The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, .
How long have you been with your partner?
Roseline and I have been together for about a year.
How did you meet?
We met at a tech conference in 2025. Because of my job, networking is an important reason I attend conferences. I’m also quite outgoing, so meeting and connecting with people comes easily to me.
In between sessions, I noticed Roseline standing at one corner of the lobby by herself, so I walked up to her and struck up a conversation. She was there alone and felt out of place since there was no familiar face, so I became her unofficial “plus one.” We followed each other around for the rest of the day.
The following day, we saw a movie together; we each bought our own tickets. After that, she treated me to brunch. We went to this upscale restaurant (which she chose), and she asked me to order whatever I wanted.
Ooh. Bougie.
According to her, she wanted to thank me for helping her enjoy the conference. If I remember correctly, the bill came to about ₦90k. I was so surprised; I’d never met a Nigerian woman who was willing to spend her own money on a man who wasn’t her husband.
We kept in touch after that. I’m not even sure exactly when we got into a talking stage. I just know we were talking almost every day, and we knew we liked each other. The talking stage lasted two months, and we were eventually like, “Let’s actually date for real.” We’ve been together since.
I feel like the brunch thing already gives it away, but what was Roseline’s financial situation?
Oh, she’s a rich babe. I had an idea when we met at the conference. She holds a senior role at a major fintech company, so I wasn’t too shocked that she could afford to pay for the brunch. The fact that she would have money felt like a given.
However, about two months into our relationship, I realised she also comes from a wealthy background. Her family has money, and all her siblings are abroad. Finding out didn’t make much of a difference for me; it just gave a clearer picture of things.
How so?
Roseline is very open about money. Even before we became official, she had told me her salary. The conversation started when she asked why “we HR people” don’t like revealing remuneration in job vacancies, and it somehow turned to our own salaries.
She matter-of-factly said, “I earn ₦2 million.” Again, I’d never met any woman who’d openly share income figures with a romantic interest. It makes sense now that I know she’s never really struggled. I doubt anyone who grew up watching her parents hustle, or who had to hustle herself, would be that open.
Also, she didn’t flinch when I told her my salary (it was ₦550k at the time). Our income gap is pretty wide and not in the commonly accepted order, where the guy earns more. If she’d grown up in a typical, average household, I doubt she’d be okay with that kind of financial dynamic, especially with all the stories of how men can become weird with women who earn higher. I mean, I’m not like that, but I wouldn’t blame any woman who would be scared of that possibility.
Roseline doesn’t even think in that line. She’s the “money shouldn’t be an issue with love” type. I feel like that can only be your mindset when money was never a bad subject in your home growing up.
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I see your point. What’s the financial dynamic in your relationship these days? Do you both have conversations about money?
It’s really not a major topic for us. To be honest, I’m actually enjoying dating a rich woman. She can wake up and be like, “Let’s go out this weekend. It’s my treat.”
She doesn’t wait for me to spend money for us to have a good time. I pay for dates too, but since she’s often the one who brings them up, she insists on treating me.
No one is billing me or asking to buy their data. I buy her gifts, but it’s more of an “I think Roseline will look good in this, let me get it for her,” and not a “I have to buy it, or she’ll complain” situation.
She also buys me thoughtful gifts. For my birthday, she paid for a three-day staycation for us because I’d complained about being stressed at work. At least I’ve been freed from the shackles of receiving singlets and boxers as birthday gifts.
Love it for you. So, the income gap has never been an issue?
Between us, no. However, my friends and siblings think it might be an issue in the future. I recently started thinking about proposing to Roseline, so I had to involve my family and some of our friends. That’s when a lot of them found out about the income gap.
I’m not even sure why I told them. It was just one of those things that come up in conversations. Also, I’m not bothered by it, so I didn’t think saying things like, “My babe is richer than me o” could be an issue for people. Apparently, it is.
What have the reactions been like?
It’s been a lot of “Ah. She won’t respect you,” and “It can become a big problem down the line.” One person even asked if I expected her to leave her family house in Ikoyi and come and live with me in Ketu. Honestly, I hadn’t thought about that. Of course, by the time we get married, I’d need to rent a bigger space, but will she be comfortable with Ketu?
I think the many naysayers have started to put some doubt in my mind. Roseline and I haven’t really talked about what our financial dynamic would look like if we get married, but I assumed it’d be a joint approach. I know she’ll most likely think the same if we talk about it, but now I sometimes catch myself wondering if it’ll work out in the long run.
When those thoughts come, I try to snap myself out of it by reminding myself that my current financial situation won’t be permanent. I’m earning this low because of the company I work for. I know people on my level who earn over ₦1 million. I just need to position myself for better opportunities to earn more. I can’t let fear or people’s opinions sabotage the best relationship I’ve ever had.
I reckon a wedding will come after the proposal. Do you have a plan to fund it?
The proposal isn’t till later in the year, and the wedding should be in 2027. I do have some money saved away. Every month, I save at least ₦100k; half in my regular savings and the other half in equity funds, which is essentially my wedding fund.
I have about ₦700k in the equity funds, which is nowhere near enough to pay for a wedding. I’m looking to change jobs soon, though. There’s one that might click soon. If it does, I intend to start saving at least 50% of my income and cut down on unnecessary expenses to double my portfolio by next year.
Plus, I have family and friends. I’m sure that, when the time comes, we’ll be able to raise whatever we need for a wedding.
What’s the ideal financial future you’d like for you and Roseline?
This is more of a short-term future, but I’d really like to be able to afford a destination honeymoon abroad. That’s my next big goal.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, .
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
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