on cardboard, cut out replica currency notes from paper, and made dice out of a Cabin biscuits box. I charged people 鈧�50 per game during evening prep. It wasn鈥檛 a very scalable business, since only a few people could play at once. Also, when other students saw what I was doing, they copied the idea and started making their own.

By the time I got into SS 1, I switched to writing short stories and comic books, charging classmates to read them. I even started a handwritten classroom “newspaper” and tried to convince people to pay for ad space. That didn鈥檛 do well either. The only real money I made in secondary school was in SS 3.

Tell me about that

I wanted to make money to buy a phone that I could bring to school. Of course, my parents would never buy one for me since it was illegal to bring a phone to school. So, I had to take matters into my own hands. 

I had a school guardian whom my parents gave my pocket money to. He would give me 鈧�200/day. Besides the pocket money, I had provisions, so I reasoned I could survive entirely on them and save the daily 鈧�200 cash. 

By the end of the term, I had saved up about 鈧�8k. My younger sister supported me with an extra 鈧�2k, and I used the entire sum to buy three cartons of custard cream biscuits during the holiday.

Other students sold biscuits too, but they started mid-term when everyone’s resources were running low. I targeted the very first day of resumption when students had fresh pocket money and were eager to spend it. I sold out instantly, made about 鈧�18k and bought my phone. 

The 鈧�18k included both capital and profit, but I didn鈥檛 mind spending it all since I didn鈥檛 plan to do the business again. The phone was my goal.

I rate the hustle. What came after secondary school?

After I graduated in 2019, my dad introduced me to website building using WordPress. He would regularly give me a bunch of WordPress tutorial videos, and I learned quickly. I actually enjoyed it because I loved seeing something tangible come to life from my work.

By then, my dad had left paid employment to focus on building his own company. Soon, he started handing me real client projects. I built about four websites for his clients. I鈥檓 sure the clients paid good money, but my dad took everything. It was basically unpaid labour. I couldn鈥檛 ask about payment because he鈥檇 say, “Well, who pays your school fees? Who buys your shoes and clothes?” So I kept my mouth shut and took it as a learning opportunity.

Later that year, I was admitted to the university to study electrical engineering.

How did university go?

My uni wasn鈥檛 far from our house, so I commuted to school every day. I had barely completed my first semester when COVID-19 hit, and the world went into lockdown.

For the first two months, I stayed at home playing video games. But I got bored out of my mind and started googling “how to make money online.” I tried everything. I created a YouTube channel and was posting music lyric videos, but that went nowhere. Then I designed T-shirts on a platform called Teespring, so people could order, and I鈥檇 only print on demand. That also didn鈥檛 go anywhere.

Frustrated, I decided to take web development seriously. I spent the rest of the lockdown teaching myself how to code.

By the time my school reopened in 2021, I was already really good at coding and no longer cared about university. I completed my first semester and went, 鈥淵eah, I鈥檓 not doing this again.鈥� So, I just stopped going.

Just like that? What did your parents say?

I didn鈥檛 tell them. I鈥檇 just get dressed each day and pretend to leave for campus. Then I鈥檇 hang out somewhere until I was certain everyone had left the house for work before sneaking back inside to code all day.

I also opened an Upwork account. But I was underage at 17 and couldn’t legally verify my account. I had to use my dad’s ID card, convincing him it was just for a project.

Eventually, I landed my first client on Upwork. It was a brutal, high-volume project for $500, which was roughly 鈧�400k. It was horrible work, but it was proof that coding could actually pay my bills. I used the money to upgrade my laptop and kept applying for more gigs.

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Were you getting a steady inflow? 

Not at all. For months, it was just that single $500 gig. My income dropped back to zero, and then my parents found out I hadn’t been going to school.

My dad was furious. He dragged me to the university campus, demanding my first-semester results. I hadn’t even bothered to check them because I knew I wasn’t going back. So, I went online, found the official admission list for my department, copied everyone’s names into a spreadsheet, and fabricated a full results page. I gave everyone random grades, but gave myself three A’s, four B’s, and a C. I slapped the university logo on top and showed it to them.

I told them, “See? It鈥檚 not like I鈥檓 failing. I just genuinely don’t want to go anymore.” They didn’t buy it. They cried, saying I was throwing my life away. My dad actually hit me. They insisted I must go back, arguing that a degree guarantees job security.

But you didn鈥檛 agree with that?

I didn鈥檛. I genuinely hated school. They were teaching us completely useless things. Around that time, I was reading biographies of Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg. In my head, dropping out felt like the mandatory first step to achieving their levels of success.  

I didn鈥檛 even mind that the Upwork gigs seemed to have dried up. It never occurred to me to think, 鈥淲hat if I never get another gig?鈥� I just had this absolute, unwavering conviction that things would only go upward.

To keep the peace at home, I changed tactics. I would go to school daily, sit in an empty classroom, and spend the entire day applying for gigs. The breakthrough finally came in late 2022.

What happened?

I landed a contract to build a website for a law firm. It paid $40/hour. I maxed out the 40-hour weekly limit, which brought in around $1,600 a week. Even after Upwork took its 10% commission, it was life-changing money. In two months, I made $10,000.

I framed the gig as a full-time corporate job to my parents, which put them at ease and helped them accept my decision to drop out. I think their biggest fear was that I鈥檇 end up jobless and wandering the streets. Once they saw a path to financial stability, they backed off completely. Today, they are very chill about it.

That law firm project also earned me a Top Rated badge on Upwork, which completely unlocked the algorithm for me. Immediately after it ended, I landed another long-term client in March 2023. That single gig lasted until December 2023, and I made $48,000 from it that year.

That鈥檚 a massive jump. How did you handle that kind of influx?

I was still living with my parents, so my expenses were virtually non-existent; just data and occasional eating out. I saved almost 90% of everything I earned.

With a steady weekly income of $1,600, I started setting up my life for adulthood. I upgraded my laptop, bought an extra monitor, set up a solar inverter system, and bought a dog.

In November 2023, I decided it was time to move out. My parents are incredibly religious, and I鈥檓 not. The constant friction of being forced to go to church and being told what to do wasn鈥檛 working for me. I decided the best way to solve it was to just not live with them. 

One afternoon, I hopped on a property website, found a serviced, fully furnished one-bedroom apartment with 24/7 guaranteed electricity, paid the 鈧�4.7 million annual rent the next day, and moved in 24 hours later with my clothes, laptop, monitor, and dog. 

My mum was heartbroken; she viewed moving out at 20 as a betrayal, but she eventually came around.

And then, the gig ended in December

Yes. Literally a month after spending 鈧�4.7 million on rent.

Initially, I was very chill. I had about $20,000 sitting safely in savings. I thought, “I’m a Top Rated freelancer. I’ll just find another gig in a few weeks.” I wasn鈥檛 worried at all. In fact, I travelled that December and came back in January 2024 to start applying.

Unfortunately, I experienced a long period of drought. ChatGPT was on the rise, and everyone was worried about AI taking jobs. Despite my strong Upwork history, I couldn’t land anything. Being a Nigerian freelancer also felt like a hindrance because it was right there on my profile, and I don鈥檛 imagine it helped my chances. 

I spent six straight months surviving entirely on my savings, spending only on basic groceries and my gym membership.

Gigs finally picked up again in June and July of 2024. By then, I had raised my hourly rate to $45 because I’d heard you鈥檙e supposed to raise it after a while. These new gigs lasted only a few months, but they brought some relief.

Then, I decided to get a girlfriend.

Oh. Why?

Living alone was boring. My dog wasn鈥檛 giving me enough social interaction. I could go days without speaking to another human being. It was beginning to get to me. 

I figured I was stable enough, so I started dating someone, who eventually moved in with me. Looking at it from a purely financial standpoint, it wasn鈥檛 the smartest decision. When I was single, most of my money went into savings, but with a partner, my spending habits had to change. 

For instance, she was a student but also wanted to learn to sew. So, I paid for that and helped her set up. I also bought her a phone and other equipment for content creation.

When the short-term gigs ended, and I had to fall back on my savings, I sat my girlfriend down to explain the nature of my work. She didn鈥檛 quite understand why my money seemed to be going and coming. Fortunately, she understood, and we learned to tighten our belts for when gigs weren鈥檛 forthcoming.

Are you still freelancing on Upwork now?

No, I completely abandoned Upwork late last year. 

If you go inactive on the platform for a while, your 鈥淛ob Success Score鈥� will drop. I checked my profile a few months ago and saw that my perfect 100% score had plummeted. Once your score drops, it鈥檚 tough to gain it back or get good gigs. I decided it wasn’t worth the stress.

Besides, by November 2024, I landed my first full-time job.

How did that happen?

I met a client on Upwork for a quick project. We worked well together and decided to take our communication off the platform.

He was the founder of an SEO company and brought me on full-time as a front-end developer for $3,000/month. It was a step down from what I鈥檇 make in a good month on Upwork, but I desperately needed the peace of mind that comes with a steady income.

The founder took a liking to my work and introduced me to his other companies. He was working with a Nigerian agency, but he wanted to change them, so he was like, 鈥淵ou鈥檝e been with us for so long. I think you can do this.鈥� 

That鈥檚 how I got promoted to manage his ecosystem of companies. My official title is Chief Product Officer (CPO). This happened in January 2026, and I negotiated my new pay to $10k/month. After deductions from the app I use to get paid, my salary is about $9,800 (鈧�10.8 million after conversion). 

Chief Product Officer at 22 is mad impressive

Honestly, it scares me. I constantly think, “If I lose this job tomorrow and have to apply to another job, how do I explain that I became a CPO at 22 just like that?” Nobody will take me seriously. 

Also, I worry that losing a job that pays me $10k would be such a huge drop for me. Like, if I鈥檇 lost it when I earned $3k, I could just go out and look for another that paid the same. But $10k?

Because of that fear, I work extra hard to meet all my goals and make sure I鈥檓 not failing any arbitrary criteria they might have. 

I am deeply haunted by the story of an uncle. He was a wealthy regional manager for a major multinational company, complete with a company car. He got fired unexpectedly, and everything crashed down. I never want my income tied to something that can go away. 

I get that. What are you doing to hedge against that fear?

I spent last year building an app to make passive income, which I officially launched in March 2026. 

It鈥檚 an AI-powered admin assistant and booking platform tailored for blue-collar professionals in the US, such as plumbers, electricians, and mechanics. When they close for the day, the AI answers customer queries, tracks schedules, handles bookings, and centralises their administration.

I deliberately built it for the US market because the economic infrastructure is ready for automation. If I built this for Nigeria, I鈥檇 spend months trying to convince small business owners who aren’t tech-savvy to pay for software.

Is the app profitable yet?

It is. I currently have about 30 active users paying a $30 monthly subscription fee. That brings in roughly $900 in passive income per month.

It costs me about $100 a month to host the application and keep it running, leaving me with a $800 monthly profit. I don’t touch that money. I am pooling it together so I can hire a salesperson on the ground in the US to do door-to-door marketing and scale our user base.

