What would Big Brother Naija (BBNaija) be without a few chaotic ships to keep us invested? Like other seasons, the Show Ya Sef season has given us sweet friendships, budding romances, and complicated situationships. And we鈥檝e been paying attention.

Here are the pairs currently keeping us entertained.

Oyin & Flora

These two have one of the strongest bonds in the house. They鈥檝e consistently had each other鈥檚 backs and shown up for each other. Unlike some of the house鈥檚 more chaotic relationships, their friendship has stood the test of time. Safe to say, Oyin and Flora are giving the rest of the pairs a run for their money.

Yusuf & Bells聽

YuBells is one of the most loved ships in the house, but they鈥檝e kept fans guessing, primarily because Yusuf seems unsure about where they stand despite their frequent genital meet-and-greet. But underneath all the drama, they make a cute pair. It’s only been days since their last fallout and there’s already a video with them under the sheets last night. Let鈥檚 hope they make it to the end of the season without breaking up again.

Ricky & Sheba聽

Their slow burn chemistry is interesting to watch. But Ricky telling Sheba he鈥檚 married, then later telling Yusuf that it鈥檚 all part of his strategy, has left us wondering what exactly he鈥檚 playing at. But we鈥檝e seen Sheba gradually warming up to him over the past few days, so we鈥檒l have to wait and see if they develop into a more solid ship as the season goes on.

Chimsom & Bluethopia

They鈥檝e gone from constantly fighting and bickering, only to circle back as a couple again. It鈥檚 hard to tell if there鈥檚 an actual ship here or if they鈥檙e simply being kept together by circumstances. Either way, we鈥檙e not convinced this one is making it to the end of the season.

Tram & Temi Nkem

With the way they keep having intimate moments but avoid defining what they are, it鈥檚 not a strong ship. Their dynamic feels more like a friendship with a sprinkle of under-the-sheet activities. From the outside, it doesn鈥檛 seem like they genuinely care for each other romantically and may be more focused on creating content for the show.

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Losing someone who struggled with their mental health can leave the people they loved with grief, anger, guilt and questions they may never get answers to. We spoke to Nigerians who lost loved ones after years of struggling with their mental health about the memories they hold on to and how they鈥檝e learnt to live with the loss.

鈥淚 was angry that he left me to deal with everything alone鈥� 鈥� Hannah*, 44

I lost my husband to suicide in 2016 after a failed business deal wrecked our finances. He borrowed millions of naira to invest in the business , but he was scammed and lost everything. Things became even harder when he started having health problems. We completely hit rock bottom. 

I kept doing my best to keep us afloat and coast through the tough times.  Then, one day, I came home and found my husband dead. He had taken his own life.

His death was difficult enough, but some of his relatives refused to believe that he had died by suicide. They accused me of poisoning him, which meant I had to deal with their suspicions while grieving my husband. I was also angry with him. I felt like he left me with even more problems.  But over the years, I鈥檝e forgiven him. I鈥檝e accepted  that he must have been in a very difficult place to make that decision.

鈥淚 wish I had stayed close to her鈥� 鈥� Zainab*, 26

Lat year, I lost my cousin to drug use and mental health issues. We used to be very close, but grew apart聽 as she became more and more erratic. She would call me for money and often wouldn鈥檛 return it. Eventually, my mum warned me to stay away from her.

She later went to rehab and was trying to get better, but she eventually relapsed, and took her own life. Her parents and siblings did everything they could to support her, but she didn鈥檛 have many people outside her family. I wish I had chosen to see the good in her and stayed close. 

鈥淗is death changed the way I see life鈥� 鈥� Adeleke*, 28

I lost a friend from work in 2023. Life wasn鈥檛 fair to him. His mum and only sibling died in a car accident while returning from his convocation, and he had to support himself afterwards. I knew he was struggling. He sometimes had mood swings and would withdraw from people, but I always tried to be there for him.

We saw each other at work on the Friday before he died. He didn鈥檛 show up on Monday, and when I texted him, he didn鈥檛 respond. By Tuesday, I was worried and tried to find out what had happened. I eventually learnt that his neighbours had found him unconscious in his apartment on Sunday. He was in critical condition in the hospital for some time, but he didn鈥檛 make it.

His death was painful because he had already been through so much. But losing him also changed my perspective on life. I now remind myself to make time for the things that make me happy.

