It鈥檚 popular opinion that firstborns are third parents. They form the last leg of the Holy Trinity of Nigerian parenthood. But it鈥檚 hardly bliss to the firstborns themselves, who are managing their own lives while being the bridge between two generations; their parents and siblings. 7 Nigerians share their experiences about what it really costs to be a first-born child.
Toyin, 56, Male
Damages: 鈧1,000,000/month
I think my case is peculiar because I鈥檓 not just the first-born child, I am also the first-born in a large polygamous family. I have 14 siblings, all of whom I have to cater to in some way. This gets overbearing sometimes because I have my own family to care for. On a good month, I spend an average of 鈧1m on helping the family alone. This ranges from school fees and rents to my mum鈥檚 medical bills. While I wish I didn鈥檛 have to carry such a heavy burden, it鈥檚 quite gratifying to help out in every way I can.
Ibraheem, 25, Male
Damages: 鈧30,000/month
I recently started working full-time. And I transitioned into this by taking freelance jobs from time to time. I don鈥檛 think I make a lot of money, but I feel like I give out a lot. I often have to send some money to my parents every month for upkeep, and to both of my siblings as allowance. It feels good to be able to do that. But it just constantly reminds me that my money is not really my own.
Shade, 38, Female
Damages: 鈧200,000/month
I don鈥檛 have to spend this much every month, but I find that I often end up doing so. If I had to describe how it really flows out, I鈥檇 say it鈥檚 the random requests for favours I get from family. I鈥檓 often seen as the most successful member of the family, even though I don鈥檛 think it鈥檚 true. This puts a lot of financial expectation on me that simply doesn鈥檛 make sense. I used to spend a lot more on these favours, but I had to make a clear plan. 鈧100,000 for my parents and another 鈧100,000 for my siblings. Anybody else, I give them excuses. This has worked really well.
Nkechi, 22, Female
Damages: 鈧50,000/month
I鈥檓 not bleeding a lot of money right now, but I can already feel it coming. The small jokes that end with 鈥渟ha give us money鈥. The random calls I get from my siblings because 鈥淚 don鈥檛 want to ask daddy鈥. I appreciate them though. They make me feel good and useful. I鈥檓 also already hearing whispers from my parents about monthly upkeep. God, abeg.
Demola, 45, Male
Damages: 鈧400,000/month
I get random calls from my siblings about how they just want to check up on their big brother. But no, it鈥檚 all lies. They know I鈥檓 fine. They鈥檙e really checking up on my bank account and the amount of money that鈥檚 going to depart from it. If, like me, you have six female siblings, you鈥檒l know what I鈥檓 talking about.
Olutayo, 60, Male
Damages: 鈧500,000/month
Yorubas have this mini-title, 鈥淥lori Ebi鈥. It loosely translates to 鈥淗ead of the Family鈥, and the surest way to get it is to be the first-born child. I took this title after our parents died and I had to be the one keeping everyone together. It comes with a lot of responsibility, mostly financial. It鈥檚 the same as adding three nuclear families to your own. Whatever financial situation they face, your pocket will feel it somehow. I help out on everything from school fees to upkeep and even rent. I don鈥檛 even keep track as much as I used to.
Seliat, 57, Female
Damages: 鈧10,000/month
Apart from my kids, the only things that take money from my pocket are my business and my mom鈥檚 health. I have my husband to pay for most other things. Also, my siblings are doing pretty well for themselves. So there鈥檚 really no pressure to spend money on anyone.
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