Every week, 91大神 spotlights the unfiltered stories of women navigating life, love, identity and everything in between.聽
What She Said will give women the mic to speak freely, honestly and openly, without shame about sex, politics, family, survival, and everything else life throws our way.
September is PCOS Awareness Month, and in honour of that, this week鈥檚 WSS features a woman in her early thirties sharing how she鈥檚 learned to live with PCOS(Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). From the changes in her body to the shifts in her emotions, she opens up about why she now calls it a gift.
When did you find out you had PCOS?
It was in my mid-twenties. Before then, I just thought my body was somehow different. My periods were irregular, sometimes disappearing for months, but I didn鈥檛 pay too much attention. I just assumed that鈥檚 how my body worked. It was only after I went for a check-up when I was around 26 that a doctor mentioned PCOS.
At first, it sounded like one of those heavy medical conditions that would turn your life upside down. I remember wondering how I never knew until then and feeling scared, because all I was hearing were the negative sides鈥攊nfertility, weight gain, hormonal problems. But as time went on, and I started learning how it actually showed up in my own life, the fear began to fade.
How has it affected your periods?
Honestly, I don鈥檛 see it as a bad thing. I can miss my period back-to-back for months, and I鈥檓 not complaining. When it finally comes, most times it鈥檚 just light spotting. No cramps, no blood rushing like a river. I don鈥檛 get those heavy, draining cycles that keep some people stuck in bed for days. I actually love that about my body.
Do you ever have heavy bleeding?
Yes, once in a while. Maybe once every five to six months, I鈥檒l have a really heavy period where I need to double my pads. I can also be in so much pain that it is physically impossible to move. It鈥檚 messy and uncomfortable, but because it happens so rarely, it doesn鈥檛 overwhelm me. I鈥檝e figured out how to manage those moments, so they don鈥檛 run my life.
How does all of that shape how you feel about your body?
It makes me grateful, honestly. Another thing is I鈥檓 queer, and I don鈥檛 sleep with men, so pregnancy scares are not part of my reality. That alone gives me a kind of freedom. For me, missing my period or spotting here and there is just another reminder that my body works differently, and I鈥檝e made peace with that.
What about the other symptoms鈥攖hings outside your cycle?
The hair growth is the most obvious one. It can be annoying, especially on days when I just want smooth skin. But over time, I鈥檝e learned to stop fighting it. Some women shave or wax constantly, and that鈥檚 fine, but I don鈥檛 want to be at war with my body all the time. Now, I just keep it moving.
The darkening of my skin in some areas is another thing. Like under my arms, around my neck and my inner thighs. It鈥檚 not my favourite, and if I could change it, I would. Still, I鈥檝e learned not to let it take over how I see myself. But realistically, I have better days and sometimes, days when my self-esteem is in the gutter.
And then there鈥檚 the weight. With PCOS, if I鈥檓 not careful, I gain weight very quickly. At first, I used to stress about it, but now I鈥檝e turned it into motivation. I鈥檓 a gym baddie. I鈥檓 always working out. For me, fitness isn鈥檛 just about keeping my weight in check but about feeling strong, staying disciplined, and having something in my routine that grounds me.
Would you say you鈥檝e come to accept those changes fully?
Not fully, no. I won鈥檛 lie, I don鈥檛 love the dark patches or the hairiness. Instead of always fighting them, I try to see them as part of me. I鈥檝e learned to focus more on the things I can control, like staying active, eating well, and being consistent with my skincare, than stress endlessly about what I can鈥檛 change.
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How does PCOS affect you emotionally?
That鈥檚 probably the hardest part. The mood swings, the sudden low days, and sometimes even anxiety. It gets overwhelming. It鈥檚 easy to look fine on the outside while your mind is spinning inside. For me, managing the physical symptoms is easier than handling the emotional ones.
What helps is noticing the signs early. When I鈥檓 getting unusually irritable or feel my energy dipping, I give myself space. I don鈥檛 force productivity; I just rest. I use an app, 鈥淗ow We Feel,鈥 that has also helped me put language into my feelings. It doesn鈥檛 make it vanish, but it makes me feel less powerless.
What about your skin? Do you get acne too?
Yes, I do. PCOS acne can be really stubborn. What works for me is keeping my skincare routine simple. I wash my face gently twice daily. Nothing too harsh or drying. I use products with salicylic acid, which has really made a difference, and I completely avoid scrubbing or popping pimples. That only makes it worse.
It took a lot of trial and error to figure this out. I tried so many products at once, and my skin would get angrier. Now I know that patience is the only way. It鈥檚 not perfect, but my skin is much more manageable.
Outside your face, how do you care for your body?
I love using body powder. It keeps me dry and fresh, especially in this heat. One I really like is . It鈥檚 affordable, has a light scent, and doesn鈥檛 irritate my skin. It鈥檚 not a big luxury item, but those small things make me feel good in my body and keep me confident day-to-day.
Fertility is often a big concern for women with PCOS. What do you think about it?
I haven鈥檛 really tried to have kids, and I鈥檓 not even sure I want them. So infertility hasn鈥檛 been part of my story. But I always stress this: just because I don鈥檛 struggle with it doesn鈥檛 mean it isn鈥檛 real. For many women, PCOS and infertility are a huge, painful challenge. It should never be dismissed or ignored because some of us have different experiences.
I think one of the mistakes people make is talking about PCOS like it鈥檚 the same for everyone. It鈥檚 not. My story is valid, but so is the woman who desperately wants children and finds herself battling with her body every month. Both experiences deserve space.
At this point in your life, what does PCOS mean to you?
I see it as a gift. Of course, it comes with challenges, but I鈥檝e found a way to live with them. I enjoy the freedom of missing my period for months. I love that I don鈥檛 have to worry about pregnancy scares, and even my commitment to fitness came out of it.
PCOS has shaped me in ways I didn鈥檛 expect. It鈥檚 taught me patience with my skin, discipline with my body, and grace for my emotions. It鈥檚 forced me to accept the parts of myself that I can鈥檛 control and work harder on the parts I can.
For me, it鈥檚 not just a condition to be 鈥渕anaged.鈥 It鈥檚 part of who I am, and I choose to see it as something that adds to my life, not something that takes away from it.
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