(30) spent his early years in the UK for medical treatment, so returning in 2018 for a master鈥檚 felt like a fresh start in a familiar place. In this story, he shares great tips for building community and making friends through activities and social clubs, the pain of being so far away when his grandfather passed, and why he keeps putting off his return to Nigeria.

Where do you live currently, and when did you leave Nigeria?

I live in the United Kingdom (UK), currently and I am based in Manchester. I left Nigeria in August 2018.

I was quite sick as a child, so I spent some of my formative years here, getting treatment. I moved back to Nigeria when I was about five years old. After my treatment, I still had to come over once in a while, for maybe a month or two at a time, for follow-ups and to visit family.

What inspired your move in 2018?

I came to do my master’s; it was a bit of a fresh start. Part of it was because my dad was panicking a bit about my future. I was pleasantly surprised when he offered to pay for my master鈥檚, so I took the opportunity.

I think he wasn’t really sure about my career path because I was doing some writing and working in a few Nollywood and media productions here and there. He wanted a bit more structure for me and was worried about my future, so he suggested I get my master鈥檚 in something a bit more formal. I was already somewhat frustrated in Nigeria, so I thought, 鈥淲hy not?鈥�

When did you finish your master鈥檚?

I did a pre-degree programme for about a year, and then I finished my master鈥檚 in early 2021.

But you stayed in the UK after that. What’s behind that decision?

I quite like it here, to be honest. I鈥檝e built a decent community, and I like the country鈥檚 structure and organisation. I鈥檓 pretty happy here, though I do get homesick quite a lot. I鈥檓 very close to my family, particularly my dad and my brother. I miss them, but I also have some family in the UK and very good friends. Even if I move to Nigeria, I think there will still be a bit of a push and pull.

What was life like for you before you left Nigeria in 2018?

I was working as a production assistant on a few Nollywood movies, ad shoots, and things like that. I鈥檓 a big film buff, so a dream of mine at the time was to be the Nigerian equivalent of Christopher Nolan. In my head, I was going to change the game.

But I realised it was extremely tough work and I didn’t have the patience at the time to be a director. I used to be hypercritical of Nollywood, but after working on a few productions, the constraints they faced made me a bit more sympathetic. I realised it isn’t as easy as it seems from the outside. There are a lot of forces and moving pieces that make it much harder than I thought. I needed to give them more credit.

Let’s talk about life in the UK. What was your experience when you first arrived?

When I first arrived, I was a bit nervous. I had ties back in Nigeria and people I really cared about, so I knew I was going to miss them. I was a bit anxious at first, but then I started to settle. I made friends in my programme, and I already had quite a few friends from Nigeria who had moved to the UK. Honestly, I鈥檝e always been a bit of a social butterfly, so that part wasn’t hard.

What kind of activities do you get up to?

If you really get involved with social clubs, you鈥檒l easily have an exciting life in the UK. There鈥檚 also a lot of opportunity and ease to travelling across the UK and also Europe in a way we haven鈥檛 figured out in Nigeria. I鈥檝e really enjoyed exploring here. My friends even call me “waka-about.”

What tips would you give to someone looking to have fun in the UK?

There are social clubs and things people need to try out. It鈥檚 hard to make friends in adulthood, but just know there are other people also looking for community. You have to put yourself out there. You might even have to start doing things you didn’t normally do before. For example, I got into fitness, running, and hiking.

Nigerians like movies, so you can join a movie club. Some people do painting clubs. There are a ton of things to do. Parties are also great for socialisation, but you鈥檒l mostly find those in bigger cities like London, Manchester, or Birmingham, and you have to be willing to spend a bit of money.

You mentioned you love exploring Europe. What鈥檚 your favourite and least favourite country you鈥檝e visited?

My favourite was Italy. I found it so beautiful, and the weather was warm. It finally hit me how Italy makes so much of the world’s wine. You don’t really get it until you’re there and see vineyards stretching for miles. You can drive for an hour and only see vast vineyards.

My least favourite country was Amsterdam. It鈥檚 not bad, but my friends and I walked past the Red Light District, and I found it a bit off-putting. I know it鈥檚 a big tourist attraction, but I found it really strange. I was like, “Yeah, I don’t want to see this again.”

You’ve been in the UK for several years now. Do you feel you’ve hit the milestones in your plan?

I鈥檓 not close to the milestones, I won鈥檛 lie. A part of me is still thinking I need to come back to Nigeria at times. I have career and personal milestones I need to hit. Compared to what 20 or 25-year-old me thought, I鈥檓 not quite where I want to be in my career, though I鈥檓 making some strides.

I thought I鈥檇 be married by 28, with maybe a kid on the way at 30. That doesn’t quite seem to be on the cards right now, but we鈥檒l see.

Are there downsides to the move?

It depends on your situation. I鈥檒l be honest and say my family back in Nigeria is pretty comfortable. If I鈥檓 out of a job for a month or two, I can live with a family friend for short periods until I鈥檓 back on my feet. Not everybody has that luxury, and the UK can be a bit tough if you don鈥檛 have support.

Overall, I feel safer and more stable here than in Nigeria, despite being more privileged in Nigeria.

Have you been back to Nigeria since 2018?

Of course. I try to come back most Christmases. I think I鈥檝e been back for five or six so far. I didn’t make it the first year I moved in 2018, because I moved in August and coming back in December was too soon. The second time I missed it was because of the COVID-19 pandemic. The third time, my dad decided to surprise me, my brother, and my mom in the UK, so we spent it here instead of travelling back. It was a cool surprise, but after a day or two, I think we all would have preferred to be in Nigeria instead.

Do you have a favourite December experience?

My favourite one was probably 2019. It was just really fun. I just remember non-stop fun. I don’t know what was in the water that December; it was just a great time. My close friend鈥檚 wedding also added to the fun.

What are your go-to activities when you visit Nigeria?

I have a love-hate relationship with Nigerian concerts. I do enjoy certain artists’ concerts because they tend to start on time and have decent opening acts and sound. But I have such a strong beef with some Nigerian artists because they won鈥檛 come out until around 2:00 a.m. or 3:00 a.m. Aren’t you tired yourself? I find it exhausting.

I like plays, so I鈥檒l go to as many as I can. And I also love attending weddings. I enjoy raves too, although the last time I went in December, I was tired by 3:00 a.m., even though it went on for three more hours. I realised maybe I鈥檓 getting to the age where it鈥檚 time to hang it up.

Of course, I鈥檒l catch up with friends, and I really like my family a lot, so I enjoy spending time with them.

My palette has completely adapted to English food and cuisine, but I still enjoy Nigerian food. The only struggle is managing my fitness when I get back to Nigeria because I love food. I have to work out a lot to keep the weight down. In Nigeria, if I don’t wake up super early to run, it gets very humid and hot, which ruins the running experience.

Do you ever see yourself moving back to settle in Nigeria?

I honestly should have moved back about two or three years ago. I think I鈥檓 procrastinating moving back, and all my friends are tired of me saying it.

My dad wants me to work for him, but I鈥檓 not sure I want to do that, and I also have some of my own things going on. I don’t want to completely rely on him. I know I sound like a typical nepo baby who wants to do their own thing, but I really do want to have my own things going.

How do you feel about the political shift in the West and the rise in anti-immigrant sentiments?

It kind of ebbs and flows. I just wish there were more bold leadership instead of people scapegoating immigrants. There is a cost to immigration that was not calculated, like planning for assimilation and building cultural bonds. Instead, there has been an emergence of enclaves.

I won鈥檛 say I feel unsafe, but it is worrying. I feel like no one knows the direction to lead the country, and because of that, they blame immigrants. That conversation has been avoided for a long time, and anti-immigrant groups take advantage of it. If people in power were honest about mistakes made in the initial immigration policy and had a conversation about fixing it, it would be better.

But in the UK, it is still mostly rhetoric. People are not firebombing things or attacking immigrants in the streets en masse. We still have strong structural protections in place that protect you from overt racism. It鈥檚 not great, but it鈥檚 not the end of the world. I just wish for smarter leadership to get the country going.

What has been your worst experience in the UK?

When my granddad passed away in Nigeria. I just wish I were there when he passed. He was my paternal granddad, and we were really close. I thought we鈥檇 have more time to talk and see each other. That鈥檚 the cost of living in another country.

Thank God for technology; in previous generations, once you immigrated, those people were out of sight and out of mind for years. Technology has bridged the gap, but it鈥檚 not the same as being able to see someone and hug them and tell them you love them face-to-face. Not being there for his funeral made me really sad. He was a warm and funny man who really cared about me.

Sorry for your loss. What has been your best experience?

It wasn’t down to one thing, but probably 2024 and 2025 in Manchester. I was just having a blast. I had this really great friend group, and we spent all our time together. My life became like a season of Friends; we鈥檇 see each other three or four times a week. My job wasn’t too bad, I was travelling as much as I wanted, and I was in a very good mental space. I was really happy. I took my fitness seriously and started running. It felt like everything was just going right.

What are your favourite and least favourite things about the UK?

I hate the weather from September to March when it gets cold, grey, and dark. It鈥檚 expensive at times. It鈥檚 less communal; sometimes it鈥檚 nice that people mind their own business, but I miss that communal feeling in Nigeria.

My favourite thing is definitely my friends. I love my friends. I also really love the UK in the summer, from May to August. There are so many festivals, art events, and theatre. It isn’t free, and it eats into my savings, but I have great memories.

On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in the UK?

I think overall, I鈥檒l give my stay here an eight and a half out of ten. But at this moment, it鈥檚 a seven.

Some of my really close friends left Manchester, so that was heartbreak. My brother also moved back to Nigeria. We are really close, so I miss him a lot. And more money鈥攎uch more money would help. If my friends were back in town and I had more money, it would be a ten.

Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me . For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).

Raphael (29) liquidated a successful pharmacy practice in Nigeria to pursue a master鈥檚 degree in England. In this story, he talks about life in England being faster, harder and more racially hostile than he expected. He also shares how he鈥檚 now found the perfect place for a Nigerian immigrant in Scotland.

Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

I currently live in Glasgow, Scotland. I left Nigeria in January 2023.

What inspired you to leave?

Honestly, I felt I knew who was going to win the 2023 election. Before I left, I managed a pharmacy practice, but the cost of living and the cost of drugs were going up. I knew that if the ruling party won the election, things were just going to get worse, and I was right.

What was life like before you left?

Life was good, and income was steady because people will always fall sick and need medication. But for me, pharmacy is about patient care, not just business. As time went by, patients who urgently needed medication would come in and wouldn鈥檛 be able to afford the drugs I had on the shelves. It was difficult having to turn people away.

Even for me, sourcing drugs became difficult. I would pay a certain amount for a medication, and when I came back to restock a couple of months later, the supplier would say the price had doubled. It just wasn’t making financial sense anymore, so I decided to liquidate.

How did you end up going abroad?

I moved to England first on a study visa for a master’s degree. After my studies, I relocated to Scotland because I got a job there that gave me a work visa.

How did friends and family react to your decision to leave Nigeria?

My friends were happy for me because I had told most of them, even before I started applying to schools in the United Kingdom (UK), that I wanted to leave. So they were really happy for me when I got the opportunity to go. It was different from my parents. They were not really on board at first. But they eventually became supportive. I think now they鈥檙e very glad I left because of how much worse things have gotten in Nigeria. If I were still there, I don’t think I could even afford to leave now.

