It鈥檚 November again and everyone is going around shouting 鈥淣O NUT NOVEMBER.鈥 If you think No Nut November means you don鈥檛 get to eat peanuts, groundnuts and walnuts in some sort of weird health awareness thing, you鈥檇 be dead wrong. No Nut November is an annual event where men are encouraged not to ejaculate throughout the month. That means no sex, no masturbation, nothing.
Who in their right minds would do that, right? Well, A lot of people have been buzzing about No Nut November and bragging about how long they鈥檇 last. Sorry to pop your bubble, but I鈥檓 here to give you seven reasons why you鈥檙e not going to last through No Nut November.
1. Twitter is a porn hotbed
It鈥檚 a warm afternoon in two days into your No Nut November and you鈥檙e just trying to relax and scroll through Twitter for entertainment. Next, thing there鈥檚 breast popping out of your screen and in your face. O wrong nau.
2. Nigeria is stressful
It鈥檚 4 days into No Nut November and you鈥檙e getting used to it. But you鈥檝e entered traffic sent from hellfire after a bad day at work and you get home and find there鈥檚 no light. And you can鈥檛 even nut to relieve the stress.
3. Your crush sends fiery jpegs
It鈥檚 a cool November evening and you鈥檙e eight days in. Having a casual chat with your crush and they send jpegs that send blood rushing to your second head. You鈥檙e praying to God to grant you the forititude but it鈥檚 like God isn鈥檛 listening to you right now. Problem.
4. Your partner comes over
It鈥檚 Day 10 and things are looking really iffy. You鈥檙e randomly breaking out in sweats and having heat flush. Your spirit is willing聽 but your body is refusing. You鈥檙e at war within yourself. Next thing, your partner is saying they want to come over. Ha.
5. You drink wine
It鈥檚 day 12 and things are looking ruff. You鈥檙e on edge and everything is stressing you. You open a bottle of wine to let out some steam. After the third sip, you suddenly remember how wine goes straight to your big head and your small head, but it is very late. This is the point where you let go and let God. You have tried. Enough is enough. You will continue No Nut November in 2021, by God鈥檚 grace.
Read: 16 Hilarious Slangs For Masturbation
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