What does it mean to be great at sex? It鈥檚 not about having a long list of conquests; it鈥檚 about knowing how to have sex in a way that makes someone come apart in your arms and remember you years later.
We asked 10 Nigerians to link us with their greatest of all time (GOAT) sex partners and then got those legends to clue us in on how to have sex in a way that earns you 鈥楪OAT鈥 status on a lover鈥檚 list.
Here鈥檚 what they had to say:
1. Try dirty talk
鈥淲hen you talk dirty, you can literally feel her body react to it. It鈥檚 a great experience on both sides鈥 鈥 GOAT: George*, 27, Straight
doesn鈥檛 have to be cringey. George recommends keeping your voice low, asking questions mid-act, and being clear about what you鈥檙e doing and how it鈥檚 making you feel. 鈥淓specially if they don鈥檛 expect it, it heightens everything.鈥
Ada*, 29, met George on Twitter during the lockdown. Their online attraction simmered until restrictions lifted, and they finally met in person. Their first encounter? Unforgettable.
鈥淓very time he went down on me was mind-blowing. He kissed my thighs all the way up to my vagina, and every kiss and lick felt intentional. But the hottest part? He started talking dirty when I was close. I came almost immediately. I highly recommend it.鈥 鈥 Ada
2. Don鈥檛 be afraid to touch your partner
鈥淓xplore your partner鈥檚 body, don鈥檛 just rush in for the orgasms. 鈥 鈥 GOAT: Midun*, 27, Lesbian
People think their focus during sex should only be on obvious areas like genitals and like nipples. Midun recommends that you explore your partner鈥檚 body to find other, often unexpected, hot spots that鈥檒l increase how enjoyable the sex is.
Sarah* met Midun at a picnic in 2022, and they started an on-again, off-again relationship that Sarah can鈥檛 stop going back to.
鈥淭he emotional connection I feel with Sarah is undeniable. When we have sex, it鈥檚 never rushed. She touches me like she鈥檚 savouring every inch of me to enjoy later. Sometimes, she鈥檒l take a break from kissing my lips to my neck or the inside of my elbow, and it drives me wild.鈥 鈥 Sarah
3. Say their name to drive them crazy
鈥淪aying their name during sex helps you both stay in the moment鈥 鈥 GOAT: Michael*, 32, Straight
When Michael saw the strong reaction one of his past sex partners had when he moaned her name, he knew he had struck gold.
Adaeze* has been dating Michael for over a year. And while she鈥檚 had other sexual partners before him, she says none compare to the way he makes her feel, all because of how he says her name during sex.
鈥淗e calls my name. It sounds so basic, but during sex, it does something to me. He whispers it, moans it, groans it like I鈥檓 the only person that鈥檚 ever existed. It makes me feel wanted and seen. I鈥檝e had men do the most 鈥 dirty talk, praise kinks, even roleplay 鈥 but no one鈥檚 ever made me feel the way I do when he breathes 鈥楢daeze鈥 into my ear just before he cums.鈥 鈥 Adaeze
ALSO READ: 100 Sweet Names To Call Your Girlfriend That鈥檒l Make Her Blush
4. Choke your partner and follow it with kisses
鈥淚f you鈥檙e going to choke someone, never grab or cradle鈥 鈥 GOAT: Tayo*, 26, Straight
There鈥檚 a technique to it, though; you don’t just go in and grab your partner鈥檚 neck like a villain in a horror flick. According to Tayo, the correct way to do it is to:
- Use the palm of your hand against their throat, not your fingers.
- Apply light pressure to the sides, not the windpipe.
- Maintain eye contact and pause if they seem uncertain.
- Ensure they feel held, not hurt, by balancing intensity with softness.
- Follow a choke with a kiss to turn discomfort into pleasure.
Amaka* met Tayo at a colleague鈥檚 house party. They flirted, danced, and exchanged numbers. Weeks later, they started texting heavily. Then one evening, after watching a movie and sharing a bottle of red wine, things got heated.
鈥淚 remember him asking if he could kiss me. It was slow at first, then really intense. The kind of kiss where your toes curl. I was the one who pulled him on top of me. Clothes flew. Hands everywhere. But what stood out was when I was moaning too loud and he suddenly wrapped his hand around my neck. It wasn鈥檛 rough, just firm.
He held my gaze the whole time. Then, when I started to tremble 鈥 I was cumming 鈥 he kissed me again, deeply, still holding my neck. It was like my entire body shut down from pleasure. I came, hard. And he just held me and whispered, 鈥淵ou good?鈥 Nobody has ever made me feel that good. That moment is why I stayed longer than I should have in that situationship.鈥 鈥 Amaka
5. Let him finish in your mouth
鈥淚f you鈥檙e going down on a guy and want to blow his mind, let him finish鈥 鈥 GOAT: Victor*, 26, Gay
Victor advises keeping your mouth there until your partner finishes. Resist the urge to stop right before he orgasms.
Kenneth*鈥檚 first queer sex experience was with Victor. They started as uni coursemates, became friends, then something more. Kenneth still considers their first time the best sex of his life.
