David* (23) has lived with sickle cell all his life. It has shaped his childhood, relationships and the way he sees himself.

In this episode of On the Streets, he opens up about his journey with sickle cell, a heartbreak he鈥檚 yet to recover from and how his condition  has shaped the way he approaches dating.

What鈥檚 your current relationship status, and how do you feel about it?

I鈥檓 single, and I live with sickle cell. It has affected almost every part of my life, including how I approach relationships. Now that I鈥檓 older and navigating adult life, I鈥檓 learning what it means to build relationships while living with a condition that has always been a part of me.

Let’s start from the beginning. How has sickle cell affected your life?

I was diagnosed with when I was about three years old, so I鈥檝e never really known life without sickle cell.

People treated me differently from a young age. I was bullied a lot in school because my teachers knew about my condition. They weren鈥檛 discreet about it, so my classmates picked up on it and started calling me 鈥渟ickler鈥�.

I also had frequent , sometimes in the middle of school. Some students avoided me as if sickle cell were contagious, while others made fun of me when I was in pain. The teachers would punish them, but it didn鈥檛 stop the bullying.

I was very lonely growing up. My first romantic encounter was in SS2, when I met Amina*.

Tell me about Amina

We both liked drawing, and because I was good at it, we started spending more time together.

She was incredibly kind to me. I鈥檒l never forget having a pain crisis in the middle of class and trying to hide it because I didn鈥檛 want anyone to notice. Amina realised something was wrong, covered for me and even got me snacks. She never made me feel sick or different.

We never officially dated, but were very close throughout the rest of secondary school. Her father was Muslim while my family was Christian, and she always said religion would eventually become a problem. Looking back, it鈥檚 funny that we were already thinking about marriage as teenagers.

My relationship with Amina gave me a very optimistic view of love. I thought I鈥檇 found someone who would always see me for who I was, regardless of my condition.

After secondary school, we stayed in touch for a while, but the connection eventually faded. I tried to keep things alive, but she wasn鈥檛 giving me the same energy anymore. It took me a long time to accept that it was over. I spent most of my first year at university trying to get over her. Eventually, I moved on.

When did you try dating again?

In my second year of university, I met Treasure* through a mutual friend. We started talking because she reminded me of a family friend, and I fell for her almost immediately.

This time, I was upfront about my sickle cell condition. We started as friends and eventually became a couple. By then, my crises had become less frequent. Still,  Treasure knew about my condition and seemed supportive.

How did the relationship go?

It was a pretty chill relationship. We rarely fought, and she could be very kind. But whenever I got sick, things took a slight turn. 

A few months into the relationship, I had a particularly bad crisis and needed a blood transfusion. After I recovered, Treasure became more withdrawn. She started worrying about what our future would look like.

I understood her reservations, and I couldn鈥檛 blame her for having questions. But her reaction made me uncomfortable talking about my health. I started hiding my pain and other symptoms whenever I was around her. 

And how did it affect the relationship?

It created a cycle. She would eventually find out that I鈥檇 been sick, then get upset that I had hidden it from her.

Things became even more awkward after we returned from our internship in 2023. She had fallen out with one of our mutual friends, and while trying to resolve their disagreement, I found out that she had told some of her other friends about my condition. I also learnt that she was considering a break up because she didn鈥檛 see a future with me, and that her family had advised her to walk away.

I was hurt, but I never confronted her about it. It wasn鈥檛 completely surprising because she鈥檇 already grown distant. I was the one pushing to see her and trying to keep the relationship going.

Eventually, I suggested that we break up, and she immediately agreed.

I鈥檓 sorry. How did you move on from that?

The breakup made me angry at my condition. I started thinking that if I didn鈥檛 have sickle cell, none of this would have happened.

So I decided to be much more private about it. 

That was my state of mind when I met Favour*  towards the end of 2024. 

She was also an artist, and I found her on Instagram. I really liked her work, so I slid into her DMs. We started talking and eventually began seeing each other.

I didn鈥檛 tell her I had sickle cell because the relationship wasn鈥檛 defined. But our feelings for each other grew over time, so we made the relationship official in early 2025.

Were you still determined to keep your condition from her?

I never planned to hide it forever. But there was already some uncertainty about our future because she wanted to leave Nigeria for a master鈥檚 in art. I didn鈥檛 want to think too far ahead because I knew she might eventually leave.

I was also doing really well health-wise. I went about 10 months without a crisis, which was the longest I鈥檇 ever gone. For the first time, I started thinking maybe I could keep my condition private and still have a normal relationship.

That changed in July 2025.

Oh. What happened?

I started having severe chest pain and initially thought it was pneumonia. It turned out to be , a serious complication of sickle cell. I was in my final year and had exams coming up,  but I became so sick that even breathing was difficult. My parents had to come and get me, and I spent five days in the hospital.

Favour sent me several messages while I was there, but I didn鈥檛 respond. She thought I was ghosting her. It was the perfect opportunity to tell her everything, but I still couldn鈥檛 bring myself to.

I eventually told her I was in the hospital because of chest problems. She was sympathetic and even came to visit me when I returned to school.

About a month later, I had another pain crisis and hid that from her too. At that point, keeping my condition a secret was really eating me up.

I had fallen in love with her and wanted a future together, so it became harder to pretend that such a huge part of my life didn鈥檛 exist. I became depressed and withdrawn until I couldn鈥檛 keep it in anymore. 

I sent her a voice note apologising and told her everything.

How did she take it?

She was shocked. We鈥檇 already been dating for about seven months, so she was upset that I鈥檇 kept it from her for so long. She told me she needed time to process everything.

I was terrified I had lost her. But a few days later, she came back and told me it wasn鈥檛 a problem. I was so relieved.

Right. But were you convinced?

Unfortunately, I later realised she was still struggling with it. A few weeks later, she came back and told me that after thinking things through, she didn鈥檛 want to continue with the relationship.

She said she didn鈥檛 want to spend her life worrying about my health or wondering what the future would look like. She also struggled with the fact that I hadn鈥檛 told her earlier. She said she might have made a different decision about the relationship if she had known from the beginning.

That hurt because I鈥檇 finally convinced myself that I could be honest about my health and still be loved.

