This article is part of Had I Known, 91大神鈥檚 theme for September 2025, where we explore Nigerian stories of regret and the lessons learnt. Read more Had I Known stories here.
Ebiere*, 40, thought IVF would be her way out of years of childlessness. Instead, it swallowed millions of naira, drained her emotionally, and began chipping away at her marriage. If she could go back, she says she would do so many things differently.
As told to Princess
I鈥檝e been married for over a decade, but I still don鈥檛 have a child. In Nigeria, that鈥檚 almost a curse: the endless questions from relatives, the pitying glances from neighbours, the unsolicited advice from church members. It wears you down.
My husband and I had several late-night conversations about what to do. Adoption was off the table for him. Prayer was constant, but I wanted something more concrete. So when IVF kept coming up in my searches and discussions, I thought maybe this was the answer.
We set a budget of 鈧3.5 million for one cycle. At that point, I told myself it would be a one-time attempt. But anyone who has done IVF knows that once you step into it, it鈥檚 like a tunnel, one cycle leads to another, and the money just keeps going.
The First Cycle: Hope and Shock at the Price
I started my first IVF cycle at a top fertility clinic in Lagos. They broke down the cost into consultation, scans, ovarian stimulation, egg retrieval, embryo transfer, and medications. The package itself costs around 鈧4 million, not including all the 鈥渉idden鈥 extras.
Ovarian stimulation drugs alone cost me between 鈧400k and 鈧800k per round. These are daily injections that force your ovaries to produce multiple eggs. I had to keep them in a fridge, handle them carefully, and jab myself every night.
By the end of the cycle, the bill had crept past 鈧4 million. At that point, I still had faith. I told myself, 鈥淭his will work. It has to.
鈥滻t didn鈥檛. The embryos failed to implant. I cried in the hospital bathroom that day, then came home and cried some more.
The Second Cycle: 鈥淢aybe It鈥檒l Work This Time鈥
Anyone who has gone through IVF will tell you that failure doesn鈥檛 stop you; it almost pushes you into trying again. I was desperate. The doctor told me, 鈥淢ost women need multiple cycles.鈥 That gave me false hope.
So, against my better judgment, I started cycle two. Again, it was 鈧4 million for the main package and close to 鈧700k for the drugs. Add in routine blood tests, scans, and hospital visits, and the bill was climbing fast.
By the second round, I had already spent close to 鈧8 million in total. My family stepped in to support me. My siblings contributed; my parents even dipped into their savings. I will never forget that support, but with it came pressure. Every transfer felt like I was carrying their money, their prayers, their expectations inside me.
This cycle also failed. The devastation was indescribable. I felt like my body had betrayed me twice.
The Third Cycle: Throwing Money at Desperation
At this point, my husband tried to console me. He told me, 鈥淲e can stop, it鈥檚 okay.鈥 But I couldn鈥檛 stop. I felt like stopping would mean accepting defeat, accepting barrenness. So I went in for cycle three.By then, most of the doctors knew me by name. The routine was the same: daily injections, blood tests every other morning, vaginal ultrasounds that felt never-ending. My body became a science project.
Another 鈧4 million gone, another 鈧700k on drugs, another few hundred thousand on transport, nutrition, and 鈥渂oosting鈥 supplements. By my rough calculation, I spent over 鈧12 million in total across three failed cycles.
And the result? Nothing. No pregnancy. Just an empty womb and an emptier bank account.
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The Full Cost Breakdown
IVF in Nigeria is not just the clinic鈥檚 鈥溾偊4 million per cycle鈥 quote. It鈥檚 a stack of creeping costs that pile up month after month. Here鈥檚 how mine broke down:
Cycle Packages (鈧12 million total for 3 cycles):
Each cycle came with its own 鈧4 million fee, covering consultations, egg retrieval, embryo transfer, and hospital monitoring.
Ovarian Stimulation Drugs (鈧1.8 million):
Each round of stimulation cost me between 鈧400k and 鈧800k. Over three cycles, I spent almost 鈧2 million just on injections.
Blood Tests & Scans (鈧600k):
Before each cycle, I did hormonal panels, infection screens, and multiple transvaginal ultrasounds. Each one was 鈧15k鈥撯偊50k. They add up fast.
Supplements & 鈥淏oosters鈥 (鈧450k):
Doctors and pharmacists pushed vitamins, CoQ10, folic acid, and immune boosters. Every month, another 鈧150k disappeared here.
Transport & Accommodation (鈧500k+):
I don鈥檛 live in Lagos, so IVF meant endless trips. Flights, long drives, and occasional hotel stays.
Hidden & Unexpected Expenses (鈧300k+):
Extra prescriptions, antibiotics, pain relief, and even specific diet recommendations. I was told to buy 鈥渇ertility-friendly鈥 foods and teas. Every trip to the pharmacy was another 鈧10k鈥撯偊20k.
Grand Total: Over 鈧16 million:
And that鈥檚 just what I can count. It was probably more. Emotionally, the cost was far greater.
When Support Turns Into Strain
In the beginning, my husband was my biggest cheerleader. He held my hand during injections, prayed over me before transfers, and told me we would get through it together.
But by the third cycle, I noticed a shift. The money was weighing on him. Every time I mentioned another prescription or another test, his face tightened. He never said 鈥渘o,鈥 but his silence said enough.
After the third failure, he stopped accompanying me to the clinic. He told me he needed a break. At home, he would change the subject whenever I brought up IVF. The encouragement turned into avoidance. The emotional distance between us grew.
We still love each other, but IVF has created cracks. He says, 鈥淕od鈥檚 time is best,鈥 but I can feel his frustration. Sometimes I fear he regrets marrying me. That fear keeps me up at night.
Regret and Reflection
After the third cycle failed, I broke. I told my husband I felt useless, like I had failed as a woman. I stopped picking up calls from family who had supported me. Their silence was even worse than their questions.
Looking back, nothing was worth it. Not the millions, not the injections, not the endless hospital visits. IVF didn鈥檛 give me a child; it gave me trauma.
If I could go back, I would do things differently. In my younger years, I had multiple abortions. I believe that鈥檚 part of why I鈥檓 struggling now, but I鈥檝e never told my husband. He only sees the woman beside him now, trying and failing. He still encourages me and says, 鈥淕od will do it.鈥 But I carry my guilt silently.
Had I known, I would have saved myself the pain, the money, and the regret. I would have made different choices in my youth. I would have considered adoption earlier.
Instead, I let desperation and societal pressure push me into spending 鈧12 million chasing a dream that never came true. Now, all I can do is hold on to hope and remind myself that my worth isn鈥檛 tied to my womb.聽
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