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Quiz: How Prepared Are You For The Coronavirus?

Written By:

Boyin Plumptre

Date Written:

March 17, 2020

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Where are your hands right now?

One on your face, the other on your phone

Both on your keyboard

One in front of you, the other on your phone

Both on your phone

Correct!

Wrong!

When was the last time you sanitised your electronic devices?

I can’t use my phone without wiping it down

I wipe down with antiseptic wipes every day. Twice a day if I feel like it

There is a film of dust currently sitting on my laptop screen

You wipe down your electronics with a tissue sometimes

Correct!

Wrong!

How long do you wash your hands after using the toilet?

If I pee, a couple of seconds. When I poop, a little more

I take around a minute

As quickly as possible. Can’t have everyone at work thinking you’re taking a dump

Almost as long as it takes to sing the ‘happy birthday’ song

Correct!

Wrong!

What do you think is the best way to prevent the spread of the coronavirus?

Shoot everyone that tests positive. Deadass

Closing entry to anyone looking to enter the country at this time

Social distancing for the duration of the virus incubation period and pending the time the virus is contained

Staying in your own lane. Enjoying your own vibes

Correct!

Wrong!

How did you spend last weekend?

With family

Up in the club

Locked away somewhere dark. Avoiding contact with everyone

At home alone

Correct!

Wrong!

How long can the supplies you have at home presently, last you?

One and a half weeks, give or take a litlle

You’re stocked for the month, food, petrol,cleaning supplies. You play no games

Maybe a week if you eat and flush only once a day

A day. Max two. You get hungry at night, we understand

Correct!

Wrong!

When is self-isolation important?

The moment you start to feel symptoms of the virus

The moment you have a mild cold

When you’re tired of having a heart attack every time someone coughs around you

When you need an excuse to stay away from work

Correct!

Wrong!

What is social distancing?

A dance move?

Avoiding social interactions and situations to prevent catching and the spreading the coronavirus

Staying away from friends, family, heck yourself until the virus clears

Staying away from your hating ass ex

Correct!

Wrong!

What are the reasonable next steps to take if you suspect that a known acquaintance has caught the virus?

Physically comfort them to calm them down

Pray about it

Suspected virus carriers should be locked up somewhere with the keys thrown away

Advice self-isolation and call the virus help line for assistance

Correct!

Wrong!

Do you have the coronavirus helpline saved on your phone?

I saved it twice for good measure

There’s a help line?

Yes

Wait, I think I wrote it down somewhere

Correct!

Wrong!

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About the Authors

Boyin Plumptre
Scammer-at-large. Might hug you for no reason.

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