I鈥檓 sorry

We officially broke up in October 2025, but moving on hasn鈥檛 been easy. The mixed signals afterwards made it harder.. We went months without speaking before she reached out around my convocation in January. We had some deep conversations, then she ghosted me again.

One evening, she randomly called to say she missed me and just wanted to hear my voice. After that conversation, she disappeared again.

At some point, I realised I was being pulled back into a toxic cycle. I decided to stop engaging. She sent me another message a few weeks ago, but I ignored it.

Has the experience changed how you think about dating?

Definitely. The breakup was a rude awakening to what it means to navigate adulthood and relationships as someone living with sickle cell.

Now that I鈥檝e finished school and I鈥檓 entering another stage of my life, I鈥檓 thinking about things I never really had to consider before. When should I tell a potential partner about my condition? How much should I disclose? I鈥檝e also started to understand why people call us warriors. I recently had another episode of severe chest pain and had to go to a new hospital by myself. A nurse accused me of exaggerating my pain just to get medication. I hope that one day I can move to a country that better accommodates people with sickle cell. 

Is there anything you think you could have done differently?

I should have been honest with Favour from the beginning. It wasn鈥檛 my responsibility to decide whether she could handle my condition. She deserved the chance to make that decision for herself.

There are people living with sickle cell who have happy lives and families. I still want a relationship, but I鈥檝e also realised that even if marriage or a relationship doesn鈥檛 happen for me, I can still have a beautiful life.

Finally, how are the streets treating you these days? Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10

5/10. I鈥檓 still recovering from the heartbreak. It鈥檚 already hard to open yourself up to someone when you feel different, and when the relationship ends, you have to start all over again.

But I鈥檓 trying to stay optimistic. I鈥檓 focusing on the good things in my life and enjoying my friendships. I didn鈥檛 have many friends growing up, so having people around me now means a lot. We鈥檒l see what comes next.

Read next: 6 Nigerians Share How Their Parents Still Support Them Financially as Adults

Even as adults with jobs, children and responsibilities of their own, their parents still find ways to show up for them financially, whether it鈥檚 paying their rent, sending them monthly allowances or helping them through difficult times.

Ibrahim*, 35

I鈥檓 married with kids, and so are my two siblings. We all have our own jobs, but our dad still insists on sending us monthly allowances. It鈥檚 not because he鈥檚 extremely wealthy or anything. He鈥檚 just always worried about how we鈥檙e coping with how expensive everything is. He constantly says life wasn鈥檛 this hard during his own time, so he wants to chip in. I don鈥檛 know how much my siblings get, but I鈥檓 the lastborn and receive 鈧�150k every month. It鈥檚 something I really appreciate. At this point, he doesn鈥檛 really owe us anything. But he has refused to let us figure things out ourselves.

Bukola*, 29

My parents have paid my rent twice. They initially opposed my decision to move out, but I eventually made them see reason. At the time, my rent was about 鈧�850k, and I could afford it without issues. Then my landlord increased it to 鈧�1.5m in 2024, and I struggled to raise the whole amount. 

I eventually told my mum, who told my dad. I was initially angry because I knew he鈥檇 ask me to come home. Instead, I randomly received a 鈧�1m alert from him for rent. I wasn鈥檛 planning to ask them this year, but he sent it again because my rent expires in October. I probably would have figured out my rent regardless, but having parents who are still showing up for me like that isn鈥檛 something I take for granted.

Seun*, 40

I lost my job last year, and things became really tough. I tried to keep everything from my mum because I didn鈥檛 want her to worry, but she eventually found out. Since then, she sends foodstuff to our house at least once every two months and has put me on a monthly allowance. The funny thing is that she鈥檒l still call sometimes to ask me to do small things, like recharge her phone or buy something. I鈥檒l start panicking that I鈥檓 stressing her finances, only for her to send my allowance again at the end of the month. I鈥檓 finally starting a business soon, and she鈥檚 financing part of it. She鈥檚 my role model for the type of father I want to be. I don鈥檛 subscribe to the idea that your parents don鈥檛 owe you anything once you鈥檙e past a certain age. Obviously, this shouldn鈥檛 encourage entitlement. But you should have that assurance that if everything else fails, there鈥檚 always love and help at home.

Risikat*, 49

I lost my husband in 2023, and since then, my parents have insisted on paying the school fees of my two children. I don鈥檛 even have to remind them before they pay. I work and I鈥檓 also catered for by my late husband鈥檚 estate, but I鈥檓 still grateful that at my age, I have parents who are willing to take care of me like that. They actually wanted to send me money for upkeep too, but I refused. That鈥檚 why they insisted on paying my children鈥檚 school fees instead. I鈥檓 always grateful because having parents who still care for me this way means everything.

Dara*, 32

I鈥檓 32 and still living with my parents, and they still take care of me. When I was about to turn 30, I put so much pressure on myself to leave their house. They weren鈥檛 complaining; I was the one who felt I shouldn鈥檛 still be there. So I moved out and started squatting with a friend, but my life got worse. I suffered in every sense of the word. One day, I went home, and my parents were genuinely worried by how I looked. I broke down and told my mum everything. She made sure I moved back that same week, and they鈥檝e never pressured me.

Deji*, 37

My siblings and I have been blessed with the kindest parents. At our age, we still go to them when we鈥檙e in need, and they come through for us. I鈥檓 always shocked when people complain about black tax because I can鈥檛 relate. In my family, it鈥檚 the opposite. If any of us runs into major financial trouble, our parents are the first people we call. They鈥檝e removed the pressure of thinking you can鈥檛 ask your parents for help after a certain age. I don鈥檛 like asking all the time because I want to maintain that respect, but they don鈥檛 care. They still see us as their little children.

 *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.

For Sunken Ships, Ifunanya talks about holding on even though she felt repeatedly excluded, and the last straw that led her to end the friendship.

How did you and Damilola become friends?

We met at university after I changed my course to Chemistry in 200 level. I already knew of Damilola because she was in the same department as one of my friends, but we didn鈥檛 really talk.

Damilola was the one who decided we should be friends. I don鈥檛 make new friends easily, but she kept finding ways to get close to me. She鈥檇 text me about classes and even walk me back to my hostel. At a time when I was new to the department and didn鈥檛 know many people, she made me feel like I belonged there.