鈥淚 still wonder if I could have done more鈥� 鈥� David* 29

I lost a friend to suicide in 2021. He had struggled with his mental health and his sexuality for years, especially after his sibling outed him to his family. His dad punished him severely, and he was also frustrated by repeated visa rejections while trying to leave the country.

A few weeks before he died, I noticed he had stopped posting on his story as often. I checked on him, and he told me he was okay. I believed him and didn鈥檛 push further.

When I heard the news, I was in shock. His family didn鈥檛 want people to know that he had taken his own life, and I only found out after speaking to his sister. I kept thinking about our last conversation and wondering if things would have been different if I had followed up or pushed for a deeper conversation. I still feel guilty about that.

If you need support, someone to talk to, or immediate help, these Nigerian mental health resources may help.

Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative (MANI) 鈥� Youth-focused mental health support

| Crisis support: +234 916 841 7413

She Writes Woman 鈥� Free teletherapy & crisis helpline

| +234 800 800 2000

SURPIN 鈥� Suicide prevention & crisis intervention

| 080 0078 7746

Asido Foundation 鈥� Emotional wellness assessments & 24/7 Helpline

| +234 902 808 0416

National Emergency Helpline: 112

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鈥淭here鈥檚 no way you don鈥檛 also have a problem鈥�

He said this even after doctors confirmed that his infertility was why we were childless. 鈥� Bunmi*, 38

鈥淲hat did I do that your father hasn鈥檛 done?鈥�

He said, when I confronted him about repeatedly cheating on me 鈥� Queen*, 41

鈥淵our money is ours, but mine is mine. That鈥檚 your headache.鈥�

She said, when I was struggling with debt and asked for her support. 鈥� Umar*, 39

鈥淚 haven鈥檛 made it because of you.鈥�

He screamed at me and the kids after I reported his betting addiction to his family. 鈥� Joy* 34

鈥淚 should leave my friends for a man I met which day?鈥�

She texted this when I complained about her not spending time with me shortly after our engagement. In the end, she cheated with one of them. 鈥� James*, 30

鈥淚 will definitely pick my mum.鈥�

My husband didn鈥檛 hesitate during a games night with other couples, when asked which of us he would save first. 鈥� Faiza*, 32

鈥淲hen I asked for a wife, God鈥檚 plan for me turned out to be 鈥榳hat I ordered versus what I got.鈥欌��

He makes such 鈥榡okes鈥� while counseling younger people. 鈥� Mary*, 46

鈥淲hy can鈥檛 he just pass away and let everybody rest?鈥�

She said, when we heard my only brother鈥檚 brain tumour grew back shortly after surgery. 鈥� Shola*, 37

鈥淚鈥檓 sure it鈥檒l be disgusting. I don鈥檛 want to be there.鈥�

I was going into labour, but he didn鈥檛 want to 鈥渢hrow up鈥�. 鈥� Esther*, 27

鈥淚 have her mumu button. She won鈥檛 leave.鈥�

I overheard him telling his friends this after I forgave him for being physically abusive and he begged me to stay. 鈥� Favour* 29

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Elizabeth* (29) has always wanted marriage and a family of her own. But two difficult relationships have made that journey more complicated than she expected. After walking away from a long-term relationship and later calling off a wedding just weeks before the big day, she鈥檚 starting over while still holding on to the hope of finding love. 

In this episode of On the Streets, she shares how the desire to settle down almost pushed her into a bad marriage.

What鈥檚 your current relationship status and how do you feel about it?

I鈥檓 single and searching. I鈥檝e had some difficult experiences that made me extra cautious. But I hope to find a compatible partner and get married before I turn 31. 

How did you get to this point? Walk me through your dating history

My first serious relationship was in 2019, when I was in my third year at university. Mike* approached me while we were both shopping at the school market. Before we parted ways, he paid for what I was buying and collected my number.

A few weeks into our friendship, he asked me out. I wasn鈥檛 interested in casual dating, so I told him from the beginning that I wanted a relationship with marriage in view. He agreed.

What was the relationship like?

It was okay; mostly because I overlooked a lot of his shortcomings. He was very secretive and didn鈥檛 see the need to involve me  as his girlfriend. I often had to rely on social media to find out things about his personal life, including details about his family. He rarely opened up, so the only people in his life I really knew were his friends.

And I didn鈥檛 like them. They made it clear that they preferred his ex to me. He would sometimes speak to me disrespectfully in front of them, too. But I tolerated it all because I assumed these things were just part of dating.

