Remember when Nigerian songs were dramatic AF? We miss that. From wedding crashers stealing small chops to bukas that put people鈥檚 destinies inside groundnut bottles, these songs had storylines that had us going 鈥淲TF?鈥
1.
Can you imagine stopping by a random buka for hot white rice, beans, plantain and assorted meat, only to have your destiny stolen? Imagine that. Iya Basira had a chokehold on Tunde, Shiffy and Zeal to the point that their mothers, girlfriends and best friends all abandoned them. This is why it鈥檚 important to remember that there鈥檚 rice at home. Despite all this crazy, the wildest thing was they called a policeman and he actually came. In Nigeria? LOL. Even worse, they weren鈥檛 able to stop Iya Basira, , meaning that she was left to conquer the world, one stolen destiny at a time.
2.
It鈥檚 one thing for your girl to cheat on you. But to do that with your best friend? Omo, this one is above us. Honestly, we would like to hear her own side of the story before we cancel her. Who knows, maybe Peter and Paul were exaggerating. #FreeThatBabeAbeg
3.
The fact that our parents allowed us to listen to and sing this song is reason enough for us to sue them for child endangerment. The song鈥檚 plot revolves around a young child who witnesses their mum cheating on their dad with another man and proceeds to sing about it in graphic detail. It鈥檚 gross AF, but we also love the drama, and the child鈥檚 disturbing attention to detail. Don鈥檛 get us started on how Zule Zoo invented twerking. If you don鈥檛 believe us, argue with your daddy.
4.
This song must鈥檝e been the soundtrack that accompanied the origin stories of all millennial Yoruba demons. Because why on Beyonc茅鈥檚 green earth was this guy comparing his girl to all the girls he cheated on her with? In one breath, you are telling her she鈥檚 the one and in the next line, you鈥檙e comparing her to Ngozi. In the words of Ric Hassani, 鈥渢hunder fire you鈥 dear.
5.
Obasanjo, Femi Kuti, Lagbaja, Puff Daddy, and Eedris Abdulkareem all in one party in New York? Talk about a plot that was most definitely crack-inspired. After his Nigerian girlfriend calls him to ask why he abandoned her, Eedris Abulkareem gives her a long-ass tale about him japa鈥檌ng to America led to him meeting discount Puff Daddy and having the time of his life. The sad part is that this poor girl will probably wait for him. God will hill you, dear.
6.
Spilling the tea in casual neighbourhood gossip style, Omawumi talks about a man who molests and impregnates his daughter. While this story is wild AF, it鈥檚 also an endemic problem Nigerians tend to talk about in hushed tones, that鈥檚 if they even talk about it at all.
7.
Do we know what she鈥檚 singing about? No. But she鈥檚 in a wedding dress belting out vocals to a Celine Dion sample so there鈥檚 no way this gist doesn鈥檛 have drama. Did we mention that they keep showing flashbacks of some random guy? We need to hear this juicy story ASAP. Who鈥檚 willing to be our Mummy G.O translator?
8.
It鈥檚 hard to listen to this song and not feel a certain way. Yes, the stories are wild AF, but most of them are also true. When African China said, 鈥淲e dey happy for democracy but some people dey demo dey craze鈥, I felt it in my soul.
9.
Hilarious and super chaotic, this song is about those people who attend events they were not invited to. If you鈥檝e ever been to a Nigerian wedding, naming ceremony, birthday, or funeral, then you鈥檝e probably run into one of these event crashers who just show up for the vibes, food and souvenirs. We dare you not to laugh when you listen to the part where she鈥檚 asking for food. We see you sis, get those souvenirs!
10.
We need someone to adapt this classic into a comedy because the chaos that happens over the course of just one day still blows our minds. From his debtor dying unexpectedly to his car getting hit by Eedris Abdulkareem and Tinubu, Tony Tetuila had quite the day. Pele, dear.
