Since we all know most Nigerian mothers are in love with love their sons, here are some things you should note before you meet your future mother-in-law for the first time.
Start crawling from the gate to greet her
Imagine trying to greet your future mother-in-law with a hug and a smile? As you enter the gate, take off your shoes and start crawling and you sing her praises. 鈥淥h Lord and personal mistress, I have come o!鈥
No make up or artificial nails. If possible, come naked
Well, since this is your chance to prove that you鈥檒l be a good wife, might as well come naked. Since we鈥檝e turned a visit to inspection. Let them know what they鈥檙e really getting into.
Pound yam and fetch firewood
Because the people that invented gas and pounding machines are FOOLS! You鈥檙e an industrious woman that can make sure her boyfriend is well taken care of in true traditional fashion irrespective of the circumstances.听
When you finish cooking, kneel down and serve your boyfriend
A humble girlfriend is a good girlfriend. Your master boyfriend needs to eat, and as a subservient girlfriend, you have to serve your king while on your knees. If he goes to the kitchen to dish his food himself, you鈥檝e lost the plot.
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If you鈥檙e taller than your boyfriend鈥檚 mother, reduce your height听
If not they鈥檇 think you鈥檙e proud. How can you as a woman be taller than your future mother-in-law? Does that not mean you think you鈥檙e above her? Your better shrink your height.
Fetch water in the house before you leave
So what if they have running water? Find empty basins and fetch some water. You can even ask your mother-in-law to join you. You can鈥檛 spell bondage without bond, innit?
Wash all the clothes in the house
Dirty or clean, just wash them. Prove yourself.
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If there鈥檚 meat in your food, return it听
You鈥檙e eating meat at your boyfriend鈥檚 mother鈥檚 house? Is this playing? Who the fuck do you think you are? Better return the meat. How else will they know you鈥檙e humble and from a good home?
Sing the national anthem
Nobody wants a daughter-in-law that isn鈥檛 patriotic. If you really want to burst her head? Sing the second stanza too. Omo mehn.
Mop their compound
At this point, you鈥檙e thinking outside the box. An innovative queen.
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