Hmm

Things became harder to ignore after we graduated  in 2021. I asked Mike his plans for the relationship, expecting him to bring up marriage. Instead, he said his views had changed. He no longer believed in marriage and wanted to focus on making money. He suggested that, in a few years, we could move in together without getting married. 

He claimed his older brother鈥檚 traumatic divorce had changed the way he saw marriage. But I couldn鈥檛 accept that. He knew my history. My parents separated when I was younger after my mum discovered that my dad had another family. She refused to divorce him, so he abandoned us. Growing up in a dysfunctional home made me want a normal family of my own. So when Mike said he didn鈥檛 want marriage, I knew we couldn鈥檛 continue.

His decision led to our breakup, but I couldn鈥檛 cope with it. We were apart for less than four days before I suggested that we find a compromise and get back together.

So did he eventually change his stance on marriage?

I hoped that with time I could make him see things from my point of view, but his behaviour only got worse. He grew distant and nonchalant. Sometimes, he鈥檇 ghost me for weeks. Whenever I complained, he鈥檇 flare up and act as though I was irritating him.

Eventually, I found out he was seeing another woman. When I confronted him, he said this was part of why he didn鈥檛 want marriage. He claimed he didn鈥檛 like commitment to one person.

Wait. What?

What made it worse was that he expected me to remain committed to him while he was free to see other people.

I wasn鈥檛 going to accept that. That was when I walked away for good. He seemed completely unaffected by my decision.

How did you move on from that heartbreak?

It wasn鈥檛 easy. We鈥檇 been together for more than two years. I鈥檇 always imagined I would be married by 25. But I had to start from scratch at 26.

Things were also difficult financially. After school, my mum expected me to contribute to the family. I landed a teaching job at a church member鈥檚 school, but the salary was barely enough. B I didn鈥檛 even have the time to meet new people.

But that changed when Joshua* moved into our compound.

Tell me about Joshua. How did you two get close?

He moved into an apartment on the upper floor of our house in early 2024.  At first, we barely interacted beyond pleasantries. Then, a few months later, he complimented my outfit and asked for my number.

I didn鈥檛 have many friends at the time, so I enjoyed having someone to talk to. He was a good listener, and I gradually opened up to him. One day, I went to his place and, despite not planning for it to happen, we hooked up.

He wasn鈥檛 someone I would normally have considered dating. He mostly smoked and partied, and I wasn鈥檛 sure what he was doing with his life. Still, we started dating. 

What made you take him seriously despite your reservations?

He was persistent, and eventually I thought, Why not? I鈥檇 been single for a while, so I decided to give it a chance.

I also became less worried about his finances after I learnt that his parents, who lived in the UK, supported him financially. He was very friendly and extended his generosity to my family, too. We never had to ask him for things. He鈥檇 simply give us what we needed, and that made my mum warm up to him.

Over time, I became more comfortable dating him, especially because my mum encouraged the relationship.

I see. Was this relationship better than your first?

In many ways, yes. He was an open book, unlike Mike. As soon as we became official, he introduced me to his parents. We鈥檇 speak to them on video calls and they approved  of our union.  Still, he had his imperfect sides. He had bad mood swings when he got high and became aggressive. At first, it was mostly shouting. My mum would tell me that I needed to understand that it was his temperament.

Then, in our third month together, he slapped me during an argument and pushed me out of his apartment.

What? Did you try to leave? 

I took it in stride. He was very apologetic afterwards and blamed it on the drugs. He also told me that he needed me and that I was one of the only good things in his life. That got to me.

I started believing that if I could help him stop using drugs, he鈥檇 become a better person. I felt I owed him a duty of care, and he promised to change.

Did he actually improve after that?

There was some progress. He curtailed his smoking,  started going to church and even proposed on my birthday in March 2025 to show his seriousness.

I said yes, even though I had doubts about marrying him. I鈥檇 caught him using drugs and smoking again, and he wasn鈥檛 interested in holding down a job.

I shared my concerns with my mum, but she convinced me that no relationship was perfect and encouraged me to go along with it. I also felt guilty because of how much he鈥檇 done for my family. I felt like I owed it to him to help him overcome his addiction and stand by him. And that was exactly what I did for a while.

But my doubts returned when I signed us up for premarital counselling at my church.

Did something happen?

He was so uncooperative that the church expressed  concern about his behaviour. He sometimes showed up high, was rude or outrightly refused to answer some of their questions. I鈥檇 leave the sessions embarrassed.