Damilola was thoughtful and generous, and before long,  we started doing almost everything together. 

Sounds cute. And how did the friendship progress over time?

We grew even closer. A few years ago, I had a bad falling-out with a close mutual friend, Rhoda*. Damilola knew what had happened, but she didn鈥檛 want to take sides. 

I was upset because I felt I would have tried to fix things  if two of my close friends fell out. Still, Damilola supported me through that loss. 

That period actually brought us closer. I started seeing her as my best friend, not just someone I was close to.

When did you start noticing a change in the friendship?

It happened gradually after she started dating her now-husband.

They were always on the phone. Sometimes, Damilola and I would make plans to spend time together, but she鈥檇 spend most of that time talking to him. I noticed it, but I didn鈥檛 want to be the friend who complained about her relationship.

One day, I joked that if she ever had to choose between us, she鈥檇 pick me. Her partner didn鈥檛 find it funny. I didn鈥檛 think much of it then, but looking back, I sometimes wonder if that affected how he saw me. 

After a while, I also started feeling excluded. 

In what ways?

Damilola鈥檚 partner is wealthy, and on Valentine鈥檚 Day in 2024, he surprised her with a car.  He also invited some of her friends to celebrate with them, but I wasn鈥檛 invited. 

I only found out when I saw the videos online.

I was hurt because I considered myself her best friend. I didn鈥檛 necessarily expect to be at every event in her life, but I thought I would at least know about something that big. When we eventually talked about it, she said I wasn鈥檛 invited because I was out of town. I accepted the explanation, and we moved on.

Right. But did it happen again?

Yes. A few months later, Damilola casually told me her partner was coming to pay her bride price soon. 

Then, one Sunday night, I opened WhatsApp and saw videos of him proposing to her. Our friends were there, including Rhoda, but I wasn鈥檛.

I was shocked. My best friend was getting engaged, and I was finding out at the same time as everyone else.

People who knew how close we were would have expected me to be there. I couldn鈥檛 understand how we had gone from doing almost everything together to me watching her engagement on WhatsApp.

Did you ask her why you weren鈥檛 invited?

Of course. She said she didn鈥檛 know she was going to be proposed to, so she couldn鈥檛 control who her partner invited. I understood that part, but what bothered me was that she didn鈥檛 seem sorry that I wasn鈥檛 there, and that hurt me even more.

I initially decided not to attend her traditional marriage ceremony. Then she came to my hostel and said she didn鈥檛 want to go through with the ceremony without me. So I went.

I did her makeup and helped with the ceremony. Rhoda was also there on the aso ebi train, even though they weren鈥檛 particularly close. I was emotionally exhausted by the whole situation, but I still showed up because I didn鈥檛 want one painful incident to end a friendship that meant so much to me.

Did things get better after that?

Not really.  Our relationship became more strained. After Damilola moved into her marital home, she kept telling me she鈥檇 invite me over, but she never did.

Then, in December 2025, her husband planned an outing with her friends for her birthday. One of Damilola鈥檚 newer friends, Somto*, lived in the same hostel as me, so I called and offered to pick her up since the venue was far. Somto declined and said she was at a friend鈥檚 place and would find her own way there.

When I arrived at the venue, Damilola, her husband, her siblings and Somto all came in the same car. I was confused because Somto had just told me she was somewhere else.

I asked them about it, and they denied that Somto had been at Damilola鈥檚 house. Later, I privately asked Damilola鈥檚 cousin what had happened.  He confirmed that Somto had been at the house. He even said that when I called, Somto had asked Damilola whether she should answer me or not.

I was embarrassed. My supposed best friend had never invited me to her home, yet someone she had only recently become friends with was there. Worse, they鈥檇 all lied to me about it.

What did you do after that?

I started putting more distance between us. But I couldn鈥檛 bring myself to end the friendship completely.

 Whenever I tried to pull away, Damilola would do something kind that made me reconsider. Like when I fell ill for instance, she sent me food. Those gestures made me believe our friendship was still worth saving.

So what finally made you give up?

After graduation, we got internships in different states. We congratulated each other, but we barely spoke or texted like we used to.

Then Damilola suddenly messaged me to say her wedding was coming up and that she鈥檇 love me to attend. 

She didn鈥檛 invite me to be a bridesmaid or to be involved with the wedding. It felt like such a strange and casual way for someone I鈥檇 considered my best friend to invite me to her wedding. I took some time to sit with how I felt about it, and eventually decided I wouldn鈥檛 attend.

Did you tell her?

I did. And she just said 鈥淥K.鈥� 

She didn鈥檛 ask any questions or try to press further. When the wedding came around in August 2026, I watched everything online. 

Rhoda was there. So were people Damilola barely spoke to in school.

Almost everyone I knew seemed to have been invited. Meanwhile, I was still wondering whether the message she sent me even counted as a proper invitation.

I felt discarded, to be honest.

I鈥檓 sorry.

It was one of the worst things I鈥檇 ever experienced. Some of our classmates even contacted me because they couldn鈥檛 understand why I wasn鈥檛 at the wedding. They knew how seriously I took our friendship. It made me question whether I鈥檇 misunderstood my place in Damilola鈥檚 life all along.

I eventually deleted Damilola鈥檚 number and the numbers of her siblings and parents. I didn鈥檛 want to see any more wedding content. I also removed her from Instagram. That was the end for me.

How has the friendship breakup affected you?

The pain is still fresh. A part of me wonders if I was the problem, but I know I was a genuine friend, and I always did my best for her. I showed up for Damilola even when I felt excluded.

Sometimes, I wonder if she only valued me because I was useful to her in school when we became friends.

Has this affected the way you view friendships?

Yes. I鈥檓 much more sceptical now.

I鈥檝e met amazing people since moving for my internship, but I tell them I don鈥檛 completely trust anyone. I鈥檓 afraid someone else will change without warning and leave me questioning what I did wrong.

Would you reconcile with Damilola if she ever reached out to you?

No, I think our friendship has run its course. I never imagined that she鈥檇 treat me the way she did, and I don鈥檛 think I can ever move past it.

Here鈥檚 a round-up of what these lovebirds got up to this week.

Hilda & Dapper

Hilda celebrated her birthday surrounded by her friends, with her man by her side. We鈥檇 say that鈥檚 a pretty cute birthday accessory.