How did you handle the tuition and living costs?

I had paid about 70% of my fees before moving, and when I moved, it was still relatively easy to get a job. I arrived in January and got a job by mid-February. The cost of living in the UK was also lower then. I worked as a pharmacy assistant for a while and then started working in physiotherapy before joining the National Health Service (NHS).

How many years did you spend in England, and what was it like?

I spent about two and a half years in England. It wasn鈥檛 too bad, but I am quite introverted, so I don鈥檛 think I experienced everything it had to offer. Between the academic pressure and trying to stay afloat financially, I didn’t have the time to do as much as others might.

What was your social life like in England?

Social life was good. I made friends in and out of school. I was also fortunate because many of my friends from pharmacy school had already left Nigeria. Barely two weeks after I arrived, I walked into a store to do some shopping and ran into a friend from school. I knew he鈥檇 left Nigeria earlier, but I didn’t know he was in the same city. So having people like that around me really helped me adjust faster.

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Was there any hesitation when you decided to move from England to Scotland?

None at all. I was working in the National Health Service (NHS), but immigration rules in England were starting to change. I  started applying for jobs in Scotland because I found from my research that the cost of living is cheaper and the pay is marginally better. When I got a job offer with a work visa, it was a no-brainer. I packed my bags and ran. That was in July 2025.

How does life in England differ from life in Scotland?

Life in England is fast, and life in Scotland is very, very slow in comparison. Moving here was a breath of fresh air because I take things easier now. You don’t have to run around as you do in London.

Also, the immigration sentiment is different. You experience more anti-immigration sentiment and racist issues in England. Scotland, in contrast, is very welcoming. I was on a train wearing my Nigerian jersey once, and two Scottish men walked up to me to talk about Victor Osimhen. In England, you鈥檒l be in the same situation, and there鈥檒l be someone just staring at you like they’d stab you if they had a knife.

I鈥檝e seen people on social media say people shouldn鈥檛 come to the UK on a study visa. But they need to realise the UK isn鈥檛 only England. In Scotland, things are different. If you study the right thing, you鈥檒l settle easily in Scotland even if you come on a study visa. Scotland is not as competitive as England. There isn’t as much pressure, and the cost of living is cheap. If you’re looking for a UK destination, choose Scotland.

Without a strong support system, England might break you. But Scotland is slower, easier, and cheaper. I love it here.

Interesting. What is your current job?

I work as a physiotherapy assistant practitioner in critical care and the Intensive Care Unit (ICU). It鈥檚 mostly rehab work. Some days are tense, but I enjoy them. It鈥檚 given me a new perspective on patient care.

How did you switch from pharmacy to physiotherapy?

To practice as a pharmacist in the UK, you have to run a specific program. Only a few schools offer it, and there was a massive backlog. I was so intent on leaving Nigeria that I wasn’t patient enough to wait for an offer. I took an offer for a master’s programme that wasn鈥檛 in pharmacy, and that meant I couldn’t practice pharmacy immediately. I started in the NHS as a physiotherapy support worker, got some certifications, and eventually applied for my current role in Scotland.

Do you plan to return to pharmacy eventually?

Definitely. I renew my Nigerian pharmacy license every year, even though I don’t use it. I even plan to write the Canadian pharmacy exams this year. I intend to return to pharmacy practice eventually.

Have you been back to Nigeria since you left?

I haven’t. I might visit for a quick trip in the future, but I don’t see myself relocating permanently back to Nigeria for now. Maybe after Tinubu, if Nigeria’s fortunes begin to turn around.

What is your support system like in Scotland?

I have family and friends, and even my manager at work is very supportive. I work Monday to Friday, so weekends are mostly for resting and recovering before going back on Monday.

What do you do for fun in Glasgow?

As an introvert, my work colleagues usually drag me out for drinks or dinner. Sometimes I go to the movies or just stay home and play FIFA on my TV.

What were your biggest culture shocks?

Just how orderly everything is here compared to Nigeria. The cost of living was also a shock. I realised there are things here that we pay about five times the price for in Nigeria. And the minimum wage is actually enough for a person to comfortably survive on.

What has been your worst experience since moving?

Back in England, I once went out wearing just a hoodie and didn’t check the weather. It snowed all day, and I waited for my bus for four hours. By the time I got home, I almost had frostbite. It was only a few days after I arrived in the UK, and I didn’t know that a hoodie wasn’t enough protection from the snow, especially for someone coming from a hot country like Nigeria. You need to have a winter jacket.

What about your best experience?

Moving to Scotland has been a great experience for me. My time in England was crazy with constant planning and strategising. Since moving here, I can wake up and take life at my own pace. The past ten months have been really good for me.

What is your favourite thing about Scotland?

Most people are welcoming, and life feels slow-paced and relaxed. It鈥檚 perfect for someone like me.

And your least favourite?

The weather. It鈥檚 very cold.

Do you see Scotland as home for the long-term?

I鈥檒l say, for the short to medium term, Scotland is home. Whether I鈥檓 here long-term depends on how the immigration rules change.

On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in Scotland?

I鈥檇 say a nine out of ten. When the summer comes, and the weather gets better, it will be a ten.

Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me . For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).

Gerry (25) always wanted to get a master鈥檚 abroad. But about two years into Tinubu鈥檚 regime, he decided the time was now. In this story, he talks about life in Scotland鈥檚 Aberdeen, the exciting whims he鈥檚 indulged, and his plans for the future.

听听

Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

Currently, I鈥檓 in Aberdeen, Scotland. I left Nigeria in January of 2025.

What inspired you to leave Nigeria?

Honestly, for lack of a better word, I just wanted fresh air. I always knew I would get a master鈥檚 degree at some point, and with Tinubu in power now, I felt it was time to initiate my escape from the country. I decided to go abroad for my master鈥檚, and to leverage it to move to whichever country my heart deems fit after I鈥檓 done.

Are you done with your master’s now?

Technically, I鈥檓 done. I鈥檓 in the process of turning in my dissertation. My graduation is just a few weeks away.

Congratulations. Scotland isn鈥檛 a popular destination for Nigerians I鈥檝e interviewed. Why did you choose it?

I鈥檓 surprised to hear that. Being here, you see the opposite鈥擲cotland is actually a prime destination for Nigerians. There are a lot of Nigerians here. In fact, sometimes, I  only interact with Nigerians for months on end.

I grew up in Port Harcourt, then spent my last two to three years in Nigeria in Lagos. And I preferred Port Harcourt, which is significantly quieter than Lagos. So I knew I needed a city that was just as quiet, hence why I chose Aberdeen.

Is Port Harcourt your favourite Nigerian city?

It鈥檚 actually Akure. I鈥檝e been around a lot of cities in Southern Nigeria, and Akure just stands out as a very fun place. I鈥檇 describe it as a perfect retirement city. Most of the businesses there cater for retirees and make people feel as relaxed as possible.

But the thing with people in their retirement era is that there are a lot of big birthdays and burial ceremonies. So if you’re looking for a type of fun that is very Nigerian but not Lagos-centric, Akure is a good place.

That鈥檚 very interesting. But how could you tell Aberdeen would be your type of city before you arrived?

I have a couple of relatives and very close family friends who have been here for over ten years.  That was where my insight came from.

It must have been great having that support when you arrived. But what were you up to in Nigeria before you left?

I worked in marketing. My master’s is also in marketing. I came to Lagos for my National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) in 2022. After that, I got a job at a top marketing agency. I spent a little over a year there and then moved to a health tech startup in an executive position. At the same time, I had side contracts as well.

I lived what I鈥檇 describe as a very unbothered, soft life in Lagos. I wasn鈥檛 paying rent for the years I spent there, so all my income went into my personal needs. I was very independent.

Life in Lagos, as hectic as it was, was a very good career step. I knew I had to be there because that鈥檚 where all the big media and marketing work in Nigeria is done. So between 2022 and 2024, my life was basically all about work.

What was the experience like when you first arrived in Scotland?

When I landed in Aberdeen, it hit me, and I realised I may have made a big mistake. Aberdeen is really far up north on the map. It is a very cold city. So I鈥檇 arrived in London, and it wasn’t that cold, and there was no snow. Then I got on the plane to Aberdeen and slept throughout the 45-minute flight. I woke up to whiteness. Every building, the ground, everything was white with snow.

Climate-wise, they are like close cousins to Scandinavian countries. It’s similar to the weather you鈥檇 have in Norway. The mistake I鈥檇 made was that I was only wearing a sweatshirt. The first week was not a fun experience. I had to battle a horrible cold, and my body was struggling to adapt. But now I can walk out in the snow wearing just shorts.

How have you found social life in Aberdeen?

It鈥檚 not bad at all. You also don’t need a lot of money to relax here. Aberdeen is the sort of city where you can meet literally anybody if you鈥檙e the social type. There is a Nigerian club here called Club Lagos. There are enough Nigerian events that mirror the experience from back home, just in slightly higher quality. On a scale of one to ten, I鈥檒l give the social life in Aberdeen a solid nine.

What activities do you do to unwind in Aberdeen?

I like to go running and hiking on the hills here. There are lots of hills and mountains in Scotland. I鈥檝e been to the lake where the mythical Loch Ness monster supposedly is. It鈥檚 a hilly valley with a mountain range. It was weird realising there are mountains of over 2,000 feet in Scotland. I climbed one of the shorter ones, and it was a really fun hike.

Then there is the food. I think that is actually my go-to fun activity. In the last year, I think I鈥檝e tried practically 80 per cent of the restaurants here. I鈥檓 always dragging my friends to the new restaurants I want to try. They already know they don’t have a choice; once I decide we are going to a restaurant on the weekend, we are going.

What are you eating at these restaurants?

I do not like English or Scottish food. I don鈥檛 fancy it at all. I鈥檒l only eat it if my back is against the wall. They know, too, that their food is horrible, so they鈥檙e very welcoming of foreign food. There are so many Indian, Southeast Asian, Thai, Vietnamese, and Italian restaurants here. I鈥檝e even been to a Cambodian restaurant in Glasgow.

What is your favourite ethnic food?

Still Nigerian food. After that, I鈥檒l say Asian fast food.

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Have you been back to Nigeria since you left?

No, and I don’t intend to if it鈥檚 just for a visit. It鈥檚 just too much work. I鈥檒l have to take three flights to get to my father’s house in Port Harcourt. I don’t have it in me to take three flights right now. If it were possible to take just one flight, I would go easily.

I am open to moving back to Nigeria for work on a permanent basis. But not going back for fun because I don鈥檛 think there鈥檚 any fun to be had in Nigeria.

What are your plans for the future?

I鈥檓 currently in the process of looking at what the short term looks like, but I鈥檓 horrible at short-term planning. Long term, if the UK is still an option in five years, the goal would be to get Indefinite Leave to Remain (ILR) or a Global Talent visa. I鈥檇 use that as a bedrock to explore other countries, particularly Canada, for work opportunities.

What is your support system like in Aberdeen?

I have a very close-knit personal network that is surprisingly very female-driven. Most of my male friends here have moved to different cities. I also have the relatives and family friends I mentioned who have been here for decades.

How have you met new people?

I have met a bunch. A decent chunk of Nigerians live in my building; that was the first entry point. My university is also very African-centred, so I met Nigerians and Ghanaians there. As much as I鈥檓 not a social person, people are drawn to my personality, so I actually meet a lot of people. Mostly it’s through church, school, and work.