I鈥檓 surprised people are actually using the app. It is the first time I鈥檝e succeeded at making a profitable app. I鈥檝e once tried my hand at an agency to build websites for this same blue-collar market, but I kept getting fucked over by random things, from PayPal issues to a deal falling through after the client saw my face on a video call. 

So, I鈥檓 glad this app is doing well. My ultimate long-term goal is to hit 1,000 active users. $30,000 a month in pure, recurring revenue would help me achieve whatever goal I want. I won’t ever have to think about a corporate job again.

Alternatively, if that doesn鈥檛 work, I鈥檒l need to find a way to maintain my current level or improve it. I can鈥檛 afford to return to Upwork. The platform is great, but I can’t bank on it. I can鈥檛 start a family on Upwork income or make any big moves. I’ll be like, “Oh, instead of me buying this land, let me just save the money, because who knows when next I’ll get a gig?鈥� It puts that fear in you, and I don鈥檛 want that.  

I鈥檓 curious. How has your income growth impacted how you think about money?

I think success (and making money) is really about knowing the right people and having the right information. I know a lot of people who started coding with me, but our situations are different now because they didn鈥檛 have the information, or they didn鈥檛 meet the people I did.

If I鈥檇 never met my employer, or if he hadn’t taken a liking to me, my situation would be different. There鈥檚 just so far your knowledge can take you; the rest is knowing the right people.

Word. What does your spending look like these days?

Once salary hits, I move $2,000 (20%) into my spending account to handle all living expenses for my partner and me. The remaining 80% goes into investments. I don鈥檛 believe in saving money in the bank because I think it鈥檚 wasteful. 

Here is what a typical month looks like:

I spend heavily on food because we enjoy eating well. We order in or dine out about three times a week. If we have any money left over from the $2,000 at the end of the month, it rolls over, or we can do something crazy, like an impromptu holiday within Nigeria.

How do you channel the remaining 80% in investments?

Everything goes into my investment app. My total investment portfolio across stocks and mutual funds is currently worth 鈧�40 million. I have an additional $8,000 cash buffer sitting in US tech stocks, but that鈥檚 strictly an emergency fund.

I鈥檓 aggressively investing right now for two major short-term goals. First, I want to move to a bigger space in another state. I’m budgeting 鈧�20 million to secure the apartment and furnish it from scratch. My current apartment came pre-furnished, so I’m excited to treat interior decoration as a creative experiment.

Second, I am targeting 鈧�50 million to buy my first car. I am a massive car enthusiast, so instead of buying a cheap starter car, I鈥檇 rather wait to save up and buy a good car I鈥檇 really like. 

Long-term, my dream is early retirement. I want to buy a massive expanse of land 鈥� somewhere between 500 and 1,000 acres 鈥� in a quiet countryside, build a home, take up polo and horse riding, and completely unplug from the world. I estimate I’ll need a net worth of roughly $2 million to pull that off.

How would you describe your relationship with money?

Anxious. I am so scared of losing it. Money gives wings to my dreams, and I don鈥檛 want to lose it. 

The only thing that will fully cure this anxiety is reaching a point where my lifestyle is funded entirely by the compounding interest of my investments and my independent app revenue, rather than a salary. Until then, I am staying locked in.

I have to ask: Is there an ideal amount of money you think you should be earning monthly?

An extra $2k on my salary would bring my naira income to about 鈧�15.9 million. I feel like I鈥檇 be satisfied with that amount.

Why is $2k the sweet spot, though?

I honestly don鈥檛 know. 鈧�15 million just seems like a rounder amount. It might not make that much of a difference, except that I鈥檇 be able to save more.

How would you rate your financial happiness on a scale of 1-10?

7. When I dropped out of uni, my ultimate goal was simply to hit a monthly income of 鈧�1.5 million. I thought if I could make that much, I would be settled for life. Today, I make nearly ten times that amount. I have achieved goals that felt decades away. 

Right now, all I need is patience and the right connections to unlock the next level of wealth. Who knows? Maybe if I do things right, I can hit $10 million.

Find all the past Naira Life stories听here.

In this story, she shares her income growth trajectory, how she鈥檚 navigating corporate UK as an immigrant, and why she is aggressively cutting down her black tax to protect her financial future.

As Told To Boluwatife

My career started in 2020, right after NYSC. 

I studied English in university, which meant I had no clear idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was desperately broke and willing to take anything that paid.

That was how I landed a role as a Business Development Executive at a jewellery company, earning 鈧�80k/month. It was a glorified sales role heavily tied to commission, but I still lived with my parents, so 鈧�80k was enough to buy myself stuff occasionally. 

However, it quickly became obvious that my salary couldn’t fund the life I wanted. It couldn’t even get me a place of my own in Lagos. 

So, in September 2021, I quit without a backup plan. I wanted something different, but I still didn’t know what my options were. I figured I might fit into Human Resources based on my personality. So, I gathered my savings and paid roughly 鈧�110,000 to get professional certifications from the Chartered Institute of Personnel Management (CIPM).

The pivot: Following the bag

The HR job hunt lasted a few months, but the CIPM certification paid off. It got me through the door at a tech company as a management trainee earning 鈧�150k/month in 2022. During onboarding, the recruiters explicitly told me they had hired me only because they saw the CIPM certification on my CV and knew I was serious about HR.

The company was structured to let management trainees rotate through a few departments. It was here that I heard the phrase “Product Management” for the very first time. Intrigued, I asked the team: “Can I try this out for just one month before I go back to my designated HR department?” They agreed.

I spent a month in product, and then spent the next month back in HR, where I had access to the payroll data. I saw what HR people were earning and what product managers and engineers were taking home. The latter group earned more, so I decided to follow the bag. It took some audacity and a lot of persuasion, but I managed to convince my employers to let me move to Product Management.

罢丑别听听is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.听Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.听.

Scaling the income ceiling

Once I got in, my focus was growth. My salary bumped up to 鈧�250k, but it plateaued there. I needed to scale my income, so I kept an eye on the market.

In December 2023, after nearly two years at the job, I moved to a fintech company, and my new starting salary was 鈧�680k. A year later, I was promoted to Senior Product Manager, and my salary climbed to 鈧�1.4 million.

On paper, I was making significantly more than the average Nigerian, but the reality of living in Lagos was draining. I was paying roughly 鈧�250k/month for a tiny, serviced studio apartment. That鈥檚 nearly 鈧�3 million a year just on rent for a small space.

On top of that, the economic uncertainties in Nigeria were soaring, and my family responsibilities were incredibly heavy. The money wasn’t compounding; it was just going out. I also felt like I had hit a ceiling for my career level in Nigeria. Very few companies in the country would pay higher than what I was already making. To get a substantial bump, I needed a drastic lifestyle and geographical shift.

My husband had already been living in the UK for a while. So, it was an obvious decision to relocate too. 

Navigating the UK market

Immediately after deciding to move, I started testing the job market. I overhauled my CV, changed my LinkedIn location to the UK, and used my husband鈥檚 British phone number.

Initially, the application process was brutal. I was applying and getting zero callbacks. I managed to get a few interviews, but one company explicitly rejected me because I was “overqualified” for a role that would have paid me double my Nigerian income.

I stopped applying entirely and shifted my strategy to visibility. I started posting consistently on LinkedIn, optimising my profile so recruiters could find me.

The strategy flipped the script. Suddenly, recruiters were reaching out to me every week. 

I moved to the UK in February 2026. By the end of March, I had secured a full-time Product Manager role in the insurance sector. My new salary is 拢65,000/year. After taxes, that leaves me with roughly 拢4k in monthly take-home.

I should be ecstatic about this because it is a lot of money. However, I feel conflicted. 

For one, I鈥檝e found myself wrestling with intense imposter syndrome. Coming from Nigeria, I never had to worry about proving my basic competence. But there is subtle racism in the UK, and the pressure to perform and make a flawless impression for those coming after me is immense. Sometimes, I wonder if I鈥檓 just a diversity hire. 

Also, insurance is a new industry for me. I want to get back into fintech, but UK fintech regulations are incredibly stringent, making the hiring process much tighter.

How relocation has changed my attitude to money

The biggest transformation since moving has been my relationship with money.

In Nigeria, I was the financial centre of my extended family. Aside from my rent and basic food, almost all my money vanished into family demands.

Moving to the UK has forced me into an era of radical financial prudence. Nobody cares about flashy displays of wealth here. My husband and I live below our means. We drive a pre-owned car and live in a modest apartment.

We also started mapping out every single pound using a budgeting tool. This year, I made a strict rule not to disclose my salary to my family. They knew how much I earned in Nigeria, and I think it contributed to my black tax load. 

At some point, I was paying roughly 鈧�500k in black tax every month. For almost a year, I was paying 鈧�300k monthly to offset a 鈧�3 million debt my parents incurred to finish the roofing on their house after a landlord served them an eviction notice. I was also paying 鈧�100k monthly for my sister鈥檚 upkeep, along with other regular family expenses.

I no longer tell my family what I earn, but family demands are still heavy, even more so since I鈥檓 in the UK. To manage it, my husband and I have formalised our black tax into a tight monthly budget of 拢600 (roughly 鈧�1.2 million) for our parents and siblings. The rest of our income goes into sorting bills and trying to be strict with savings and investments.

It鈥檚 hard not to feel guilty about reducing black tax when I think about how I鈥檓 living here, while people are back home struggling. But I鈥檓 now at a point where I have to pay attention to my finances and find a way to make sense of them. 

Looking ahead

Right now, my investment portfolio is almost nonexistent. I have just 拢500 sitting in stocks. I could count the 鈧�5 million resting in my Nigerian pension pot, but I can’t touch that until I’m 55.

My goal is to aggressively build wealth from scratch. My husband and I are looking to hit 拢100k in our investment portfolio within the next three to five years by maintaining our low cost of living, even as our incomes grow. By the end of next year, we want to pool capital to fund higher-risk investments back in Nigeria or another African country to generate a solid yield. The long-term goal is to accumulate 拢1 million, retire early, and live comfortably.

I recognise how incredibly lucky I am to have scaled my income this quickly as a non-technical immigrant who started out earning 鈧�80k just six years ago. But I鈥檓 still healing my relationship with money. 

I want to reach a place where budgeting is second nature, my portfolio is compounding, and I can support my family without an ounce of underlying resentment. Until everyone stands firmly on their own two feet, the journey continues.

*Name has been changed to protect the subject’s identity.

NEXT READ: I Make 鈧�45m/Year at 21. Here鈥檚 How I鈥檓 Building a 鈧�1bn Net Worth by 30

What鈥檚 your earliest memory of money?

Growing up, I had a rich aunt who, every time she visited or we visited her, gave my siblings and me brand-new currency notes. They felt so nice to hold. Of course, I never got to hold them long enough because of the typical Nigerian family, “Let Daddy and Mummy keep it for you.” 

