If you鈥檙e planning a surprise proposal 鈥 like everyone else in the world, apparently 鈥 we wrote this for you.
Oh, so you鈥檝e decided to propose
In this economy? Where are you people seeing this money? Were we not singing 鈥淎dulthood na scam鈥 together a few days ago? Now, everywhere you turn, it鈥檚 pictures of Ikoyi registry.
And it鈥檚 even a cheesy surprise proposal
I thought we were all laughing at Instagram surprise proposals together.
All your hard guy in the mud, it seems
Next thing now, you鈥檒l say you want to be loyal. What kind of rubbish is this?
This is your last chance to know that na mumu dey love
Come back to the streets. We miss you.
If you still want to proceed, consider hiding the ring in their food
Trust me, I鈥檓 a pro. I have an entire article about places you should hide your proposal ring. Spice things up, come on.
And don鈥檛 tell any of these people
If you decide to tell these people and your plan fails, that鈥檚 on you.
Your partner鈥檚 younger sibling
As a general rule, never trust your younger sibling with any information 鈥 proposals, hiding a body, telling them where daddy kept his will.
Your friend who鈥檚 a drunk
One can of Bullet, and this one will spill all the tea. Your partner will be waiting for you at the proposal venue with their own camera crew.
Your partner鈥檚 mother
No mother wants their child to be unprepared for such a big day. They鈥檒l sit them down and tell them everything that鈥檒l happen in intricate detail.
Don鈥檛 bother telling their beautician
Nobody:
The beautician, while painting their nails: Are you sure this colour will match the ring鈥檚 stone?
Or anyone around you below the age of 15
Children can never shut the fuck up.
Your side piece
Proposals are meant to be peaceful, please. You don鈥檛 want anyone to show up and pour hot water on your fianc茅鈥檚 face.
Your mother
She鈥檚 a witch, and she鈥檚 bad vibes.聽
Also Read: 8 Married Nigerians Share the Biggest Regrets From Their Wedding
