Being a woman in Nigeria is a full-time expense. I feel like Buhari should give us beauty allowance every month.
As a babe who doesn’t like spending money, I鈥檓 here to help you save money. Here are all the things that鈥檒l drain your money so you can avoid them.
Having hair
Imagine paying 鈧15k for knotless braids and it gets rough two weeks later, or having to dye your hair. Instead of doing all these things to make your hair look nice, just cut it. A low cut is convenient and cheap, and you鈥檒l get to pour water on your head anytime you want.
Being a firstborn
Once you have more than three siblings, just go and register your name with Emefiele. Congratulations, you are now a bank.
My advice is simple, just don鈥檛 come to the world as a female firstborn. If you can鈥檛 do that, be like Esau and trade your birthright.
Having a partner
Relationships are not cheap. On valentine鈥檚 day, you鈥檒l have to buy gifts for your partner. On their birthday, you鈥檒l also surprise them, and honestly, these things are not cheap. So just save your money by staying single.
Not having a partner
Apart from the fact that you might be lonely, you would also have to spend your own money on things like food, hair etc. The only reason my Instagram page isn鈥檛 private is because I want my future partner to find me so they can spend their money on me.
Going on girls trips
Stay in your house and watch Netflix. Have you seen the ticket prices ? Then you鈥檒l still book an Airbnb, buy clothes, do your hair, do your nails blah blah blah. If you decide to stay in your house and watch a movie or FaceTime your friends instead, you鈥檇 save a lot of money.
Having a skincare routine
You want your skin to glow???聽 LMAOOOOO. The price of sunscreen is like 鈧9k. Sometimes, I think of swallowing a glowstick instead of buying one more product.
Sanitary pads
Heavy and medium flow babes suffer the most here. Imagine using five pads a day so you don鈥檛 get stained in public. I want to come down from this REALITAY.
Aso-Ebi
Just because your bestfriend is getting married doesn鈥檛 mean you should spend half of your salary on aso-ebi. Can鈥檛 just wear a lovely gown? This is why I have no friends.
RELATED: How Do You Plan a Lagos Wedding on a Budget?
Being emotionally invested in men
Instead of being emotionally invested in men, find something else to do, like learning how to knit.
Going on brunches
These are so good and worth the money tbh. I鈥檒l go again and again and get tipsy on mimosas with my girls. Amen? [I still have no friends.]
Buying rich aunty clothes
Kaftans and abayas and two pieces, will take all your money. Maybe we should stop trying to look like a rich aunty. What do poor aunties look like? Because that鈥檚 what I鈥檓 channeling now.
RELATED: 10 Signs That Show You Are the Broke Aunty
Living alone
My advice concerning this is that you should stay in your parents house till you get married, that way, you’ll get free food, accommodation, and trust me, you鈥檒l save a lot of money. The only thing it鈥檒l cost you is your mental health.
Buying gadgets
Can we go back in time and start sending letters again? Because I鈥檓 tired of spending money on gadgets. Imagine having to pay almost 鈧500k for a phone because it鈥檚 a 鈥渇ruit鈥, it鈥檚 lilac and you want it to match your aesthetics.
Transportation
There鈥檚 three categories of people: those who have cars and spend money on fuel, those who take Uber/Bolt and have to listen to what the uber driver has to say and those who take the bus or BRT. Either way, you鈥檒l still spend money. The solution is easy: grow wings and fly.
Ordering food
Anytime you鈥檙e hungry and feel like ordering food, just stop yourself. Go to your kitchen and whip up a nice meal instead. If you鈥檙e too lazy to cook, just drink garri.
Wearing clothes that haven鈥檛 been ironed
I don鈥檛 know how you鈥檒l survive because which company is going to employ a woman in rumpled clothes. If nobody employs you, you鈥檇 be jobless, and if you鈥檙e jobless you鈥檇 be broke, very very broke.
Having a pet
Owning a pet is not only expensive but it would also stress you. You can barely feed yourself and you think you would be able to feed a pet?
Celebrating your birthday
Please, just stay in your room and sleep or cry or think about your life. This is why you should have rich friends who can plan a surprise party for you, or better still a sugar daddy who鈥檒l give you all the money you need to plan a party.
Going for concerts
Instead of paying 鈧20k to see Asake, just play his songs on your phone and pretend you鈥檙e at his concert.聽
Paying your tithe
Do with this information what you will.
