Sex Life is an anonymous 91大神 weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.
The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 31-year-old woman who didn鈥檛 have sex until her wedding night. She talks about how her relationship with God was why she waited till marriage, and how she married, to have sex.
Tell me about your first sexual experience
When I was 12, I had this neighbour who was a year older than me. We grew up together, so I used to go to his house daily. On one of such days, he played a CD that turned out to be porn. We watched for a bit, and then started making out. It happened three to four times over the span of a couple of months.
Did it ever progress past kissing?
It never did.
Why?
I鈥檓 a very religious Christian and waiting till marriage is my service to God. I wasn鈥檛 saving myself for a man; I was just doing what God wanted me to do.
In fact, in my university, people were taking a 鈥渃ovenant of purity鈥, but I didn鈥檛 because I thought it was unnecessary. Most of the people who were taking the covenant weren鈥檛 even serious about it. After they took the covenant, you could see them getting hot and heavy in corners. For me, waiting till marriage was about honouring God, and I knew I didn鈥檛 need a covenant to do that. I waited for the right time, but it wasn鈥檛 easy.
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Tell me about it
I tried to date only Christians, but I realised not every Christian was interested in saving themselves till marriage. When I dated those men and made out with them, I felt a little guilty, but the guilt was never overwhelming.
My relationship with God is a very loving one, so I spoke to Him a lot about the temptations I felt. I reminded myself of Christ鈥檚 work for me and how the life I live actually belongs to Him. I learnt about Jesus from the point of a Father, not just as a Lord and Master, even though He is.
So, did you stick to it?
Yes, I did! The first time I had sex was on my wedding night at 27. It almost didn鈥檛 even happen because we were both exhausted. Before then, many of my friends who had already gotten married shared stories about their wedding night with me. Some said they couldn鈥檛 have sex until months after, and I said it would not be me. I refuse!
But the wedding day came, and there was so much going on, we were so exhausted. It was so bad that we couldn鈥檛 even stay more than 30 minutes at the after-party our friends organised for us. When we got to the hotel, we just had our baths and dozed off. That鈥檚 when one strange breeze blew, and we were awake. Next thing, we were having sex.
Just like that? What was the sex like?
The sex was amazing. It was a bit painful because it was my first time, but he was gentle and soft. It made the experience incredibly intimate. He asked questions and I guided him on what worked and what didn鈥檛.
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Was waiting with him easy?
Of course not. There was even a time I had to stop going to his house for three months because the temptation was choking us. Looking at each other and spending a lot of time together was making it harder.
However, it wasn鈥檛 as bad because we wanted the same things. Unlike me, he wasn鈥檛 a virgin, but he was celibate in his last relationship and wanted to wait with me in this one. We checked each other and knew when not to go too far and when not to be alone.
I like to joke that we got married so we could have sex. We were everything without the need for marriage. He was my companion and soulmate. The only thing missing was sex. That鈥檚 why after a year and ten months, we dragged ourselves to the altar.
Love it. How鈥檚 the sex now?
I鈥檓 having so many orgasms. There鈥檚 something so special about having sex with someone you love, someone who always wants you to be satisfied. It鈥檚 magic.
Do you ever wish you didn鈥檛 wait?
Not at all! I鈥檓 a very emotional person, and sex can be very vulnerable. I wouldn鈥檛 want to share that part of myself with just anyone.
So, on a scale of 1-10, what鈥檒l you rate your Sex Life?
One million. I鈥檓 having the time of my life. I鈥檝e been having sex with the same person for four years, but it feels like magic each time. I love it.
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