91����

I’m not the biggest fan of fashion reviews because I believe we should all be allowed to wear whatever we want and however we want. That being said, something about the looks from The Real Housewives of Lagos and King of Thieves premieres left my spirit deeply unsettled. And after much thought, I’ve decided to break my silence and call out some of the looks that haunt me till this day. 

1. Toyin Lawani aka Tiannah Styling 

The devil works hard, but Tiannah Styling works harder. Before we get into her outfit, just know that this woman is responsible for most of the other looks on this list, which makes her my nemesis. This safari Cinderella dress is what my paralysis demon has on when it visits me at night, so looking at it gives me PTSD? 

2. Broda Shaggi

Broda Shaggi, from Chronicles of Narnia called, he wants his goat outfit back. The hoofs aren’t even the weirdest part of this outfit, it’s the horns that throw me off. There’s so much to unpack here, but the more I look at this outfit, the more stressed I get. I need to lie down.

3. Femi Adebayo 

Someone, please play Diana Ross’ He Lives in Me because what in the Lion King is going on here? This is giving low budget Simba and honestly, I will not stand for it. Tiannah Styling needs to come out and explain herself asaptually. The fake ass lion with an even faker weave is just upsetting me and my homegirls. 

RECOMMENDED: I Reviewed the Wigs in “Young, Famous & African” So You Don’t Have To

4. Ronke Oshodi Oke

Where do I begin? I love Ronke Oshodi Oke but no one can convince me that she’s not a Spiderman villain here. The structure behind her is a major cause for concern and boy are we concerned. You know who really has it bad? The person holding that… edifice(?)  behind her. That person is the real victim of this story. 

5. Chioma Ikokwu

This outfit is a real life representation of doing too much, but doing nothing at all. There’s a massive slit, the nude illusions, the long ass train, the whatchamacallit on her head, the peacock feathery business on the side and the beaded turtleneck part. Girl, we’re stressed. Like the kids say, it’s not giving, and that’s on periodt. 

6. Stan Nze 

I know this outfit is appropriate for the King of Thieves premiere, but something about it throws me off. I can’t exactly put my cutlass on it right now, but I’ll let the audience decide. 

7. Wunmi Toriola 

It’s giving Little Red Riding Hood after hanging out with Kanayo O. Kanayo. At this point, I’d like to move a motion to officially call this colour “occultic red”. Yes, our has rocked it before, but then again, the  game is the game.  Also, why is everyone at this premiere holding a dangerous weapon? 

8. Caroline Danjuma 

Sis, where are you flying to? We need an explanation as to why they decided to ruin this gorgeous dress with those weird ass feathers. This could’ve been the standout fit of the night, but her village people worked and succeeded. Deep negro sigh. 

ALSO READ: 9 Lagos Fashion Trends That Need To Die