Adekunle & Simi

These lovebirds only had eyes for each other as they danced the night away. Every night is date night when these two are on the dancefloor.

Femi & Simi

Femi and Simi are currently vacationing in Malta and they’re kind enough to let us in on everything we鈥檙e missing.

Tobi & Anu

Anu celebrated her birthday with family, and these loved-up photos with her husband might just be our favourite part of the celebration.

Deacon Famous & Mawusi

Deacon Famous and his wife Mawusi dedicated their first son in church, and the whole family looked especially dreamy in blue.

Ibrahim & Linda

Ibrahim and Linda are proof that love is sweeter when you marry your best friend. They kicked off Ibrahim’s birthday celebration with this cheeky video.

Timini & Bimbo

Timini and Bimbo know how to get tongues wagging. Are the onscreen couple hard-launching a ship? Are they teasing a new movie? We’ll have to wait and find out.

Chidi & Treasure

Time flies when you’re in love. Chidi and Treasure celebrated their first wedding anniversary and they looked very much in love.

Chris & Dara

Guess who was on this week鈥檚 Love Life episode spilling the beans? You guessed right. Read their Love Life interview here. 

Toolz & Tunde

Our longtime favourite couple steps out together to celebrate love, and it’s a pink-themed affair.

Which couples should be on our next edition of Baewatch?

Read Also: 7 Nigerian Celebrity Couples With the Cutest Post-Wedding Glow-Up

We asked these Nigerians to share the moments they realised their fathers were jealous of them. From fathers who saw their children’s success as a threat to those who turned every achievement into a competition, these are their stories.

“My father thought I was taking his place” 鈥� Tayo, 27, M

My father had a good-paying job until his employer laid him off. Everything changed after that. My mother was equally unemployed because he insisted on being the provider, so when he lost his job, 聽 we started living on scraps.聽

Thankfully, I found a well-paying online job and started contributing to the family. I聽 bought food, paid bills, helped my mother start the clothing business she’d always wanted, supported my father when I could, and even helped my brother find work.

Then my father called a family meeting and demanded that I quit my job. He said he was still the man of the house and, while he was alive, no one would do his job for him. When I refused, he stopped speaking to me, refused food, and eventually told me to leave our home.聽

“My dad couldn’t stand my mum’s affection for me”鈥� Somto, 24, M

My dad and mum fought a lot when I was growing up. He’d raise his voice, and before you knew it, my mother had already tied her wrapper, ready for anything. Whenever they fought, she made food only for herself and me. Eventually, my dad started making their fights about me. He couldn’t stand that even when my mum was angry with him, she still cared for me. He started calling me “mummy’s boy” whenever he could.聽

My mum never told us anything about their fights or said a word against him. But I wasn’t blind. I noticed how jealous he became of the affection she showed me, especially when he wasn’t getting any himself. Even after they reconciled, his disdain for me remained.

“My father hated that I always found a way around his obstacles”鈥� Bukky, 31, F

I’d heard of mothers being jealous of their daughters, but I’d never heard of a father being jealous of his own child until it happened to me. My father had a hard life, so I thought he’d want me to have an easier one. Instead, he hated that I could adapt and make a way around problems he put in front of me.聽

He sent me 鈧�5k a month for school, and always reminded me that he received less in his time. When I got a caf茅 job and started writing, he disliked that too. He refused to buy us a washing machine because he never had one. I simply started using dry cleaners. I always found a way, and he hated that I wasn’t struggling the way he had at my age. One day, he admitted that he hated how I kept overcoming every obstacle he created.

“My father slut-shamed me for keeping our family afloat”鈥� Zee, 27, F聽

My father is a strict police officer. One day, after an argument with my mum, he travelled without leaving money or foodstuff for the family.聽

I had a good job, but I’d never told my parents my salary. I told my father I earned 鈧�30k even though I earned over 鈧�250k. When he left, my mother panicked about how she’d take care of my siblings, so I stepped in. Two months later, my father returned and was shocked by how well we were doing. I’ve even fixed a few things around the house. When he discovered I was responsible, his expression changed. He began calling me a prostitute and questioning where I got money. It felt like jealousy because his family no longer depended on him.

“My dad turned my wins into a competition”鈥� Chidi, 23, M

I love my father, but he has a habit of jealousy. Once, he took me to a bar, and the woman serving us was smitten with me. She kept calling me a “”ine boy”” and even gave me extra nkwobi for free. When she refused to give my father any, he went quiet for almost the entire night; it was clear he was angry.聽

Another time, he was arguing with two friends, and I pointed out that they were wrong and backed it up with facts. His friends praised me, but afterwards, my dad said that I was trying to prove I was smarter than him. Eventually, it became a pattern. Whenever I did something well, he found a way to turn it into a competition.

“He couldn’t understand why I could show up for everyone else, but not for him”鈥� Njideka, 37, F聽

My father left when I was young and started another family. Years later, he came back expecting me to welcome him with open arms and take care of him because I was his daughter. The thing is, I’d spent years learning how to care for everyone without him. I helped my mother, supported my siblings, showed up for friends and even went out of my way for people who he knew.聽

But when he asked me for the same care, I refused. He became bitter whenever he saw me helping someone else. He’d rant about how I thought I was bigger than him, and remind me that he was once where I was before. He’d say things like, “Our money will finish.” I think what hurt him most was knowing I was capable of being generous, just not to him.

Read Also: 7 Nigerians Reveal Why They Never Want to Be the Main Partner聽

Bisola* (29) and Omolola*(28) had been her best friends since university. So when Bisola lost her job in 2024, she trusted Omolola to help her find another one. But when she found out that Omolola had been keeping job opportunities from her, she decided to give her a taste of her own medicine.

At the end of this story, you鈥檒l get to decide: did she fuck up or not?

This is Bisola鈥檚 dilemma as told to Betty:

Omolola and I met at the university in 2016 and became close almost immediately.

She was a year behind me, but we did almost everything together for the rest of our time there. We cooked, studied, and spent the holidays together with my family. By the time we graduated, she had become more than a friend to me.聽

Even after I moved to Lagos, we stayed close. She lived in Ibadan and visited me often.

Then in 2024, I lost my job unexpectedly. 

