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For many Nigerian women, wedding ceremonies aren’t just about saying “I do”. They’re a meeting point of culture, family expectations, and long-standing traditions that don’t always reflect who they are. From introduction ceremonies to aso-ebi selections, some of these traditions have been passed down for generations, often without question. But more women are starting to ask if these are things they actually want.

We spoke to 8 single women who are skipping wedding traditions that don’t align with their values.

“First of all? No introduction” — Amaka*, 34

Amaka’s priority is leaving her parents’ home after her sheltered upbringing. She’s not interested in wedding fanfare.

“I just want a registry wedding. We can skip the introduction, white wedding and all the other stuff. Thankfully, the registry is strict about crowds, so it’ll be small. I also don’t want a bridal train, and definitely don’t want to get married on a weekend. 

Marriage is the surest way for me to leave my parents’ home after growing up sheltered. When it’s time, I don’t need the ceremony, I just want to go!”

“No one is catching a bouquet at my wedding” — Bolu*, 28

Bolu is particular about skipping traditions that enforce patriarchal sentiments at her wedding.

“I have a few things. First, no bouquet tossing. It feels like a humiliation ritual for single women. I also won’t let the officiant pronounce us as “man and wife”. We’ll be announced as “husband and wife” because his status is changing too. 

Finally, my parents must walk me down the aisle together, or I will walk myself. I don’t want the symbolism of my dad ‘giving me away’ like I’m property.”

“If I kneel to my husband, he must prostrate to me” — Folake*, 29

Folake doesn’t want any tradition that will make her seem subservient.

“I’m skipping the part in Yoruba traditional weddings where they make the new wife kneel to her husband. 

I want a marriage of equals, so I won’t let my man feel like he has our families’ blessing to be my superior. If I kneel at my husband’s feet, he must prostrate at mine. If my family doesn’t agree, I’ll elope. It’s my wedding, and it should go how I want it.”

“I’m not choosing an aso-ebi, come as you are” — Kemi*, 31 

Kemi wants a wedding without the financial pressure that often falls on guests.

“I’ve been on the other side too many times; buying fabric I only use once, paying for tailoring, and still contributing money for the couple. I feel like it turns weddings into a financial obligation instead of a celebration. If you’re coming to my wedding,  I’ll pick a colour, wear whatever you like and come as you are. I don’t want anyone stressing their bank account because of me.”

“I’m not feeding 500 people I don’t know” — Biola*, 27

 Biola is keeping her guest list tight and personal.

“One thing I’m definitely skipping is the massive guest list. Weddings in my family can get so big. Before you know it, your parents are inviting their colleagues, neighbours, and people you’ve never met. I don’t want that.

If I don’t know you or you’re not a part of my life, you won’t be there. I’d rather have 50 people I love than 500 strangers eating jollof rice on my bill.”

“There’ll be no bride price payment at my wedding” — Rachel*, 29

Rachel doesn’t want her marriage to be used as a money-making venture so she’s banning dowries.

“I’m skipping bride price payment. I’ve seen too many men use it as an excuse to mistreat their wives, and I don’t want to take the risk. 

Growing up, I hated how my extended family joked that my bride price would recoup the money my parents spent on my education. I’m not a money-making scheme. No one will steal my freedom from me because he bought a few yams and livestock.”

“I’m not a performer, I won’t be dancing” — Wani*, 32

Wani doesn’t want to feel like an entertainer on her special day; she just wants to celebrate with her people.

“I won’t be dancing into the reception. I think it’s a ridiculous tradition. I’m not a dancer or a performer, there to entertain people. 

On one of the most important celebrations of my life, I want to enjoy myself without the added pressure of impressing the audience. I was a bridesmaid at a friend’s wedding, and the MC kept making her stand up to dance even though she looked tired. I sat through that entire wedding just thinking ‘It can never be me.’”

“I don’t want any bridal train wahala” — Zikora*, 30

Zikora doesn’t want a bridal train that’ll cause friction among her friends.

“I’ve been a bridesmaid before, and I’ve seen how it can quickly turn into outsized financial commitments, unspoken expectations and resentment that strain friendships. 

I don’t want anyone to feel left out because they weren’t ‘picked’. It’s not that deep to me. Everyone I love can show up as a guest, look good, and celebrate with me, no pressure.”

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