I didn鈥檛 truly realise that money was important to do things until my first year of university in 2012. My family鈥檚 finances took a massive, sharp turn for the worse.

Let鈥檚 back up a bit. Could you paint a picture of your family鈥檚 fortune prior to this? 

We weren’t rich, but we were comfortable. Before I was born, my mum was a schoolteacher, but she later moved into banking. My dad worked in the oil and gas business. We lived in a two-bedroom apartment with two other extended family members. 

My parents worked late a lot, so we were pretty independent kids. Eventually, my mum left banking to start a fabric business, which did really well for a while before she discontinued it. We had typical average-household moments, like using candles when there was no generator, but it never felt like a lack. I had no lavish wants. There was always food, and that was enough.

From my senior secondary school days up until my first year of university, things were actually great. My dad鈥檚 business had peaked. I had a car in uni and pocket money to do whatever I wanted. If I ran out of money at school, I鈥檇 just call my mum, and she鈥檇 just send it to my account.

Then 2012 happened.

Yeah. Towards the end of my 100 level, my dad discovered that his business partner was embezzling money. It was a serious issue because they executed government contracts. I was genuinely scared my dad would go to prison. 

He had to sell some land and a car, and we moved to the outskirts of Lagos. Gradually, the money stopped flowing in, and my dad stopped travelling as much.

How did that directly hit you?

I stopped getting money 鈥渏ust because鈥�; my monthly pocket money became smaller and smaller. I think my world generally became smaller; I couldn鈥檛 just do things like I used to.

Around that time, my university went on a long strike. Initially, I was throwing tantrums, demanding that they send me to a university in Ghana or somewhere else since the strike was wasting my time. But the new reality had already crashed my brother’s UK plans, and my dad definitely couldn’t afford Ghana.

While sitting at home frustrated, my cousin told me about an internship at the media company where she worked. I loved reading and writing, so I took it just to get out of the house. That was my entry into employment.

Was it a paid internship?

Yes. They paid me 鈧�40k/month. At that point, I had never considered a career path. I didn鈥檛 even like the course I was studying in school. But that internship changed everything. I was writing for the blog, reviewing restaurants, and interviewing musicians and actors. I was having the time of my life.

The funny thing was that 鈧�40k couldn鈥檛 even fully cover my expenses, since the office was hours away from where we lived. My dad still had to help with fuel money so I could drive to work. I think he was fine with that extra expense because we all viewed the financial crisis as a temporary bump in the road, and things would get better soon. We didn’t know the bump would keep getting higher.

What happened with the internship after school resumed?

The company was incredibly flexible. During the strike, I worked full-time. When school resumed, I went part-time, working two or three days a week after classes or on weekends. The media house was expanding into video production, doing short films and series, and I completely threw myself into it. I assisted on sets and wrote scripts.

By my third and fourth year in uni, that 鈧�40k salary became my entire life. There was zero allowance coming from home. That money fed me at school, paid my tuition (about 鈧�15k then), and helped my siblings when they were broke. Things got so bad at home that my mum would occasionally call me to borrow 鈧�10k, which I鈥檇 never get back.

Wait. Your pay didn鈥檛 change?

No. Four years as an intern, and the pay stayed exactly at 鈧�40k. But I saw a path there. I just felt, 鈥淭his is what I have to do.鈥� Even if they didn鈥檛 pay me, I was willing to work until I found my way into something else.

My work helped me build industry networks, and I got the opportunity to do some freelance stuff here and there. My boyfriend at the time was in the film industry, so I often assisted him on set. One time, he landed a two-day gig in another state and took me along. When he asked how much I wanted, I was like, 鈥淛ust pay me whatever,鈥� and he was like, 鈥淣o, you have to know how much you want to make. Put a figure in the budget.鈥� 

So, I asked for 鈧�60k per day. At the end of the shoot, he handed me 鈧�120k. It felt like crack. 鈧�120k for two days of work when my monthly salary was 鈧�40k? Crazy. I sent 鈧�15k each to my mum and dad, gave some to my brother, and it felt good to do it. That experience made me realise I possessed a skill people would actually pay money for.

By the time I reached my final year in 2016, I had completely lost interest in university. I failed a couple of papers, looked at the stress of rewriting them, and said, “Fuck this.” I walked away and went to the media company to let them know I was ready to work full-time.

How did your parents handle your decision to drop out?

They don’t know. To this day, I have never told them.

You say?

My parents are the type who let me be because I grew independent very quickly. If I don’t want to answer a question, I will pivot the conversation expertly. Because I immediately went into full-time work, there was no gap where I was sitting at home acting like a graduate. I was constantly on movie sets or at the office.

I鈥檓 not a big fan of pageantry, so I didn’t care about graduation pictures or birthday shoots. When my younger brother graduated later, he didn’t go to his convocation either, so nobody at home really minded. They saw I had my life together and was financially supporting everyone, so they didn’t ask questions.

Fair enough. What did the full-time role look like?

When I went full-time in 2016, my pay was bumped to around 鈧�60k or 鈧�70k. Still small, but the economy was better then, so it could stretch until the end of the month.

I finessed my way from being just a content writer to an assistant producer. I made sure I was highly likeable, pitched ideas constantly and stayed available. One day, the head of the media house was stressed because a fashion stylist on a shoot was messing up. She asked me to go into the wardrobe room and piece outfits together. I did it, everyone loved it, and suddenly, she appointed me as the head of wardrobe for one of our shows.

I had never done wardrobe in my life. I didn鈥檛 even know what continuity was, but I was like, 鈥淚 can do it. Don鈥檛 worry.鈥� It was three months of pure torture. I cried every day and barely slept because we filmed late into the night, and I鈥檇 stay up figuring out what everyone would wear the next day. Nigerian filmmaking is chaotic, and I was dealing with veteran actors who were kind but still intimidated the hell out of me. 

At some point, my car became the wardrobe trunk. It was awful, but I hustled through it. My pay was 鈧�120k/month for the three months of shooting, which was hilarious because I鈥檓 sure an actual stylist would have spat at that amount. But I was just a young person looking for a chance.

When the show wrapped up, I walked straight to the head of production and said, “Hey, I want to be a producer, and I think you should give me a chance.” She was like, 鈥淥kay,鈥� then handed me a show to run and raised my salary to 鈧�150k.

Energy!

The new pay felt good. I was the youngest, coolest kid in the office, so they routed all the millennial and Gen-Z digital lifestyle and music shows to me. I created formats that went viral and pulled massive numbers for the company. I was there for about two more years and left in 2018.

Why did you leave?

The 鈧�150k was why I left. The company started hiring new assistant producers. I would spend weeks training them from scratch, only to discover, in a casual conversation, that these new hires were being brought in at a 鈧�200k salary. Meanwhile, I was carrying a much heavier workload and producing their hit shows on 鈧�150k.

I went to the head of production and requested to be paid the same as what others were earning. She told me to “convince” her why I think I deserved it. I decided I wasn鈥檛 going to try to convince anyone. They could see the work I was doing, and if that wasn鈥檛 enough proof, then it wasn鈥檛 the right place for me.

While still at the job, I started job hunting. A contact connected me with a fintech company looking for someone to produce and do social media content. I interviewed, and they offered me 鈧�350k/month. I resigned instantly. My time at the fintech was incredibly short-lived, though.

What happened?

I worked there for three months and got fired. I was young, hot-headed, and foolish. I had an issue with someone in management, and I didn鈥檛 handle it well. I lost my temper, and we got into a loud argument. Of course, they couldn鈥檛 let a lowly employee speak to management that way, so I lost the job. 

I was unemployed for about six months, and it was a really tough period for me. My parents still lived far away, so I鈥檇 moved in with my partner when I still had a job. After I got fired, I struggled to find any kind of work, whether freelance or 9-5, despite all my applications. I hated being dependent.听

I hated relying on someone else to buy airtime or food. It made me incredibly angry and sad. I also couldn’t ask my parents because things were still bad at home. In fact, the worse things got for my family financially, the more religious they became. I became a hardcore atheist because it all felt performative.

Then in 2019, I caught a break. One of my LinkedIn applications was successful, and I landed a senior producer role at a media publication. The pay was 鈧�200k/month, a pay cut from the fintech job, but I was desperate for survival.

I feel you

The workload was hell, though. I was working Monday to Sunday and dying on the line. My commute meant waking up at 5 a.m. to battle traffic, working all day, and driving back late. 

I was severely depressed. I鈥檇 get home, turn off all the lights, roll up, smoke, and pass out. Then repeat. I felt like I was working myself to the grave because if I stopped, I wouldn’t eat.

The major positive was that I was able to save enough within a few months to rent an apartment with a roommate. 

Then COVID hit in 2020.

Did lockdown affect your employment?

Lockdown was ironically the best time of my life. The company laid off many people, but my boss fought for me, so I kept my job.

That was my first taste of remote work. No traffic or physical office politics. We had press passes, so when we went out to film, we鈥檇 finish a shoot in three hours because the roads were bare. I had time to exercise and rest. My salary remained at 鈧�200k. One of my siblings even moved in with me.

The funny thing is, my own layoff came right after the lockdown lifted in August 2020.

Mad o

See! I had barely anything saved because of endless family emergencies. For the rest of 2020, I survived entirely on intense freelancing, working as a production manager, manager, or anything else I could find.

In January 2021, an advertising agency reached out to me on LinkedIn. They offered 鈧�250k/month. I took it because I wanted experience in every industry possible, but it turned out to be a mistake. I had zero work-life balance again. I could be at the beach with my friends on a Sunday, my laptop open on my knees, taking client meetings right there.

At some point, it clicked that I really didn’t have to endure misery. So when, in September 2021, a friend told me about an opportunity at a crypto company, I was open to it. I interviewed, and they offered me 鈧�400k/month.

罢丑别听听is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.听Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.听.

Back to tech money

Yes! It was a chill environment. Everyone was young, and the vibe was amazing. I spent two years there. Early in 2023, they offered to start paying our salaries in USDT to hedge against inflation, which pushed my take-home pay to the equivalent of 鈧�500,000.

But by late 2023, the crypto company ran into issues. They began defaulting on salaries and eventually laid off my entire team. The only silver lining was that they let us keep our official MacBook Pros as an apology for sacking us without notice. To me, that was a fantastic exchange.

Skrimmm. How long were you unemployed this time?

Only about two months. Once again, LinkedIn came through. The CEO of a media company messaged me directly. My new salary was 鈧�700k/month.

The work was so easy I felt like I was collecting free money. I could do it with my eyes closed. Of course, in the corporate world, you always have to look busier than you are, so they don’t question your salary. I was also getting freelance gigs, earning between 鈧�600k and 鈧�700k for random shoots.

During this period, my landlord got into debt and sold the house, so I had to move. I rented a bigger place, and my siblings and my mum all moved in with me. My brother and I took over the household fully so our parents wouldn’t have to worry about survival. I paid the bills, fed everyone, and covered our youngest sibling鈥檚 school costs.