What culture shocks have you experienced so far?

“Culture shock” isn’t the right word for me because I was already conversant with Western society before leaving Nigeria. Nothing felt like a shock. But one thing that still surprises me is how everyone keeps in line while waiting for the bus. It might not be an orderly single file, but everyone knows who got to the bus stop first, and they signal to each other in that order when boarding.

Something I had to get used to quickly was that Aberdeen is a very cashless city. Everyone uses a card or Apple Pay. I arrived holding about 拢1,000 in 拢50 notes. That鈥檚 the highest denomination here, and the notes are rare to find because if you need to pay for something that much, people expect you to just make a transfer.

Have you experienced racism in Scotland?

I can鈥檛 say I have directly experienced it, but in certain situations, you feel it. For example, while working at a retail store, I noticed that all the higher-level staff were white, specifically Scottish whites. Systemically, you notice it takes a while to gain “trust” in corporate settings when you鈥檙e an immigrant.

But I think the closest thing to racism you鈥檒l see from a Scot is when they鈥檙e around English people. Scottish people generally don’t like English people; you can see the tension most when English people come to Aberdeen for a holiday in the summer.

What is your favourite and least favourite thing about Aberdeen?

My favourite thing is winter. My least favourite thing is also winter. They are great to look at, but horrible to experience.

What has been your worst experience in Scotland so far?

I haven’t really had a horrible or bad experience. The worst I can think of is my phone going off while I鈥檓 outside. But even then, I can just walk into any electrical or repair store and get it charged. If you are good at quick thinking, you won’t have many problems here. People are generally willing to help or guide you.

What has been your best experience?

There are quite a lot. I spent a weekend with a friend, seeing every major landmark in Aberdeen. We both had cameras and played a “colour game” where we looked for things of a particular colour in every region of the city and took pictures. It was a great, personalised city tour.

A runner-up would be going to Glasgow on a whim, then to Edinburgh for a concert, staying at someone’s house for dinner, and not returning home until Monday morning. That was a whole weekend across two cities in three nights.

On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in Scotland?

A solid seven out of ten. It鈥檒l be complete when I get a proper job.

Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me . For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).

James* (25) tried to hide his true self for 20 years to survive in Nigeria and get his father to fund his trip abroad. He talks about suffering two horrific assaults that almost derailed his trip, why he left a visa sponsorship job in the UK for the chance of Permanent Residency in Canada, and how he鈥檚 trying to finally live his life freely despite his father鈥檚 denial about his sexuality.

Where do you live currently, and when did you leave Nigeria?

I live in Canada now, but I left Nigeria for the UK first. I left in 2022.

What inspired that move?

I went to the UK for my master鈥檚 degree. I left after my National Youth Service. The initial plan was to travel abroad after secondary school to do my bachelor鈥檚 in Canada, but my dad’s friend scammed him.

What happened?

My dad had never travelled out before, but he wanted his kids to. We grew up in what I鈥檒l call a very middle-class family. My dad imports goods from Canada, so he has friends there. Since he didn’t know how to go about the relocation process, he relied on a friend in Canada to make the arrangements.

At the time, I didn鈥檛 really understand what was going on because I didn’t even believe I could travel abroad based on our living situation. I remember sitting him down鈥攂ecause I鈥檝e always been very direct, even as a child鈥攁nd asking, “Do you have the money?” He revealed he had been saving money for each of us to travel since we were babies.

Anyway, the guy my dad was counting on 鈥渂orrowed鈥� some money from him and ghosted. So that plan fell through. Fortunately, I had chosen to write JAMB that year even though my dad was sure I鈥檇 travel out. So after the travel plans fell through, I started university in Nigeria. I finished schooling, did my NYSC, then travelled abroad for my master鈥檚.

It seems Canada was always the dream destination. So, how did you end up in the UK first?

That part is tied to my sexuality. Growing up in Nigeria was very difficult. I was bullied a lot in school for 鈥渁cting like a girl.鈥� I already knew from a very young age that the only way I could really survive was to run away. I played the “good boy” card and followed the rules, so I was never in my dad鈥檚 bad books. I just told myself, “You need to make 鈥榝uck you鈥� money and run away from this place.”

When he brought up Canada after secondary school, it felt like a dream come true. I now knew that he could actually afford to send me abroad. When that fell through, I went into survival mode for all of university. I was just thinking that if I kept being his 鈥済ood boy,鈥� he would send me abroad, and I would finally be free. By the time I was rounding up university, I was reaching my breaking point.

I had played the good boy for so long, I was exhausted. I had low self-esteem and a lot of self-hate. I basically went into self-destruct mode. I vowed to myself that I鈥檇 get to know myself better and take care of myself after university. A key part of that was planning to relocate with or without my dad鈥檚 help. During the COVID-19 lockdown, I learned some new skills, and I got a job. But it didn鈥檛 pay enough for me to relocate yet.

During that period, I was finding myself and exploring, and people started noticing. My dad, too, noticed, got very worried and cautious, started looking at me in a certain type of way, and it caused issues between us.

I was already applying to Canadian schools, as we had planned, only for him to tell me out of the blues the plan had changed. He decided I should go to the UK instead because he has a sister who lives there, and he wanted me to stay with her.

His sister is the first child, and she is way older than her siblings.  They all fear her, including my dad, so it made sense to him that she keep an eye on me. I tried arguing, but he told me it was the UK or nothing. Canada would have been so much easier for me to start living my life freely, but I had no choice, so I had to change my plans and go to the UK.

So you applied to schools in the UK and got admission?

Yes. Funny enough, the school I chose gave me admission within 24 hours of my application. That made my dad feel even more validated, like it was God saying I should go to the UK. By that point, I didn’t really care; I just wanted to leave Nigeria. The process was seamless, but everything almost blew up before I could leave.

What happened?

As I said, during that period, I was already exploring and becoming myself. I was making some money from my job and starting to meet new people. Then I got “kitoed.”

I started chatting with a guy I met online. He said he stayed near me and we had mutuals on social media. One evening, he kept pestering me to meet him. It was around 9 p.m.; my gut told me not to go, but I had been at home for a long time and just wanted to chill.

I drove to where he directed me. It was deep inside an area with a lot of bushes. I got to an estate, and the gate man let me in. As I entered the house, they locked the door, and a bunch of guys gathered around me. It was a horrific situation. They stripped me naked, beat me, and recorded the whole thing. 

They took my phone, called my siblings and other people on my contact list to demand money. I think they collected about 鈧�300,000. My car had a tracker in it, so my brother called my dad, and my dad tracked my car to the estate. It lasted for about two hours before they let me go.

I got home and had to explain to everyone. I was trying to explain that I didn’t do anything wrong; I just thought I was meeting a friend. It was horrible because I was almost at the finish line with my visa application. My dad was furious and said I wasn’t going anywhere and should move out of his house. I was scared. I thought everything was over. Luckily, the following week, he calmed down and gave me the money for the visa application.

Sorry you had to experience that.

Thank you.

What was it like when you finally got to the UK?

I think I saw the UK through a different lens because of the things that happened before I travelled. I was in a very dark place when I arrived. In that one weekend, I had two of the worst experiences of my life.

The morning after the kito incident, my friends checked up on me. They were all worried by the calls they had received from my attackers. So a friend came by our house with another guy I know, but wasn鈥檛 close to. They said they鈥檇 come check on me later that evening.

When they came, I made food for them, even served them wine. It started at the dining table with the guy touching my leg with his foot. I didn’t think much of it at first. My friend asked if they could spend the night since it was late. I agreed, so we all stayed in my room. I couldn’t sleep because of the trauma, so I put on a TV show. The guy came onto the bed to watch with me and kept playing with my feet. Before I knew it, he was dry humping me. As he touched my injuries from the night before, flashbacks of the attack hit me. I froze, and he had his way with me.

Back-to-back horrific events in one weekend. I couldn’t make sense of it. My spirit was broken. For months, I felt like my body was no longer my own. I couldn’t even tell my friends about the second event because it felt like too much. I held it in until I got to the UK.

That鈥檚 terrible.

I didn鈥檛 arrive in the UK with any of the usual excitement. The only thing on my mind was how not to go back to Nigeria. My aunt is not the nicest person, so I didn鈥檛 expect us to get along great, but I think my attitude at the time added to our issues. When I first arrived, she took me sightseeing, and I think she expected me to act a lot more excited about being in a new country, but I couldn鈥檛 find the energy.

She was verbally abusive, too, shouting and nagging. When I finally got a job, I immediately started stashing money to leave. I called my dad and told him I needed to leave because the energy in her house was so bad. He gave his approval, and I moved out. That was the first time in months that I was happy because I was finally on my own and free.

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What job did you get?

My first job was a warehouse job in a frozen food factory. It was terrible: 12-hour shifts in the cold. But I was just happy to be out of my aunt’s house for those hours. Even when I came back, I would just pack my stuff and go to school to spend the whole day there to avoid her.

I did the warehouse job for a month and then got a care job. It was a better environment and gave me consistent shifts. I lost so much weight from the stress. I would leave for the day with just a pack of biscuits and juice that cost less than 拢1, so I could save money.

So you finished your master鈥檚 in the UK?

Yes. Once I left that house, everything started going well. I got a better job as an admin in a school that paid better. I earned 拢900 to 拢1,000 for 20 hours of work. My rent was 拢500, and bills were under 拢50, so I was saving at least 拢450. It still wasn’t enough because I knew the UK system and how immigrants are at the bottom of the pyramid. I couldn’t see myself doing care work for five years. That鈥檚 how Canada came back into the picture.

I found out about Canada鈥檚 Express Entry and Permanent Residency (PR) process and immediately started working towards that. My dad had already spent what he had and sold a property for me to go to the UK. So I reached out to my brother, and he put his rent for the following year into my account because I needed to show about 鈧�5 million as proof of funds.

I used my savings to process the documentation and the World Education Services (WES) evaluation. While everyone else was applying for jobs in the UK, I was focused on Canada.

Around the time I submitted my master鈥檚 project, I got a job offer in the UK with visa sponsorship, but I declined because I knew my points for Canada would skyrocket once my master鈥檚 degree was official. I also applied for a UK post-study visa, just in case, but I knew I wouldn’t complete it.

When did you leave for Canada?

I got my PR in 2024, months into my post-study visa. It was an adventure and a waiting game. When I got it, I cried because everything I wanted came true. I packed my load and went back to Nigeria. That was my first time back in two years. I went back to process my sister’s study visa so we could both come to Canada. I spent December in Nigeria, my sister got her visa, and in early 2025, we moved to Canada.

What was that like?

It was one of the scariest things I have ever done. I was scared because I was going to an environment where I didn’t know anybody, and I knew how lonely the first relocation was. I didn’t have a job yet, and I calculated that my savings would only last eight months. And I had my sister to take care of.

I had not applied for a job in over a year and had to start from scratch. I kept hearing stories about there being no jobs in Canada and how the companies here are very big on “Canadian experience.” Luckily, I got my job five months in.

Apart from the economic opportunities, has Canada met your expectations?

I never really had any expectations. I just wanted stability and not have to worry about going back to Nigeria. I feel I have achieved everything I wanted, and now I have to start “living,” but I don’t know what to expect. I’m like a newborn baby learning how to crawl.

What about your support system? How is life socially for you in Canada?