I was worried about how I鈥檇 pay my rent later that year. As soon as she heard, Omolola came to Lagos and stayed with me for a few days. She encouraged me and promised to send me any openings she found.
At first, she made good on her promise. Several times a week, I鈥檇 wake up to job application links from her. She was also looking for a new job, so she asked me to send her anything I found. This gave me extra motivation because it felt like we were in it together.

But after about three weeks, I noticed I was sending her far more opportunities than she was sending me. I figured work was keeping her busy, so I didn鈥檛 think too much of it.聽

Then Ann*, one of my friends, called me about an opening she thought I would be interested in. She said she鈥檇 already messaged Omolola about the role and asked her to tell me to apply, but Omolola had told her I wasn鈥檛 interested. I never said that.

To make matters worse, Ann casually mentioned that Omolola had received two job offers. I was shocked. We spoke almost every day, and she hadn鈥檛 mentioned either of them. One of the offers had even come from an application I鈥檇 sent her.

Only two nights earlier, she鈥檇 listened to me complain about another rejection email and encouraged me not to give up. I called her immediately.

When I asked why she鈥檇 told Ann I wasn鈥檛 interested in the role, she became defensive. She claimed she鈥檇 assumed I wouldn鈥檛 want it because the salary was lower than what I鈥檇 earned at my previous job. I reminded her that I was unemployed and worried about rent, so it wasn鈥檛 her place to decide which opportunities were good enough for me.

When I asked about her two new jobs, she went quiet. She admitted she hadn鈥檛 told me because she felt awkward. She knew I was struggling and didn鈥檛 want it to look like she was celebrating while I was still unemployed.

I didn鈥檛 buy it. I鈥檇 been sending her opportunities without worrying that she might get them before me. I couldn鈥檛 understand why she couldn鈥檛 extend the same generosity to me.

She apologised and insisted she hadn鈥檛 deliberately tried to block me from getting a job. She also promised she鈥檇 keep sending me openings. I accepted her apology, but the entire experience changed the way I saw her. A few weeks later, I finally got a new job. I was relieved, but I didn鈥檛 tell Omolola. I only shared the news with my family and Ann, who had continued to check on me and send me openings. Omolola only found out when I posted about my first day on my WhatsApp status.

She called to congratulate me, but I could tell she was hurt. She asked why she had to find out from my status like everyone else when we were best friends. I told her I鈥檇 simply followed her example. She apologised again and said she understood why I was angry, but she thought we鈥檇 moved past the issue. I thought we had too.

Then Omolola lost both of the jobs she鈥檇 gotten. They were remote, and she鈥檇 convinced herself she could handle both at the same time. At first, it worked. Eventually, she started missing deadlines and couldn鈥檛 keep up with both workloads. Within a few months, she was unemployed again.聽

I felt bad for her. Whatever happened between us, I still cared about her. I called regularly, listened and reassured her that she鈥檇 find something else.聽

Around the same time, Ann also started looking for a new job. I knew my company had an opening that suited her, so I sent it to her. She applied, got the job and was excited.

Then she posted a WhatsApp status thanking me for helping her land a new job, and Omolola saw it. She sent me a private message almost immediately. She wanted to know why I鈥檇 helped聽 Ann, even though I knew she was job hunting.

I聽 explained that Ann was the better fit for the position, but she didn鈥檛 believe me. She said I was punishing her because our positions had reversed. She reminded me of how she鈥檇 helped me when I first lost my job. I tried to explain the situation, but she wasn鈥檛 having it, so I backed off.

Now, we barely speak. 

Some of our friends think I should have prioritised her to prove there was no bad blood. Others think she only understands how much she hurt me because she has now experienced something similar herself.

I still care about her, and I don鈥檛 want our friendship to end over job applications. But I also don鈥檛 want to keep showing up for someone who has already shown that she might not do the same for me.

Read Also: Na Me F鈥� Up? I Left My Wife at Home for a Weekend Trip With My Friends

Chris (36) and Dara (34) met through Couch Surfing in 2021. 

On this week’s Love Life, they talk about a squeezed taxi ride in Togo that changed everything, a “what are we” conversation that took months to turn into an actual relationship, and building both a marriage and a tour company across two continents.

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this聽.

What’s your earliest memory of each other?

Chris: 2021. I’d gotten a Nigerian visa right before the pandemic, valid for two years, and I never got to use it. With a few months left before it expired, I booked a short weekend trip to Lagos over July 4th. At the time, I was really into Couch Surfing, which is a website where you can meet locals and stay with them during your travels. That鈥檚 how I found Dara’s profile. 

She’d travelled around West Africa and seemed passionate about exploring Nigeria too. I thought she was an interesting person. So I messaged her, introduced myself properly, and told her about my travels. Thankfully, she responded quickly enough and offered to host me at her home in Nigeria. She said she’d show me around Lagos, and we could even take a trip to Abeokuta. I was sold immediately.

Dara: That鈥檚 also my earliest memory of Chris. I’d been on the Couch Surfing website as a guest for about a year before I got my own apartment and started hosting. But Chris wasn’t my first guest. A few months earlier, I鈥檇 hosted another guy from Singapore. 

Chris reached out in June, and I was really tickled when he mentioned that he’d been to over 130 countries. He also introduced himself properly instead of just asking to crash at mine. He shared in detail the last country he visited, why he鈥檚 interested in seeing Africa and why he wants to visit Nigeria. I was sold.

Coincidentally, I’d also just started a personal project to visit 30 Nigerian states before turning 30, so when someone said “come show me Nigeria,” I was thrilled to play tour guide.

Take me through his first visit. How did that go?

Dara: He arrived on July 4th. It was a Saturday morning. I picked him up from the airport, we dropped his bags at my place, and went straight to Abeokuta the same day. We didn鈥檛 waste time at all. We made it down to Olumo Rock in Abeokuta, visited the Olusegun Obasanjo Presidential Library, and I got him to try amala and okra. 

I remember he was somewhat hesitant with the okra, so we swapped bowls, and he ended up loving my plate of amala. The next day, we were back in Lagos. He still wanted to see so many places, so we did the Nike art gallery and the beach. That was where he filmed his first viral video, joking that people had warned him not to come to Lagos because he’d die. It got about 5000 views in a day, which felt massive at the time. By Monday, I went to work and left him the keys to explore Lagos Island alone before his evening flight.