But I still wanted more. I was tired of living paycheck to paycheck and felt I should be earning money. Moreso, black tax and inflation were aggressively eating into the 鈧�700k. I had no savings. I didn鈥檛 exactly have a strong savings culture, but I knew my income could be better. So, I was applying to jobs.

Then came June 2025.

What happened in June 2025?

An abroad-based headhunter reached out to me on LinkedIn for a creative project manager/producer role in Africa. The very next day, another recruiter messaged me about the exact same role. I told myself, “This job belongs to me.”

At this point, I have to ask what鈥檚 in your LinkedIn stew

I don鈥檛 even know! I don鈥檛 even post there, so it鈥檚 not like I鈥檓 doing anything. It鈥檚 crazy.

Anyway, the interview and assessment process took just four days. I remember I did the negotiations right in my workplace鈥檚 studio. They offered me $3k/month. My headphones stopped working mid-call, and I had to unplug them to continue. My coworkers were there, but I didn鈥檛 care. Nothing was going to stop me. I resigned that very day. 

I鈥檓 dying. To be fair, doing that for $3k was very valid

You get it. In fact, after I signed the contract that day, they were like, “Can you start next tomorrow?鈥� I was like, “I can start now.鈥�

After conversion, my salary usually lands anywhere between 鈧�4.1 million and 鈧�4.5 million. The first time it hit, I just stared at the screen. I couldn’t believe it. Besides the money, I have more free time. My work hours are 7 a.m. to 3 p.m., meaning I finally have a life. I also travel internationally two or three times a year on the company’s dime to meet my global team.

I still take on freelance work whenever an opportunity comes. I usually make an additional 鈧�1 million from those every two to three months. Last December, I worked on a music video, shot two commercials, and made an extra 鈧�5 million in side gigs outside my salary. I recently moved my family and I to a bigger apartment. The rent is 鈧�3.5 million, and I’ve paid for two years, so I don鈥檛 have to worry about it for a while.

How has your income growth impacted how you think about money?

Having money means a lot to me as a woman. It鈥檚 independence and the ability to dictate how my life goes. I don鈥檛 need to rely on anyone. Money gives me freedom and power, and I can鈥檛 trade that for anything.

My quality of life has generally improved. I don鈥檛 worry about money as much anymore since I can meet my needs. I know there鈥檚 so much more money to be made in this world, and I鈥檓 going to make it, regardless of what anyone wants to do. I鈥檒l keep pushing, and the money will keep increasing.

Inject it. Now鈥檚 the part where we talk about your monthly spending

For the savings, I just started taking it seriously around March, mostly because of the people who kept pushing me to save something. I set up a direct debit from my income to my savings app, so I鈥檓 not tempted to touch it. 

I鈥檓 also exploring investment options such as stocks and treasury bills. I understand the need to invest and make my money work for me. So, I鈥檓 working on that.

What does your portfolio look like right now?

I have about 鈧�2 million in my savings. I also put about 鈧�400k into US stocks. I鈥檓 a bit wary of the stock market because it feels like advanced sports betting to me, but I’m doing my research. 

I鈥檓 currently waiting for the Dangote Refinery to list its shares so I can invest and earn returns. I refuse to invest in local businesses because I鈥檝e seen people lose everything when a business collapses. I want my money where I can see it.

How would you describe your relationship with money?

I like having money, but I鈥檓 an incredibly anxious person. You know how I said I don鈥檛 worry about money as much anymore? Well, my new worry is how long I can keep this going. 

Life has shown me that I need to worry. I鈥檝e been laid off several times, so I don’t feel entirely secure. If the company closes down today or decides they don鈥檛 want to work with me anymore, where will I find another company that鈥檒l pay me this much? I constantly feel like I am one bad day away from losing it all and going back to where I started.

To deal with this anxiety, I鈥檓 constantly editing my CV and applying for jobs on LinkedIn every single morning before starting work. It sounds greedy, but $3,000 is no longer my endpoint. I know people earning $7,000 to $10,000 a month on retainer deals doing exactly what I do. If they can get it, why can’t I? I don鈥檛 have a degree or fancy certifications, and I鈥檝e finessed my way through my career, but I actually have proof of work.

I also think I could have more self-control when it comes to spending money. I tend to spend whenever I feel like, which isn鈥檛 bad, but I need to do better if I want to have some sort of cushion for whatever comes. I just need to be stronger and come disciplined in my relationship with money.

What鈥檚 something you want right now but can鈥檛 quite afford yet?

I need a new car. I also want to move into my own solo apartment. I love my family, but I have spent my entire adult life living with and caring for people. It would be nice to be alone in my own space.

My wildest dream is to take a 6-month holiday to travel the world or across Europe. It will cost an insane amount of money, but check back with me in eight months. You never know.

What about the last thing you bought that made you genuinely happy?

A PlayStation 5. I鈥檝e wanted it for years. Early this year, I realised I could just buy it without blinking. It cost me 鈧�600,000. I bought a few games with it, and it brought me so much joy. I also spent about 鈧�2 million on a high-end work laptop, but that felt like an expense. The PS5 was pure happiness.

How would you rate your financial happiness on a scale of 1-10?

6. I鈥檓 comfortable, and I can buy almost anything I want within reason. I can take my friends and family out, buy them stuff and fix household emergencies without breaking a sweat. But I don鈥檛 think I have a safety net, so I don鈥檛 feel secure yet. There鈥檚 a lot of room for improvement.

My ultimate dream is to earn so much money that I never have to work a day in my life again. But to get to the point where I don’t have to work, I have to work a whole lot. And that鈥檚 exactly what I’m chasing.

Find all the past Naira Life stories听here.

鈥淚 traded forex with my school fees and lost it all鈥� 鈥� James*, 29, M

My dad sent me 鈧�280k for my final-year school fees after complaining for weeks about how hard it was to get money. But at the time, Forex boys on Twitter were posting insane daily profits, and one part of me genuinely believed I could double my money before sorting out school fees.

I lost everything in two days. 

I still remember staring at red candles on the charts at 3 a.m. and trying not to die. Telling my dad was worse than the loss itself. He was so disappointed and didn鈥檛 talk to me for months. He only paid the fees (while still beefing me) because my mum begged him to. I honestly believed I鈥檇 have an extra year or he鈥檇 disown me. To this day, I can鈥檛 hear 鈥淯SD/JPY trading鈥� without remembering the worst week of my life.

鈥淚 borrowed money for Detty December. Then I lost my job鈥� 鈥� Queen*, 27, F

I got my first big girl job in 2024, and that December, I was determined to 鈥渂e outside鈥�. Almost every day, I turned up at a party or an event. I even started borrowing money because I was confident my January salary would cover everything. By January 8th, my account balance was down to 鈧�8k, and I owed a loan company 鈧�75k. Unfortunately, I got laid off that same week.

The shege I experienced that month is one for the books. It inevitably got to the point where the loan app called and sent threats several times. They went as far as sending obituary texts to my contacts and my mum, who fainted out of shock. It was a terrible time. To date, my phone is always on silent mode because of the trauma of those loan calls.

鈥溾偊700k once vanished from my account. Now, I screenshot every alert鈥� 鈥� Tolani*, 35, F

In 2019, I woke up to find that over 鈧�700k had disappeared from my account due to random transactions I didn鈥檛 make. I dragged this matter with my bank and court for months, while I borrowed money to survive. Eventually, I only got part of the money back.

Since then, I have constantly monitored my account like a security guard. I screenshot every transfer and debit alert I get. I can be doing a random thing on my phone and subconsciously open my bank app to make sure my money is still there.

罢丑别听听is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.听Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.听.

鈥淚 hoard money by default鈥� 鈥� Josiah*, 31, M

My first employer once delayed salaries for four months. Every week, they sent motivational emails, promising that it was a temporary situation and they were working on a fix. It was an especially dark period for me as I didn鈥檛 have financial support or a second job. I sold my phone to afford food and made it a daily habit to trek for two hours to and from work.

The crazy thing is that even though I earn well now, that period permanently damaged my relationship with money. I panic whenever my account balance drops below a certain amount, even though I know I鈥檓 fine. I hoard money by default; I don鈥檛 know how to spend it.

鈥淚 miscalculated date expenses and embarrassed myself鈥� 鈥� Dele*, 26, M

I went on a first date with this fine babe to a restaurant I couldn’t afford, but I wanted to impress her. I had mentally calculated that the bill would be 鈧�67k, which was just around what I had in my account. Unfortunately, I didn鈥檛 prepare for the service charge and VAT. When it was time to pay, my card kept declining. 

I genuinely wanted the ground to open. The waiter stood there like a debt collector, while my date suddenly became very interested in her phone. In the end, she quietly paid the bill and told me to repay her later. Omo, she blocked me everywhere the moment we left there. I still get flashbacks whenever I eat out, and I compulsively check my account balance to avoid history repeating itself.

鈥淚 overwork because I don鈥檛 want to be broke again鈥� 鈥� Nkechi*, 32, F

During COVID, I lost my job and spent eight brutal months unemployed. I exhausted my savings and borrowed from friends to survive. This is embarrassing, but I once slept with my elderly landlord so I wouldn鈥檛 pay rent. 

Two weeks later, the stupid man still came to disturb me for rent and implied I should sleep with him again. I had to move back to my parents鈥� house, something I had been avoiding because of my dad鈥檚 wahala.

Today, I have three jobs and barely sleep because I鈥檓 terrified of ever returning to that place financially. My employers praise me for being hardworking, but honestly, a lot of it is fear. Rest feels dangerous, and I can’t even imagine turning down work.

鈥淚 buy things in bulk because of an embarrassing supermarket experience鈥� 鈥� Ogechi*, 28, F

I was dead broke a few years ago when an uncle sent me 鈧�50k. I rushed to the supermarket nearby to buy some provisions, forgetting that I鈥檇 borrowed money from the same account. I only realised that my account had been debited when I tried to pay. I had to leave the cart and walk away. I doubt people noticed, but I was so embarrassed.   

Now, whenever I have money, I overbuy essentials because running out of things makes me anxious. My house always has excessive noodles, toothpaste, and foodstuff because scarcity mentally scarred me. I鈥檝e had situations where the food item expired unused. 

*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

NEXT READ: Supporting My Family Landed Me in 鈧�3.8 Million Debt. It Nearly Killed Me

Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship?听If yes,听.

How long have you been with your partner?

My girlfriend, Nimi, and I have been together for two years.

How did you both meet?

We met at a wedding in 2024. I was the MC, and she worked as one of the caterers鈥� assistants. Towards the end of the reception, a vehicle hit the caterer鈥檚 bus, damaging some utensils, leading to a commotion in the parking area.

I tried my best to calm the affected people because the situation was affecting the party, but they were just shouting. It was chaotic. Nimi was one of the more level-headed people. I noticed how maturely she spoke and suggested solutions. 

After the wahala settled, I struck up a conversation with her. We exchanged numbers, and by the next day, we were dating.