I wouldn’t say I have a social life yet, even though I have been here for over a year. I am still socially anxious. I have to make a conscious decision to go outside. In the UK, I never went to see my friends; they always came to me. I was living in the UK as if it were temporary. I didn’t buy appliances or furniture because I knew I wasn’t staying. Now I am working on that mentality because I am here to stay.

I started taking tennis classes to meet people, and I鈥檝e met some at work, but the walls I built up all those years for survival are still there. I can be friendly, but it takes a lot to be my friend. I am trying to make conscious decisions to go out and interact with people, to truly start living my life.

What is your plan for the near future?

I have been in my career for about seven years now, starting as an intern and working up to a senior role. But I don’t really see myself continuing in corporate. I am looking toward starting a company in a different career entirely. I have a five-year plan to move in a different direction before I turn 30. I was a very active child who did dance and drama, but I pushed that away because of the environment in Nigeria. So maybe something along those lines that allows me to explore my creative side.

I am also saving to buy my own home. I stay with my sister now, but hopefully, we will both have our own homes soon. I do not see myself getting married anytime soon.

Are you in a romantic relationship?

I have never been in a romantic relationship. I have just been in survival mode until last year. I鈥檓 starting to think I might be asexual, but that might be tied to trauma. I鈥檝e just not been able to be vulnerable with another person.

I am open to the idea of a relationship, but I never pictured myself in a marriage. I recently started looking for a therapist to navigate my pent-up anger and get in touch with my creative side that was shoved away due to bullying and homophobia. There is a lot of unpacking I need to do.

How does your father feel about your sexuality?

During the whole kito incident, he said he had suspected my sexuality for years before that, but believed it was a phase I would outgrow.

I鈥檝e always been feminine, and my dad never once asked why I was like that. It鈥檚 only outside, in school, that people would bully me and even 鈥渞eport me鈥� to him. So when he said he always knew but thought it was a phase, it clicked for me that he was just in denial.

Where would you say he is with it now?

He is still in denial, and I feel sad for him. I have achieved everything I wanted to, and now it is time to cut that rope. When he鈥檚 praying for me, he still asks God to give me a good wife and children. My mom died when I was very young. My dad became very sick for about a year from the grief, but fortunately, he survived. He didn鈥檛 remarry, and his life has been his work and his children since then. He wants us to live the life he never had. I know he is proud of me, but the next thing on his mind is marriage, and I know I cannot give him that.

When I went back in 2024, before the move to Canada, I had changed a lot. I had cornrows, painted nails, and a neck tattoo.  My dad was cool with the tattoos, but the nails ticked him off. We had a fight about it, and I told him I wasn’t coming back.

But I have so many friends in Nigeria, and I miss them so much. If I do visit, it will always be very brief, maybe two or three weeks at a time and get out of there quickly.

On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in Canada?

I鈥檒l say eight point five. I am trying to build up my savings again after spending everything to take care of myself and my sister last year. If I can get my emergency funds back to where I want them by the middle of the year, it would be a solid ten.

Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me . For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).

Iliyasu (52) spent four years in Sri Lanka getting his doctorate before returning to Nigeria in 2018. In this story, he talks about the initial culture shocks, the best and worst parts of life on the island and why he was reluctant to leave his new home when it was time to return to Nigeria.

Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

I moved to Sri Lanka in 2014, but I currently live in Taraba, Nigeria.

You鈥檙e back in Nigeria?

Yes. I travelled to study for a doctorate. After my studies, I returned to Nigeria in 2018.

Was that the first time you had left the country?

Yes, that was my first time leaving Nigeria.

What inspired you to make that move?

I wanted to have my doctoral studies outside Nigeria, so I explored foreign study opportunities. I even got accepted and was on the waiting list to study at the in South Africa. But then, I also had an option to leave for Sri Lanka because my dean, with whom I had worked earlier at the university where I taught, was from Sri Lanka. That was how I got that move.

What were you up to before you left Nigeria?

I was a lecturer. Before that, I had been in the private sector working for a supply chain company that dealt in petroleum products between 2003 and 2007. But I had this feeling that I wanted to teach. I had more money in the private sector and what you could call a more comfortable life. But it was this passion for teaching that drove me to leave that life to become a lecturer.

South Africa and Sri Lanka are sort of odd choices for Nigerians. It鈥檚 usually the UK and the US. Why were these the places you considered?

You know, they say a bird in hand is worth more than ten in the bush. In making these decisions, there鈥檚 a lot one has to consider. Also, having contacts in these countries played a big part in my decision. In South Africa, I had someone there who was already doing some groundwork to help me settle on arrival. It was similar for Sri Lanka. I was introduced to the opportunity through the dean I told you about. Having that contact was important to me.

Did you plan to move permanently, or did you always have the aim of returning to Nigeria?

No, I wasn鈥檛. It probably has something to do with my background being from the north. There鈥檚 less of a desire for immigration amongst northerners than there is in the southern parts of the country. At least that鈥檚 been my experience. All my colleagues who went abroad, even to the United Kingdom and the United States, came back. Those who stayed abroad permanently weren鈥檛 northerners.

So I wasn鈥檛 excited about moving permanently. I just wanted to experience life outside the country and then come back. It might also be because at that time in 2014, Nigeria was not as bad as it is now.

So you feel differently now?

I do to a large extent. When I started this job, I basically started from the bottom as a graduate assistant and worked my way up. But even at the start, I didn’t struggle financially. But now, even as a professor, I struggle financially. I think that shows how things have changed over time. The Nigerian dream seems to be a nightmare now due to the decline in economic power. I was much better off then as a junior staff member than I am now.

Wow. Let鈥檚 talk about Sri Lanka. What was it like?

I was like a newborn child getting to Sri Lanka. I felt that based on my background, I would settle easily because I was used to moving. Having moved from Lagos where I was born and spent my early years to the North where I went to secondary school, university, and eventually married, I was used to making friends quickly and making myself feel at home in new environments.

I had also read about Sri Lanka before getting there, and my dean and his wife told me a lot of stories. But hearing stories is not the same as being in the story yourself.

I immediately got my first culture shock at the airport. I forgot I read that they don’t drive on the same side as in Nigeria. So I put my luggage in the airport taxi, rushed to open the front door, and found a steering wheel staring at me.

There was a bit of a fear factor for me as a newcomer. But there were fellow Nigerian students on the ground, and the really tried to make me comfortable, so that really helped me overcome any fear and settle in.

I think I got used to the country after one year. By the time I was leaving in 2018, I wanted to stay longer. I had found community in church and among my Sri Lankan colleagues. My doctoral class had about fifty of us or more, with some foreigners and then local Sri Lankans. These were relationships I had built over time that made me feel very much at home in Sri Lanka.

You mentioned being married. Did your wife go with you?

I went alone. My wife was on a programme at the time. It was at a point where she couldn’t leave. Apart from that, we were constrained financially to cover ourselves and the kids, because we had four of them. So it was cost-effective for me to go alone and always connect through calls. I also visited Nigeria every year until I returned, except for 2017.

Was that difficult for both of you?

It must have been hard for her, running around alone with the kids. But we went through it, and it was something we found ways to manage. It was difficult, but I think it was worth it.

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What was life like for you in Sri Lanka?

Well, there was a bit of a language barrier. Sri Lankans speak Sinhala, and it’s the only country where that language is spoken. The second language they have is Tamil. But it鈥檚 a Commonwealth country, so quite a number of them speak English.

What鈥檚 actually shocking is that it鈥檚 the older people in the country who are more likely to be English speakers. A lot of the younger ones typically only speak Sinhala. I learned that it was due to to make Sinhala the only language in the country.

For food, they eat a lot of rice. Lucky me, rice is my best meal. The only food-related shock for me was their use of sugar. They use too much in their teas, and they add sugar to their stew and spices.

The weather is a lot like Lagos,  very humid with a lot of rain. The taxi services were very efficient, and there were air conditioners even in the buses. One discouraging thing is installing air conditioning in a room, which I tried twice. It was very, very expensive. The money to do that alone could pay your rent here in Nigeria.

The country is very organised. Electricity and water were not issues compared to Nigeria. We drank directly from the tap over there. Then the same thing with their currency; they kept it controlled. Nigeria is richer than Sri Lanka on paper, but they鈥檝e kept their currency controlled so it doesn鈥檛 fluctuate as much as ours. The situation there is just far better than it is in Nigeria.

Let’s talk about affordability. How did you afford your trip and stay?

My trip was sponsored by the . On the visa, it clearly states you cannot work. If you do, you鈥檒l be sent back home. So covering expenses was difficult; I had to depend on Nigeria almost totally and the goodwill of people to make up for it.

My supervisor also took an interest in me and got to know that we were not allowed to work. So he let me edit his work and gave me a little stipend for it to help me survive.

What were your best experiences in Sri Lanka?

There were a few.

The first one was about my studies. It was a bit difficult getting my money from Nigeria at one point because the Nigerian government stopped our cards from working. But the University of Colombo was very understanding. Some of my colleagues chickened out and went back to Nigeria, but I didn’t.

I once went to see the Dean of the Faculty of Postgraduate Studies, to check if I鈥檇 be allowed to defend my doctoral thesis even though I had not finished paying my fees due to the Nigerian situation. She鈥檚 a woman I like to describe as an “iron lady,” but I managed to find a way around this.  When I got to her office, I found out it was her birthday, and they鈥檙e a pretty big deal in Sri Lanka. I hyped her up, telling her how nice it was to hear that it was her birthday. She was so excited that I was celebrating with her. She told me, “Don’t worry, you’ll be the next person to do your defence.” And truly, they allowed me to defend before completing my fees.

The second was at a think tank called the Institute for Ethnic Studies. My supervisor told me to attend seminars there. On one of those occasions, I met an American who eventually became my landlady. She had been in Nigeria because her dad was an ambassador. As an adult, she had worked in Bayelsa state and was now working for the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) programme in Sri Lanka. We bonded over her love for food and my love for cooking. She eventually rented a space to me in their diplomatic compound.

Another one: on the day I was signing off, my supervisor gave me a gift. In Nigerian universities, lecturers don’t give you gifts; it is the other way around. But my supervisor brought out a statue of an elephant, one of . She told me, “You have lived in Sri Lanka, and you have done well. I pressed you a lot, and I thought you would run back to Nigeria.” She was impressed with my work ethic, and that was her way of appreciating me.

It really had an impact on me and how I go about interacting with my own students now. It showed me things can be different from how we normally do it in Nigeria.

There was also the church. I had the privilege to be trained by in Colombo. An elderly man I met in church persuaded me to join their training, the Calvary Seminary. It was an uphill task for me as a doctoral student, but it was a turning point.

I met quite a number of people I ordinarily would not have met. The church was sending me to do relief duty for their pastors. It afforded me the opportunity to travel around Colombo and outside, and most times it wasn’t at my own expense. I had one of the first times in my life preaching using an interpreter. Being a Black African preaching in their church was really great for me. That was one of the greatest things that happened to me.

What were your favourite things about Sri Lanka?

My favourite thing was how the system there just works. My doctorate studies finished at the right time, unlike in Nigeria, where strikes could have made it as long as 10 to 14 years. Everything in Sri Lanka is just far more organised. The people and system are fair; if you deserved something, they gave it to you.

