Money conversations in marriage, especially when it comes to who should pay for what, can get tricky. For some couples, it’s 50/50. For others, the husband primarily takes the responsibility.
We spoke to 10 married Nigerians about how they split bills, and their answers show there’s really no one-size-fits-all approach.
“We don’t split bills because we’re one” — Mary*, 37, F
I earn 10 times what my husband, who’s a religious leader, does. I’ve always been the higher earner, even before we got married. My husband’s income also isn’t very regular because he’s sometimes owed, or he decides to use his income to support struggling families.
So, to make sure our home runs smoothly, everything (my salary and his) goes into one account. Then we use that to pay for everything. We don’t split bills because we are one. We’ve had no issues with this approach in our 6 years of marriage.
“We tried 50/50, but it didn’t last a year” — Kunle*, 33, M
My wife and I tried 50/50 when we first got married in 2022, but it didn’t last a year. She complained that having to calculate everything to share the cost made her feel like a squatter. Like if she didn’t pay her bills, I would send her packing.
At some point, she stopped cooking and doing house chores. Her reason? Since she was contributing equally, I had to start cooking too. The whole thing led to regular fights. Anytime she cooked or did any house chore, she’d withhold sex, saying she was tired and didn’t want to “contribute her body.”
So, we had to stop the system. Now, I handle most of the bills, while she only pays for food.
“I handle everything” — Jola*, 36, F
My husband has been unemployed for three years, so I handle all the expenses with what I make as a school owner/head teacher. For context, we have four children, and my husband’s niece also lives with us. I’m basically feeding a family of seven and still paying salaries.
It’s quite frustrating, but I can’t complain because my husband will imply I’m not supporting him at his low point. But it’s not like he even handled everything before he lost his job. I still contributed at least half. The most annoying thing is, I’ve been trying to get him to work at my school so he can have a salary, but he says he can’t work for me.
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“We share the expenses, but not equally” — Francis*, 31, M
My wife earns ₦200k more than I do, so it’s natural that she contributes more. We don’t necessarily calculate how much each person brings, though. It’s a case of, “We need this thing. I have money, so I’ll pay. When my money finishes, you take over.” My salary finishes faster, so my wife takes over.Â
We also have a joint savings account for rent and other big expenses. I save ₦50k monthly, but my wife saves ₦100k. We’ve been doing this since we got married two years ago.
“My husband handles all the financial responsibilities” — Joy*, 27, F
I’ve been married for a year, and my husband handles all the financial responsibilities. He knows that his money is our money, and my money is my money. I’ve always been loud about my stance, and he’s fine with it.
I support him when I can, though. He often needs loans for his business, and I help out. He always pays me back. I also handle all his wardrobe expenses. If I left him alone, he’d wear one shoe for three years. If I don’t buy him new clothes and things, he won’t buy for himself.
“We both have our duties” — Onyinye*, 35, F
My husband pays rent and school fees for our two children, while I handle food and small home expenses. That’s how we’ve structured it from the beginning.
Sometimes, we step into each other’s duties. For instance, if my husband is broke, I can’t sit and watch my children get sent out of school. So, I look for ways to gather money and sort it. Also, if I don’t have money for foodstuffs, my husband gives me. We just manage with each other like that.
“I send my salary to him” — Dorcas*, 34, F
My husband and I both work, but I send my salary to him as he’s better with money. He then gives me an allowance for transportation and food expenses, while he sorts out everything else, from rent to electricity.
We’ve been doing this since we had our first child four years ago. Before then, I held on to my salary and sorted out expenses like food on my own. However, my husband didn’t think it was transparent. We also had issues with money running out in my hand, and complaints that I wasn’t managing it well. For peace to reign, we started this system, and it works for us.
The only challenge is that I hardly have any extra money. If I need anything else, I have to get his approval.
“It’s a combined effort” — Lanre*, 36, M
We don’t track who pays for what. It’s a combined effort. My wife and I use a spreadsheet to tally our income and expenses, and budget for the coming month. So, we add up both our salaries to make 100% and assign percentages to every need. For instance, food is 20%, savings is 20%, etc. As we spend, we know how much is left and how we need to adjust to make it last until the end of the month.
It’s a very smooth process. We learnt about it from a church friend two years ago, and it’s been really helpful.
“We split everything equally” — Joseph*, 36, M
My wife and I sit down every month, calculate all home expenses (food, rent, etc), and split everything equally. We started it when we first got married in 2022. We used to live abroad, and with the monthly rent and all the expenses, it made sense to split it that way so no one was carrying too much load.
We returned to Nigeria in 2024 due to visa issues, and we still split 50/50. We’re already used to it, and it helps us avoid misunderstandings. After each person brings their half to sort out the bills, they’re free to do whatever they want with the remaining. We don’t ask each other about our personal expenses.
“My husband does the heavy lifting” — Ranti*, 31, F
My husband works a 9-5 job and earns far more than I do, so he naturally covers most of the expenses. I run an online business and don’t make a regular income. There’s no pressure on me to handle specific bills, but I contribute sometimes.
For instance, I buy fuel and pay the NEPA bills since I’m always at home. It’s not a strict role, though. I can still tell him to buy it, and he will. Sometimes, too, I can say I don’t want to cook today and order food for the whole family from my pocket. But my husband does most of the heavy lifting, to be honest.