Curious, Chris. What were your thoughts on staying with a complete stranger?

Chris: I’d done Couchsurfing with plenty of people before, so I wasn’t overly anxious. I was just excited for the places we’d see, and Dara seemed like a genuinely nice person. There wasn鈥檛 much to worry about.

Dara: On my end, I always take safety precautions with male guests. I’d sleep in the living room on a spare duvet and lock the door separating it from my bedroom, just for my own peace of mind. Nothing strange happened at all.

That first trip really stood out for a number of reasons. First, I was intrigued by the way he ate. Most foreigners are visibly cautious with their first bite of unfamiliar food, but Chris just dug in like he’d been eating Nigerian food his whole life. Second, and this one really got me, I accidentally put way too much pepper in some noodles I鈥檇 made for him before heading to work that Monday. I panicked the entire morning thinking I’d basically poisoned a white man. I didn鈥檛 know how to ask when I called to check on him, so I spent some time dancing around the question. When I finally asked if the noodles was too spicy, this man just said,  鈥淚t was fine.鈥� I’d always told my siblings I could never marry a man who couldn’t handle pepper, so that moment stuck with me. 

Were either of you dating at the time?

Chris: I was single, doing a little casual dating, but nothing serious. I guess I was also looking, but I didn鈥檛 have a clear picture of what I was looking for. I remember going back to the US and briefly thinking about Dara. In my head, I thought, 鈥淭hat girl was really nice. Now, I have to find someone like her in the U.S.鈥� I knew I didn鈥檛 want a long-distance relationship, so I wasn鈥檛 really seeing the vision with Dara at the time.

Dara: I was actually single too. I’d just stepped back from something that was starting to feel one-sided, so I was putting my energy into my travel goals instead. 

Got it. What happened after Chris returned to the US?

Chris: It鈥檚 actually so funny because we both have different memories of how things played out back then. In my head, we stayed in touch for just a bit and that was it. But years later, while filing visa paperwork, we actually went back through some of our old messages and realised we’d been talking a lot more than either of us remembered.

She鈥檇 mentioned taking a trip to Benin, Togo and Ghana and I thought that was really cool. Those were countries I also wanted to visit. So we kept in touch until the next time we planned another trip together. 

Oh. When was that? 

Chris: I came back in September, two months after the Lagos trip. This time around, we did a trip to Benin and Togo together and spent about a week together.

Dara: Before that trip, we actually had a very direct conversation about room arrangements, which isn’t always easy for women to bring up without it sounding like an accusation. Chris offered separate rooms if I wasn’t comfortable sharing, which put me at ease. 

That trip had its share of chaos, too. He got turned back at the Togo border, and we had to sort out special permits in Benin, so we spent a lot of time just waiting around and talking about our families, upbringing, everything. 

Chris: That trip is really where we moved from acquaintances to actual friends. We talked so openly that I remember thinking, 鈥淭his is someone I could see myself with,鈥� but I kept reminding myself that we couldn鈥檛 be a thing because of the distance.

Dara:  I remember this really funny moment during our taxi ride. His arm ended up around me, completely unplanned, and I could tell he was trying so hard not to invade my personal space. It felt like something straight out of a K-pop drama. 

When we got to the airport, the hug we shared felt a lot more different from the first time he visited. It felt warmer, like I already knew I’d miss him.

Awwwn 

Chris: After that visit, I think we agreed I鈥檇 come back in November for a friend’s wedding as her plus one. I remember asking her if I could come along because I鈥檇 heard so much about Nigerian weddings. It was also easier to plan the visits because I worked for an airline and there were daily flights to Lagos. So I could just jump on any flight at any time. Unfortunately, my mum passed away that October, so those plans fell apart.

That loss pulled me into my shell for a bit. I wasn鈥檛 really speaking to anyone. 

Dara: He told me about it almost immediately; I was one of the first people he told. We didn’t talk much for about a month while he grieved, though I checked on him weekly. There was a moment he broke down on a call, and I remember wishing so badly I could physically be there for him. That’s when I realised he wasn’t just a random friend to me anymore.

Was this when things picked up between you again?

Chris: In a way. By December, I鈥檇 stepped out of my grief a little more and we were talking more again. I mentioned wanting to see rural Nigeria, especially somewhere outside Lagos. Then Dara mentioned her grandmother’s village in Ekiti state.

Dara: I told my dad I had a foreign client I wanted to bring to the village, which wasn’t entirely a lie; it was just easier to frame it that way at first since I didn’t want to explain that I was hopping on a trip with a random white man. 

Anyway, we planned the trip and went to Ekiti in February 2022. We met my grandmother and step-grandfather, bought a live chicken at the market, and cooked over firewood outside, nothing fancy at all. He was enamoured by everything. These were things I considered pretty normal but they were new experiences for him, and he was just happy to witness it all. Chris still says that meal is still one of the best he’s had in Nigeria. Even though he also woke up in the middle of the night needing the bathroom because the food was so spicy for him.

Screaming. Was it still purely platonic at this point, though? 

Dara: To be honest, I’d already confided in my sister and aunt that I might be catching feelings, so I’d been planning to bring it up myself at some point. But Chris beat me to it on the second night of the Ekiti trip, and I was so relieved. I’d been overthinking every delayed reply to my messages, wondering if I was being too obvious or too into him.

Chris: I asked her what she thought about us. I didn’t go in expecting us to declare ourselves a couple right there, I just felt like we needed to actually acknowledge that something was there instead of pretending otherwise.

Dara: We agreed there was something between us, but decided to keep things as they were, given how much distance stood between us, and just see where it went without putting a label on it yet.

Oh

Chris: Well, we didn鈥檛 have to stall for too long because we became official by August. There were a few reasons for the gap. I had visa complications ahead of a planned May visit, had to renew my whole passport, and missed that trip entirely. 

Fortunately, Dara had a trip planned to Senegal with some of her clients,  so we agreed to meet there. I joined her in Senegal for my birthday in June, and it was just yet another time spent bonding and getting closer. We still hadn’t made anything official.

