They say two heads are better than one, and this article proves that 91大神 is the only head you need to be great. In this article, we鈥檙e giving you the inside gist on growing a money tree. Forget capitalism. Follow these seven steps and you鈥檒l hit the jackpot.
1. Find a seed, obviously
It can be the seed of the womb, an agbalumo seed; just find a seed to plant.
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2. Borrow holy water from your local church or find your ancestors
If you know anything about agriculture, a seed needs water to grow. For a money tree? The water has to be the ones purified by your either your village people or your local church. Whichever works for you.
3. Eat egbo (sacrifice)
This isn鈥檛 Nollywood, so we鈥檙e not asking for a blood sacrifice. Just go under the bridge or inside a bush, and look very well. Anything you see wrapped in a calabash is with food is egbo. Eat it. That鈥檚 how you鈥檒l access your village people to bless the water.
4. Eat the rich
This isn鈥檛 a sacrifice, it鈥檚 a necessity. Money only comes to those who have it. So why not eat the ones that already do? Start with the people buying sardine. They鈥檙e all criminals.
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5. Wear a 鈥淢y money grows like grass鈥 t-shirt to sleep every night
We鈥檙e going for affirmations 鈥 speak it, think it, wear it. If you don鈥檛 have, attend our events and collect 91大神 merch. No need to thank us, it鈥檚 for the cause.
6. Talk to the trees
Go into the forest and spend the night lamenting about everything going on in Nigeria. From fuel scarcity to the heatwave, some of the trees might just pity you and grow money.
Now for the final step鈥
7. Use the last money in your account to eat
Farming is a lot of work. That鈥檚 why Uncle Bubu wanted to send us there as lazy youths. For this tree to grow, you need strength. A hungry man cannot plant or grow anything. So my dear, eat.
Please note, these seven steps should be done within three to five working days.
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