Just like that?

I can be very direct when I want to be. I just told her I liked her and wanted to be in a relationship with her. 

Nimi was like, 鈥淎han, calm down. You don鈥檛 even know me.鈥�

I said, 鈥淲e can be knowing each other inside the relationship.鈥�

I must鈥檝e been persuasive, because she accepted. Now that I think about it, it was such an impulsive move. I guess I was just tired of all the rules around relationships. I鈥檝e done everything, from long talking stages to forming friendships first before coming clean, yet all the relationships ended in heartbreak. I just wanted to try something different. Nimi was down, and that鈥檚 how we started.

We started dating 鈥渙ver the phone鈥�, and I cooked for her during our indoor date the following weekend to officially kickstart the relationship. She often jokes that tasting my cooking was the final sign she needed to be sure she鈥檇 made the right decision.

Haha. That鈥檚 sweet. Was it easy dating someone you barely knew, though?

We had what I鈥檇 call 鈥済rowing pains鈥� in our first year. We were two people with different personalities trying to be together. Nimi is an introvert, while I鈥檓 an extrovert. She likes that I鈥檓 outgoing, but she started to have issues with the number of female friends I have. To be fair, I have a lot. 

Nimi and I could be hanging out at my place, and one of my female friends would just knock on my door and enter. Or another would call me and want to talk for hours. I didn鈥檛 see any problem with it, so when Nimi started complaining, I thought she was overreacting. We had a lot of arguments and even broke up for a week before I received sense and begged that I鈥檇 change.

We also clashed over our spending decisions, particularly Nimi鈥檚 spending. Nimi is the hardest-working woman I鈥檝e met. She does everything from event catering to makeup and mobile photography. She鈥檚 an actual jack of all trades, but you never see the impact of the money she makes. She鈥檚 the firstborn and would rather spend all her money on her widowed mum and siblings before buying underwear for herself.

Hmmm. I鈥檓 assuming you had a problem with that

Oh yes. I didn鈥檛 understand why she couldn鈥檛 say no to requests or only help once in a while. In our first year, I constantly brought it up, and we argued a lot. She argued that I didn鈥檛 understand the responsibility, and I kept saying I didn鈥檛 even want to understand. 

At some point, she said I was complaining because I thought she鈥檇 start asking me for money once she was broke. We had a lot of bitter arguments in that line, with Nimi saying she鈥檇 never ask me for money, so I didn鈥檛 need to bother. 

I learned to back off and present my concerns more sensitively. I鈥檝e noticed she鈥檚 more receptive to feedback when I don鈥檛 come off like I鈥檓 attacking her choices. So, I approach the topic of how much she gives her family by first empathising and suggesting better ways to handle the responsibility. And there have been improvements. Now, she tries to stick to sending them a set amount of money each month rather than just whenever they ask. She also saves more these days.

It still hasn鈥檛 completely solved the 鈥渇amily expectations鈥� problem, though. They still call for help. Recently, it鈥檚 become an even bigger problem for me.

How so?

Nimi and I are planning to get married by the end of the year or early next year. So, we鈥檝e met each other鈥檚 families. The problem is, Nimi鈥檚 family seems to have decided I can also be an ATM.

It started with her younger sister asking me for a birthday gift. She reached out to me on WhatsApp and was like, 鈥淏ro Lekan, my birthday is on so-so date. Buy me a gift o.鈥� I didn鈥檛 think it was a big deal, so I promised to buy her one. Later, she asked me to monetise it instead. So, I sent her 鈧�20k. 

This was in December 2025. Some days later, her younger brother asked me to do Christmas for him, and I sent him 鈧�10k. When I visited their mum for the New Year, she complained about her damaged phone charger, so I bought her a new one. 

Since then, it鈥檚 like I opened the floodgates of requests. At least once a month, Nimi鈥檚 siblings or mum would call me to complain about something, and I鈥檇 feel like I had to send money.

罢丑别听听is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.听Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.听.

Does Nimi know about this?

Not at first. But when I noticed the pattern her family was bringing, I complained to her about it. This was around March. She wasn鈥檛 happy about it and warned them to stop, but just a few weeks ago, her brother still called to ask for a loan.

I鈥檓 concerned that this will be a regular occurrence after we get married. So far, Nimi has been practically independent and handles most of her financial responsibilities herself, but it won鈥檛 remain the same after we marry. I鈥檒l have to handle most of the bills and take care of her. I鈥檓 worried that 鈥渢aking care of her鈥� will extend to her family, too.

Of course, it鈥檚 not bad to support your spouse鈥檚 family, but Nimi鈥檚 family is extra demanding. I don鈥檛 want a situation where I鈥檓 working just to feed someone, or some family members will be sitting one place, feeling entitled to my money.

Hmmm

It鈥檚 a major concern for me. I haven鈥檛 really talked to Nimi about this because I know how she鈥檇 react. She鈥檇 most likely take it the wrong way and say something like, 鈥淚 will support them myself. We won鈥檛 ask for your money.鈥� But it鈥檚 not that simple. 

In marriage, both partners should be one in every aspect, including financially. I believe both partners should pool resources to run the home. It can鈥檛 be a case of, 鈥淭his is my money. I鈥檒l spend it however I like.鈥� We should both discuss and decide on how we鈥檙e spending. 

For instance, if I鈥檓 bringing more money, I won鈥檛 say I鈥檒l spend it all on myself. If my wife has a need, she can just take it. I wouldn鈥檛 be comfortable if she鈥檚 spending like that on her family, or if she wants to keep her own income separate so she can spend it on them.

Nimi says she agrees with the idea of pooling resources, but I get the sense it鈥檒l be an issue for her. She鈥檚 quite independent and will most likely push back if I try to determine how much she supports her family. Also, if she鈥檚 broke and her family has a need, she鈥檒l turn to her husband for help. Will I say I can鈥檛 give her family money, even though I don鈥檛 actually want to? I don鈥檛 want to become their breadwinner.

It seems you both have non-negotiables to work through

I guess so. Sometimes I think that couples don鈥檛 need to be 100% compatible to get married. I mean, husbands and wives will always disagree. We don鈥檛 need to think the same way about everything.

On the other hand, I wonder if this money issue isn鈥檛 a fundamental problem to pay more attention to. I still intend to address this, though. I鈥檓 eager to read what people think about our situation, and if they have any advice I can use.

Let’s talk about what spending on stuff like dates and gifts looks like in your relationship

I love giving gifts. Whenever I鈥檓 out and see anything Nimi might like, I buy it for her. She never buys anything for herself. I also cook for her regularly because she doesn鈥檛 like to cook. I consider it my way of taking care of her.

Nimi also does gifts, but it鈥檚 mostly during special occasions like birthdays. But she does help me out with money. We both don鈥檛 work salaried jobs, so we understand how our incomes can fluctuate. If I鈥檓 broke today, I know I can just call and ask her to lend me money. She has my back.

Do you both have financial safety nets?

Yes, we both have savings. I鈥檓 not sure how much she has, but I encourage her to save between 鈧�50k and 鈧�100k each month. I myself like to save 30% of whatever I make. Sometimes, that鈥檚 around 鈧�100k monthly. I currently have about 鈧�800k in my savings, but that鈥檒l drop to half in a few days because I have to pay rent.

What鈥檚 the ideal financial future you鈥檇 like for you and Nimi?

I鈥檝e been dreaming about us jointly owning a successful event production company. We can do it. We have the skill and experience; it鈥檚 just the money that’s left. 

Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, .

*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

NEXT READ:听 I Can鈥檛 Marry Him Because He鈥檚 Too Comfortable Being Broke

What鈥檚 your earliest memory of money?

It was realising money was important because of how my parents mismanaged their wealth.

When I was about six or seven years old, I constantly heard stories about how my dad came back from overseas with bags of cash. We were living in a choice area of Lagos. We even had two houses, and were building another one in a nearby state. Our neighbours took vacations abroad. We didn鈥檛, but I knew we had money.

The first time I handled actual money was when it all fell apart.

Tell me about it

In 2006, when I was in Primary 4, my dad took a new wife and threw my mother, my siblings, and me out of the house.

I remember the event vividly: my sister was making custard, I was making toast, and we were watching cartoons. My uncles just showed up and told us to pack our things. They dropped us off at a beer parlour, and we sat there drinking Fanta like idiots, with our custard and toast packed inside Tupperware.

We (my mum and siblings) moved to another state to live with my grandmother. She had a small kiosk where she sold petty items like oils and groundnuts, and we helped her run it. I grew a habit of eating groundnuts by the handful because I loved them so much. 

Selling things at that shop was the first time I handled money. It clicked that selling more meant extra money for snacks, or that grandma would give us money to buy fried meat for our rice.

Do you know what your parents did for money before everything crashed?

My dad had several ventures. Before moving back to Nigeria, he was a war veteran and engineer abroad, which was how he made a lot of money. When he returned, he started a massive industrial agricultural business: poultry, pig, and fish farming. 

He was the main supplier of chicken to high-end restaurants and fast-food chains. He also worked with beverage companies supplying flavourings for their juices.

Growing up, I remember boxes of chemicals filling his office. His farm was industrialised and automated, with processing lines and defeathering machines. My mum, who had been doing well working in a bank before they married, left her job to become a housewife and manage my dad鈥檚 business. She handled client acquisition and relations.

When their marriage crashed, my mum鈥檚 source of livelihood crashed with it. My dad was not a financially prudent person. Left alone to run the business, he completely mismanaged it, and the multimillion-naira business failed within a couple of years.

That must have been tough. What happened after you moved in with your grandparents?

My mum got a job at a university and made decent money. While we didn鈥檛 starve, it was a stark contrast to the life we knew. My grandparents were also incredible, industrious people who helped raise us.

How did witnessing that rapid rise and fall affect your view of money?

It taught me a few distinct things. For one, money is fleeting. On the other hand, I believe I can always make money. This isn’t entirely positive because it makes me fearless about starting over. I saw my mum reinvent herself, and even my dad made a decent living again despite his poor habits. I feel like there鈥檚 never a permanent endpoint; you can always rebuild.

I think the whole thing also made me too generous. Because I know money comes and goes, and because I lived through having absolutely nothing, I give heavily. If a friend calls to say they have no food, I will send money, often more than I should.

I鈥檓 realising now that I鈥檝e been falling into the same trap as my parents. My mum was overly generous, which left her with nothing of her own, and my dad was just a poor spender.

Speaking of your dad, did you ever mend fences with him?

My parents briefly reconciled after a few years, but he ruined things again and cost my mum the university job. That triggered about a decade of complete financial stagnancy for us. Things got much worse.

When he passed away in 2022, we didn鈥檛 have a relationship. He was not a good father or a good man. I’m almost 30 now, and I sometimes wonder if I could talk to him about money if he were alive. I basically had to raise myself financially, which made me hyper-independent, but it also means I have a lot of questions about navigating money and no one to ask.

Let鈥檚 get back to you. You mentioned raising yourself financially. When did you start earning your own money?