We only went three times before the church told us they couldn鈥檛 go ahead with the counselling. They advised me not to marry him unless he was willing to change. I tried to get him to participate in some of the programmes they recommended, but he wasn鈥檛 interested.

My mum, as usual, defended him. She blamed the church for being too strict and insisted they were being too picky about the relationship.

Curious. What made you stick around despite his behaviour?

I actually started rethinking my decision to stay. But for reasons I don鈥檛 know, I  believed things could work. So I gave him an ultimatum to get a job if we were going to proceed with marriage.

He agreed, and we eventually spoke to his parents about setting up a furniture business using his friend鈥檚 warehouse in Abeokuta. In July, Joshua moved to Abeokuta to get the business started. 

At first, we spoke regularly  but his calls became inconsistent. He also stopped giving me updates about the business, which made me worry that he was slipping back into his old habits.

Eventually, my mum pressured me to move to Abeokuta to help him settle in. I quit my job in September and moved there. We were still planning to get married in  December.

What happened after you moved in with him?

Living with Joshua made me realise that I couldn鈥檛 marry him. During the three months we鈥檇 spent apart, he had fully relapsed into drug use and  become more violent.  We argued almost every day, and  during one argument, he pushed me so hard that I hit my back against the wall and was in a lot of pain.

His business wasn鈥檛 doing well either. He had wasted most of the capital his parents sent instead of stocking the store.

But what really opened my eyes was when  he went out, got into a fight and stabbed someone in the arm. He was arrested, and I had to start running around trying to get him out. 

I didn鈥檛 have the money for his bail, so I called his parents. They initially refused to help because they were upset about the state of the business and wanted him to face the consequences. He spent two days in custody before his mother eventually sent the money.

That frightened me. I started wondering what would happen if his parents abandoned him. His behaviour was becoming more erratic, and I couldn鈥檛 imagine bringing children into that kind of situation.

Where was your mum in all of this?

She still believed I should stay and help him turn his life around. That was when I realised she cared more about the help she was getting from Joshua than what I was going through. I felt helpless. I鈥檇 already quit my job and moved to an unfamiliar state, and I didn鈥檛 know what to do next.

The situation was eating me up until I finally opened up to one of my cousins in November. She advised against the  marriage and offered to let me stay with her in Lagos.

On 14th November 2025, I left Abeokuta without telling Joshua or my mum.

What happened after you left?

At first, I planned to return after a few days. But the longer I stayed away, the more certain I became that I was done with the relationship. I had even fallen out of love with Joshua.  

When I eventually called off the wedding, everyone was angry and tried to convince me to change my mind. I didn鈥檛 budge. I also refused to go back home to resolve things.

Leaving him meant losing more than the relationship. It also fractured my relationship with my mum. It hurts that she turned a blind eye to his mistreatment and  focused instead on how much I had disappointed everyone by calling off the wedding so close to the date. She鈥檚 still bitter about how I ended the relationship and often brings it up.

We don鈥檛 speak as often anymore because she also makes me feel guilty about not being able to help financially. I only got my first job in April, and I鈥檓 still trying to find my footing. After everything that happened, I don鈥檛 think our relationship will ever be the same.

How have these experiences shaped the way you see love and relationships?

I鈥檝e learnt not to rush into relationships. Joshua and I had barely known each other for a year when we started planning a wedding. Looking back,  things moved so quickly because his family believed settling down would make him more responsible.

Their plan was for me to get swept up and not have enough time to think until it was too late.

Finally, how are the streets treating you these days? Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10

5/10. My experience hasn鈥檛 made me give up on love or wanting a family. But I鈥檓 more careful now. I don鈥檛 want to repeat my parents鈥� history and end up in an unhappy marriage.

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For these Nigerian men, sex hangs incredibly low on their list of priorities. They open up about what has inspired their individual journey to celibacy. 

鈥淚 don鈥檛 want to repeat the cycle鈥� 鈥� Dele*, 29

Growing up, I watched my parents struggle because of my dad鈥檚 infidelity. Seeing how much it affected our family made me afraid that I could end up like him. My dad also told me that, when he was a teenager, his own father used to take him to bars where he was introduced to women. His dad even arranged his first sexual experience. While I don鈥檛 excuse his lack of self-control, I understand that those experiences may have influenced his problems as an adult and normalised that behaviour for him.

I never want to repeat that cycle or hurt my partner the way he hurt my mum. So, for now, I鈥檝e chosen to wait until I鈥檓 with someone I鈥檓 genuinely ready to commit to long-term. It just happens that I haven鈥檛 met that person yet.

