Some people monitor their calendars ahead of Christmas, while others just go about it like it’s just another day, even though they can鈥檛 completely ignore it. Here are some signs that signal the arrival of the sparkly lights and excess jollof rice season.
- Mariah Carey and Boney M rise up like Lazarus
These two artists force their way into our lives every Christmas. For millennials and Gen Zs, it’s Mariah Carey鈥檚 All I Want For Christmas, but for your parents and grandparents, be sure to hear a lot of Boney M starting next week.
2. Eko Hotel roundabout starts to look like a Christmas lights battlefield
For Lagosians, nothing signals the arrival of Christmas like driving past Eko Hotel and seeing that they鈥檝e turned the roundabout into Father Christmas鈥 guest house. The moment you see this, you know it鈥檚 time to start buying and hoarding chickens before they start adding 鈧100 to everything.
3. Everything becomes expensive AF!
Someone needs to explain the logic behind this. Every year, once sellers start to smell December, they go on their WhatsApp group and decide to increase their prices. They just feel like it鈥檚 time to show us pepper. If you like, walk away, no one will call you back to give you another 鈥渓ast price鈥.
4. Everyone and their daddy is having a concert
We know this all too well. Tickets are already on sale. Nothing heralds Christmas more than musical concerts. The tickets usually say 7 p.m., but real ones know that the main artist will probably be turning semo by that time, so it鈥檚 best to go at midnight when witches are having their own conference.
5. Christmas carols services and fundraising everywhere
As if they are competing with the 鈥渨orldly鈥 crowd, you can count on churches to increase the number of harvests and bazaars they have on their roster. Christmas Carols will also happen nonstop from Monday to Saturday. Anytime you blink, you鈥檒l probably see three kings offering gold, frankincense and crypto coins.
6. Red and green everywhere!
From those sparkly lights that look like thorns to some of your co-workers’ outfits, be prepared to see a lot of red and green. By mid-December, we doubt you鈥檒l remember any other primary color.
7. No more sequins in the market
Christmas brings with it a strong Nigerian urge to look like a mirror ball. It鈥檚 like everyone wants to shine just in case there鈥檚 a power outage. Buy your sequins now before it鈥檚 too late. Don鈥檛 say we didn鈥檛 warn you.
8. IJGBs are littered around like red sand in Benin
Get ready for a lot of 鈥渋nnits鈥 and 鈥渂ack in the states鈥, as Christmas is the only time our brothers and sisters in the diaspora decide to visit and flex on us (it鈥檚 not easy living in a country that actually works!). After months of trying their hands at Nigerian dance moves and making 鈥淢y African parent鈥 videos for TikTok, they finally come back for premium rocks and fornication. Want to blend in? Start practising your British-Amerigbor accent now.
9. You start spending money you don鈥檛 have
The Christmas season is when your mouth will convince you that your taste palette has changed, and it’s time to start eating like crazy because it鈥檚 detty december. We鈥檒l advise you to think again. The trumpet won鈥檛 blow in December, and don鈥檛 forget rent is due at the end of January. A word is enough for the wise.
10. Flight tickets become more expensive than drugs
Similar to market prices, you can bet that the price of your average flight will double. If you still haven鈥檛 bought your ticket by now, omo, to Jesus be your glory o!