In 2016, just before my second shot at uni. For context, I鈥檇 been admitted to the first university in 2013, but I dropped out in 2015 due to financial problems. 

My dad wouldn鈥檛 help with the fees, and my mum was struggling to find work. At that point, she鈥檇 moved us out of my grandparents鈥� to another state in the hopes of landing some business contracts. That didn鈥檛 work out, and we lived in a tiny, cramped one-bedroom apartment for years. I didn鈥檛 return to university until 2017. 

Anyway, back to the money part. 

I had started writing fiction and submitted a horror story to a competition. My entry won first place. The prize money totalled 鈧�76,000 and was paid via Western Union. At the time, we were deeply broke, so that was a massive amount of money for my family. I went to the bank near my house, and they gave me the money in a black nylon bag. 

It felt surreal because, as a kid, I used to carry briefcases and heavy bags of cash with my dad’s driver to pay farm workers. At that low point in my life, 鈧�76k was huge. I handed it all over to my mum to pay off some family debts.

罢丑别听听is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.听Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.听.

Did writing become a consistent source of income?

Somewhat. I won two more writing competitions later that year. Around that time, I completed my A-levels (IJMB) and scored 16 points, the highest possible score. I was the only one in my centre to hit it, and it got me direct entry to the university in 2017. 

While waiting for classes to resume, the proprietor of my A-level centre hired me to tutor students for 鈧�1,000 an hour, and I did four to six hours a week.

After he saw how good I was, he recommended me to a larger study centre in town, where I was paid 鈧�2,500 per hour and worked 6 hours a week. 鈧�18,000 a week was incredible money. 

When school resumed, I had to pause tutoring and only pick it back up during holidays and semester breaks.

In addition to tutoring, I made extra money by editing people鈥檚 short stories and novels. The income from this was erratic. Sometimes I鈥檇 get 鈧�10,000 for a short story. The highest I ever made was 鈧�75,000 for editing a 380-page book. 

Were you getting any allowance from home?

None at all. Things were incredibly tight for my mum. I paid for my own school fees and accommodation. Thankfully, it was a public university, so school fees were only 鈧�16k a year, and a standard hostel bed was 鈧�8k, or up to 鈧�30k for a two-person room.

I relied entirely on income from freelancing and getting my fiction published. I鈥檇 get published about four times a year. Some places paid 鈧�50k or 鈧�100k, but many indie journals paid only $15-$20, or 0.05 cents per word. Plus, it鈥檚 a numbers game; I鈥檇 submit 100 stories, and maybe two would get accepted.

I had to learn to manage whenever the freelance gigs dried up. I lived on potatoes because they were cheap. Back then, 鈧�15k could get a student a massive grocery haul: milk, cornflakes, butter, potatoes, tomatoes, onions, toiletries, and even some chocolate bars. When I was completely broke, my friends and mentors would step in to help me, and I did the same for them whenever I had cash.

In 2019, things stabilised slightly. I landed three concurrent internships with literary organisations. They only paid about 鈧�20k/month combined, but it kept me afloat until the internships ended after Covid hit in March 2020. 

What was the lockdown like for you?

Peak suffering. It was the lowest point of my life. My mum, my siblings and I were stuck in that one-bedroom apartment, eating one meal a day. Our beds were on the floor, we had no wardrobes, and we fetched our water from a well.

But in September 2020, I got my first 鈥渂ig break鈥�. An NGO put out an ad for a content creation and social media role. By then, I had four years of freelance writing and social media management under my belt. A prominent activist friend wrote me a recommendation letter. The NGO’s founder recognised my friend’s name, and during our first interview, she told me she loved my profile and hired me on the spot. My salary was 鈧�150k gross monthly, and 鈧�125k after deductions.

I was so happy, but mostly scared. It was my first proper corporate job, and I wasn鈥檛 sure what I was doing. I was just excited that I had money now and things could finally be better for my family. I didn鈥檛 tell them my real salary, though. I told them I was earning 鈧�70k. One of my mentors taught me early on never to let anyone know exactly how much you earn.

Right. What did this new salary mean for you?

I felt an intense sense of responsibility. My family had survived thick and thin together. In 2015, an uncle gifted my sister 鈧�99,000 to buy a Samsung S3 she really wanted, but she willingly handed the cash over to fund family needs instead. Going through that kind of hardship bonds you. I took it upon myself to pay for whatever I could.

So, I was practically giving away the entire 鈧�70k my family thought I was earning. Every month, I gave my two siblings 鈧�15k each, 鈧�20k to my mum and another 鈧�20k to support the house feeding and groceries.

I worked in that role for about a year before joining a media company in 2021. My role was still at the intersection of writing and content strategy. My salary bumped up to 鈧�200k/month. Again, I halved it and told my family I was earning 鈧�100k.

You were still in university at this point, right? How did you balance both?

It was brutal. My classes started at 7.30 a.m. and ran until 12.30 p.m. I鈥檇 rush back to the hostel, grab lunch for 30 minutes, and log into work from 1.30 p.m. until midnight or 1 a.m. I was often exhausted, but incredibly proud. I loved the work, even if I didn’t always love the concept of a job.

I worked at this company from 2022 to 2025, and during that time, I had several performance-based salary bumps. By the time I left, I was earning almost 鈧�700k.

Leaving was a massive risk. I left to join an international publication as an independent contractor. It started as a three-month trial period for a content strategist role at 鈧�1m/month. If I failed to perform within those three months, I’d be left with nothing. I couldn’t combine it with my full-time job, so I just had to take the leap.

Did the risk pay off?

It did. They retained me. After the trial period, I was signed on at $1,200 a month.

Since then, my growth has been incremental, and I keep exceeding expectations. In August 2025, I was bumped to $1,500. By October, it was $2,000. In January 2026, it was increased to $2,900 a month (roughly $3,000 with minor add-ons). Depending on the exchange rate, that鈥檚 about 鈧�4 million to 鈧�4.2 million a month.

That鈥檚 an astronomical leap from 2021. How has your lifestyle changed?

For a long time, I couldn’t save much because I was the sole breadwinner. In 2024, I went to postgraduate school, which cost 鈧�600k in fees alone. I also couldn鈥檛 cook much, so buying food cost me upwards of 鈧�5k to 鈧�10k every single day.

I still live with my family, and we don’t pay rent because a relative owns the building we live in. But I cover all utilities, light bills, and security fees. Last year, when I was making around $1,500 to $2,000, I managed to save about $700 to $800 a month, but lifestyle creep hit because I had to fix our living conditions.

The apartment was in a terrible state. I spent about 鈧�1 million repainting, installing fixtures, buying a proper work desk and chair, and upgrading my wardrobe so I could look presentable for corporate meetings and conferences. I don鈥檛 regret it, though. It was essential for my mental health.

I also recently spent 鈧�2.5 million on a solar and inverter system, which is hands-down the best investment I have ever made.

What do your typical monthly expenses look like now?

This year, I鈥檓 trying to be more intentional about savings and investments. The goal is to set aside at least half of my monthly income, but after random bills and family emergencies pop up, my actual net savings come down to about $1,000 a month.

What does your portfolio look like?

Right now, I have about $4,000 spread across federal bonds and stocks, and about $2,000 in my savings. The savings balance is lower than I’d like because of the solar project, but I’d rather have my money working in investments than sitting idle.

My ultimate long-term financial goal is to hit $2 Million. My dad was phenomenal at agriculture, and I want to eventually return to that industry and build a massive automated farm. My plan is to permanently quit corporate employment once my investment portfolio reaches $500,000 and launch that business.

The $500k goal seems far off, and I often beat myself up for not having more savings. But to give myself credit, I only started earning well about a year and a half ago, and my siblings only recently began to support themselves a bit. So, I鈥檝e been learning how to be financially prudent, disciplined, and maybe a little selfish this year. I鈥檓 always too ready to give out money, and that needs to change. I鈥檓 taking financial courses and learning how to invest. 

One thing I really want to do is work hard for a company that compensates accordingly. I know I work hard and do good work, but I鈥檓 discontent with where I am in the world. I鈥檓 earning more money than I ever have in my life, but I am disproportionately unsatisfied. I鈥檓 hungry, frustrated, and I always feel like I should be doing more.

Why do you think that is?

For one, I should be earning more. I鈥檓 acutely aware of the racial pay gap at my workplace. I鈥檝e noticed that my white colleagues earn more, even though we do the same amount of work, or they do even less.

Also, I should be doing more. I鈥檝e been questioning my career choices, wondering if I鈥檓 actually making any impact or changing lives. I want to do that, but it doesn鈥檛 feel that way right now. I want to make a real impact and also be financially comfortable 鈥� not necessarily super wealthy. 

The impact thing is also hard because I constantly doubt my work. A little bit of doubt keeps you sharp, but it has also held me back from putting myself out there publicly.

I鈥檝e worked with people who are incredibly vocal on LinkedIn, posting these high-flying, viral thought-leadership pieces. Then you meet them in real life and realise they are completely empty inside. I need to have more audacity.

Amen to that

Also, remember what I said earlier about not being afraid to start over? That鈥檚 changed since I started earning more. There鈥檚 a lot more to lose now, so I鈥檓 more fearful of my future. I fear I鈥檒l be stuck in this line of work forever and not get to do meaningful work.

My friends and I recently started a social enterprise/startup, and part of me is constantly wondering whether I should save up $10k-$20k, then quit to take it on full-time. But then the fear creeps in. What if I fail and lose everything? 

So, I鈥檓 constantly in panic mode, wondering what鈥檚 next and how to even go about it.

Regarding earning more, what鈥檚 an ideal amount you think you should be making now?

$7,500 – $10,000 monthly would be a sweet spot. I know people on my level earning more than that, but I鈥檓 willing to work my way up from there. I’m very sure that once I start earning that, I鈥檇 want to earn more. Still, I’m very grateful for where I am. When I was earning 鈧�25k, I couldn鈥檛 imagine earning 鈧�150k.

How would you describe your relationship with money?

It鈥檚 still unhealthy. I’m too flippant with it right now, and it鈥檚 a struggle to change that attitude. I think a lot of it stems from not having strong figures in my life who were good with money. My mum was overly generous, and my dad was just poor at managing money. 

My vice is giving money away, which I鈥檓 consciously trying to change. I’m much better with money now than I was last year. It’s a gradual process.

Is there anything you want right now but can鈥檛 afford? 

Initially, I thought it would be an MBA, but I鈥檝e been doubting if that鈥檚 the next best step for me, given my line of work. I think a Master’s in my line would be better. Or, probably even better, a mentor who can show me the way.

How would you rate your financial happiness on a scale of 1-10?

5. I鈥檓 deeply happy that I multiplied my income, that my siblings are finding their footing, and that I can comfortably provide for my home.

The remaining 5 is completely missing because I am experiencing something like a midlife crisis. I feel this suffocating sensation, like someone is strangling my throat. Everyone on LinkedIn is pressuring you with one massive announcement or another. I know I am a hard worker who delivers exceptional results, but I want to push myself, and I鈥檓 unsure which direction to take.