鈥淚 don鈥檛 want to be casual about sex鈥� 鈥� Ismail*, 27

For me, an intellectual and emotional bond comes first before anything physical can happen. I even had my first kiss pretty late in university, because I wanted to feel that connection first. To me, sex is the highest form of commitment. I don鈥檛 want to take it lightly.

I鈥檝e seen how some of my friends lose their sense of reasoning and develop unhealthy attachments after sleeping with someone, and I want to make sure I鈥檓 with someone for the right reasons. My last few relationships ended before we got to that point, and I don鈥檛 want to be pressured into sex. I鈥檓 looking for someone I can connect with intellectually, emotionally, and in every other way. I鈥檝e never been casual about my choices. Sex won鈥檛 be any different.

鈥淚鈥檓 scared that sex could derail my progress鈥� 鈥� Matthew* 31

I was exposed to pornography and drugs at a very young age, and they became things I struggled to control. By the time I got to university, I was going downhill and struggled with my mental health. My addictions affected my sense of reasoning and took me to a very low point in my life.

I eventually realised that I get addicted to things easily, so I had to become more disciplined about what I allowed into my life. I was able to break free from those addictions by cutting off the things that were distracting me. I started working out, reading more, and focusing on improving myself. I鈥檝e become much more productive since then, but I鈥檓 scared that if I start having sex, I might get hooked on it and lose the progress I鈥檝e made. I鈥檓 in a relationship, but I鈥檓 waiting until I feel sure.

鈥淚 believe waiting until marriage is the wise thing to do鈥� 鈥� Joshua* 30

I鈥檝e chosen celibacy until marriage, firstly because of my religion. I believe God gives us certain boundaries for a reason. They鈥檙e ultimately meant to protect us and our best interests. I鈥檝e seen people get affected by STIs and pregnancies that derailed their lives into unhealthy patterns, and it reinforced my belief that waiting is a wise choice.

I also think having sex too early can weaken a relationship because people can become more focused on sex than on the other important parts of getting to know each other. I鈥檓 focused on growing with my fianc茅e before taking that step. I believe that being on the same page and fully committed to each other will make sex more meaningful and enjoyable.

鈥淚 realised I was addicted to relationships鈥� 鈥� Juwon* 36

I like to call myself a second virgin because I鈥檝e been celibate for more than three years now. In the past, I used to jump from one relationship to another. In 2022 alone, I was in five relationships. I had to ask myself why I couldn鈥檛 be single for even a month or two.

I realised I was addicted to relationships because of the gratification they gave me. I have never liked casual sex. Many times, I dated people that were clearly wrong for me just because they satisfied those desires. Reflecting on that made me realise I was doing more harm to myself than anything, and I wanted to try a different approach. So now, I鈥檓 abstaining and focusing on building stronger connections first. I鈥檓 also at the age where I want a serious and long-term commitment, ideally leading to marriage.

鈥淪ex is spiritual鈥� 鈥� Paul*, 24

I don鈥檛 think sex should be as casual as people make it out to be these days. I see it as something spiritual, and I believe you take on a part of the person when you鈥檙e intimate with them, whether good or bad. I鈥檝e heard friends share stories about things changing in their lives after sleeping with certain people. While I don鈥檛 necessarily subscribe to that belief, it has reinforced my conviction to be careful about who I let that close.

I鈥檓 a virgin because I only want to be with someone I trust and have built a strong connection with. I鈥檒l know when I鈥檓 ready. I don鈥檛 necessarily tie it to marriage, but I just haven鈥檛 met the right person or been in the right context yet.

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If these lovers came to you for advice today, what would you tell them?

Six years ago when I was just 12, my relatives forced me to marry a girl of 24 because I鈥檓 the only son of the family. We have three children, but people say they are not mine because at that time I was too young to have children. 

