You鈥檙e Nigerian. Cheating is in your blood. You might try to fight it but eventually, your true nature will prevail.
To make it easier for you, we are offering you this nice guide to help you manage your diverse portfolio of partners. Shh. Don鈥檛 let your partner know.
1. Call all of them 鈥淏abe, Honey鈥
That way, you won鈥檛 accidentally call them each other鈥檚 names.
2. Save your side鈥檚 number with 鈥淜unle Rewire.鈥
But don’t come and meet us when she asks you why Kunle Rewire is telling you he enjoyed all your special moves last night.
3. Don鈥檛 use Face ID
They can open your phone when you鈥檙e sleeping
4. Use a strong passcode
Naturally, your passwords should be something along the lines of 鈥淲苍产闭摆鲍贬尘886碍碍辩**491镑2濒辞惫别尘测产补产测鈥. Nothing less than this.
5. Use a unisex perfume
So that when you come back smelling like men鈥檚 cologne or women鈥檚 perfume, they won鈥檛 suspect anything.
6. Give them timetable
Be careful to spread them across different times. Memorise the schedule so you鈥檙e not caught slipping.
7. Go to bed “early”
When you’ve been busy climbing your side pieces and haven’t replied your main’s text in a while, leave it till the next morning and tell them you slept off. Doesn’t matter that you slept off by 5 pm. Just tell them.
