My mother and I had not seen each other for three years. Apart from COVID happening, I had school and work. But in June [2022], she had a program in my city and used the opportunity to visit my new apartment. As a Nigerian mum, she had a lot of things to say. Here鈥檚 a list of the ones I wish I had better responses for.
鈥淲ear a bra鈥
No! Just no. Why? Because it hurts my chest and makes me feel extra bloated. Contrary to your opinion, a woman鈥檚 dignity is not in her ability to 鈥減ackage鈥 her breasts well. I鈥檓 simply not interested in anyone who is too fixated on whether or not I鈥檓 wearing a bra. In my world, that鈥檚 a red flag.
Related: 7 Reasons to Consider Dumping Your Bra
鈥淲hy are you not in a relationship?鈥澛
LMAO. This one is hilarious because all those years of close-marking me to make sure I avoided boy are finally proving themselves useful and you are shocked? Come off it, ma.
鈥淒on鈥檛 pierce or tattoo your body again鈥
No be you go tell me wetin I go do. I know you gave birth to me but the body still belongs to me and I can do with it as I see fit. I know you鈥檒l ask what if I regret it, but the answer remains that the body is still mine. If I regret my decisions, I have myself to blame. Don鈥檛 stress.
RELATED: Before You Get a Tattoo, Take Note of These Facts
鈥淒on鈥檛 say men your age are stupid鈥
But they are and I鈥檓 not interested in dating them or any man but the real reason for that is a story for another day.
鈥淲hat do you mean you won鈥檛 get married?鈥
I said what I said and I meant what I said. I鈥檓 not interested in following society鈥檚 script of a virtuous woman. That includes getting married and having kids. These are tedious roles for someone that doesn鈥檛 even want to be alive in the first place.
鈥淒on鈥檛 say you won鈥檛 have kids鈥澛
Please see the point above for one reason I鈥檓 not having kids. For the second reason, kids are too volatile for me. They require patience, love and attention. These are resources I鈥檓 not equipped to provide at any given chance. I鈥檇 rather not have kids than to raise a scarred individual deprived of foundational care, who then goes on to be an emotional menace to all that encounter them. No, thank you. I鈥檓 good.
I wish we were more aligned on our choices but there鈥檚 plenty of stuff we agree on. For example, how good my cooking is or how we both love small pieces of meat. I love you and we don鈥檛 have to always be in agreement for my love to be valid.
If you agreed with my responses to my mother, you鈥檒l like this article on some of the passive-aggressive ways Nigerian mums show care.
