If you didn鈥檛 get the memo, you鈥檙e getting it now. The Society of Toxic Masculinity has declared that it is gay for any man to be seen carrying any of these items
1. A handbag
Are you modelling for Chanel? Why are you carrying bag? Instead of squeezing all your belongings into two pockets.
2. An umbrella
It鈥檚 better for the rain to beat you as an alpha male. If they ask you why your clothes are wet, tell them that鈥檚 how real niggas do.
3. Lip balm
Lip balm? Don鈥檛 you know it鈥檚 gay to have healthy, moisturised lips?
4. Anything in pink
Are you really a real man if you own anything in pink? It鈥檚 obviously better to declare war on a whole colour just because it鈥檚 not 鈥渕anly鈥 enough.
5. A fanny pack
Fanny packs are only for the women and the gays. Real men don鈥檛 carry fanny packs. In fact they don鈥檛 carry anything at all.
6. Painkillers
Why would you use painkillers when you can just bear the pain like a real man?
7. A banana
Real man don鈥檛 eat bananas. Real men don鈥檛 mind being deficient in potassium because eating bananas is gay. I don鈥檛 make the rules.
8. Feelings
As a real man, you must never have feelings. You must keep everything in you chest, even though you鈥檙e about to explode.
