91����

Nigerians aren’t strangers to inheritance disputes. In a society where the subject of writing wills still triggers superstitions of premature death, stories of family disagreements over property sharing are still widespread. But these disputes aren’t always limited to those whose loved ones passed away without a will.

In this story, Oladele* (25) shares how the unfortunate passing of his parents within seven years of each other was linked to family disputes over inheritance, and why he’s decided to never leave money or property to his future children.

As told to Boluwatife

I once told an ex-girlfriend I didn’t plan to write a will or leave properties for my future children. She thought I was uninformed and tried to make me see reason. When I held on to my stance, she concluded I was stubborn too. 

This event didn’t end our relationship, but I think it may have been one of the straws that eventually broke our love life’s camel’s back. 

I didn’t tell my ex the reason for my strong opinion on wills and inheritance. I don’t even like talking about it because of the horrible memories it brings. But recently, conversations broke out online after a late billionaire’s family brought their inheritance dispute to the public. 

I read several people say things like, “At least the man had a will. The family has no case,” and I couldn’t help but shake my head. People don’t know the lengths others can go because of their greed and wickedness. 

I know from first-hand experience.

My parents came from money. My paternal grandfather owned a popular fuel station and had houses in Lagos and Osun States. He also had several wives and multiple children, and everyone was well provided for. My maternal grandparents made their money from manufacturing and several other business ventures. 

Despite their privileged backgrounds, my parents worked hard to build their own legacy. I remember hearing them complain occasionally about one family member or the other who wasn’t doing anything serious and relied on the family’s name and connections to survive. 

To my parents, the only property or wealth they could depend on was theirs. Anything from the family was only supposed to be extra.

I wish they’d held on to this belief when the inheritance fights started. They’d probably still be alive today. 

My paternal grandfather died several years before I was born, and because he , the family had to sit to agree on how to share his houses and properties. 

I wasn’t there, but I learned that the agreement took several months and multiple fights to happen. But everyone got their share, and there was peace. 

However, in 2009 — the year I turned 10 and the 15th anniversary of my grandfather’s passing — another fight over a family property broke out. My dad’s uncle started raising trouble over my grandfather’s main compound, which had been given to my dad as the first born. 

The compound had a big house and a smaller two-bedroom apartment by the side. My great-uncle wanted the big house to be named the family house. His argument was that my dad had built his own house and should be satisfied with the apartment. 

The big house would be open for the family’s use if we had functions in Lagos. My dad (and the rest of the family) argued that the house was already open to everyone. 

My great-uncle claimed it was necessary to remove my dad’s name from the ownership documents so his (my dad’s) children wouldn’t one day claim it as theirs, and forget it was for family use. My great-uncle also wanted to hold on to the house documents for “safe-keeping”. It was obvious to everyone that he wanted the house for himself, and my dad refused.

The issue dragged on for years, dissolving into actual fights. My great-uncle would come to our house to shout threats and my dad would tell him to do his worst. 

He eventually did his worst. 

One morning in 2011, my dad stepped on a stone in his room and became paralysed. My mum took him to hospitals in Nigeria and India but they couldn’t find anything specific. The doctors just kept giving him medication and sending him for tests. Within months, my dad stopped speaking and started swelling up. 

Three days before my dad died, we realised my great uncle was behind the strange illness. An Osun priestess stopped my mum on the road and told her to move out of her husband’s family house if she didn’t want to lose her life and her children to the same thing that was about to kill her husband.

ALSO READ: My Husband’s Family Has Attacked Me Spiritually for Years

We left the house and never turned back. I heard the uncle moved in after my dad’s funeral and still lives there with his family. The other family members don’t dare question him.

It wasn’t easy for my mum to provide for five children on her own. She’d spent almost everything trying to find a cure for my dad. I think that’s part of what made her become actively involved in inheritance discussions when my maternal grandfather died in 2015. 

My mum’s inheritance was supposed to be straightforward. Her dad left a will, but my mum’s brother and another woman who claimed to have had kids for my grandfather contested the will. My mum’s brother claimed that the will didn’t include all the properties, and the woman claimed that she had a right to an inheritance.

They took the matter to court and it dragged on for three years until my mum died of a stroke in 2018. I didn’t bother to know what eventually happened. 

I know that the stress of going to court, constantly arguing with family, while trying to survive with five children contributed to my mum’s high blood pressure, which put her at risk of suffering a stroke. 

You can say I’m stubborn and uninformed because of my stance on wills, but I’ve experienced life from both sides — with a will and without one. There’s no difference. Inheritance is more of a curse than a blessing in this part of the world. It’s better to just live your life and build your own thing.

The most I’ll do if God blesses me with wealth is to buy all my property in each of my future children’s names and give it to them while I’m still alive. I don’t intend to own anything. If I have a will, it will state that any money in my account should be immediately donated to a charity organisation. I’m not leaving money or property to any family. 

If I have nothing in my name, there’s nothing for them to fight over.

*Name has been changed for anonymity.

NEXT READ: It’s Taken Us Three Years [and Counting] to Access My Late Aunt’s Pension

Join 1,000+ Nigerians, finance experts and industry leaders at for a day of real, raw conversations about money and financial freedom. and secure your spot at the money event of the year, where you’ll get the practical tools to 10x your income, network with the biggest players in your industry, and level up in your career and business.