Should I chase her away and marry someone in my own age group? –Johnny, Kaduna (DRUM, May 1967)

My trouble is that my landlord’s wife is greatly in love with me, but l鈥檝e never touched or talked to her about love. I even stopped her on many occasions from buying things for me, but she just won’t listen. Her husband has beaten her up once over her obsession with me but still she鈥檚 adamant. I鈥檓 26 and a trader. I don’t want to lose my customers as a result of moving house. What should I do?- Jamanze, Benin (Trust paper, April 1975)

I鈥檓 26 and unmarried. I鈥檓 in love with two girls, aged 22 and 19 and I want to marry soon. One is of my tribe and they both take me to the cinema; neither hates my relationship with the other. I have sought help from my best friends but no one can give me a good answer. What l should I do with these girls?聽 Please, tell me if I need to pick one before they make me go mad.-Magiri, Lagos (Trust paper, April 1975)

I have one thing to tell you about a lady whom I fell in love with early this year. She鈥檚 18 and I鈥檓 21. The girl or woman, I may say, is no longer with me. When she was circumcised according to our custom, I was too late for the engagement. A certain fellow went there earlier than me. Now she is married to that man and yet she has got my child in her womb. What shall I do to bring home my child when it is born?聽–Joshua, Calabar (Trust paper, April 1975)

I鈥檓 25 and married. I fell in love with a prostitute and drove away my wife with our child. When I got to my present station, my girlfriend ran away. Now l鈥檓 alone and I want my wife and child back. I wrote her to return to me but she refused. She said that I should marry my “angel”. Please, tell me how I can get my wife and child back. –Ahmad, Potiskun (Trust paper, April 1975)

My girl refuses to go to bed with me. Instead she has asked me to sleep with other girls until she is ready. This has left me completely bewildered. We have been going together for almost a year now and have been discussing marriage.聽Don’t you think that her asking me to bed other girls is a clear confession of her lack of love for, or loss of interest in me? –Emmanuel, Ebute Metta (DRUM, May 1967)

I鈥檓 a businessman aged 22. I fell in love with 12 girls and I promised to buy each of them a Honda motorcycle. These girls knew each other and they visited me at the same time. I spent nothing less than 鈧�20 to entertain them at each visit. My parents heard about my recklessness and my mother came from our home town to talk to me. As a result of my attitude towards her, my people have rejected me. The worst part of it is that the girls have deserted me after sucking me dry. I don鈥檛 know where to turn.聽–Kawawa, Sokoto (DRUM, November 1978)

I鈥檓 23 but not allowed to bring girls into my father’s house. My father says I should concentrate on my studies first, but I can鈥檛聽 do without having a girlfriend. I鈥檝e been meeting somebody in my friend’s house, but she wants to break up if I don鈥檛 introduce her to my father. I鈥檓 scared of what will become of my agility if I go many months without sex. What should I do?聽–Abdul, Minna (Vintage People, April 1992)

I鈥檓 20 and I鈥檓 in love with a boy of 25. I discovered that he has two children by different women. One of them lives with him while the other is with the mother. I鈥檝e never seen any of the women in his house. What worries me is he doesn鈥檛 tell me about his past. He wants to marry me but I fear he鈥檒l treat me the same way he treated these women. I love him very much and wouldn鈥檛 like to lose him. What answer do I give him?-Vic, Ikot Ekpene (Trust Paper, April 1976)

I had four babies in quick succession and I feel I need a break if not a total stop. I talked to my husband about this and said that I would like to visit the family planning clinic nearest to us for advice. But my husband says respectable married women do not use such devices to stop having babies. He believes that only bad women need them. I just can鈥檛 cope with another child right now as I鈥檓 mentally and physically exhausted. How do I get my husband to agree?聽–Ajoke, Ibadan (Spear, June 1970)

I鈥檓 18 and hopelessly in love with a boy of 20. I wouldn鈥檛聽 like to lose him. He loves me, too. He has informed me that he鈥檒l聽 be going to the U.S.A. to further his studies. He wants to impregnate me before he leaves. He said he鈥檒l then take me to his parents who will look after me until he is back. Is that a sensible arrangement?-Grace, Jos (DRUM, December 1975)

I鈥檓 a 19-year-old worker. I used to have sex every night when I was in the township. I鈥檓 now working in a village. There are no young single women around. All the women are married. I was told I can bed any woman I want, but sleeping with married women is against my religious up-bringing. I wouldn鈥檛聽 like to go against the rules of my denomination and I have no money with which to marry now. Please tell me what to do. –B.D., Zaria (DRUM, December 1975)

My parents want me to marry a particular girl while I want to marry the girl with whom I鈥檓 in love. It happened that I wrote my girl and my parents letters the same day and I mistakenly put the wrong letter in the wrong envelope. Now she鈥檒l know what my parents think of her. How can I win over my parents after this foolish thing I鈥檝e done? I鈥檓 17. –Moshood, Lagos. (DRUM, December 1975)

