One of the many reasons I hated doing my hair growing up was that I had to go to the local hairdresser鈥檚 shop down the road. Why was this a problem? Because I had to go through the things I鈥檝e listed below. I鈥檓 sure the people who also went to these types of salons will be able to relate.
Sitting on a very small hard stool
I don鈥檛 know why they always made kids sit on those tiny wooden stools while the adults got to sit on proper chairs. Those stools were so hard that by the time you got up, your bum and back would ache like you鈥檇 been lifting weights.
Putting your head between their thighs听
If this didn鈥檛 happen to you at least once as a kid, then you didn鈥檛 go to a local hairdresser. They鈥檇 shove your head between their thighs, forcing you to breathe in the smell of their old, musty wrappers. As I鈥檓 writing this, I’m traumatised all over again.
Using the three-tooth wooden comb to part your hair
Without even looking at the picture, I鈥檓 sure you already knew the comb I鈥檓 referring to. That comb was so sharp, it could double as a weapon. The worst part is that the hairdressers were never careful with how they used it. It鈥檚 as if they purposely wanted to rip open your scalp. Also, why did they always start parting the hair from the beginning of your nose? It felt like some sort of initiation.
听
RELATED: Is It Time to Break Up With Your Nigerian Hairdresser?
Damatol burning your scalp
The parting wasn鈥檛 complete until they used Damatol medicated hair cream to seal it. I hated that cream so much because it always made my scalp burn. There鈥檚 no way that that cream was good for the hair.听
Gist being given above your head
Mama Bola or Iya Saheed always had one gist about somebody in their neighbourhood or their group of friends. Unfortunately, they always had to give the gist while doing a person鈥檚 hair and being loud as hell. Sometimes, they would pause to properly give the gist, leaving you sitting there with a head of half-done hair. As someone who wanted to get my hair done as fast as possible, I cried every time this happened to me.
The hairdresser trying to control their annoying kids听
Every hairdresser had at least one annoying child running around and scattering the whole place. Every five minutes, you鈥檇 hear, “Abbas, will you stop that?!” Or, “Abbas, don鈥檛 let me come there and slap you!” Then at some point, Iya Abbas would have to leave your hair to go and beat, feed, or carry the child on her back.听
No light
I don鈥檛 know whether hairdressers had beef with NEPA, but they hardly ever had light. The struggle was real. Imagine being in a small space with many other people, your head in between a person鈥檚 thighs, hot cream on your head and forehead, and no light. It鈥檚 God that saved us from dying of heat.
They鈥檒l comb your hair like they鈥檙e upset听
It鈥檚 clear that these hairdressers had something against children. Why else did they comb our hair so aggressively? Then there鈥檚 the way they used to push our heads around as if they were playing basketball. Honestly, these new kids will never know the ghetto struggles we faced, and I鈥檓 jealous.
They鈥檒l pick your brain and edges听
It鈥檚 only recently that they started leaving edges while weaving hair. Back then, local hairdressers would pick the last strand of hair at the beginning of your head. Not a single “baby hair” was left outside. That鈥檚 the only way that they felt like they did a good job. If they could, they鈥檇 pick your eyebrows too.
You鈥檒l love this story, trust me: The Secret Life Of a Nigerian Hairdresser*
