In the bedroom, naked, we are stripped to our most primal form. All our trappings and adornments are peeled off, leaving us bare, locked in horizontal combat. It鈥檚 in times like this that our biggest insecurities and fears come to the fore.
Many men struggle under the weight of insecurities. With a society that forces men to remain quiet under emotional strain, they fight an uphill battle against their vulenrabilites. I spoke to six men about their insecurities in the bedroom. Here鈥檚 what they had to say.
Fola, 25, Gay
For most of my young adult life, I鈥檝e struggled with inferiority complex, most of it stemming from my body. I have masculine features and a beard but I also have a feminine figure. That has always made me self-conscious of myself for as long as I can remember. Other men seem to like it but I still feel weird.
My other biggest insecurity is the fact that I have some fetishes which most people might consider weird so I don鈥檛 ask for them. This affects the quality of the sex, for me. I鈥檓 not really bothered about the size of my penis because I鈥檓 a bottom. In that area, I鈥檓 neither small no big.
Vido, 23, Straight
I feel insecure when I can鈥檛 make my partner orgasm quick enough. They eventually cum, but I start to feel some type of way when it takes too long.
I also feel insecure when I鈥檓 trying to get up for the second round and I can鈥檛 get ol鈥 Johnny to go beyond semi-hard.
Ugochukwu, 29, Straight
I once had a sexual partner who could fit my whole penis in her mouth without even being close to gagging or choking. My penis used to feel like a lollipop in her mouth, literally. I discreetly brought up the topic once or twice just so she could reassure me that my penis was 鈥渙kay.鈥
I want to say I鈥檝e outgrown it it but I had a fairly recent experience that proved that I haven鈥檛. I try to get over it and not stop me from enjoying sex, but it seeps through sometimes, constantly hovering over me.
Ola, 27, Pansexual
When I get naked in the bedroom, I get some weird reactions from women about the size of my penis but they try to be nice about it. They say things like 鈥淒on鈥檛 worry, it鈥檚 not the smallest I鈥檝e seen.鈥 I try to overcompensate with foreplay most times. Which leads to my second insecurity.
Once we start having sex, I鈥檓 Speedy Gonzalez. I don鈥檛 last very long, so I try to make sure my female partners reach orgasm during foreplay before I penetrate. And while we’re waiting for me to get hard again, they start murmuring.
I feel more comfortable having sex with men because there鈥檚 a lot less pressure. If I don鈥檛 get hard, he will.
You know how women say 鈥淗e knows how to touch the right spots鈥? Well, that鈥檚 not me. Women even think I鈥檓 scared to touch them but that鈥檚 not true. I just don鈥檛 know what to do/where to touch.
Jefferson, 25, Straight
I鈥檓 constantly weighed down from worrying about making the woman achieve orgasms. Many women have a lot of hangups concerning sex which stops them from enjoying it as much as she wants to. I鈥檓 always thinking about how to bypass her internal conflicts and make her enjoy having sex with me. I like it when my women love me. In fact, they must love me, even if they have other men.
Tosin, 22, Straight
Every time I鈥檓 having sex with someone new, I鈥檓 always anxious. I鈥檓 studying their faces for their reactions whenever I pull down my boxers.
I鈥檓 a little over 6 inches in length, but it鈥檚 up to the women I sleep with to decide what the right size is. I know 6 inches is bigger than the average penis size but I worry about it anyway.
More men talk about their experiences: 5 Nigerian Men Talk About Discovering Masturbation
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