I fell in love with a girl while I was serving on a mission in the East. The girl loves me too and we plan to marry. Her mother is in agreement with our plan but her father is not. My girl would like to elope with me but she鈥檚 afraid of her dad. I鈥檝e tried every way to win the man over. Now he told me that he鈥檒l allow me to have sex with the girl in his house and that any child we have will be his because my girl is his only child. –John, Lagos (Trust Paper, February 1972)

I鈥檓 a 23-year-old student and so is my boyfriend. I鈥檓 a virgin and my boyfriend respects me for it, but my girlfriends laugh and say that I鈥檒l never bear children if I don鈥檛聽 get deflowered now. I鈥檓 afraid of eventually losing my husband to another woman because of childlessness. Do you suggest I take their advice and get married instead of furthering my studies? At what age is a woman past her prime? –Sandra, Benin (Trust Paper, November 1977)

A week after my wife came to join me in Lagos where I was employed as a steward boy, my master fired me without just cause. My friends told me it was my wife who had brought the bad luck and advised that I should leave her. I鈥檇 been living peacefully with my master until my wife arrived. I saw a native doctor who told her the same thing and added that if I don鈥檛聽 send her back home, I would never get a stable job. I love my wife. We have been married since 1953 and I don鈥檛聽 want to accuse her of bringing me bad luck when we already have four children. Please advise me. –P.K, Nigeria (DRUM, May 1967)

I was 15 and in primary school when I wed a girl of 13. I鈥檓 now better educated while my wife is still illiterate. I feel ashamed each time my friends accompany me home. She respects me and is a good housewife in spite of the mentioned handicap. Do you advise that I send her away. –Eisekhanghor, Kaduna (DRUM, November 1978)

I intend to marry a girl of 19. I am 24. But my greatest problem is that this girl is a witch. She confessed it to me and said that her school mates had done something to her so that she cannot conceive again. Please help me. We already love each other, so what shall I do? –Kummar, Yola (DRUM, November 1978)

I鈥檓 20 and I plan to marry my girl in a few years. Her father said should pay her dowry but I don鈥檛 聽 want to pay it because I regard dowry as buying a slave. I have no money to marry but I love this girl. Is it good to buy a girl with money since the Englishmen stopped slave trade years ago? Tell me what to do to have this girl as my wife. –Kano, Julius (DRUM, January 1971)

Every August, Osogbo comes alive for the Osun-Osogbo Festival, a two-week celebration centred around the Osun Sacred Grove and Osun, the Yoruba deity associated with the river. For generations, devotees, tourists and people from the Yoruba community in Nigeria and the diaspora have gathered for prayers, music, dancing, rituals and the famous procession through the sacred grove.

As the original number one prayer drink, Seaman鈥檚 Schnapps has long had a place in moments where faith and community come together. Over the years, it has remained part of these celebrations while encouraging Nigerians to hold on to the things that make them who they are, even as the ways we express ourselves continue to evolve.

That idea of finding your way back to your roots feels especially relevant today. As the way we connect with our culture changes, there鈥檚 still value in getting back to the basics that ground us. To understand why Osun-Osogbo still means so much today, we have to go back to the beginning. 

It All Started With a Promise

The story behind Osun-Osogbo sounds like a Nollywood fantasy film. According to Yoruba tradition, when early settlers arrived in what is now Osogbo and began clearing the forest to build their home, they encountered Osun. She warned them not to disturb her grove, and both sides reached an agreement: the people would protect and honour the grove, while Osun would protect and bless the community.

That promise became the foundation of what we now know as the Osun-Osogbo Festival. Every year, the community returns to the grove to honour that relationship. Over the years, devotees and community members have kept the tradition alive, passing its stories and practices from one generation to the next.

And this isn鈥檛 just another festival on Nigeria鈥檚 already-packed cultural calendar. The Osun Sacred Grove was declared a UNESCO in 2005, recognising its importance as a surviving centre of Yoruba spirituality and culture.

What makes Osun-Osogbo most interesting is that it hasn鈥檛 been left in the past. Every generation that shows up adds something of its own while keeping the traditions at the centre.

Gen Z Is Finding Its Way Back

For a generation that grew up online, you鈥檇 think old traditions would have a hard time keeping up. Instead, young Nigerians are finding new ways to keep Yoruba culture relevant. 

Music is probably the easiest place to spot this shift. Kayode Oyetoro is mixing with trap, while the growing movement is bringing Yoruba language and sounds into contemporary pop. Even Ayra Starr鈥檚 now has taken Yoruba style to a global audience.

