There are different ways to trick your parents into giving you money, and for Chidi*, it turns out is one of them.
The 23-year-old talks about discovering his dad鈥檚 womanising side and why pretending to be a woman was the perfect punishment for his dad鈥檚 actions.
As told to Boluwatife
You should know two things about my dad: He鈥檚 an unrepentant womaniser and as stingy as they come.
I only learned about the womanising a few years ago, but that stingy part? I鈥檝e always known that about my dad. Or, more accurately, I knew that my dad was often reluctant to spend money, but I thought it was because he didn鈥檛 have much of it. It wasn鈥檛 exactly a far-fetched idea, considering he鈥檚 a building engineer with a wife and six children to feed.
Plus, he was hardly around due to working on one construction site or the other. I assumed that he constantly had to hustle to provide for us.
I grew to understand that getting money from my dad didn鈥檛 just happen; it involved serious planning. Several times, I鈥檝e seen my mum sit across from my dad at the dining table to discuss after we (the children) had cleared the plates.
Those discussions were often about money 鈥 how much she needed to sort out a bill and why exactly the bill was necessary. It was like a budget presentation and approval meeting. My dad wouldn’t drop anything if she didn鈥檛 鈥渄efend鈥 her needs well enough.
I remember almost missing the deadline to pay my WAEC registration fee in 2015 because I accidentally gave him two different dates as the payment deadline. He assumed I was lying about the money and refused to pay until my teacher came to see him.
University wasn鈥檛 any better. My dad never picked up my calls, just in case the call was for money. He only responded to my texts to inform me when he鈥檇 sent the usual 鈧5k he sent once or twice a month. I didn鈥檛 think much about his attitude because it wasn鈥檛 strange 鈥 the whole family knew he . But, I made an interesting discovery in my final year.
My university was in the same state as my family house, but I hardly ever went home because the distance between home and school was too great to visit regularly on my meagre allowance. But one day in 2022, I left school to attend a party at a nightclub not too far from home and surprisingly found my dad at the same nightclub.
Thankfully, he didn鈥檛 see me, but I had a good view of him from where I sat across the club. This man was dancing with a hot babe and holding her like his life depended on it.
I couldn鈥檛 tell my mum what I鈥檇 seen because I worried it would cause problems at home. But I had to tell someone, so I called my younger sister instead, and that鈥檚 when I realised I was even the least informed in my family.
Apparently, my dad had a thing for pursuing everything in skirts. My sister was still in secondary school, so she lived at home and had front-seat access to the multiple times my mum accused my dad of spending all his money on different women. Those times he wasn鈥檛 home that I thought were due to hustling? Oga was actually enjoying his life with women.
From what my sister shared, I realised the womanising had always been there, but my mum never made noise about it. I think she thought he鈥檇 grow out of it but had no choice but to vocally complain when he continued after almost all the children had grown up and left the house.
I was quite disappointed to learn that about my dad. This man struggled to provide for his own family, but he spent money freely on girlfriends. I know how often my mum had to borrow to support her provisions business when we were younger. I was angry, but there was nothing I could do. I couldn鈥檛 confront him and risk losing financial support for school.
But then, some months later, I found an opportunity to hit back at my dad.
I can鈥檛 remember what I was doing on Facebook that day, but I unexpectedly found my dad鈥檚 second Facebook profile. I say second because he already had one that we all knew about. This new profile only had his middle name and a shortened version of his surname, but I was sure it was him from the profile picture.
My female friend, Ada*, was in my hostel room that day, and I showed her the profile while complaining about how my dad had probably created a secret Facebook account to lie to women that he was single.
Ada jokingly suggested opening a fake account to trick him, and what started as a joke quickly became real. I opened a new account pretending to be a girl and uploaded Ada鈥檚 pictures to make my claim realistic. I sent my dad a friend request, and by the time I woke up the next day, he had accepted it.
Over the next week, I was in a 鈥渢alking stage鈥 with my dad 鈥 of course, he thought it was a fine babe. Whenever he asked for pictures or video calls, Ada took over. By the second week, I started billing him. Surprise surprise, he sent money. The first amount my dad sent was 鈧50k. He鈥檇 never given me 鈧50k as his actual child before. I shared the money equally with Ada.
The scam lasted three weeks, and my dad sent a total of 鈧250k to his 鈥渕ystery woman鈥. It was that high because I made him send 鈧100k for the supposed flight ticket to bring his babe to our city so they鈥檇 finally meet.
Ada and I had claimed the 鈥渂abe鈥 was a university student in another part of the country, which was why we could stretch the meeting to three weeks. The 鈥渂abe鈥 was supposed to travel down to our state for semester break and meet with my dad. Of course, we blocked him immediately after that and shared the money.
After we blocked him, I called my sister and tried to get a sense of what things were like at home, but she said everything was fine. My dad didn鈥檛 act like anything strange had happened and just continued normally.
Of course, he had to continue normally. How do you tell your wife, 鈥淢y online girlfriend scammed me鈥? It was the perfect punishment, and I don鈥檛 feel bad at all. I鈥檇 do it again if I had the chance.
That was over a year ago, but I still smile secretly anytime I see my dad. I鈥檓 tempted to one day tell him I was his 鈥渙nline girlfriend鈥, but I鈥檒l keep that secret a little longer.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
NEXT READ: I Took an 鈧80m Loan to Pursue My Biggest Dream Yet
