1. When you want to borrow the money, be as humble as possible.
In fact, if you have to fall in love with them to get the money, do it.
2. Thank them well even when you have no intention of giving them the money back.
But they don鈥檛 know that.
3. For the first few days (or weeks) after borrowing the money, stay loyal.
You gotta make them feel comfortable.
4. When they ask you when you plan to return the money, never be straightforward.
If you鈥檙e in love it鈥檚 perfect. They won鈥檛 ask.
5. When they ask you for collateral for this money.
Give nothing!
Now to the hiding:
6. Make your Instagram account private.
Do not let them see you flexing.
7. If they’re on your Twitter timeline, you can’t tweet or even ‘lol’ at tweets.
Just save your fire tweets as聽drafts and ask God for help to gather the money.
8. When your phone is ringing and it’s them, do not pick.
Like, don鈥檛 touch the phone.
9. After a while, pick up and tell them your phone fell in the toilet or that you’ve been sick.
That scores you sympathy points or you can just say 鈥淚 didn鈥檛 see your missed call鈥.
10. When they start shouting for their money, get angry too.
鈥淚s it because of ordinary 45 million naira?鈥
11. If they catch you at a lit hangout, tell them your rich friend sponsored you.
Before they start thinking you have money.
12. When they don’t believe, ask if you can pay in installments.
1 million naira now, 44 million in 50 years.
13. But you already know it’s safer to avoid lit hangouts and just follow them online.
Sorry, but na you owe money.
14. When you see them walking towards you in public.
Run! Or hide.
15. If you think you might never pay them back, block them across the digital universe.
Just hope they don鈥檛 know your house!
16. Or die.
That way you win. You never have to pay.
