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On this episode of Table Talk, we sit down with Chidi* and Oma* as they take us through their culinary quirks — from go-to meals to no-go food combos — and why food might just be the secret ingredient in their long-distance relationship.

A for Amala

Oma: I love amala and ewedu. Its deliciousness is on another level. If it’s prepared right, I can get high on it.

Chidi: Since I ate amala for the first time, I never looked back. Amala is one of the silliest reasons I moved to Ibadan.

Would you consider it on a first date?

Oma: Hell yes!

Chidi: You need to count me out, please. Let’s eat something else.

B for Budget

How much is a decent amount to spend on food monthly?

Oma: I’ll say ₦50k.

Chidi: Babe? Please, how?

Oma: You know I don’t eat too much. I’m trying to do better with my feeding, but I think that’s a good figure. It doesn’t include takeout sha. With that, we can do ₦80k.

Chidi: I think ₦100k is pretty decent if we include takeout.

Oma: Or we can make it ₦150k because of my cravings. The way I’ve been craving coconut cakes and snacks is just crazy!

Chidi: Well, do I have a choice? Anything to make you happy.

C for Cooking

What’s something you’d love to cook for each other?

Oma: It has to be ogbono. He’s talked my ears off about how the soup is the love of his life — after God and me, of course.

Chidi: I’ll make pasta.

Oma: For who, please?

Chidi: You know I’ve got a bit of proficiency with it, and I have lower chances of embarrassing myself.

Oma: When there’s pounded yam and oha soup? Pounded yam and white soup?

Chidi: Alright then. I guess it’s time to run to YouTube for recipes.

D for Dodo

Oma: Salted, semi-hard fried plantains always. Depending on my mood, it could be ripe or unripe.

Chidi: Wait, this is a discovery. Hard dodo as how? If it’s hard, how is it dodo? From the name do-do, this meal already screams, “I want a soft life.”

Oma: Babe, can you see the pictures? Listen, the only way to enjoy dodo is when it’s semi-hard.

Chidi: You’re alone on this. 

E for Egusi

Chidi: Best with pounded yam. 

Oma: Well, you know I’m not a big fan of the soup. 

Chidi: Actually, I’m with you. It makes my chest burn. 

Oma: I listen, I don’t judge.

F for Fine dining

How much is too much when you guys step out?

Oma: As long as the spending doesn’t involve either of us going broke, I think we are good.

Chidi: What she said, because I’d definitely want us to have the time of our lives, but we can’t be washing plates, please. As for the cost, it would be around ₦100k to ₦150k.

H for Home cooked meals

Oma: Cooking can be pretty stressful. I’m down for it sometimes, but I generally prefer eating out because it saves time and stress. 

Chidi: I feel a home-cooked meal is really cool, though. I see cooking as bonding time and anytime we do it together, it means a lot to me. It feels like eating before the actual meal. 

But I also subscribe to the idea of outsourcing. The ROI on cooking is too low — so much stress for ten minutes of consumption.

G for Garri

Chidi: I think it’s just there for me, and I never see it as a meal. Which one is “I drank garri and went to sleep.” Please, how did you manage to sleep?

Oma: Look at this guy! Garri is a lifesaver and consoler in times of trials and tribulations.

Do you associate it with poverty, Chidi?

Chidi: No. I just think that no matter how broke I am, garri can never be the solution because it’s really not food to me.

Oma: Nawa.

I for Indomie noodles

Oma: Chicken flavour all day, every day. 

Chidi: Onion flavour, please. That seasoned oil has a way of elevating the taste.

Oma: You’re just saying your own. It’s chicken flavour over here for life. 

J for Jollof rice

Oma: The king! President-general-among-the-rices, if there’s anything like that.

Chidi: For me, jollof rice is just jollof. Nothing more, nothing less. Bring fried rice, and the party will scatter.

Oma: Please, get him out of here.

Chidi: Continue your agenda.

K for Kitchen

Do you have a dream kitchen?

Oma: I want a kitchen with lots of sunlight, the biggest windows ever and a minimalist vibe.

Chidi: You know I just want to eat. But yes, I know you’ve talked about your dream kitchen several times, and I’ve noted it.

L for Leftovers

How do you feel about eating each other’s leftover meals?

Oma: I’d eat Chidi’s leftovers, as long as it’s not every day.

Chidi: Leftover as how? If it’s not fresh, keep it in your house, except for the leftover asun. Please, bring.

Oma: Anyway, I also draw the line at leftover noodles. 

M for Moi-Moi

Chidi: Who will pick and wash the beans? Buy it, please.

Oma: But babe, it would be fun making it together. 

Chidi: Okay. I guess the fun starts after you wash and pick the beans?

Oma: You’re not a serious person. 

N for Night snacks

Chidi: Does suya count? If it does, yes. 

Oma: Pringles. Doritos. Fandangos. White chocolate. Fruit salad.

O for Okpa

Do you have any thoughts? 

Chidi: I don’t even know what this tastes like. 

Oma: OMG. You need to taste it. I love okpa.

Chidi: I’m open to trying if you buy it for me.

Oma: Deal. 

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What meal does the LOYL deserve on Valentine’s Day? We have the best recipe suggestions at the end of this article.

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P for Pizza

A pizza date…

Chidi: I’m down for it. 

Oma: Please. When we can go to the middle of an evil forest battling what we don’t know while eating? The way we’ll fall deeper in love with each other. Babe, won’t we? The experience will bond us in a way we won’t forget. 

Chidi: Now that I know your thoughts toward me, I know what to do. 

Oma: I was just kidding. But yes, if I had to plan a food date, I’d say an open space where I can lay a mat, and we can watch the sunset while eating.

Chidi: Much better. 

Q for Quesadilla

Chidi: Never had it. I will gladly try.

Oma: Hell yeah! It’s on our list of things we need to try out. 

R for Rice at home

Chidi: There’s always rice at home once the food is 3x the last price.

Oma: I’ve got to agree with you on that.

S for Semo

Oma: I’d rather eat pounded yam, amala, fufu and maybe even eba. But Chidi thinks it’s the best swallow in the world.

Chidi: That’s because it is. Everyone needs to leave every other swallow and commit to eating semo. Only people who eat semo should go to heaven.

Oma: Who is this one?

T for Turkey

The GOAT of proteins.

Chidi: Where will you put chicken?

Oma: I don’t have a preference. Whether it’s turkey, goat…whatever…I no too get wahala.

U for Unusual pairings

What weird food combination do you like?

Oma: I love rice and okro.

Chidi: I need to cancel you.

Oma: Taste before judging. It’s so fucking good. It’s perfect…almost heavenly, I tell you. It’s gold.

Chidi: I’ll pass. But my best weird combo is spaghetti and beans.

V for…Viju Mik(?)

Chidi: Viju milk chocolate?

Oma: Viju milk (orange flavour)

Chidi: This shouldn’t exist. Come to the light — chocolate.

X for Xtra portions

When does it become gluttony?

Chidi: There’s no gluttony in my dictionary. Please, my babe is allowed to eat till she’s filled. Secret: I can eat four wraps of shawarma and stand up like nothing happened.

Oma: Even the wisest man to ever live said in Ecclesiastes 5:18-20, “I have seen what is best for people here on earth. They should eat and drink and enjoy their work, because the life God has given them on earth is short.”

Y for Yam

Chidi: I love yam, and it’s best when pounded.

Oma: I “yam” in love with my man.

Z for Zobo

Chidi: When there’s tiger nut?

Oma: And strawberry milkshake.

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