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Uche’s* (27) outgoing vibe landed him a coveted NYSC posting at the National Assembly. In this story, he talks about the free-flowing cash, enjoying Abuja’s nightlife, and how being so close to power in Nigeria was not all he thought it would be.

Life before…

I grew up in a very humble background. And when you’re in that kind of situation, your reality forces you to create alternate universes where you dream big as an escape.

I wasn’t athletic at all, so while other kids played street football, I disappeared into books. I loved international thrillers from writers like James Hadley Chase and Tom Clancy. My dad would also bring home newspapers, and I devoured those too. So from quite a young age, I was already building an interest in government and geopolitics.

Government was my best subject in secondary school, so I went on to study International Relations at university. I dreamt of becoming a foreign service career officer, maybe even an ambassador one day.

Maybe it wasn’t meant to be, or maybe the chance will still come later. But my time at the National Assembly (NASS) showed me the worst sides of Nigerian politics.

Preparing for NYSC

Ending up at NASS was honestly by chance. I wasn’t trying to get posted there, but looking back now, I see how my choices and attitude made it happen. There was a lot of luck involved too.

At university, I got along really well with my lecturers. With their advice and encouragement, I already had my path mapped out. After my bachelor’s, I was going to get a master’s, maybe even a doctorate, and then join the department as a lecturer at my university.

One of my professors told me that the most likely route to the foreign service roles I wanted was through academia. So I didn’t see NYSC as an opportunity, just an obstacle I had to clear before continuing my academic journey.

That’s why I wasn’t too bothered about where I’d serve. Luckily, I got posted to the seat of power: Abuja.

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Being friendly in camp was helpful

This is where things get serious. First of all, remember, this is Nigeria. For a place like the National Assembly, a lot of placements are already reserved for the connected.

So if, like me, you know absolutely no one, the best way to give yourself a chance is to get into a leadership position at camp. At the time, I didn’t realise I was helping my chances. I was just being myself.

Everybody likes a humble, approachable guy. And that’s naturally who I am. I’m outgoing and I love meeting people. So I had no issues walking up to people to introduce myself and get to know them.

You’ll find that most people want friends but don’t want to be the first to initiate. They put up aloof fronts but are pleasantly surprised when someone stretches out a hand for a shake and starts a conversation.

Because I was forward in making friends, I got quite a number of them. So when the platoon leadership elections came up, I indicated interest, and with  votes from all my new friends and acquaintances, I won. It was a landslide, to be honest.

Platoon leadership was a stepping stone

I became platoon president, but there are other positions too, like vice president or treasurer. Try to get one of these roles if you can.

As platoon leader, your job is to organise your platoon for morning drills, kitchen duty, cleaning, and so on. That means you interact with camp officials a lot. You also coordinate your platoon’s participation in camp events like sports, pageants, and marching. I made sure my platoon did well in everything. We made the podium in all activities.

I had to do a lot of legwork. Not just because I was platoon leader, but because this was Abuja. Let’s just say a lot of the corpers there were privileged.

Some basically came, registered, and left only to return on the last day of camp. Others stayed during the day but went home at night. Black tinted SUVs were constantly coming and going.

These were the type of people who would quickly contribute funds for whatever needed doing, but I had to do the heavy lifting myself. At the end of the day, being active helped me build a good rapport with the camp officials, and that’s exactly what you need to do.

The meeting

Near the end of the three weeks in camp, the officials called us platoon leaders for a meeting. That’s when they asked if we had places we’d like to be posted to.

Considering my career goals, I immediately said the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. But it turned out postings there are in high demand, and far more connected people had already made requests. The  Ministry of Foreign Affairs was off the table, so I was told to pick between the Nigerian Defence Academy (NDA) and the National Assembly (NASS). I chose NASS.

Reporting for duty

Those of us posted to NASS took our documentation and went there. At the gate, once you show your papers, they give you a visitor’s tag and let you in. We were ushered into an office, and from there different offices would come and pick from among us. Sometimes representatives requested specific ethnicities or genders.

Of course, this didn’t happen in a single day. Nigeria isn’t the kind of place where things move that fast. Over several days, we’d go, sit in a room, enjoy the AC, scroll on our phones, and wait. Each day, a few people got picked.

