If you find yourself in any of these seven categories, just know that you鈥檙e one step away from doing bambiala on the streets with a bucket.
1. You鈥檙e always outside
This is a safe space, so be honest. Are you really outside for premium enjoyment or did your landlord send you packing?
2. You鈥檙e not paying tithe
Don鈥檛 allow Mummy G.O catch you. Better pack the money to her church on Sunday so it can increase. By now, if you check the list of people already going to hell, you鈥檙e already there. But at least try and make sure you鈥檙e not going to suffer here too before you enter hell fire.
3. You鈥檝e not done your 2021 appraisals yet
If you鈥檙e a slave to capitalism, are you sure you鈥檙e safe this year? If things go south, do you have any savings or will you be spending 2022 under a bridge?
4. You鈥檙e dating an Abuja big boy/girl
You鈥檙e just one phone call away from lending them the money to lock down a hooge deal. Just make sure they鈥檙e not living in a borrowed car first because nobody will put money in your Gofundme.
5. Your read receipts are off
If you can鈥檛 use your full chest to turn on your blue ticks, then you鈥檙e probably owing money you can鈥檛 return without suffering.
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6. You dine in Lagos restaurants
If you鈥檙e out on the streets of Lagos enjoying spaghetti bolognese and creamy pasta every week, you鈥檙e only one step away from packing your bags to the village.
7. You can only imagine enjoyment
In December you were shouting, 鈥滵on鈥檛 worry about my destiny,鈥 now, you can only afford memories of enjoyment. It is well.
