After I posted this about the signs that your friend has japa, I got a lot of funny responses. But when I saw a comment from Simi* saying she was that friend a few days ago, I knew I needed to get her gist. I shamelessly slid into her DM, and she was more than willing to share.听
As Told to Memi
My parents live in England, and I always wanted to visit them for the holidays. The ASUU strike fast-tracked the whole process, and I ended up going to school there instead. I was supposed to be in my second year at the University of Benin, studying Foreign Language and Linguistics, but last Friday, I moved to the UK to study Media and Journalism.
When my dad moved to England for work in 2021, my mum went with him, leaving my younger brothers and me back in Lagos. They sent us a lot of money, so we never lacked anything. But we had to become very mature pretty early. Even though I just turned 18 in August [2021], you鈥檇 never have guessed because of how mature I am.
I assumed the role of mother to my brothers. I taught my 15-year-old brother how to cook, do the dishes, wash bathrooms, everything. We鈥檇 even go to the market together.
But when I started my japa process in March, I couldn鈥檛 tell them. Not because I didn鈥檛 want to, but my parents were strictly against me sharing the news with anyone. My mum was always talking about the spiritual side of everything.
It was really hard for me during that period because I couldn鈥檛 talk about how I was feeling, and whenever anyone was around me, my siblings included, I couldn鈥檛 call my parents. We would have to text. The entire chat had to be cleared after each conversation. If I mistakenly mentioned something to anyone and my mum heard about it, she鈥檇 scold me so much 鈥 it was exhausting.
It wasn鈥檛 until I got my visa that I finally told my brothers. My immediate younger brother is really smart, so he wasn鈥檛 surprised. In fact, he said he already knew but was just waiting for me to tell him. He wasn鈥檛 upset 鈥榗ause we鈥檙e guys, and he knows how our parents can be.
I travelled two days after I got my visa. I didn鈥檛 have time for any major preparations because my parents wanted me there immediately. My brothers followed me to the airport where we said our goodbyes, and I gave them the last money I had.
My friends didn鈥檛 know till I posted a random video of myself dancing at the airport. And since many friends had already relocated to Canada and the US because of the ASUU strike, they weren鈥檛 really shocked. I haven鈥檛 been able to talk to any of them yet, but I promised to call this weekend.
I honestly don鈥檛 feel sad about leaving 鈥榗ause I have just two 鈥渇riends鈥 in Nigeria now. My parents were also very against relationships while they were around. I鈥檇 had my first boyfriend when I was like 12 鈥榗ause puberty hit me early, but my parents beat all the boyfriend stuff out of me. Now, dating was the last thing on my mind. However, I really miss my brothers. But they always sound so happy whenever I talk to them, so I immediately feel at ease.
My immediate brother recently finished high school and now attends a private university in Nigeria. My parents might鈥檝e made plans for him to come with me if he wasn鈥檛 too young to start university here. You need to be at least 18, and he鈥檚 15. My last brother, who鈥檚 ten years old, has now moved in with a family friend.
Right now, I鈥檓 looking forward to December because my brothers will come over for the holidays, and we can finally all be together again.
*Subject’s name has been changed to protect her identity.
YOUR NEXT READ: What Happens When Your Loved One Japas?听