One day, while I was chatting with other corpers, a lady came in, pointed at me and another guy, and said, “You and you, follow me.” We followed.

As we walked, she asked if we knew anybody. We said no. Then she asked the other guy his ethnicity. He was Yoruba. She told him to go to the Speaker’s office. She asked me the same. When she heard I was Igbo, she looked disappointed. She thought for a bit, then told me to go to the office of the Clerk of the House of Representatives and tell them she sent me.

So I went. I met the clerk’s assistant, told him she sent me, and he just pointed me to a desk. That was it.

The clerk’s office

The clerk’s office handles general administration and welfare for the House of Representatives.

On the admin side, all bills pass through the clerk’s office before they ever get to the floor. It’s also where all the keys are kept. If anyone wants to access a room, they come to us.

On the welfare side, once items like office furniture or cars are approved, the budget goes to the clerk. The office receives bids from contractors, buys the items, and distributes them to members.

Most days, I’d come in, greet everyone, then start with the register of keys. People sign keys out, so I’d check who hadn’t returned theirs. Then I’d go from office to office to collect them. That took time, but afterwards you basically just sit, relax, go for lunch, gist, and watch TV.

Some days, though, politics demanded certain bills be passed quickly. We’d stay till as late as 11 p.m., fine-tuning the bill. We worked with the legislative aide of whichever representative owned the bill to make sure it was ready for the floor. I knew my stuff, so my boss valued my input.

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The lifestyle

We were paid a salary in addition to the NYSC allowance. And honestly, money flowed freely at NASS. Any politician who came to the clerk’s office would gift us before leaving. “Corper wee, have this,” “Well done, corper. Take this one.” ₦10,000 here and there, it adds up. I usually left with around ₦50,000 most days.

For a poor boy like me, I hadn’t seen that kind of money before. I was just spending. I wish someone had told me to save.

Almost every day after work, we’d head to Silverbird Galleria to watch a couple of films. From there, we’d go to Trukadero. Opposite Trukadero was Cubana, so we’d cross over. Then off to Moscow Underground. We were basically touring Abuja. I have to admit, the nightlife in Abuja is great. It was really fun.

Getting retained after service… Or not

First tip: know your stuff. I did.

I was really good at my job. The Nigerian bureaucracy is full of inefficiency, so I quickly got to work drafting new process documents to make things smoother. My work started getting noticed, and my boss even wanted me to stay after service. Unfortunately, I didn’t fit very well into the culture there, and that ended up working against me.

But here are some tips that might help you have better luck.

How to get retained

Be morally flexible. At NASS, money flows freely. Too freely. Like I said, I would accept gifts from visiting politicians. But every bill has to pass through the clerk’s office, and people are always looking to grease the wheels with cash. I wasn’t ready to collect those kinds of monies, and in that environment, that makes you “untrustworthy.” They’re very cautious of potential whistleblowers.

Never discuss politics. It sounds ironic, but at the National Assembly, avoid all talk about Nigerian politics. Especially any critique of how politicians aren’t doing well. And absolutely do not talk about religion.

Be humble. Or at least act humble. Basically, be a mumu. Unfortunately for me, I wasn’t.

One day, I came to the office and saw someone at my desk. I politely asked him to get up so I could work. To be honest, I think I fell for a trap. It exploded into a big issue.

Apparently, I’d broken some unwritten rule where you can’t tell someone to get up if they’re “higher” than you in some hierarchy I didn’t even know existed. That’s how I got banished from the clerk’s office to some inactive committee. That’s when I knew it was over.

So yes, be “humble.” Remember you’re dealing with people whose survival depends on staying close to power. If they sense any form of threat from you, they’ll do their best to get rid of you.

Maybe if I had kept my head down, I’d have been retained. Maybe if I had been more of a politician.

In summary…

Assuming you studied an appropriate course (political science, government, international relations, etc) and you find yourself posted to Abuja.

• At camp, be a social butterfly. You’ll need people’s support for the elections.
• Contest for a platoon leadership position. That support comes in handy here.
• If you win the elections, be a very active leader. Be respectful and try to build a rapport with the camp officials.
• When you get the opportunity, ask for your desired placement.
• At NASS, be good at your job, work hard and be humble.
• Fingers crossed Nigerian politics doesn’t do its thing.

*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of subjects

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