What would make that score a 10?

Landing a job where I can see the immediate, tangible impact of my brain and hands on human lives, while being compensated accordingly.

Right now, I鈥檓 still at the beginner stage of my financial journey. I鈥檝e mastered making active corporate income, but now I need to master passive wealth creation and long-term financial prudence. I just want to be certain of where I am going.

Once I reach that next stable level, I want to take a one-month trip to the Bahamas, where I don’t have to look at a laptop or worry about work. I鈥檝e never taken a month-long vacation in my entire life. Knowing me, I鈥檇 probably get bored after a week because I get easily consumed by my work, but God, I think I鈥檝e earned the right to try.

Find all the past Naira Life stories听here.

TW: Attempted suicide.

As Told To Boluwatife

For as long as I can remember, I鈥檝e been stuck in the 鈥渄eputy parent鈥� role that society has unanimously placed on firstborn daughters.

As the first daughter of five children, responsibility followed me everywhere. I started cooking when I was 8. Before I turned 13, I was cooking for the whole house, whether my mum was around or not.

I had to make sure everyone was doing the right thing. If my younger siblings forgot to do their homework or broke something at home, it was my fault. Whenever any sibling needed help or money for snacks, they came to me first.

A part of me liked that responsibility. I felt proud when our neighbours called me 鈥渟econd mummy鈥� and praised me for taking care of my siblings. I didn鈥檛 realise how internalising that responsibility would eventually hurt me.

My dad did relatively well when we were younger. We weren鈥檛 rich, but we could comfortably afford the necessities. Things changed in 2017, around the time I graduated from the university. His printing business collapsed, and suddenly, every conversation in our house became about money.

Every other day, my parents would complain about one bill to pay or one debt to settle. My dad had been the primary breadwinner, and my mum鈥檚 income as a clothes trader wasn鈥檛 enough to fill the gap left by his business crash. My only income at the time was NYSC allawee of 鈧�19,800/month, but I started giving my parents over half of that amount. I figured I was helping out. I couldn鈥檛 just watch them suffer.

When I got paid my first 鈧�80k salary from my first job, I gave my brother 鈧�40k to pay his school bus fee. My mum prayed for me that day, saying my children would also honour me as I had honoured them.

I think that incident cemented who I鈥檇 become in my family’s eyes: someone they could depend on for financial assistance.

Gradually, 鈥渏ust helping out鈥� became a full-on responsibility. Everyone started calling me for every financial need. No food at home? Call Janet. Someone needs money for handouts? Let’s see if Janet has money to give. 

I think a lot of it is my fault. I never pushed back on the requests. I preferred to send the last card in my account home and starve rather than have my parents complain about money.

As my income grew, so did my sense of responsibility towards sorting my family鈥檚 needs. I don鈥檛 know how to explain it; I just didn鈥檛 feel comfortable knowing my siblings could get sent out of school, or my hypertensive parents could fall sick worrying about money. Since I had it, I was supposed to help.

I stopped living for myself without noticing. I didn鈥檛 buy things I liked anymore because there was always a more urgent need at home. I was constantly calculating expenses in my head, feeling guilty for the smallest personal expense.

Then the loans started.

I started regularly borrowing money in 2023, when two of my siblings entered university. I鈥檇 attended a public university and faced sexual harassment from cultists and lecturers during my undergraduate days. I didn鈥檛 want my siblings to face the same, so I insisted they go to a private university. 

Another reason I was comfortable recommending a private uni was that my dad had gotten a job by then. He should have been able to pay their tuition. Unfortunately for us, he decided to use the little money he was making to carry women all over the place. 

Tuition responsibility fell squarely on me, and since I didn鈥檛 want my siblings to drop out, I started borrowing money from loan apps to meet the demands. It was small amounts at first; 鈧�50k here and 鈧�100k there. But I was also sorting out other bills at home and trying to survive, so I was taking multiple loans from whatever app would give me money.

At the peak, I owed 鈧�3.8 million across six loan apps and my bank. That was in addition to the small loans I took from friends and coworkers. It got to a stage where people started avoiding me because they knew I would ask for money. 

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On the other hand, loan apps were calling me multiple times a day and sending me threats for not paying my debt. I had to switch off my phone to avoid calls constantly. Whenever I turned it on, it would freeze for almost 30 minutes because of the hundreds of messages and missed calls from loan apps pouring in.

It was around this time that the panic attacks started.

The first one happened in traffic. My chest suddenly became tight, and I genuinely thought I was dying. My hands were numb, and I couldn鈥檛 breathe. I jumped out of the bus and lay down by the roadside because I feared I was having a heart attack. I lay there for about 20 minutes until the tightness passed. People thought I鈥檇 gone mad and gathered around me. I don鈥檛 even know how I managed to leave that place. It was so embarrassing.

The attacks started coming regularly. I鈥檇 be doing random things, and my heart would suddenly start racing, and I would literally hear my heartbeat in my ears. Sometimes, my chest would feel so tight that I wouldn鈥檛 be able to stand straight. Every time it happened, I was convinced I was going to die.

It didn鈥檛 help that the doctor at the hospital I went to told me it was all in my head. For months, I endured regular panic attacks and chest pains. I also lost weight because my throat closed up whenever I tried to eat. You鈥檇 think I would鈥檝e taken the hint and dropped some of my responsibilities at home. I didn鈥檛. I was still sending whatever money I had home when they called.

In late 2024, I lost my job. It was inevitable, really. My productivity had tanked due to the panic attacks, and I struggled to get anything done. Going from being the one everyone depended on to having zero income really affected me. I became severely depressed. 

After a suicide attempt in March 2025, my friend forced me to get treatment at the psychiatric hospital. I was diagnosed with panic disorder and chronic depression. I took antidepressants for a year. I still have panic attacks whenever I face a stressful situation.

My family doesn鈥檛 know about the diagnosis or my mental health struggles. My parents are very superstitious, and I really don鈥檛 want to worry them. However, I鈥檓 consciously learning that I can鈥檛 solve everyone鈥檚 problems. 

I still support my family, but I don鈥檛 take loans anymore. I still have about 鈧�1.5 million in debt on loan apps, but I don鈥檛 intend to pay them off. I focused only on my bank debt, which I鈥檝e cleared.

Right now, I鈥檓 trying to slowly rebuild my life. I now understand that I need to make something of myself and my finances if I truly want to help my family. I can鈥檛 do it from a place of lack and struggle. That means I鈥檒l have to say no to some requests so my finances can grow. 

It鈥檚 been really hard, and I struggle with guilt, but if I don鈥檛 want to return to where I’m coming from, I have no other choice.

Need support? Here are some Nigerian mental health resources that may help.

Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative (MANI) 鈥� Youth-focused mental health support

| Crisis support: +234 916 841 7413

She Writes Woman 鈥� Free teletherapy & crisis helpline

| +234 800 800 2000

SURPIN 鈥� Suicide prevention & crisis intervention | 080 0078 7746

*Name has been changed for the sake of anonymity.

NEXT READ: 鈥淚 Bought Her a Car鈥� 鈥� Nigerians Reveal the Most They Spent on Partners Who Still Left

What鈥檚 your earliest memory of money?

It was when I was 7 years old, in primary three. My mum, who was a teacher at my school, preferred packing home-cooked meals for my siblings鈥� and my lunches. So, there was nothing like pocket money. 

If I wanted money for snacks like Gala or Sprite, my mum would tell me to 鈥渕ake my own money鈥� or something like that. So, I had a stupidly brief moment in primary school when I tried to do just that.

What did you do?

I tried writing comics and making greeting cards to sell to my classmates. The keyword is 鈥渢ried鈥� because I never made any money from it. The cards didn鈥檛 even take off.

I made only one sale: a 鈧�50 comic I sold to my best friend. The very next day, she returned it and asked for her money back because her mum told her to. I gave her the money and pretty much gave up on monetising any skills for a long time. I figured money was for adults.

Speaking of adults, what was the financial situation at home?

My dad worked at an advertising agency, and my mum was a teacher. For a long time, we were fine. We had food, a car, and early access to technology; those boxy desktop computers. My parents prioritised our exposure to the world even when money was tight.

The cracks started showing when I got to secondary school. My dad resigned in 2018; he was forced out of his job during a management change. I was in SS 1, and my parents tried to hide the situation, but I started getting sent out of class because we owed school fees.

By 2020, the shift in our finances became obvious when we moved from Lagos to Ogun State 鈥� we didn’t even move with furniture. We couldn’t afford Wi-Fi, and when the fridge broke, it was never fixed. It鈥檚 still used as a storage cupboard today.

How did this shift impact how you thought about money?

I was pretty much still in that 鈥渕oney is for adults鈥� phase. To be clear, I liked the idea of having money to do whatever I wanted. In fact, a few years after the failed attempts at writing comics, I tried to sign up for one of those websites that pay people to take online surveys. However, there were age restrictions, and I didn鈥檛 have a government ID, so I couldn鈥檛 earn anything.

So, yes, I wanted money. But I wasn鈥檛 particularly attracted to the idea of working for it. My mum recently reminded me that, as a child, I used to say adults were suffering because they had to work every day. That mindset, coupled with my initial failures to make money from offering a service, sort of affected my desire to work for money.

Fast forward to January 2022, and I was admitted to uni, only for an eight-month ASUU strike to begin almost immediately. During the strike, I was at home watching movies, learning French and practising classical guitar. No desire to work or look for money.

However, my attitude to money changed when I got to the 200 level. 

How so?

My sister and I were in uni together (she came in a year after I did), and our parents gave us an allowance as needed. We would track our expenses, make a list of our needs and send it to our parents. They would review and send what they could. 

For instance, if we needed 鈧�50k, they could send 鈧�30k, or the whole 鈧�50k if they had it. I was really trying to save, so when I could, I鈥檇 set aside some of my share of the allowance. 

My second year in uni was also the first time I made actual money. I signed up for the school鈥檚 work-study program and worked as a records assistant at the distance-learning institute, organising messy files 10 hours a week. The job was mindless but fun because I could listen to music. I earned about 鈧�47k that semester.

Around the same time, I landed a remote summer research internship with a university in the US through my department鈥檚 association. That internship was my first 鈥渂ig” pay; a one-time stipend of $160 (about 鈧�260k). 

I even remember how I spent it: 10% to tithe, 50% to my savings and emergency fund, and the remaining for my sister鈥檚 and partner鈥檚 birthdays, and other little expenses.

You鈥檝e mentioned savings a few times. Was it for anything in particular?

Oh yes, an emergency fund. I finally accepted that I was queer when I got into uni. I’d known since I was 15, but I struggled with self-acceptance. However, in uni, I met people who were just like me. It helped me finally be at peace with it and acknowledge that I wasn’t a flawed person.

