To stay entertained and unmoved by the bs, these are the only trusted, effective ways to watch BBTitans.
Don鈥檛 have a fave
Go in blind, come out blind. If possible, don鈥檛 even take note of their names. Give them nicknames, or better still, call them contestant 1 to whatever number they came in as. Detach yourself from Big Brother鈥檚 children lest they carry you go where you no know.
Make a deal with nepa
Go to their office with a big fat hamper and beg them one by one. We don鈥檛 care how they鈥檒l know when you鈥檝e watched enough. Just beg them to cut your light off when it鈥檚 enough.
Watch it only on your TV
Watch big brother only on your tv. Do not, and I鈥檒l repeat it, do not watch it via Twitter. Agendas will rise. You鈥檒l want to see what鈥檚 happening in real-time. Next thing, you鈥檙e awake at 3 a.m. watching your fave like a witch watches their calabash.
Wear a rubber band around your wrist
It鈥檚 going to get heated. The housemates will get into fights, but you have to remember, it鈥檚 their fight, not yours. So every time you feel like standing on your sofa and swearing for the poor TV that hasn鈥檛 done anything to you, snap the band around your wrist to snap yourself back to reality.
Hire a slapper
Pay your slapper well oo, so they can slap you just enough to reset your brain if you start doing the most for the housemates, but not enough to give you temporary amnesia.
Don鈥檛 ship
I know they鈥檙e cute, I know you love love, but remember, human beings cannot be trusted. If you ship, they鈥檒l do as they please, and you鈥檒l have to defend them on Twitter. Bye bye sanity.
Japa
Pack your load and leave the country. Get as far away as you can. That way, you can鈥檛 just turn on your TV and see them. Problem solved.
