In March, we鈥檙e bringing to you letters written by women to women they love, miss, cherish or just remember. To celebrate the support women continue to show each other, this is #ToHER.
From: The woman that鈥檒l never admit she has a best friend
To: Tega, the best friend turned flatmate
Dear Tega,
I tell anyone who cares to listen, you鈥檙e the best thing that鈥檚 ever happened to me. I鈥檝e never had someone that cares about me as much as you do. You ask me genuine questions about my life and what I鈥檓 going through. It makes me grateful for you.
I cherish the day we met. It鈥檚 been eight years since I walked into my first lecture in uni and found you. I wasn鈥檛 expecting to find much; I was even ready to be the odd girl in class people made fun of for her accent and name, which had happened through school since I moved to Lagos at four years old Village girl, was the name that haunted me until I finished secondary school.
Inside, I wanted to finally have real friends. Friends that didn鈥檛 tease me about things I couldn鈥檛 change about myself. Honestly, I was fine with just one 鈥 a best friend, and I met you.
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I watched you pull out the seat next to me and turn to say a high-pitched hello. You were the epitome of ajebota. The by-force American accent, your fancy boots with the gold chain, and your chubby cute cheeks. Oh! That purple braids you had on was everything. Thirty minutes into sitting beside each other and you had asked me about fifty questions. Where did I live? Did I stay on campus? Why did I pick Urban and Regional Planning? Whenever my answers were vague, you dug deeper. I had never felt so seen, but I was stressed.
You tried to give me a little bit of yourself so I鈥檇 feel comfortable. 鈥淚 live in Abuja and I stay at Honours hall,鈥 you said. Then continued questioning me for most of the day. We talked about how we hated our course and the series of unfortunate events that led us there. We went for lunch together, walked back to my hostel together. Letting you in was so easy.
I鈥檓 writing this letter to you because I can鈥檛 think of anyone I鈥檝e had more genuine moments with. From talking about the dumb boys we met 鈥 thank you for not judging me when I told you about the boy that hurt me. To being there for me even when I went back to him. Tega, thank you for letting me know I was strong enough to leave.
Even when we were done with school, and you moved back to Abuja, distance didn鈥檛 change your endless inquiries about my life. Yes, there were weeks we didn鈥檛 talk, but all we needed was one phone call or voice note. Thank you for pushing past the distance between us. You were miles away, but I never felt alone, Thank you for the days you forced me to get out of bed and chase dreams I thought were impossible. I鈥檓 so proud of everything you鈥檝e fought for. I鈥檓 so proud of how you believe in yourself. Thank you for making me believe in myself too.
I admit when you decided to come back to Lagos, I had mixed feelings. First, I was happy I could easily see you again. The worry came when you asked us to live together. I was worried you鈥檇 see parts of me you couldn鈥檛 accept. The late nights, the partying, the drinking. I thought you鈥檇 hate the person I had become. Well, It鈥檚 been four months, and we鈥檝e had a few drunk nights, so I鈥檇 say there are parts new parts about you I鈥檝e gotten to see and love. Thank you for making our one-bedroom flat feel like a home. Thank you for accepting all the parts of me that changed.
I never imagined sharing a home with you, babe. It was a weird decision for me, but the truth is, I love it. There is no one else I would rather want to live with. Forget all my hard guy; you鈥檙e my girl for life
Ps: I鈥檒l never admit loving you to your face and I鈥檒l deny writing this letter.
Till the wheels fall off,
Sere
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