For leisure activities, I loved the beaches. You could even go at night without feeling unsafe, unlike in Nigeria, where you might get robbed. Security there is very good. They respect their police. The police hardly carried weapons; they only had whistles, and everyone obeyed the whistles.

Sounds like a great place, but what didn鈥檛 you like?

The buses are often overcrowded. If you get on at the wrong time, you are in for it. The high humidity could make it a really bad experience. I learned to always hustle for door seats so I could easily get out when I needed to. Also, some of the few tuk-tuk (keke) drivers try to cheat foreigners by messing with the rates on their meters.

There鈥檚 also some level of racism there, whether on the bus or when meeting with people. When I arrived, I found that many of the fellow Nigerians just kept to themselves in their own little community.

But on the whole,  I had a positive experience, and I would go back if I got the chance.

So the racism did not impact your view of the country?

It鈥檚 all about your mindset. I mean, is it any different from the religious biases and tribalism we have in Nigeria? There鈥檚 a saying I like that says if you respond to every dog that barks at you, you will never get to your destination. This world is not perfect. When there is racism, you must have a way to deal with it鈥攂rush it off, move on, and focus on your goals.

You mentioned wanting to go back. Are you exploring immigration opportunities to Sri Lanka or elsewhere?

Yes, I am. Apart from Sri Lanka, I鈥檓 also looking elsewhere. I鈥檓 exploring the talent option for the UK. The US was on my list as well until their recent political shifts. But now I鈥檓 focusing on Europe, Australia, and New Zealand.

I think Sri Lanka is a great place to live. As a professor, I usually have to be a surety for people going abroad for doctoral studies, and I always encourage them to go to Sri Lanka and stay back if they get the opportunity. Many Americans and Europeans even go to Sri Lanka when they retire because it is a good place to live and get value for their money. I encourage people to explore those opportunities.

On a scale of one to ten, how happy were you in Sri Lanka?

I would say eight point five. It was a great experience.

Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me . For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).

Timilehin* (30) left Nigeria for the US with just a desire for better opportunities and no long-term plan. In this story, he shares how trading cryptocurrencies gave him the funds for his trip and how he ended up in the US Navy.

Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

Currently, I live in Atlanta in the United States. I left Nigeria in 2021.

What inspired you to leave?

A friend I went to school with inspired me, and two other things served as a trigger, or push, if you would. While we were in school, my friend always said we should find a way to leave Nigeria so we could do our master’s abroad. It stuck with me.

After we graduated, we couldn鈥檛 make that wish a reality because we couldn鈥檛 afford it and weren鈥檛 doing much. I personally couldn鈥檛 get help from the family front because we didn鈥檛 have the money: My dad was a teacher, so going to school on his salary had been a struggle. I did all sorts of jobs to make some cash, including satellite TV installations, which I took on during my National Youth Service (NYSC) year.

All the while, the idea of going abroad for my master鈥檚 had stuck with me. But the trigger for leaving was the astonishing lack of opportunities. Even as a graduate, most of us couldn鈥檛 secure jobs with our certificates. The EndSARS protests capped it all off. Seeing the government kill so many young people and deny it, made us want to get out. So when we got the opportunity to do our master’s in the US, we took it. I wasn’t married and had no children or strong attachments other than my immediate family, so it was not a difficult decision.

How did you afford the move?

Around 2018 to 2019, crypto started blowing up. Some friends and I got into cryptocurrency, buying and selling Bitcoin and doing Non-fungible Tokens (NFTs). We started getting a little money, and it was that money we used to process our exams like the Graduate Record Examination (GRE), pay application fees, and fund the move abroad.

The money was really useful because, for an average Nigerian, it can be difficult to afford application fees, which can be in the hundreds of dollars. For someone struggling to eat, it鈥檚 a lot to spend on what is basically trial and error, because the schools you apply to may not admit you.

What was it like when you arrived in the US?

It wasn鈥檛 the smoothest experience. I had to spend my first days in a hotel, and it was so expensive; I was worried I was going to end up spending all the money I鈥檇 come with. Also, there were a lot of culture shocks.

What were some of these shocks?

First was the food, which was very different from what I was used to in Nigeria. They also have too many options, making it difficult to figure out their food.

Let’s say you try to get a burger. You would expect it to be straightforward. But you鈥檒l say you want a burger and they鈥檒l ask you something like if you want cheese. Okay, you tell them to add the cheese, then they鈥檒l ask you what type. I didn鈥檛 even know there were different types of cheese back then. It just goes on like that, answering so many questions before you get your food.

Another thing is just how large the US is. It feels like most places are not close by. Everything is at least thirty minutes from where you are. Having a car is not a luxury; it鈥檚 just a necessity if you want to get anywhere. I got a bicycle that I used to ride around. But I guess I got too comfortable, and I wouldn鈥檛 lock it when I left it outside. One time, I travelled, and when I came back, it had been stolen. I found it surprising because it wasn鈥檛 even an expensive one. It cost about $70, so I didn’t expect it to be stolen.

Another shock was the school culture. All the professors are completely fine with you calling them by just their first names.

Then there鈥檚 the attitude towards hosting. In Nigeria, when a birthday celebrant invites people to a restaurant, they鈥檒l handle the bill, but here, everyone is expected to pay for themselves.

What was the settling-in process like socially?

I don’t go out a lot. I didn鈥檛 have much of a social life even in Nigeria, so I have little to compare it with. But in my daily interactions with Americans, I found that most of them think I am Black American when they first meet me, until I tell them I鈥檓 Nigerian. They find it difficult to pronounce my name, so I just tell them my name is Tim or Timmy. That鈥檚 easier for them.

How did you find education in the US compared to Nigeria?

The volume of assignments is a lot. You might do only three courses, but the amount of work, presentations, and assignments is massive. It is harder than in Nigeria, but eventually, I figured it out.

What is your support system like in the US?

I don’t really miss Nigeria in terms of friendships or my support system because most of my friends are here.  My brother is here too. He joined me a year after I arrived in 2022. I also came along with many of my friends, and many of my classmates from the university in Nigeria are here now. I have almost all my support system here鈥攑eople I鈥檝e known for about twelve years now. The only person I have left in Nigeria who would make me come around to visit is my mum.

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Have you visited Nigeria since you left?

No, I haven’t been back. I intend to go, but I haven’t found the time with the way my work is structured. Some of my friends intend to go for two months, but I feel I鈥檇 probably stay only for a week or two if I go, and then it feels like a waste of money for such a short trip.

Do you see the US as a long-term plan, or do you intend to return to Nigeria?

I am very conflicted about that. I want to go back, but then I see what is happening in Nigeria, and I am discouraged. You see the reports online of things like kidnappings or trucks falling on people. These people didn’t even do anything wrong. It鈥檚 just a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. There’s nothing they could have done differently that would have taken them out of that scenario.

So it makes me think: 鈥淒o I want to just leave my life to chance in a place where the chances are not good?鈥� It feels like in Nigeria, everything is just set up to go the wrong way. I鈥檓 hesitant to leave the US, which has a system that works, for one that doesn’t work. But I’m not ruling out the possibility of a return.

Do you like the city you live in?

Yes. Atlanta is actually my favourite city. There is a large Black community here. I鈥檝e briefly stayed in Houston, which feels exactly like you are in Nigeria because of the weather and the amount of Nigerian food, but Atlanta is a perfect blend of Nigeria and America. My least favourite was Chicago because it is extremely cold. That鈥檚 where I did my training for the Navy, and learning to swim in the Chicago cold was one of my worst experiences here.

You鈥檙e in the US Navy?

Yes. I joined the Navy last year. The process was fun at times, but also a little depressing. I didn’t know how to swim very well when I joined. I struggled to learn how to swim in the cold, which is why I said I don’t like Chicago. At the end of the day, I survived and passed.

What made you choose to join the Navy?

Well, it鈥檚 not like how it is in Nigeria. Here, joining the military is very encouraged; you get lots of benefits like tuition waivers and free education for your children. You can also get access to no-interest loans. And, if you are not a citizen, you become eligible for citizenship.

My brother joined the US Army first. But I chose the Navy because I saw it as slightly less physical than the Army.

Interesting. So you鈥檙e a US citizen now?

Yes, I am.

Did you have any longer-term plans when you left Nigeria for the US?

No, I didn’t really have a plan. It was just a case of getting in and figuring out how to go about it once I arrived. We got here and then looked for opportunities to change our status. But now, career-wise, I hope to just keep growing and hopefully, down the line, run a business that鈥檒l allow me to retire.

There has been a lot of anti-immigrant talk in the US recently. Does that make you uncomfortable?

Not really. People have a right to vote, and they voted for whoever is in power. Nothing happening right now is a surprise because this was basically the manifesto of the current administration. It鈥檚 what they campaigned on. I am not affected because I am already a citizen. But I鈥檒l just say that we are getting what was voted for.

Have you felt discriminated against due to your race or nationality?

I鈥檒l give you a recent example. I was bringing up my new 75-inch TV in the elevator, and a white man came in. He saw me with the TV and asked why I was delivering it there. He thought I was the delivery man.

Things like that happen a lot. When people here see a Black person in certain situations, they make silly assumptions like that. If they see you in an expensive car, they might assume you鈥檙e just the driver.

I told the man the TV was mine and I didn鈥檛 let it affect me personally, but I see how it could be disappointing for others who experience things like that.

What has been your worst experience in the US?

My worst experience was in Chicago when I was struggling to pass my swim qualification for the Navy. Others had graduated, and I was left behind, feeling stuck. It made me start wondering why I even came.

Other than that, the US has provided me with opportunities I never would have thought of. It is a level playing ground. The son of nobody can become somebody here.

What has been your best experience?

I鈥檝e had some really good ones. Graduating from school, getting a job, and becoming a US citizen have been really good experiences. Generally, it鈥檚 a really great feeling doing so well for myself and seeing that all my friends are doing well too.

On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in the US?

I鈥檒l say nine out of ten. I鈥檓 not saying ten because nothing is ever perfect.

Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me . For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).

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(25) is a co-founder of , a beauty-tech startup, currently living in Germany. In this story, she talks about quitting a stable job at Flutterwave to chase a tech entrepreneurship dream in Ghana, and how five months of “locking in” led to her eventually finding her tribe within Berlin鈥檚 running and tech communities.

Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

I live in Berlin. I left Nigeria for Germany in March 2025.

Was that the first time you left Nigeria?

No, it wasn鈥檛. In 2023, I moved to Ghana and lived there for a year. Then I moved back to Lagos, stayed for a few months, and finally moved to Germany, where I currently live.

What made you move to Ghana?

I had just finished university, and I got into the . I quit my job as a product manager at Flutterwave and went to Ghana for the program.

Were you working at Flutterwave while in university?

Yes, I was.

What made you take that risk of leaving a stable role for an uncertain program?

It was a huge risk because my career was going very well at Flutterwave. When I submitted my resignation, it was rejected at first, and there were counter-offers to make me stay. Honestly, I never thought I would go to Ghana to be an entrepreneur. I always wanted to work in finance at places like the Bank of America. That鈥檚 where I thought my career journey would go.

But I鈥檝e realised that I鈥檓 more excited when I don鈥檛 know what to expect. I felt like I knew what my trajectory would be at Flutterwave. It was too linear, too predictable. I needed something more.

In early 2023, my friends and I made a sort of pact that 2023 would be 鈥渙ur year of international opportunities.鈥� We even created a WhatsApp group and basically pushed ourselves to apply to as many international opportunities as possible. We went on an application spree. I found the MEST Africa application and just applied to see what more there could be.

