If you鈥檝e ever dated a Nigerian politician, you know the experience is a rollercoaster that leaves you questioning your life鈥檚 choices. Between the endless trips to Abuja for 鈥減arty meetings,鈥 the constant spiritual fortifications, and the stinginess that somehow vanishes in public, the cons sometimes outweigh the pros.
We spoke to seven people who have been in relationships with politicians, and let鈥檚 just say they鈥檝e been through a lot.
Lola*
They鈥檙e relentless in their pursuit of power. My husband started running for a councillor position in his early 30s as a committed PDP member. But Lagos was mostly AC at the time, and he kept losing. After contesting three times, I and other family members advised him to try a different party or redirect his resources, but he refused and stayed with PDP, losing every time. He finally switched to APC when they took over Lagos, and after some waiting, he got the ticket and is now in his second term. Thinking about it, he spent nearly 12 years chasing that seat鈥攔idiculous. This dedication is only shown in politics; it鈥檚 not like this in other areas of his life.
Hassan*
What鈥檚 really going on in Abuja? I get it鈥檚 the seat of power, but why do politicians need so many trips there? My girlfriend, a youth leader in her ward, makes at least one unplanned Abuja trip every month. If it鈥檚 not Abuja, it鈥檚 another state for a convention or meeting. I hate it because it makes planning anything as a couple impossible鈥攕he always has to check with her 鈥渓eaders鈥 first.
James*
I鈥檝e never dated a politician, but my mum is a dedicated party woman, and I wonder how my dad copes. She鈥檚 out of the house most of the time for party meetings. The only benefit is the freebies鈥攃ash gifts, foodstuffs, and ad-hoc job opportunities. During festive seasons, we also get bags of rice, gallons of oil, and sometimes even livestock. I honestly can鈥檛 remember the last time we bought foodstuffs ourselves.
Grace*
Between politicians and yahoo boys, I don鈥檛 know who鈥檚 more fetish. During election season, it鈥檚 crazy. I鈥檇 open my ex鈥檚 wardrobe to find all sorts of concoctions and odd-looking containers. His perfumes even had particles, and some alfa, pastor, or herbalist always came to deliver something. I couldn鈥檛 relax around him because, after a while, I wasn鈥檛 sure if those 鈥減rotections鈥 were for safety or harm.
Ayo*
Politicians aren鈥檛 as generous as people think. I dated a local government chairman once, and he was stingy AF. He preferred impressing outsiders over spending on those close to him. Once, someone from his family even messaged me, begging me to convince him to pay his kids鈥 school fees. Imagine that鈥攈e wasn鈥檛 even giving me money like that. I haven鈥檛 been with other politicians, but that experience was all I needed to know they aren鈥檛 all that.
Bisi*
My university boyfriend was heavily into student politics, and I鈥檝e never seen anyone with such deep trust issues and paranoia, especially around elections. If he walked past a group, he鈥檇 convince himself they were talking about him. Sometimes, he鈥檇 join their conversations to put in a good word. He even made his friends swear they wouldn鈥檛 betray him. It was exhausting. We broke up after uni, but I can only imagine the paranoia if he鈥檚 still in politics.
Patience*
They don鈥檛 take defeat well. My husband campaigned for Obanikoro in 2007, and I still remember when they declared Fashola the winner. He came home two days later and sank into a depression鈥攈e wasn鈥檛 eating, talking, or sighing constantly. I didn鈥檛 get it; he was more devastated than the actual candidate. Eventually, I called his family to come and snap him out of it.
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