If you鈥檝e ever thought for a second what your mum taking edibles would look like, this perfectly describes it.
1:35 p.m.
It鈥檚 Sunday. Mumsi is home alone. She didn鈥檛 go to church today because she鈥檚 feeling tired after yesterday鈥檚 owambe. She cannot come and kill herself. When will her own daughter get married? She opens the freezer to look for what to eat and sees a cake. “Ahn ahn, Elizabeth had cake in this house, and she didn’t tell me? Na wa o. When she comes back, she won’t see it here.”
The cake has three slices. She puts two on a small plate and goes to sit in front of the TV. “Let’s see what is showing on Africa Magic.”
2:03 p.m.
She’s laughing uncontrollably. Ah, this Odunlade is funny o. See how he鈥檚 just making me laugh.
2:10 p.m.
She’s still giggling. This time, she’s on the floor. Something’s not right. This is the fourth time she鈥檚 watching this movie na. Didn鈥檛 she see this scene before? This isn鈥檛 even Odunlade鈥檚 funniest movie. 鈥淥molara, you鈥檙e 54; please control yourself. Ahn ahn.鈥
Maybe she just needs to sleep. She checks and sees that there are only 30 minutes left in the movie. She鈥檒l sleep after.
40 minutes later鈥
These Africa Magic people have started doing nonsense with the timing of these movies. Why hasn鈥檛 this movie ended? She checks the time again鈥 only five minutes have passed.
2:15 p.m.
Ehn?
Now, it feels like the floor is moving. Time seems to be going鈥 but also not going. 鈥淥molara, what is happening?鈥
2:35 p.m.
She鈥檚 speaking in tongues now. 鈥淓very spiritual attack on my family, die by fire! Every evil arrow of insanity targeted at me, back to sender!鈥 Everything still feels funny and loopy, but she doesn鈥檛 care. She鈥檚 battling it out in the place of prayer.
After praying for what seems like an eternity, she realises only five minutes have passed again.
She cannot handle this battle alone. Reverend has to step in.
She calls her husband, 鈥淒addy Eliza, be coming home now now! Bring pastor with you. We are under spiritual attack! Be fast, be fast!鈥 She鈥檚 too paranoid to explain, but they need to get to the house as soon as they can.
3:06 p.m.
She鈥檚 been lying in one position since the call, waiting for pastor and Daddy Eliza to get home, when she suddenly remembers Elizabeth. What if the devil is attacking her too?
鈥淗ello, Elizabeth! Start coming home now now!
Which stupid photoshoot? I said our family is under attack, you鈥檙e talking about photoshoot. Ma stress mi, omo yi. Take a bike and find your way to this house, please.鈥
Elizabeth鈥檚 POV
3:06 p.m.
She鈥檚 rushing out of her photoshoot. The photographer is confused. 鈥淚鈥檓 so so so sorry. I have to go. Urgent family issues. I鈥檒l text you.鈥
4:33 p.m.
She鈥檚 finally at the house gate. Traffic was bad; daddy hasn鈥檛 picked any of his calls. She鈥檚 super scared. As she enters the compound, she sees an extra car. Reverend鈥檚 Sienna. What鈥檚 happening?
She enters the house and hears shouts from the living room.
Her mum is on the floor, rolling and speaking in tongues. She鈥檚 never seen her dad cry before, but he鈥檚 kneeling beside her, wailing. Pastor is praying over them both. As he sees her, he points to her.
鈥淢y daughter, come and join them. Your family is under attack! Your mother doesn鈥檛 know what is wrong with her. Kneel down, kneel down!鈥
Confused, she kneels. She鈥檚 saying amen. But something catches her eyes. There鈥檚 a white plate on the table with chocolate smudges.
鈥淧astor, please I want to use the bathroom.鈥
She goes to the freezer to check on her edibles. There鈥檚 just one slice left. She doesn鈥檛 know whether to laugh, cry, tell them the truth or go back to join the prayers.聽Has she not chopped generational curses like this?
8:30 p.m.
Mumsi is finally asleep. She started feeling better by like 6 p.m. but things were still looking like they were moving. For her red eyes, she鈥檚 set an appointment with the optician for Monday morning. Pastor is sleeping in the guest room just in case the attack starts again.
The devil almost won, but for now, glory be to God.
