Somewhere in Nigeria, a group of men are currently updating their list on how to beautifully ruin someone鈥檚 life with their charm.
As they are updating that list, they are finding new ways to end one relationship with someone else.
It could be you sis, or me. Actually maybe both of us.
But don鈥檛 worry, I cracked the code so we can end this nonsense once and for all.
So far, my investigation has shown the multiple ways a Yoruba Demon can break up with you.
Now you can protect yourself. And if you鈥檙e lucky enough to see any of these signs before the set time, just run!
The first thing I figured out is this: once you start hearing 鈥渋t鈥檚 not you, it鈥檚 me鈥, please just agree, it鈥檚 him.
Just leave him and let him date himself.
According to the Book of Yoruba Demons chapter 7 vs 23, in some cases he actually loves you, but…
鈥ou鈥檙e too good for him.
鈥滲aby, my pastor called me after church and told me we have to end it. He said you鈥檙e not the one for me鈥.
But wait, Tobi you don鈥檛 even go to church.
Once he starts fighting over every little thing, that鈥檚 the beginning of the end.
鈥淏ut why can鈥檛 you just fold the toilet roll when you finish using it? Ha!鈥
鈥淪orry, the number you鈥檝e dialed does not exist, please check the number and dial again.”
Once you hear this more than 4 times, I鈥檓 sorry sis.
Or you try to DM him on Instagram and as soon as you open Instagram you see a picture of his new babe.
鈥淣o no no my eyes are deceiving me. I鈥檝e actually needed glasses for a while now.鈥
Or in most cases you don鈥檛 even get the opportunity to see his babe, because he has blocked you.
At least what you don鈥檛 know won鈥檛 kill you.
While you鈥檙e still in doubt, you head over to his house and that gateman you used to give 50 naira everyday comes out and says…
鈥a aunty, sorry o. Oga said I should not open the gate for you.
The grandmaster of all their break up strategies. I don鈥檛 know if you鈥檙e ready for this one.
鈥淧lease just say it, you鈥檝e already started the damage anyway. What could be worse?鈥
He sends you a wedding invitation.
鈥淪he has fainted o! Sister wake up, wake up! Bring water o!鈥
If you鈥檝e never experienced any of these, I hope you don鈥檛.
And if you have, please tell us your experiences. Let鈥檚 be ready.
