It鈥檚 possible that when you think about breadwinners in the home, your mind automatically goes to the man. Regardless of what society expects, this isn鈥檛 always the case in every family.
We spoke to six Nigerian women about being major financial providers in their families, and here鈥檚 what they had to say:
鈥淲e don鈥檛 talk about it鈥
鈥 Joke*, 36
I鈥檝e been married for four years, and my husband has only officially worked for one year since we got together. He lost his job due to some kind of office politics, and now, he just does some online freelancing to make money.
I cover all the bills 鈥 including rent and our children鈥檚 school fees 鈥 from my 鈧100k salary. It鈥檚 challenging, and I must have taken loans from every co-operative at my job. At this point, we don鈥檛 even talk about me having to take care of everything anymore; it鈥檚 just expected. I can鈥檛 say anything so as not to seem disrespectful.
鈥淢y mum expects me to send money home鈥
鈥 Gina*, 20
I鈥檓 a student at one of the federal polytechnics, and I also make hair for my fellow students to get some money. My mum is a single mother of two, and she sells sweets to fend for us.
I understand how tough things are at home, and I send what I can, especially to support my little sister who鈥檚 still in secondary school, but it gets frustrating that my mum expects so much from me. I once asked her where she thought I got money from and she didn鈥檛 say anything.
I hustle daily to support my family and pay for school, but I hope I don鈥檛 get pushed into doing what I鈥檓 not supposed to do.
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鈥淣o one knows our situation鈥
鈥 Giftie*, 28
I earn 70% more than my husband does. So naturally, I take on more responsibilities at home. That isn鈥檛 an issue in itself, but the pressure from our extended family is out of this world.
My husband is generous, and our extended family takes advantage of this. It has gotten so bad that they now feel entitled, and if he doesn鈥檛 send money, they say his wife doesn鈥檛 want him to help them. Now I find myself spending most of my salary just to satisfy family demands 鈥 while they think it鈥檚 coming from my husband. People think we鈥檙e rich, in reality, we have to stretch out my husband鈥檚 small salary to afford rent and other utilities.
鈥淚t鈥檚 tiring鈥
鈥 Lizzy*, 33
My husband is out of the country, and I鈥檝e been the only one catering to the children 鈥 well, except for the yearly rent that he sends.
He鈥檚 been away for three years now, and I still wonder if it鈥檚 that difficult to send something to assist in feeding and school fees at least once in a while. His family also doesn鈥檛 care to know how we live. But if I dare ask him for money, his mother will know and send one of his siblings to harass me.
I like to console myself by assuming I鈥檓 a single mother so I don鈥檛 feel too disappointed.
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鈥淚 try my best to ease my parents鈥 suffering鈥
鈥 Jocelyn*, 27
I know how hard my parents worked to ensure my siblings and I didn鈥檛 lack anything while we were growing up.
Now that I have a job and they鈥檙e both retired, I鈥檓 only too happy to take on our financial needs, especially with three of my siblings still in school. It鈥檚 tough because I don鈥檛 earn so much, and I don鈥檛 have a glucose guardian, but I try my best.
It means I can鈥檛 just spend on enjoyment sturvs for myself or randomly go out with friends, but it鈥檚 a sacrifice I鈥檓 happy to make. My parents did more for us.
鈥淲e鈥檙e a unit鈥
鈥 Hadiza*, 31
My husband resigned from work in 2021 to further his studies in another state. I鈥檝e had to shoulder all the home expenses and even assist with his school expenses.
I don鈥檛 have a problem with it because this is something that we already talked about and agreed on together. But it鈥檚 difficult because we have three children. Anyway, the fact that this should be temporary helps make it easier.
*All names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
What鈥檚 the Wildest Thing You鈥檝e Done to Make Money? Read What These Six Nigerians Had to Say.