I came back to Nigeria in August and Nike invited me to a friend鈥檚 wedding party. The night before the wedding, I told her something along the lines of 鈥淵ou know we should make this official and be a couple,鈥� and that was it. We became a couple.

Sweet. What were the early days of the relationship like?

Chris: It didn’t feel that different, since we’d already built so much emotional closeness over the previous year. We just kept doing what we’d been doing, travelling together whenever possible. One trip that stood out was Spain; it was her first time in Europe after a couple of visa denials and an appeal. We did Madrid, Mallorca, Barcelona, and she continued on to France and Portugal after I flew back to the US. 

Dara: Although communication was tricky sometimes in those early days. Our individual accents took some getting used to. He actually understands me better than his own family does, so he ends up constantly translating for them.

Chris: Something else that really shocked me was how she addresses elders. When Dara met my dad, I told her to just call him Brian, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She kept saying Mr Brian, since calling an elder by their first name felt deeply disrespectful in the Nigerian culture. But those were pretty much what the early days together felt like. Lots of learning about each other, particularly about our different cultures. 

Got it. How did the relationship progress over time up to the point of marriage?

Chris: As I mentioned, we were really committed to knowing and understanding each other before committing to a life together. The idea of marriage itself  built gradually over a lot of conversations. What really convinced me about Dara was her ambition, her work ethic, her humble background, and how well we worked as a team. We’d also talked about whether she’d be open to relocating, and she was genuinely excited about the idea, given how much she already loved to travel. I also wanted her to meet my family if we were going to get married, so we started planning how we could make that happen.

Your family already met Chris during the Ekiti trip. What did they think of the relationship, Dara?

Dara: My dad was incredibly receptive; way more than I expected. The Ekiti trip really won him over. Chris had asked to visit my paternal grandfather’s grave in his hometown, even though we hadn’t planned to. I sent my dad a photo of us by the graveside, and that meant the world to him. I remember he was also worried about fixing the toilet and a couple of other things, but he didn鈥檛 even have to do that because Chris was fine with experiencing us just as we were. I think that from that moment on, he had such a positive impression of Chris. He knew he wasn鈥檛 just being polite for show. Every time he called, he asked about Chris. So when I finally told him about our relationship, he smiled. He didn鈥檛 have any reservations at all. As for my mum and siblings, they鈥檙e all open-minded and since Chris is a likeable person, he didn鈥檛 have to do too much to win them over.

Let鈥檚 talk about meeting Chris鈥� family. How did that go?

Chris: Since Dara couldn’t get a US visa in time, we arranged for her to meet my family in Mexico for Thanksgiving instead, about nine months before the wedding. She flew in from a Europe trip to meet us in Puerto Vallarta, which felt like the easiest way to get her close to what life in North America might look like without dealing with the visa issue directly.

Dara: I was so nervous, I hid behind him at the airport when I saw his family approaching. I was completely shy. Still, the meeting was nothing like what I’d built up in my head. Everyone was super warm and friendly, even though they didn鈥檛 really understand some of the things I was saying. We’ve since travelled together as a family multiple times.

Chris: After that, I wanted to meet her father too, even though we still weren’t fully decided on marriage at that point. We had to keep it low-key, almost secretive, because once her mother or aunties found out, the whole extended family would start planning a wedding immediately. We met quietly at a family friend’s house so it wouldn’t raise suspicion. I really liked meeting him as well. He was warm and receptive once I shared my intentions.

While this was going on, we also had to talk to an immigration lawyer to figure out our options. He told us it made more sense to marry sooner rather than have a long engagement, so we could start the spousal visa process early. 

That meant planning everything backwards, picking a date and telling our parents first, then figuring out the ring, the outfits, the food, all of it.

Right. When did you actually get married?

Chris: May 23rd and 24th, 2024. The first day was our traditional wedding at her family compound. The second day was a court wedding, done at the Airbnb where my family was staying, since officials can come to you for a fee instead of going to the courthouse.

What was that first year like, considering you still had to deal with the distance?

Chris: It was bizarre, honestly. We got married and then went right back to our separate countries, me in the US, her in Nigeria. It felt strange being legally married but not actually living together, seeing each other maybe once a month using flight benefits from my airline job.

Dara: I survived that first year by throwing myself into work. It was harder for him, since he had to fly back and forth constantly. At one point his work schedule nearly changed in a way that would have made visits almost impossible. We got through it by reminding ourselves that some long-distance couples go a full year without seeing each other, and we at least had monthly visits.

Chris: Not living together also meant there was little to nothing at all to fight about. So that had its little perks in a way. But I鈥檝e been a lot more present in Nigeria in the past year, and we鈥檝e been living together as a couple. That has taken some adjustment from both of us. 

What do you mean?

Chris: New kinds of friction showed up. Different habits around the bathroom, the kitchen, bedtimes, and what to eat. Small things that become bigger when you’re constantly around each other.

Dara: The deeper issue was how differently we handle conflict. I’m confrontational, I’ll tell you immediately if something bothers me, even if it’s small. He tends to avoid it in the moment, but then it builds up until he suddenly brings up a whole list of things that annoyed him weeks earlier, all at once. That usually felt unfair to me, since I couldn’t address issues I didn’t even know existed.

Chris: I think it’s partly how I was raised, and partly cultural, too. Nigerians can be loud and direct in the moment but quick to move past it afterwards, whereas I tend to hold things in and process quietly, sometimes for too long. We’ve been actively working on it. I’m trying to speak up sooner rather than let things pile up into one big confrontation later, and Dara has had to learn to hear feedback from me without feeling like she’s being ambushed all over again.

Earlier, you mentioned that you work well together as a team. How did that come about?

Chris: We started a tour company bringing international visitors to Nigeria. I handle the big picture planning, the itineraries, and the vision for each trip. Dara is much better with the logistics, the budgets, the day-to-day details I tend to struggle with.

Dara: Working together has actually strengthened us as a couple. We’ve learned how to divide responsibilities based on what each of us is naturally good at, rather than trying to do everything the same way.

Neat. What’s the best thing about being with each other?

Chris: I’ve learned an enormous amount about Nigeria and about Dara specifically, things that will stay valuable for the rest of our lives together, even if we end up somewhere else entirely one day. It’s made us better partners and hopefully better parents eventually. I love how well we complement each other in practically all areas of our lives. Where I’m weak, she’s strong, and vice versa.