鈥淢ost people think blow jobs end just before orgasm, but that鈥檚 the best part. If you鈥檙e comfortable with it, keep going as he comes. Don鈥檛 stop unless he asks you to. Place your hands on his thighs or lower back to keep him grounded. And don鈥檛 rush to spit or wipe, let him feel held in that moment. Keep sucking even after he cums, there鈥檚 an insane sensation he feels just before his penis goes completely limp. That鈥檚 what makes it unforgettable.鈥 鈥 Kenneth
ALSO READ: How Do You Tell Your Partner The Sex Sucks? We Asked A Sex Therapist
6. Foreplay is non-negotiable
鈥60% of what will drive your partner crazy during sex doesn鈥檛 happen in bed.鈥 鈥 GOAT: *Debisi, 26, Lesbian
People often focus so much on the act of sex that they overlook the crucial buildup that makes it even more enjoyable. Debisi treats foreplay like part of the main event, not a warm-up. And she advises, “Give your babe something to look forward to. Heighten her anticipation with lingering kisses, quick touches, and longing looks.鈥
Busayo*, 28, has been dating Debisi for a year and calls it the best sex of her life. No contest.
鈥淒ebisi works remotely, and sometimes before I leave for work, she鈥檒l give me the wettest, deepest kiss and whisper in my ear, ‘We鈥檒l finish this tonight.鈥 Aside from it being hot as hell, the anticipation of what we鈥檒l do in the evening puts a pep in my step until I see her again. When we鈥檙e finally together, she kisses, licks and nuzzles me until I鈥檓 begging for more. Every moment spent with her is an experience.鈥 鈥 Busayo
7. Bring their fantasies to life
鈥淚f you鈥檝e been together for a while, throw in something new to spice things up鈥 鈥 GOAT: Ayomide*, 27, Straight
Ayomide suggests keeping sex with long-term partners fresh by trying new things. 鈥淭ell her to share one of her fantasies with you and then make it come true. You鈥檒l have her melting in your arms like ice cream.鈥
Somi*, 29, met Ayomide in a WhatsApp group during the pandemic. They started dating later that year, and Ayomide has been blowing her mind in the sheets ever since.
鈥淎fter a while, I won鈥檛 say the sex got boring, it’s more like we knew our bodies well. Then one day, he asked me to describe one of my sexual fantasies. I said I wanted to be teased mercilessly. The next time we linked up, he brought it to life 鈥 candlelight, kissing my feet, delayed orgasm. I came so many times that night. It felt like a dream.鈥 鈥 Somi
8. Toys make everything more fun
鈥淪ex toys aren鈥檛 your enemy. If you work with them, you鈥檒l drive her crazy鈥 鈥 GOAT: Demola*, 28, Straight
Demola is a big advocate for sex toys in the bedroom. He recommends that you use them to bring even more pleasure to sex. 鈥淢y ex in uni had a few sex toys. I was initially sceptical about them till I saw how a combination of my touches and the stimulation from the toys made her come undone in a way I had never seen. I have my own collection now, and I use them on every partner that allows me to. They love it.鈥
Amaka* and Demola met at a rave in 2024 and have been casual lovers since. The first time Demola used toys on her, she saw stars.
鈥淗e brought out a bag of different sex toys, sanitised them and asked me to pick the one I wanted to try. It was my first time trying a sex toy, so I chose a bullet vibrator. Demola used the vibrator on my vagina lips while eating me out and that was probably the biggest orgasm I had ever experienced at that point. I knew there was no way I wasn鈥檛 going to come back.鈥 鈥 Amaka
ALSO READ: 150+ Pick Up Lines for Girls That鈥檒l Make Her Blush
9. Don鈥檛 be afraid to go down there
鈥淒on鈥檛 just suck his dick, suck on his balls while you give him a blowjob. You should be gentle and soft.鈥 鈥 GOAT: Oyin*, 29, Straight
For a mindblowing time in bed, Oyin suggests taking your partner鈥檚 balls in your mouth and sucking softly. The scrotum contains sensitive nerve endings that will maximise your partner鈥檚 pleasure.
Tolu*, 29 and Oyin met at a house party in December 2024 and have been dating since January. Tolu鈥檚 sex life has never been better.
鈥淭he second time we linked up for sex, she went down on me and it was amazing. But when she started sucking and licking my balls while stroking me? I lost it and came. It was the most intense thing anyone had ever done to me.鈥 鈥 Tolu
10. Put pressure in the right places
鈥淧ress your palm gently on her lower belly while thrusting into her, she鈥檒l have an earth-shaking orgasm鈥 鈥 GOAT: Dele*, 30, Straight
Dele says you can increase your partner鈥檚 pleasure during sex by squeezing or putting pressure on her lower belly. 鈥淲hen I push down on her belly during sex, I know I can make her cum on demand.鈥
Funke*, 29, met Dele in 2024 through a mutual friend, and after a few months of flirting, they became lovers.
鈥淒ele is amazing in bed. The way he handles my body when we鈥檙e intimate is crazy. When he presses down on my belly, it drives me insane. It鈥檚 like all the sensation pools in my vagina and explodes into an intense orgasm. He鈥檚 amazing.鈥 鈥 Funke
So, how do you have sex like a GOAT?
It鈥檚 not about flashy moves or porn-level stamina 鈥 it鈥檚 about being present, paying attention, and knowing what actually drives your partner wild. Whether it鈥檚 through dirty talk, foreplay, pressure in the right places, or simply saying their name, the best lovers understand that sex is a shared experience.
If you鈥檝e ever wondered how to have sex in a way that leaves your name on someone鈥檚 lips long after the lights go out, now you have the blueprint, straight from the people who鈥檝e already earned the title of GOAT.
*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the respondents.
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