How was the experience in Ghana?

Ghana was life-changing. There were about 50 of us from 19 different African countries in the program. I learned so much about interacting with people from different cultural backgrounds. It really changed my perspective.

Did you get to see much of Ghana outside the program?

I lived in Accra. To be honest, it was expensive, and I was just a humble student at the time, so I didn鈥檛 go out a lot. Still, I don鈥檛 think there is much to see in Accra compared to Lagos, for example. But I did like the Kwame Nkrumah Memorial Park. We also went on a trip to the Volta Region, which was super nice. We went to the mountains and did hikes. I love sports and active movement, so hiking was great.

The only things I didn鈥檛 like in Ghana were some of the food and the weather. It was actually hotter than Nigeria.

What about the people?

Ghanaians are nice. I was in a bit of a bubble with other members of the program, but the Ghanaians I did interact with were very sweet.

Did you make new friends during the program?

I met a lot of amazing people. I still have a relationship with practically everyone from the program. I can pick up my phone now and call them. So having that network is a great benefit of the program. Also, one of my co-founders at is from Ghana, and she was also in the program.

So you moved back to Lagos after Ghana. What was the plan then?

Honestly, I didn鈥檛 have a plan. At the end of the program, everyone pitches their startup with the opportunity to get a $100,000 investment. But my startup wasn鈥檛 selected, so I returned to Lagos with no job, and the stipends from the program had stopped.

I had a job with a US-based startup lined up as a buffer, but after my first month back in Nigeria, the founder ghosted everyone without paying. It was messy. And I had already used my savings to get an apartment in Lagos, so I was basically stranded.

Wow. How did you get by?

I was broke, but I didn’t want to call home because I struggle with being vulnerable like that.

If I wrote a book about my life, the chapter about those five months in Lagos will be titled “The Great Lock In.” I had no choice: either eat something or get eaten. I had to get a job, or I had to get an investment for my startup. I applied to over 200 opportunities in one month.

So how did the Germany opportunity come up?

Interestingly, at one point, I stopped applying for jobs. I am a Christian: I prayed, and God told me to stop applying, which was so weird because I had no money. So, I stopped and put all my focus into finding funding for my startup. 

Then one day, I got an email from an . They liked what I was doing, so we started the interview process. In November, I got the final acceptance email. They told me I could join the March 2025 cohort so I would have time to get my visa.

Thankfully, in January, a former colleague from Flutterwave randomly recommended me for a remote product manager role. I took that because it didn’t require much effort, and it helped me survive until I moved.

What is the status of your startup and the program now?

The program ended in October 2024. It came with some grants that helped us stay afloat for a bit, but we are currently bootstrapping, trying to raise funds.

In April 2025, we won the in Berlin, which qualified us to represent Berlin in San Francisco. Then in 鈦燨ctober, we won the 鈥淗ighest Growth Potential鈥� award at the Grace Accelerator Demo Day. In 鈦燦ovember, we won the event in Berlin which qualified us to represent Berlin in Japan. And in 鈦燜ebruary 2026, at the Pitch2Tokyo Finals in Tokyo, we won the 鈥淧eople鈥檚 Choice Award.鈥�

So, good things are happening that make me feel like I didn’t entirely mess up my life, but we still have a long way to go with fundraising.

The program brought you to Germany. But are you staying there permanently now?

I am a legal resident of Germany as a self-employed person. I will be here for a while. I鈥檓 young and open to growth, even if that means moving elsewhere eventually, but for now, Berlin is home.

What has the experience in Germany been like?

I love it. I鈥檒l speak about Berlin because that鈥檚 where I live, and I think every city in Germany is different. In my 25 years of life, Berlin is the first place I鈥檝e ever felt at home.

It felt that way basically from the moment I arrived. On the day I arrived, a friend from university connected me with someone they knew in Germany. He came and picked me up from the airport at midnight. I stayed with him and his wife for a few days, and they made me feel so welcome. That first week, I followed him to his church, Hillsong Berlin. They have this sign that reads 鈥淲elcome Home鈥�, and I felt like it was speaking to me. Two weeks later, I also joined a running club.

I鈥檝e only been here 11 months, but it feels longer because of the communities I have joined. Berlin is often labelled as the “capital of loneliness,” but I never felt lonely because I found my tribe in the running community and at church. I didn鈥檛 experience the kind of stories we often hear about people who travel abroad and are lonely and don’t have friends.

I鈥檓 now a very active part of the Berlin running community; I鈥檓 a captain in my running club. I now sing at church. I鈥檝e made friends in the Berlin tech ecosystem. I feel very supported and have great people around me.

Sounds like you鈥檙e having a great time in Berlin.

Yes. I鈥檝e also realised that location is very important. My life has changed because I no longer worry about the basic things. I鈥檓 an ambassador for ASICS, the sportstyle brand. I would not have been eligible for that opportunity if I was resident in Nigeria. Being here has opened doors that were closed just because of where I lived.

Have you been back to Nigeria since you moved to Berlin?

No. It鈥檚 not that I don鈥檛 want to visit, but when you look at the ticket prices, it makes you think twice. I鈥檓 a startup founder, not a millionaire. I want to visit when I can maximise my stay.

How did your family feel about you moving to Germany?

I鈥檓 the black sheep of the family, the rebel. My dad really wanted me to be a chartered accountant, and I even started writing the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria (ICAN) exams. But after I got the first level certification, I decided I didn鈥檛 want to do it. So I just called him and said, “Daddy, I鈥檓 sorry, but I can鈥檛 do this.” I was already working at Flutterwave then and not taking money from home, so that gave me the confidence. I also didn鈥檛 carry my parents along when I moved to Ghana.

Those acts of rebellion prepared them for the move to Germany. I think now, they just see me as someone who likes to figure things out. I prefer to figure it out and then tell them; if it doesn’t work, they never have to know about the failures.

What were the biggest culture shocks for you in Germany?

There were a lot of shocks, actually. Let鈥檚 start with the food. German food is mostly based around bread, sausages and cheese. I don鈥檛 like to cook, but I鈥檝e had to adjust and cook more than I did when I was in Accra or Lagos.

I think it鈥檚 common knowledge that Germans aren鈥檛 really communal people. But it was still a bit of a shock. Once, I saw a lady with a baby struggling to get up a staircase with the baby鈥檚 stroller. So, I went to help her, and she waved me off. I later learned that if someone hasn’t asked for help, offering it can be considered rude here.

I also used to hold the train doors open for people if I noticed they were running to catch it, expecting us to bond over the gesture, but they didn’t even care. They don鈥檛 appreciate things like that. Still, it鈥檚 about finding your own people. I know many Germans who are really cool.

I was also surprised by the amount of smoking. People smoke and vape everywhere, even middle school kids. It鈥檚 not seen as a big deal here. Also, the music. They do techno and house music with no lyrics, just beats.

I鈥檝e also had to remove my “African time” mentality. If an event is at 4:00 p.m. and I show up at 4:20 p.m., they鈥檇 have already started. They are very on time. I’ve never been to any event here that didn’t start when they said it would. Actually, there was one, but it was organised by Nigerians.

The winter was also a shock. I arrived with just a hoodie, and even though it was still spring, I was shocked by the cold that hit me. I still get chills just thinking about it.  Then winter came. People told me to get a proper jacket, but I had one I got in Paris that I thought was good enough. It wasn’t.

One day, I went for a run with thin gloves and almost lost my fingers. They were frozen, black, and swollen. It was so painful. It made me understand that you can never know more than the locals.

What has been your worst experience in Berlin?

I honestly can鈥檛 think of a really bad experience. The transport system was confusing at first. One day, I entered the wrong train four times. I was so frustrated. But I鈥檝e learned how it works now.

What has been your best experience in Berlin?

I鈥檒l say two. First, I ran my first half-marathon here. It was the beginning of winter, and it was freezing. I didn’t expect anyone to show up for me, but when I had one kilometre left, I saw people from my run club screaming my name. At the finish line, my friends from church were also waiting. It moved my heart so much.

Second, I sing at Hillsong Berlin. Most people in my run club aren’t religious, but they saw a video of me singing on Instagram and asked when I was singing next. And they came to church to watch me sing. It made me so grateful. Also, winning pitches to represent Berlin in Tokyo and being interviewed on German radio for running have been major highlights.

What is your least favourite thing about Berlin?

The winter is very grey; there is no sun. You have to take Vitamin D supplements. You learn in school that the early morning sun gives vitamin D, but it feels only theoretical. In Nigeria, where the sun is always out, you take it for granted.

I didn’t take the supplements seriously at first, and after a few months, I was actually depressed. It was such an ugly feeling that I still cannot describe properly with words. 

I went to a clinic, and they told me it was likely linked to Vitamin D deficiency. Once I started the supplements, I saw a massive difference in my mood. So yes, I don’t like that it’s always like it’s cold, dark, and grey here. That’s just not a good combination; it’s my least favourite thing about the city.

It really sounds grim. What is your favourite thing about Berlin?

It鈥檚 the people I鈥檝e met. It鈥檚 not the usual narrative for Berlin, but I鈥檝e met amazing people. I love the running culture. I think it鈥檚 really cool that people ride bicycles everywhere. I love how much people read on the trains. It鈥檚 not like Tokyo, where everyone is on their phone on the train. Seeing people read makes me feel like I鈥檓 living the “mountain life” even in the city, and I like that.

What do you do for fun?

I hang out with friends, but mostly I have fun being in my room by myself. I read books in the summer.

What are you hoping for in the near future?

My goal is to live fully. Right now, that means running, building a startup, and video editing. I鈥檓 training for my first full marathon and will be travelling as a sponsored athlete, which I still almost can鈥檛 believe.

I鈥檓 hoping my startup gets major funding this year. I also want to start a creative agency team in Berlin. I鈥檓 considering further education, too, but nothing is certain yet. I just want to be more involved in the Berlin tech and running communities.

On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in Berlin?

Nine point five. It鈥檚 not a ten because I鈥檓 currently trying to move apartments, and the Berlin housing market is not great. It鈥檚 expensive and hard to find a place, even if you have the money. Other than that, life is great.

Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me . For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).

How are Nigerians navigating romance today?

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Sandra* (28) left Nigeria for a master鈥檚 in Russia just months after the start of its war with Ukraine. In this story, she shares her experiences with school, work, and racism in Russia, and what life is like on the ground in a country at war.

Where do you live currently, and when did you leave Nigeria?

I live in Moscow, Russia, and I left Nigeria in late 2022.

What inspired you to leave?

It was mostly to study, and I just wanted to experience life outside of Nigeria. During the COVID-19 pandemic, I applied to many study opportunities, but they either offered partial scholarships or nothing at all. At the time, I didn鈥檛 have the funds. So when this fully funded Russian scholarship came along, I decided to just give it a shot. I鈥檝e now completed my master鈥檚 here, and I鈥檓 currently working on my doctorate.

What was it like arriving in Russia for the first time?

The experience was awesome initially because getting the visa was easier than I expected. The whole process was pretty much seamless. But because of the sanctions, many international airports in Russia were closed, so I couldn鈥檛 fly straight to my destination city. I had to land in Moscow and then take a local flight to my final destination.

