Sex is a topic that even in this day and age isn鈥檛 so openly discussed in Nigeria; and rape even much less than that.
In an writer and broadcaster talks about her experience at Lagos鈥 only support center, the at Lagos University Teaching Hospital. It鈥檚 the only one in a city of about 18聽million people and in an ironic twist, it is miniscule, which basically describes how seriously we take rape issues.
As much girls and women that bravely come forward to report their perpetrator, a lot more choose to keep silent.
Has it ever made you wonder why? Victims don鈥檛 report their rape, and it鈥檚 for different and personal reason.
Social stigma
We are in a society that often times blames the victims. Responsibilities are placed on women to not get raped, instead of on men –not to rape. In a society where virginity is revered, girls and women who are victims of rape are often times seen as damaged goods.
Self blame
Survivors often don鈥檛 open up because they think they did something wrong or didn鈥檛 do something right. Quite simply, they blame themselves. They assume there is something they could have done to stop the abuser. They regret what they did or what they did not do.
Disbelief
Some girls that do get the courage to talk are either told they are lying or shunned into keeping quiet about it.
Fear
In the mind of the survivor, there is much to fear. They are afraid of what will happen when they tell, if they鈥檒l be believed, if they鈥檒l I be supported.
Protection
Some survivors do not tell to protect themselves and their families; it’s especially true with children. Perpetrators often tell them that if they talked, they would kill their loved ones.
Corrupt legal system
The Nigerian legal system is time consuming at best and corrupt at worst. Money will most times exchange hands, and those with power often emerge unscathed.
Life goes on
As Wana said, 鈥For many survivors, the slow judicial process adds to the trauma – they want to be able to move on with their lives rather than having to relive what happened to them over and over again.鈥
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Wana wrote about the 5 brave girls that chose to speak about their ordeal. But they still face problems. One of the girls, Halima, was raped by her landlord鈥檚 son. Her father, in a bid to keep their accommodation, chose to let the perpetrator go unpunished.
Nike pressed charges, but the police officers gave her home address to the parents of the man who raped her and they are trying to settle the case out of court.
Mary was raped by a choirmaster from her church, her family was excommunicated when she chose not to keep silent.
What can be done?
The Mirabel Center is funded by DFID, the UK’s Department for International Development. Funding ends this year and so far the future of the center鈥檚 existence doesn鈥檛 look so bright. Most companies don鈥檛 want to be associated with such cause.
As they saying goes, charity begins at home. We don鈥檛 have to wait for them to do something, when we as individuals of privilege can do something about it.
Send your donations聽to:
Partnership for Justice,
0001462896
Standard Chartered Bank
Ikeja, Lagos
Or
Visit GoFundMe here:聽
Let’s save Mirabel.
Featured image: DivaDocSpeaks.