Foolishly, I came out to my parents towards the end of my 100 level, and their response was, 鈥淚t鈥檚 against God and the Bible,鈥� and all the usual stuff. In summary, they didn鈥檛 accept me. 

The thing is, I know my dad 鈥� he can be really volatile when he鈥檚 angry. He once told me to leave the compound just because I didn’t want to hug him. His temper flares don鈥檛 happen frequently, but I鈥檓 constantly on edge. I don鈥檛 want a situation where they鈥檒l disown me or kick me out, and then I鈥檓 stranded. So, I started saving as a backup in case anything went wrong.

Thankfully, in late 2024, after the internship ended, I found another income opportunity.

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Tell me about it

I applied and got into a three-day writing workshop with a queer organisation in Nigeria. We were paid a transport stipend, but most importantly, I learned I could pitch stories to magazines. 

The workshop organisers partnered with a digital publication and offered a select few the opportunity to submit their writing. I submitted a personal essay and was picked. I can鈥檛 remember exactly how much they paid me (it was in dollars), but it was about 鈧�200k. By this time, it was 2025, and I was in 300 level.

My next income came from tutoring. A family friend ran a French tutoring business and asked me to tutor some of her students. My pay was 鈧�3k/hour, and the classes were held online. I only did it for about eight months. Her students were in different time zones, and they weren鈥檛 serious. They would show up late without a heads-up. 

For context, the classes were late in the evenings, between 10 p.m. and midnight. I鈥檇 wait for hours, and then as I鈥檓 about to sleep, I鈥檇 get texts at 1 a.m. like, 鈥淭hey鈥檙e available now. Can you teach?鈥�

Wild

My income from the French tutorials ranged from 鈧�20k to 鈧�30k per month, depending on how many classes I taught. 

Three months into the French tutorials, I got another gig tutoring a child in the US in mathematics for $15/hour. The class was held for an hour every week, so I made $60/month for the five months the gig lasted. So, there was a period when I was juggling both tutoring gigs. At my peak, I was making between 鈧�105k and 鈧�120k a month. 

However, I was only living on the income from the French classes. I didn鈥檛 touch the $60 (about 鈧�90k) at all because I was still very much preparing for the possibility of being disowned by my parents.

Both gigs ended around September 2025, and I鈥檝e been unemployed since.

How have you been surviving?

On my savings. At the time I lost the gigs, I had saved about 鈧�1m. I would still have close to that figure if not for some back-to-back expenses. I had to pay for a school trip and a national conference, and those two events burned through my savings. 

Right now, I鈥檓 down to about 鈧�500k. I鈥檓 stressed out about touching it more because I鈥檒l be finishing school in four months. Going home won鈥檛 be a death sentence, but I know it鈥檒l be limiting. My parents found out I did the workshop with the queer organisation, and they were not happy about it. 

Whenever I go home now, I get tons of questions about every move I make. They even stopped me from going for a shoot. So, even if they don鈥檛 disown me, they鈥檙e already really controlling. Not having any savings would take away my option of moving away if necessary.

Is there a benchmark figure you think would make moving possible?

Not exactly a figure, but if I can earn between 鈧�600k – 鈧�2m/month, I should be able to find someplace decent. I don鈥檛 even need it to be comfortable. It can be a face-me-I-slap-you house.

I also want to get my savings back up. If I have 鈧�5m in the bank and am earning 鈧�1m/month, I鈥檇 be good. I鈥檓 pitching and applying to a lot of jobs, hoping something clicks soon.

Rooting for you. I鈥檓 curious. You鈥檙e living on your savings. Do you no longer receive pocket money from home?

I do, but it鈥檚 very minimal. The financial situation at home is still really bad. I had to move into a hostel this year because my school cracked down on squatting. My parents went into debt to pay for the hostel, so I can鈥檛 bring myself to ask them for money for food or data. 

Since February, I鈥檝e only received about 鈧�27,500 from home. There鈥檚 no specific amount to expect. My mum just sends 鈧�5k whenever she can. So, I鈥檓 practically living on my savings and trying to spend as little as possible.

What does this look like on a monthly basis?

I try to keep my monthly spending between 鈧�50k and 鈧�60k. That 鈧�30k for feeding includes lots of garri and spaghetti.

As you can probably already tell. I鈥檓 stringent with money. I don鈥檛 spend anyhow. I imagine I don鈥檛 have any savings, so I often forget it, which helps me not spend. 

Is there anything you want right now but can鈥檛 afford?

OMG, there are so many. I need a new laptop battery and a new phone 鈥� actually, what I need is cloud storage. I can still manage this one. I also need money for food. I literally cannot afford food. 

I鈥檓 in my final year and have project expenses. Printing costs 鈧�50-鈧�100 per page, and my questionnaire is 4 pages long. I need to distribute 250 copies. I only printed 20 and stopped there. I鈥檝e even cancelled out the prospect of participating in FYB events. It鈥檚 someone who can afford to eat and do their project, who can even think of celebrating graduation.

Sigh. I get it. How would you rate your financial happiness on a scale of 1-10?

0. I earn nothing right now. I am burning through savings. I鈥檓 applying for jobs and getting silence or rejections. It鈥檚 stressful because graduating in a few months feels like a deadline. There鈥檚 nothing to be happy about. I just need someone to hire me. I need an income badly. 

Find all the past Naira Life stories听here.

From paying rent and funding relocations to buying cars, gadgets and birthday surprises, these Nigerians opened their wallets wide for the people they loved 鈥� only for the relationships to crash anyway.

鈥淗e said the distance was affecting his mental health鈥� 鈥� Eniola*, 30, F

In 2021, I emptied my savings to help my then-boyfriend relocate to the UK. He鈥檇 received a partial scholarship for postgraduate studies and needed about 鈧�18m to cover the remaining tuition, flights, and other expenses. 

After he raised 鈧�13m, I decided to step up as per 鈥渓oving girlfriend鈥� and emptied my 鈧�5m life savings to support him. Most of that money came from the inheritance my late dad left me. That鈥檚 how stupid I was.

The minute he landed abroad, his replies became slow. Three months later, he told me our long-distance arrangement was affecting his mental health. He eventually ghosted me.

鈥淚 threw her a birthday party. She brought her boyfriend鈥� 鈥� Gabriel*, 29, M

My ex said she鈥檇 never had a proper birthday celebration, so I rented a shortlet, got a saxophonist, and bought her an iPhone 15 Pro Max. I even paid for food so she could spend the day with her friends at the shortlet apartment. Altogether, I spent about 鈧�2.3 million in one weekend.

She cried and said nobody had ever loved her like that. Two days later, she blocked me because I questioned why her 鈥渕ale cousin鈥� slept over after the party. It turned out the cousin was her actual boyfriend.

鈥淚 bought her a car. Then she cheated鈥� 鈥� Banjo*, 41, M

I can鈥檛 quantify everything I did for my ex-fianc茅e, but the most notable one was buying her a car. She鈥檇 always complained about taking danfo, so when I received a windfall payment about five months before our wedding, I happily splurged 鈧�2m on a Nigerian-used car for her. I made the purchase in her name.

Two months later, I caught her cheating with my friend. I didn鈥檛 even have the chance to try asking for the car back because the heartbreak kept me in the hospital for weeks. I almost died.

鈥淚 paid for his gym membership. He met someone else there鈥� 鈥� Oge*, 26, F

I once spent about 鈧�80k on a gym membership and workout clothes for my ex because he felt insecure about his weight. It was his excuse for never taking pictures with me.

The moment this guy started getting fit, he developed newfound confidence and started posting thirst-trap videos on TikTok. He eventually dumped me for someone he met at the gym.

鈥淚 paid her rent, but she still cheated鈥� 鈥� Francis*, 31, M

One year into my relationship with my ex-girlfriend, her landlord raised the rent, which was beyond her budget. I had to help, so I gave her 鈧�600k to complete her rent. 

The following year, I gave her another 鈧�400k towards the same rent. A few months after the second payment, I visited her unannounced and found a pair of men’s slippers by the door. You won鈥檛 believe she said I was 鈥渋nvading her privacy.鈥� On top a house I was paying for. 

I tried for a while to get my money back, but I got tired and let it go.

罢丑别听听is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.听Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.听.

鈥淚 helped her become an influencer, then she suddenly changed鈥� 鈥� Collins*, 27, M

My ex wanted to become an influencer so badly, so I bought her a tripod and added money to swap her iPhone. I can鈥檛 remember exactly how much I spent, but it was around 鈧�300k.

She eventually had a few viral posts and gathered a reasonable following on social media. Then she became a 鈥渇eminist鈥� and started acting like she was 鈥渄iscovering鈥� herself and no longer believed in relationships. Whenever we argued, she鈥檇 be like, 鈥淚 don鈥檛 need any man. So don鈥檛 overhype your importance in my life.鈥� It was a turn-off. 

鈥淗e broke up with me after I loaned him money鈥� 鈥� Chidera*, 29, F

In 2016, during the peak of the Ponzi scheme craze, I loaned my boyfriend 鈧�60k to invest in a scheme. He鈥檇 already started it and needed to 鈥減ay鈥� an upline, but was broke at the time. I was a uni student, so that was all the money I had.

A few weeks later, he broke up with me after he caught me flirting with some other guy. Since I was at fault, I couldn鈥檛 exactly start dragging him for my money. Now I wish I did.

鈥淚 used my savings to get her a laptop鈥� 鈥� Femi*, 24, M

My ex casually mentioned that her laptop was bad and she was struggling at work, so I bought her a fairly used one for 鈧�200k. That was almost all my savings, but I genuinely wanted to help her.

About six months later, she broke up with me because she said we were 鈥渋n different places emotionally.鈥� She still uses that laptop to this day.

鈥淚 spent a fortune travelling to see her鈥� 鈥� Godwin*, 33, M

My first and only long-distance relationship might be the reason I鈥檓 not rich today. I must鈥檝e spent over 鈧�500k travelling back and forth between Lagos and Benin to see my girlfriend. At some point, all my spare money was going into transport and random surprise visits.

She still ended things because she said the distance was 鈥渢oo hard.鈥� I heard from her siblings that she started dating someone in her area almost immediately after we broke up.

鈥淚 financially supported him, but his family disapproved of my tribe鈥� 鈥� Gina*, 35, F

My boyfriend lost his job, so I carried the relationship financially for almost a year. I regularly paid for his data, sent him food and paid the bills whenever we went out. At some point, his mum and siblings were even billing me.

When things got better for him, and we started discussing marriage, his family suddenly had a problem with my tribe. In all the four years we鈥檇 been together, they didn鈥檛 have a problem with it. His family happily accepted my money, but when it was time to settle down, they remembered where I came from.

My boyfriend tried to fight them, but the pressure on our relationship eventually led to our breakup. It鈥檚 for the best. I can鈥檛 marry someone whose family hates me.

*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

NEXT READ:听鈥淗e Blocked Me鈥� 鈥� 10 Nigerians Reveal the Most Ungrateful People They鈥檝e Financially Supported