Upon my arrival, the cold hit me smack in the face. I already knew it鈥檇 be cold in Russia, but the severity of it was quite the shock. People had already told me I would need to come with jackets, but the jackets you can buy in Nigeria don鈥檛 hold up to the cold here. It was very difficult to adjust at first. Then there was the language; it鈥檚 very difficult as a first-timer.

Do you speak Russian now?

Not fluently. I know enough to navigate my way on a day-to-day basis, but that鈥檚 all. Fortunately, I live in Moscow now, which has more English speakers, but in other cities, it is very rare to find English speakers.

How do you handle classes?

My studies are in English, but I try to learn Russian on my own. I use Duolingo and YouTube. I also try to get better by speaking with locals.

How much Russian do you need to successfully shop at a supermarket?

As a first-timer, you don鈥檛 need to speak much if you know what you want. If you are shy, you can just walk around until you find what you need. Otherwise, you can use Yandex Translator, which is the Russian version of Google Translate. You type what you want and show it to the attendant. Better yet, show them a picture because sometimes the translations aren鈥檛 accurate. Now that I鈥檝e been here a while, I can easily tell them what I want.

What was it like travelling to a country at war?

When I left Nigeria, people were asking why I was going to a place actively at war. But coming here, I鈥檝e come to understand that what the news portrays is different from the experience here. Life on the ground here is fine; you can鈥檛 even tell there鈥檚 a war going on.

You鈥檇 expect a country at war to stop letting people in, but Russia still has its scholarship applications open for foreign students. The process was stress-free and seamless for me. But they鈥檝e had to make it a bit more difficult recently because so many people are trying to come. When I arrived, you could come with a one-way ticket, but now they ask you to book a return ticket just in case.

The sanctions have made things a little harder. Because most foreign companies left, it鈥檚 harder to find work here now. But the country is doing very well. Most things we use here are built in Russia, so they don’t rely as much on imports.

Aside from the weather and language, what else did you find difficult?

So many things. In winter, when it snows, the ground is very slippery, and you have to be very careful. This is where you see how different the culture is. In Nigeria, if someone trips and falls, people rush to help. Here, they will walk past you. It feels like nobody cares about anyone else. I鈥檝e seen elderly people fall, and I鈥檝e gone to help them up, only for them to refuse. They will tell you not to worry, that they don鈥檛 need your help. It was a massive culture shock.

Then there is the food. They have staple foods like bread, rice, and potatoes, but how they cook them is different. They don鈥檛 look appetising to me. They don’t really use pepper, and the food isn’t very tasty. It took a long time for me to learn how to use their ingredients to make things like Jollof rice or spaghetti that taste like what we have back home.

Another thing was transport. In Lagos, you can stop a bus almost anywhere. Here, they have designated bus stops, and they only stop there. If you miss them, you have to wait for the next bus, which might take 20 or 30 minutes. It makes me miss Lagos sometimes.

I get that. How did you find the educational system?

I think it鈥檚 awesome. Classes started while I was still in Nigeria, so I attended virtually at first. I was waking up at 2:00 a.m. to attend 8:00 a.m. classes due to the timezone difference. By the time I arrived, it was halfway through the semester, but the lecturers were very supportive. There is no teacher-student barrier like in Nigeria. You can message your lecturers on WhatsApp or Telegram anytime.

The exams are interesting. They use a system where you pick a numbered paper鈥攍ike a raffle draw鈥攁nd you have to answer and defend whatever question is on that paper. You have to read very widely because you don鈥檛 know what you鈥檒l pick.

What does a typical day look like for you?

I work, and I study. I teach English, which is what most international students do here. My day is a triangle: work, school, back to the house. For fun, people go to clubs, but I don鈥檛 enjoy that because they mostly play Russian music. My friends and I usually go for karaoke, bowling, or tours of museums. But I am an introvert, so I鈥檓 also fine just being by myself.

Was it easy to find a job when you arrived?

No, it was difficult. I was in a different city for school when I first arrived. Outside of Moscow, they have more of the locals鈥攖he older ones who have experienced many wars. They are not really open-minded about foreigners, so they鈥檇 rather employ Russians.

It was difficult to get a job at first, but fortunately, the scholarship came with a stipend. It wasn’t much鈥攊t covers food, transport, and the hostel鈥攕o you can’t save anything. I eventually learned how to use job apps and got connections through other Nigerians.

Have you experienced racism?

Well, maybe not directly. When I just arrived, I was with someone who spoke Russian. As we walked past some people, she started exchanging words with them. She said they were calling me a 鈥渕onkey鈥� and she was cursing them back.

Some people here still believe there is no water or food in Africa, or that we don鈥檛 wear clothes. I think it鈥檚 because of how movies have portrayed Africa. Teenagers will see you on the street and start laughing, and the worst will call you the N-word.

I remember a particular day in the metro. A boy, about 13 years old, was sitting with his bag on the chair next to him. I asked him to move the bag so I could sit, and he did. Immediately I sat, the boy stood up and went to the other side of his mother. He said in English, “I’m scared.” I was surprised because he didn’t have a Russian accent, so I鈥檓 sure he was taught by a foreigner, yet he still reacted that way. His mother did not even caution him.

Is your support system mostly Nigerians?

Yes, almost all of my friends are Nigerian. I met some through school, and some I knew from back home. It helps to have them because there are days when you feel depressed. Living here is a struggle sometimes, so having friends to encourage you makes a difference.

Have you been to Nigeria since you left?

No. It is purely due to finances. By the time you look at the cost of a flight ticket, you realise you’ll be spending months of work on one trip. Going home and coming back is just too expensive for my plans right now.

Do you see yourself building a permanent future in Russia?

No, Russia is not the final destination; it is a stepping stone. I鈥檓 looking for countries where I can raise a family, and I don鈥檛 think I can do that here. The documentation rules change often, and there is always a language barrier. I鈥檇 prefer an English-speaking country like Canada.

What has been your worst experience in Russia?

Documentation and job-hunts. The documentation is a nightmare. You get an immigration card at the border that is as important as your passport. If you lose it, you are in big trouble. After graduation, you get a six-month temporary residency, then you apply for permanent residency. The process is super complicated. If one document is missing, they reject it. This is how many people end up being illegal because they just give up on the process.

In terms of work, they don’t want Black people in certain organisations, like hospitals or banks. Then some try to short-pay you. They might say you鈥檒l make 10,000 rubles for a shift and then give you 5,000, claiming you were late.

I once went to wash dishes at a restaurant. My shift was from 9 p.m. to 3 a.m. When it ended, I wanted to leave, but the lady in charge鈥攚ho was probably the same age as my youngest sibling鈥攖ried to force me to wash extra dishes. Public transport stops at 1:00 a.m., so the agreement is that the employer books a cab for you. This lady threatened not to book my cab unless I did the dishes. I felt so insulted. I cried on my way home that night.

That sounds terrible. What about your best experience?

One was just before my birthday. A stranger at the metro station walked up to me and gave me a flower. It was shocking, but it felt really good. Also, meeting my friends here has been amazing. Life without them would be very terrible.

How has your experience been with crime and security?

Security is top-notch. As a lady, you can go out at any time of the night, and you鈥檇 be safe. There are cameras everywhere. However, you鈥檙e more likely to be harassed by police. They鈥檒l just walk up and ask for your documents. It happens more to the guys. It is embarrassing and frustrating, and even if you have your legal documents, sometimes they take you to the station for no reason.

We鈥檙e having this conversation on Valentine鈥檚 Day. Didn’t you have any plans?

I didn’t even think about it until you mentioned it! I鈥檇 rather just be at home. When you are here, you have little time to rest. I spend about two hours in transit, even without traffic. Thinking of spending 4 hours in transit for a 1-hour hangout in the cold, I鈥檇 rather stay home.

How does dating in Russia compare to Nigeria?

I have dated Nigerians here, and I think it requires a bit more maturity. In Nigeria, there is an expectation that the man covers all the bills. But here, you know how hard it is to make money. So, you also have to offer support.

Dating locals is different. They are very big on gifting flowers and public displays of affection (PDA). You see it everywhere鈥攐n the bus, in the metro. Nobody cares.

One thing I鈥檝e observed is that the African guys here lie a lot. I know guys who have wives and families in Nigeria or Canada, but they tell you they are single. Later, you find out the guy is travelling home to get married. It is very common.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you in Russia?

I would say a seven. I still have to deal with all the annoying documentation and figure out my next move. With the sanctions, many foreign embassies are not in the country, so applying for a visa elsewhere is difficult. For me, Russia is just a stepping stone.

Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me . For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).

Politics affects your life every day and in so many ways. And you should have a say in who gets to decide things that affect you. Apathy only rewards bad leaders. Your silence only hurts you. So come, let your voice be heard at the second edition of The Citizen Townhall.

February 28, in Lagos, there won鈥檛 be a more important place to be. Come through and join the conversation. .

听

Kenneth* (37) left Nigeria for Scotland to pursue a Master鈥檚. In this story, he shares his experiences in Scotland, the health scare that marked his first month in the UK, and the long-distance relationship that led to a wedding three years later.

Where do you live currently, and when did you leave Nigeria?

I live in Aberdeen, Scotland. I left Nigeria in 2020. It has been about six years now.

What inspired you to move?

To be honest, I don’t think I had any big inspiration. The opportunity came in late 2019, my dad was willing to fund my master’s, so I just went with it. Maybe I just wanted a better life, but there wasn’t one specific moment where I said, “I must leave.”

What was it like arriving in Scotland?

I had arranged my accommodation before I even left Nigeria. But when I got to Aberdeen, I was stuck outside for an hour or two before my landlord showed up. I came in during the winter, and I definitely wasn鈥檛 dressed for it. It was freezing. I would later learn how to live with the weather here the hard way.

What do you mean?

After only a few weeks in Scotland, my body reacted badly to the cold. I ended up in the hospital for four days. I had to be taken by ambulance from my General Practitioner’s (GP) practice to a bigger hospital in the city. That was the lowest point of my life here. Being in a new country for less than a month and having such a scary health emergency.

Sorry you went through that. How was the healthcare experience?

It was scary at first. In Nigeria, you can just walk into a hospital and be attended to, but here, you have to call a GP first. I remember I had to almost crawl to the GP at 6:30 a.m. because I was so ill. They didn’t open until 7:00 a.m. They really respect their opening and closing times here.

But once I actually got some attention, the treatment was top-notch. Even though I was sick, I felt like they were doing their best. When the ambulance took me to the main hospital, I got the best treatment ever. It鈥檚 the kind of quality you would pay an arm and a leg for back home.

Glad you got the care you needed. How was settling in socially?

I arrived just before the COVID-19 pandemic. So just months after, everyone was locked inside. There was really no room for social activities. The only friends I had then were the ones I made right before the lockdown, and most of them were people I already knew from back home.

I鈥檝e always been an indoor person, so coming to Scotland and not having a huge social life wasn’t a shock. Even now, my life here is very similar to my life in Nigeria. It鈥檚 just work, church, and the occasional friend coming over.

What was your life like in Nigeria?

I lived in Ibadan most of my life before work took me to Lagos in the last year before I left the country. Life in Lagos was hectic, and getting stuck in traffic daily was a major stressor for me. My life was basically just work, work, work. Then on Sundays, I鈥檇 go to church, and if I was bored, I鈥檇 travel back to Ibadan to see my family.

Did you feel like you were leaving anything significant behind?

