Have you all noticed how Nigerian artists like to shout, 鈥淔olake!鈥 unprovoked? Wizkid kept disturbing her to Pakurumo, Tekno kept begging her to love him like an annoying Old Nollywood campus pest and now, Pheelz and BNXN have turned her name into a national anthem in Finesse. Does every artist know a Folake or are they just on a mission to stress everyone with that name? We may never know. But so that this babe can rest and the lyrical breakfast can reach everyone, here鈥檚 an interesting list of names our favourite artists should explore.
Think outside the box for diversity sake.
1. Igboransanjueborurulo
This name means 鈥淥bedience is better than sacrifice鈥. While it sounds like the warning principals always give SS3 students after accusing them for being the worst senior set the school has ever seen, it could totally work in a love song as well. Our artists just need to think outside the box and experiment a little. Who鈥檚 going to go first? Davido? Wande Coal? Zinolesky? Let鈥檚 make it happen.
2. Kosisochukwumakasiweme
Nigerian artists, please, I dare you, do it! Lyricist up and down but you cannot find something that rhymes with Kosisochukwumakasiweme? Please, rise and don’t waste our money!
3. Zubaydah
This name is giving wealth, henna and Senator鈥檚 daughter. And to be honest, there isn鈥檛 a lot of Northern representation in mainstream Nigerian music. If musicians are not disturbing Folake, they鈥檙e shouting Amaka鈥檚 name and after that, they just jump to Vanessa. It鈥檚 time to switch it up.
4. Ramota
Have you met a Ramota that is less than 45? If you have, then, omo, you鈥檝e come in contact with the Last Airbender. Ramota is always an aunty. So while young artists like Pheelz and BNXN can鈥檛 shout this name anyhow out of respect, I鈥檇 like to call our daddies in music: 2Baba and Pasuma to the high table to give these aunties the much-needed representation they deserve.
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5. Enobong
In his original song, Gift, Iyanya sang 鈥淕ift, put off the light鈥, but imagine if he sang 鈥淓nobong, put off the light鈥 instead. Now that sound like a banger I鈥檇 be into. If you don鈥檛 get the gist by now, Enobong means 鈥淕od鈥檚 gift鈥, so basically, Iyanya would鈥檝e been saying the same thing. So can we get a remix or something? Iyanya and Don Jazzy, what鈥檚 good?
6. Agamadotuigwekuwamaranamuagbaliala
No, I鈥檓 not even playing, this is a real name. According to , his law school classmate went by this name and it apparently loosely translates to: 鈥淚 will pull down the heavens so the world will know I tried鈥. The meaning alone sounds like the story of a Nigerian love song. Inject it!
7. Esukpofo
Sounds like the name of someone who ties China white, puts some leaves in their mouths and goes to drop a calabash of boiled yam and red oil at the nearest junction. Don鈥檛 blame me; blame Yoruba films for giving me these scarry ass visuals. But does this mean ritualists don鈥檛 deserve love? Please and please, let鈥檚 fix this.
8. Odinaka
I sort of get why artists are afraid of shouting this name repeatedly. Folake sounds like a soft babe, while Odinaka sounds like a no-nonsense babe who consumes three bottles of stout with hot akpu in the morning. If you say one, she鈥檇 probably say two and beat you on top. Since Davido is now a gym bro, he should be the one to try this name first. Take risks and succeed sir.
9. Yebojinsoko
Adding my name to the mix because I, too, would like to shake my bumbum and do low-budget Dorime while my name is blasting in the club. What happened to the representation we鈥檝e been fighting for?
10. Bisola
Bisola is simple and cute. She literally sounds like she could be Folake鈥檚 sister or roommate. With all the love and attention these artists have been pouring on Folake and she鈥檚 probably airing them, I鈥檇 advise that they refocus on Bisola abeg. One day, Folake might actually be jealous and look your way. Delay is not denial.
CONTINUE READING: 10 Nigerian Names That Don鈥檛 Belong to Babies