Dara: Chris genuinely feels like finding a puzzle piece that fits completely. I have no doubt that Chris is who I’m meant to do life with.

I like that being with him has amplified my love for travel even more, and we’ve both grown so much individually since coming together. I’ve also had to confront some of my own conflict-related habits from my upbringing, and I’m actively working to unlearn what isn’t helpful.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your love life?

Dara: An 8. We’re friends first, which I think should be the foundation of any marriage, and we’re honestly inseparable at this point; we can barely handle short periods apart anymore. There’s still room to grow, but we’re getting there.

Chris: I’ll also say an 8. Nobody’s perfect, and because we work and live together constantly, we have to be intentional about keeping romance alive rather than letting everything become just about work. That’s the one area I think we can still be more deliberate about.

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this聽.

Here are our favourite marriage glow-ups.

Banky & Adesua

Banky and Asedua Etomi-Wellington are proof that falling in love with the right person is the key ingredient to levelling up your swag.

Adekunle & Simi

From friends and music collaborators to partners in happiness and forever. Adekunle Gold and Simi’s glow-up is proof that love is a legendary life changer.

Cynthia & Ebuka

One thing about the Uchendus? They always deliver. A decade later, they are still serving premium looks, and marriage is clearly their secret sauce.

Davido & Chioma

Davido serenaded Chioma into saying “forever” to him, and honestly, marriage looks good on them.

Stan & Blessing

Stan and Blessing Nze went from Nollywood colleagues to a married power couple, and the glow-up has been undeniable.

Emmanuel & Laju

Ten years in and looking better by the day. Emmanuel and Laju Iren prove that when you truly support your partner, the physical glow-up naturally follows.

Priscilla and Juma

They already broke the internet with their stunning wedding, but Priscilla and Juma鈥檚 post-wedding glow is the real star. Wedded bliss clearly agrees with them.

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Shade and Razaq Okoya 鈥� 37-year gap

Businessman Razaq Okoya and his wife, Shade, have a 37-year age gap. They got married in 1991 when she was 21 and he was 59. They’ve built a successful business together and remain one of Nigeria’s most recognisable high-profile couples.

Beauty Queen Mitchel Ihezue and Prince Nicholas Ukachukwu 鈥� 30-year gap

Former beauty queen Mitchel Ihezue and her husband, Prince Nicholas Ukachukwu, have a 30-year age gap. Their relationship has also sparked conversations about age, marriage and what makes a partnership work.

Richard Mofe-Damijo (RMD) and Jumobi Adegbesan 鈥� 11-year gap

Veteran actor RMD is 11 years older than his wife, Jumobi Adegbesan. The couple has been married for 25 years, making them one of the enduring relationships in Nigeria’s entertainment industry.

Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde and Captain Matthew Ekeinde 鈥� 10-year gap

Actress Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde and her husband, Captain Matthew Ekeinde, have been married since 1996 and have a 10-year age gap. They tied the knot when she was 18 and he was 28. 

Peter and Lola Okoye 鈥� 9-year gap

Singer Peter Okoye and his wife, Lola Omotayo, have a nine-year age gap, with Lola being older. The couple have been married since 2013.

Read Also: We Ranked the BBNaija S11 Pairs Causing Chaos in Biggie鈥檚 House

From lounging on a beach in Benin Republic to seeing the giraffes in Kenya, here are eight African destinations you can book without spending as much as an iPhone 18 Pro Max.

Benin Republic 

If you want an international trip without spending half the weekend in transit, Benin Republic is an easy choice. Spend the day exploring Cotonou, trying local dishes and unwinding at Fidjross猫 Beach. You can also visit the historical sites in Ouidah before ending the day at a quiet beachfront resort.

Average budget for two: 鈧�1.1尘

Ghana

Accra offers good food, thriving nightlife, beautiful beaches and enough activities to fill an entire romantic weekend. You could start your stay with a visit to the Kwame Nkrumah Memorial Park and stop by the  Independence Square for couple pictures. When you鈥檙e ready to slow down, head to Labadi Beach or find somewhere for dinner before checking out the city鈥檚 nightlife. \

Average budget for two: 鈧�1.8尘

Togo

For a slower weekend, Lom茅 gives you beaches, local food and enough sights to fill two days.  Check out the Grand March茅, try Togolese dishes and spend an afternoon along the coastline. The city鈥檚 compact size also means you can experience several attractions without losing precious time to traffic.

Average budget for two: 鈧�900办

Rwanda

Kigali offers beautiful views, peaceful surroundings and plenty of intimate places for couples who want an actual reset. Visit the Kigali Genocide Memorial, shop for souvenirs at Kimironko Market and spend the rest of the day discovering the city鈥檚 caf茅s and art spaces. 

Average budget for two: 鈧�3.4尘

Kenya 

A romantic weekend in Nairobi can include good restaurants, exciting nightlife and unforgettable wildlife encounters. Nairobi National Park offers a chance to see animals without leaving the city, while the Giraffe Centre lets you get up close with the giraffes. You may not have time for a full safari, but there鈥檚 still enough activity to make the trip memorable. 

Average budget for two: 鈧�3.6尘

Egypt

Cairo lets you and your partner fit thousands of years of history into one busy weekend. See the pyramids, visit the Grand Egyptian Museum and take pictures with the Sphinx before winding down with dinner or a cruise along the Nile. Who would pass that up for a new phone?

Average budget for two: 鈧�3.5尘

Tanzania

If your idea of romance involves doing as little as possible, Zanzibar has you covered. Spend your days swimming, eating fresh seafood and taking pictures on the beach, then make time for Stone Town and the spice markets. A sunset cruise or beachfront dinner can round off the trip, but you don鈥檛 need to fill every hour. Two nights won鈥檛 show you all of Zanzibar, but they鈥檙e enough for a proper escape.

Average budget for two: 鈧�4.4尘

Senegal

Dakar offers art, music, great food and a striking coastline for couples who want their getaway to come with plenty of things to see and do. Visit the African Renaissance Monument, browse the city鈥檚 galleries and take a trip to the historic Gor茅e Island. Your camera roll will return from the weekend full of food sights and romance.

Average budget for two: 鈧�4.2尘

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