Not really. I knew I wouldn鈥檛 see my family physically, but technology makes everything easy. They are just a phone or video call away. I think I was just looking forward to the next phase, and I believed I would find it here in Scotland.

Have you been back to Nigeria?

Yes, multiple times.

What was it like going back?

The very first time I went back, in 2023, the heat did a number on me. The hot weather was just too much for me, so I didn鈥檛 enjoy the first few days. I think I later got used to it. In 2024, I came back for my engagement. And in 2025, for my wedding.

Congratulations. How did you two meet?

We met online while I was in Scotland. We were long-distance during our courtship, but she did come here to visit me a couple of times. After our wedding, she moved here and lives with me now.

Your relationship was long-distance until you got married. How did you manage that?

It was hard. We spent a lot of time on FaceTime. We both work remotely, so we would just leave our FaceTime on while we worked. It was our way of being together through the day. We were separated by distance, but technology brought us closer. We only met twice in person鈥攐nce in 2023 and once in 2024鈥攂efore we got married.

How were you sure she was the one without being together physically?

I just liked her character. When she visited in 2023, we met for the first time, and it just clicked. We are compatible, and we always find a common ground to sort out our issues.

Love that for you! Are you done with your Master’s? And what are you up to now?

Yes, I鈥檓 done. I still live in Aberdeen. I鈥檝e just never had a reason to move. I work now, and I鈥檓 currently on a Skilled Worker visa. I think getting this job was actually God ordering my steps. I didn’t even apply. They approached me on LinkedIn.

Do you see yourself coming back to Nigeria permanently at some point?

That is the dream, but only if Nigeria can get its act together. There is a feeling Nigeria has that you can’t find here, and maybe not anywhere else. Ideally, I want to get my permanent residency here, then I鈥檒l love to live in Nigeria during the winter months and come back here for the rest of the year.

Does Aberdeen feel like home now?

Yes, it does. Especially with my wife here. Everything I need is within reach. It鈥檚 my second home.

What is your support system like?

It鈥檚 my wife, the church, and friends I went to university with here. But they鈥檙e basically all fellow Nigerians. Aberdeen actually has a huge Nigerian population, the largest in Scotland. Outside of London, I think this is probably one of the places where you see the most Black people.

Sounds like a great place for a Nigerian. But have you ever felt discriminated against?

I haven’t had any “in your face” discrimination. It鈥檚 always the subtle things. Like being on a bus and having an empty seat beside you, but a white person refuses to sit, even if it’s the only one left. Or walking down a path and seeing someone cross to the other side of the road so they don鈥檛 walk near you.

I remember once when it was raining, and I was the only one in the bus shelter. The other people chose to stay outside in the rain rather than come into the shelter with me. It鈥檚 always subtle things like that in Scotland; the discrimination isn’t loud.

Does the current anti-immigrant talk in UK politics bother you?

Yes, it does. Immigrants have become everyone鈥檚 favourite punching bags. Policies are changing, and they are trying to extend the number of years you need for permanent residency. It makes you feel a little unwelcome, especially when you鈥檝e put in years of work without asking the government for a penny.

It creates uncertainty. I like certainty before I plan my life, so this rhetoric makes it hard to fully commit to the country and plan for the future. There are some things my wife and I have talked about doing, but put on hold because we want to watch how things play out. You don鈥檛 want to invest in a place, only for them to tell you to pack your things and go back to your country.

The laws are changing every day, and companies are becoming sceptical about sponsoring visas. The starting salary requirements for visa sponsorship are higher now, too. It鈥檚 why I tell people it was easier back when I came in 2020. But now, unless you have a full scholarship or you plan to go back to Nigeria after studying, it’s a very stressful experience trying to immigrate through the study route.

Interesting. What was your biggest culture shock when you first arrived?

Spending coins. You know we no longer use coins in Nigeria, so I was surprised to see them here. Having to carry them and sort them out when you want to pay for something was quite the experience. It eventually made me go completely cashless.

On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in Scotland?

I鈥檒l say seven. Because I don鈥檛 have my permanent residency yet. I still have to “beg” for visas. Once I have that residency and I can walk in and out as I like, it鈥檒l be a ten. Overall, Scotland has been good to me; moving here changed my life for the better.

Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me . For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).

Politics affects your life every day and in so many ways. And you should have a say in who gets to decide things that affect you. Apathy only rewards bad leaders. Your silence only hurts you. So come, let your voice be heard at the second edition of The Citizen Townhall.

February 28, in Lagos, there won鈥檛 be a more important place to be. Come through and join the conversation. .

Emeka (30) was driven to leave Nigeria by the failed promises of the Buhari presidency. In this story, he talks about his experiences in the U.S., having to watch his father鈥檚 burial virtually and the difficult process of joining the U.S. Navy. 

The views expressed are those of the subject and do not reflect the official policy or position of the U.S. Navy, Department of War or the U.S. Government.

Where do you live currently, and when exactly did you move?

I live in California, United States (US). I have been here since 2019.

What inspired you to leave Nigeria?

A few things, but it was mainly Buhari鈥檚 presidency. I was part of those who were deceived that change was coming. I was in university during the , and it felt like Nigerians had finally had enough of bad governance, and this was the man to change things. But I very quickly realised my support for him was a big mistake.

I remember one thing that was really frustrating before I left was the electricity bills. Around 2018, I was earning about 鈧�150,000, which was good money for a young man back then. But some months, around 40% of my salary went towards electricity bills alone. It felt like I was working, but I wasn’t seeing what my money was being used for. As soon as I got the chance to leave, I did.

Was that your first time leaving the country?

No. As part of the , I went to a few West African countries. I was shocked by how organised life was in those places. These countries are smaller and have fewer resources than Nigeria, but things were just working. I interacted with people from Liberia and Kenya and realised how far behind we were. It was embarrassing.

During Liberia鈥檚 civil war, Nigeria like a “big brother” to help them out, yet things there were much better when I visited than in Nigeria. I came back knowing I definitely needed to leave.

Did you move to the US to study or work?

It was to study. At that time, I thought I wanted to be a software engineer like my sisters, but I realised I didn’t enjoy coding. I did cybersecurity classes at , but it was boring to me. I decided to focus on marketing since that was what I liked. I doubled down on product marketing, which is what I do now.

How did you fund your trip?

My mum. She is my biggest hero, my pride, and my joy. She saved up and used her network to get us here. I owe her a lot.  It鈥檚 why I don’t believe in “,” because it takes a village to raise a child. My focus is on trying and praying to have the capability to take care of my family as they did for me.

What was it like when you first arrived in the US?

The weather was a big shock. I moved to New York first, and it would get very cold. In Nigeria, you don’t check the weather before you pick what to wear. But here, you have to, and you must dress accordingly. I actually really miss the Nigerian weather.

I was also shocked by the amenities, like the constant light. Even during intense snowstorms, the lights didn’t blink. If you tell someone here that you are excited about constant power, they won’t understand.

I couldn’t wrap my head around how they passed gas and water through pipelines directly into houses. Back in Nigeria, I once got into an argument on social media over whose responsibility it was to dig boreholes for homes. I said it was the landlord鈥檚, one guy said it鈥檚 the government鈥檚 job to provide water to all households. I couldn鈥檛 believe it. I really argued. But that鈥檚 exactly how it is here. Seeing how everything works made me ashamed of how much Nigeria had affected my mindset.

How did you cope socially?

I struggled at first. I think I only made one friend in my first year. But about a year after moving, I met a friend from secondary school who was also in New York. She helped me realise I needed a community to help me avoid mistakes. I became more intentional about connecting with people. You cannot do life in the US without a community.

There are Nigerian-US communities like and WhatsApp that help people moving to new cities. So, if you want to, you can find people to connect with and build your own community. 

Have you been back to Nigeria since you left?

No. It has just worked out that I鈥檝e never had the need and opportunity to travel back. Every year, there has always been something that keeps me here鈥攚ork, school, or my service in the military.

Now, my mum and sisters are all here too, so I don鈥檛 really have a reason. But I am planning to visit soon just to see how much or how little things have changed. I think I鈥檒l experience a different type of culture shock.

You鈥檙e in the US military?

Yes. Aside from my tech career, I serve in the U.S Navy. Joining the US military feels like a badge of honour. It鈥檚 amazing to be a Black man from Nigeria, be given so many resources in the U.S., and to be able to give back by way of serving in the most powerful military force in the world. I knew when I came here that I didn’t want to be just another average immigrant; I wanted to distinguish myself. Joining the US Navy has done exactly that.

But it wasn鈥檛 easy. Whatever you see in the movies is like 2% of reality. Boot camp was intense. I had to learn to swim like a fish in the winter. By the end, I had lost 12 pounds. I really pushed myself beyond my physical and mental limits.

For the graduation, my family all flew in. Marching in front of them during the parade was a beautiful moment.

So, is the US home for you now?

Yes. My family is here, I am schooling here, I proudly serve in the US Navy, and I see myself raising my own family here.

I don’t see myself moving back to Nigeria permanently. Nigeria has taken so much from me, from all of us. You could be a billionaire, and a truck will fall on you at Ojuelegba bridge, and all your money won’t matter because there are no emergency services to respond in time.

Have you felt discriminated against in the US?

Not to my face. There might have been microaggressions, but I don’t dwell on things like that. I don’t like positioning myself as a victim. Honestly, I think an average Nigerian will experience more tribalism back home than they will experience racism in the US.

On social media, you will see people telling you to go back to where you came from, even if you were born, raised, and pay taxes in Lagos. The wasn’t even born in the US, yet he holds office. That tells you everything.

What has been your worst experience in the US?

It was my father鈥檚 passing. He died in Nigeria during the COVID-19 pandemic, so I couldn鈥檛 even travel back. It was hard being so far away while it all happened. I didn’t even get to talk to him before he died, and I had to watch his burial on Zoom.

So sorry you had to go through that. What about your best experience?

Watching my sister get married. I walked her down the aisle because my dad was gone. I watched her grow up, helped her with homework, so seeing her get married made me feel like a father. It felt like a culmination of so many things. Definitely a high point for me.

What about your love life?

I am currently single. I鈥檓 a really family-oriented person, but I鈥檓 not ready to commit to a serious relationship at the moment. Right now, I鈥檓 building a startup with my long-time friend. My Master’s, and the U.S. Navy also demands so much of my time. I don鈥檛 want to be in a situation where I鈥檓 neglecting my family responsibilities because of the goals I鈥檓 chasing.

That makes sense. Can you compare dating in Nigeria and the US?

In my experience, dating in the US is better than in Nigeria. In Nigeria, a man often leads with money. Here in Silicon Valley, if you try to approach things that way, the women here will think you鈥檙e trying to insult them. They鈥檒l ask you if you think they鈥檙e poor or orphans. It really changes your perspective on what a relationship should be.

On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in the US?

Ten. I feel like I have everything I need here. The only thing I miss from Nigeria is the sense of community. As a kid in Nigeria, you could be walking home, get picked up by a neighbour driving by. That doesn鈥檛 happen here. But otherwise, life is good, and it keeps getting better.

Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me . For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).

Politics affects your life everyday and in so many ways. And you should have a say in who gets to decide things that affect you. At the second edition of The Citizen Townhall, we鈥檒l be answering the big question: Who gets to shape our lives and what can we do about it?

February 28, in Lagos, there won鈥檛 be a more important place to be. Come through and join the conversation. .