In these stressful times, you need to do whatever it takes to find cash. Even if that means seducing a POS agent. Follow these steps to date one and have your cash problems solved today.
Break up with your current partner
Does your current partner have cash? If they don鈥檛, what are you people doing together? Break up with them and look for someone who can add value to your life.
Spend all your cash
You can鈥檛 take this seriously if you鈥檙e not truly motivated. Spend that last 鈧500 in your hand so you know you have no choice but to find cash somewhere else.
Find a POS attendant with plenty cash
Don鈥檛 waste your time on a POS attendant who doesn鈥檛 have cash. You must stay focused on the goal at all times. What鈥檚 the use of a POS attendant who doesn鈥檛 have plenty cash?
Cook food for them
The way to any human being鈥檚 heart is through their stomach 鈥 even though it鈥檚 their pocket you鈥檙e trying to get to. Even spirits at the T-junction accept food as payment for good fortune.
Or get them fuel
Even if they have cash, fuel scarcity is still stressing them out. Bringing them fuel is the most romantic thing you can do for a POS attendant in a time like this.
Call them sweet names
There鈥檚 no need to ask anybody out. There are more pressing matters at hand. Just start calling them 鈥渂aby鈥 every day and showing up at their place with food or fuel. Boom, you鈥檙e in a relationship.
Start dropping hints
Send them random photos of new naira notes captioned 鈥淭hinking about you鈥. You can also ask them silly questions like, 鈥淚f you were a naira note, which one would you be?鈥 Anything to hint that you didn鈥檛 come here to play; you鈥檙e here for business.
If nothing works, carry gun
If they鈥檙e forming ignorance, negotiate with them at gunpoint so they know this is a purely transactional relationship and they can鈥檛 be hiding cash. Desperate times require desperate measures.
NEXT READ: What Happens When You Can鈥檛 Withdraw Cash for Two Weeks Straight?
