I had no more tears left to cry when I lost my mum four years ago. Prior to her demise, she鈥檇 been bedridden for a year and even though I hoped otherwise, I knew the end was near. Those days at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH), she lost her speech, and the only way we could connect was through music.
We had a routine. I鈥檇 plug my pods in her ears, select a song and watch her attempt to hum the familiar gospel melodies and trending afrobeats songs. It was both beautiful and sad.
She died a month after we started this routine, and I found myself trying to relive the memories we shared during her final moments. Music was the only thing that helped, but not just any music. Gospel was too solemn, foreign music felt, well, foreign to my emotions.
And afrobeats was noisy, until I finally found these particular songs that gave me the familiar sensation I wanted.
鈥淚f I Die鈥 by Dagrin
Dagrin鈥檚 鈥淚f I Die鈥 easily ranks as one of the most controversial Nigerian songs, and the reason isn鈥檛 far-fetched. Who records a track about their own death weeks before dying? With lyrics like 鈥淚f I die, If I die, make you no cry for me. E jen simi, e jor kejen mi,鈥 I鈥檝e never related more, for someone whose mum was ready to embrace death at the time she left.
鈥淥lumoranti鈥 by Niyola
When Niyola released this song in 2020, I was compelled to use it on a compilation of my mum鈥檚 photos and videos, even though it wasn鈥檛 her death anniversary. The profound lyrics found melodious ways to say things I didn鈥檛 know I wanted to say.
鈥淚 pray, I pray, I don鈥檛 stop thinking about you. I know you鈥檒l surely wait for me. You鈥檙e still here inside my heart鈥. The very thought of forgetting my mother because of death? No, death shouldn鈥檛 have that much power over anyone. And Niyola captures this so perfectly well in 鈥淥lumoranti鈥.
鈥淥lorun Mi鈥 by Tiwa Savage
Death was a stranger to me when Tiwa Savage recorded a tribute to fallen stars and heroes in 2013. I knew it was a sad song, I just didn鈥檛 know how sad. Six years later, her lyrics 鈥淥lorun mi gba adura mi. When you take all the ones we love. We鈥檒l carry on, and it won鈥檛 be long. I pray to be strong. Olorun mi gba adura mi oh鈥 became a mantra that made moving on a little easier.
鈥淎shes鈥 by M.I Abaga
Rap was the last thing I wanted to hear while I was grieving, but I discovered M.I鈥檚 tribute to the , the Port Harcourt students brutally murdered by the mob in a local community in 2012. The rapper used music as a tool to express hurt and speak against societal ills. Lines like, 鈥淭he reason I鈥檓 gone. Let it be told, let it be known and turned into a song鈥 resonated deeply with me.
鈥淟egends Can Never Die鈥 by Davido
鈥淟CND鈥 was a tribute to the singer鈥檚 late son, Ifeanyi, and other friends he鈥檚 lost over the years. He opens the track with the reflective line, 鈥淢ake I tell you something, life is not fair,鈥 and goes on to describe his loved ones as legends who are shooting stars in the sky. While the track might have been a bit too much at the early stages of grief, it was a favourite because it came out when I鈥檇 fully come to terms with my mum鈥檚 passing. It鈥檚 the perfect afrobeat song for celebrating the lives of those who鈥檝e passed.
鈥淒ad鈥檚 Song鈥 by Teni
One of the hardest things about losing a parent at a young age is coming to terms with the fact that they鈥檒l never see you become more. This was Teni鈥檚 state of mind when she recorded 鈥淒ad鈥檚 Song鈥 in 2021. She opens the track with notable career achievements she made in her dad鈥檚 absence and how he鈥檇 have wished to witness it all. The singer鈥檚 pain was all too familiar. Like her, my mum left way too early, missing out on important milestones that were only possible because of how much she sacrificed.
With lines like 鈥淓ru o bami, you鈥檙e standing by me. Eru o bami, you鈥檙e always next to me鈥, this song offers reassurance that our lost ones will always watch over us even though they鈥檙e no longer there.