But this isn鈥檛 entirely new. Long before the social media era, the Osun-Osogbo Festival was already bringing music, fashion, art, spirituality and community together in one place. Today, it gives a new generation the chance to experience these traditions directly.

That connection is why celebrations like the Osun-Osogbo festival matter to Seaman’s Schnapps. As Nnenna Uche Onyenacho, Senior Brand Manager at Nigerian Distilleries Limited, puts it, 鈥淥sun-Osogbo is not just a festival. It defines us as a people.鈥� What鈥檚 more is that the brand wants to support the growing interest among young Nigerians in expressing and preserving their roots.

And Seaman鈥檚 isn鈥檛 stopping at Osun-Osogbo. From Ojude Oba to the聽Itsekiri Homecoming and Olojo, the brand is showing up wherever Nigerians are coming together to celebrate who they are. It鈥檚 all part of its 鈥淲elcome Back to Your Roots鈥� message: culture stays alive when every generation finds a reason to embrace it.

In this story, nine Nigerians recount the hurtful moments when their parents put other people鈥檚 opinions and feelings before their own.

鈥淢y mum disgraced me because of someone鈥檚 comment鈥� 鈥� Mide* 24

I realised how much my mum cared about other people鈥檚 opinions  at her friend鈥檚 birthday party last year. Shortly after we arrived, one of her friends saw me at the carpark and commented that my dress was too tight and short. My mum immediately joined in, calling me an ashewo and saying that this was why I never had respectable people around me.

I reminded her that she鈥檇 seen what I was wearing before we left home, but that only made it worse. She raised her voice until she created a scene and even said I couldn鈥檛 enter the venue with her. I was so embarrassed that I went home. What hurt most was how easily she moved on afterwards. She never apologised and acted as though nothing had happened.

鈥淢y dad is only generous to outsiders鈥� 鈥� Emmanuel* 21

My dad is well-off, but it doesn鈥檛 reflect in our lives. I currently stay in a run-down school hostel even though he can afford private accommodation. Before this session, I begged him to let me leave because I鈥檇 fallen sick several times from the mosquitoes, poor water, and hygiene, but he still refused to pay 鈧�400k for a private hostel.

Then my cousin got married that same month and my dad gifted them 鈧�700k on top of all his other contributions. He did that openly knowing people would praise his generosity. Meanwhile, his own children are struggling with basic things. We can鈥檛 even buy Nutella at home because he complains about the cost. I hate watching people praise him for doing good things when his own family has to suffer.

鈥淚鈥檓 being forced to care for my uncle at the expense of my academics鈥� 鈥擳olu*, 29

My mum took in her older brother after he had a stroke. His family had abandoned him years ago because of his abusive behaviour, but my mum felt responsible for him because she鈥檚 the only daughter in the family. The problem is that she鈥檚 now put most of that responsibility on me because I鈥檓 currently unemployed. She expects me to clean up after him, even when he soils himself.

I鈥檝e begged her to at least pay someone to help, but she says it would make the family look bad if we couldn鈥檛 care for our own. Meanwhile, I鈥檓 struggling to keep up with my master鈥檚 programme because  caring for him is time consuming. I鈥檓 trying not to resent the situation, but it鈥檚 hard when no one cares about me. 

鈥淢y mum lives a fake life, and I鈥檝e started to do the same鈥� 鈥� Choice*, 22

My mum is a chronic liar, and growing up around her has affected me. She鈥檇 wear fake gold and tell people she鈥檇 spent millions on it. Sometimes, she鈥檇 even go into debt to attend parties with her wealthy friends. Meanwhile, we鈥檇 be struggling at home, but she was too proud to ask them for help because she wanted to maintain a certain image.

Recently, I realised I鈥檝e started doing the same thing. I travelled home from school by bus and got home around midnight, but when one of my mum鈥檚 friends鈥� children asked about  my journey, I immediately said, 鈥極h, my flight was smooth.鈥� It was such a pointless lie, and I didn鈥檛 even know why I told it. Watching my mum constantly create a better version of our lives to impress people has made me feel like I have to do the same. I feel sad and ashamed.

I was forced to apologise to my uncle after speaking up鈥� 鈥� Samuel*, 28

Shortly before my dad passed, he gave one of my uncles a huge sum of money to start a farming business. But my uncle disappeared with the money, and the business never happened. They continued to have issues over it until my dad died.

Afterwards, my uncle suddenly took charge of the burial preparations as if nothing had happened. I got upset when he started pushing for an elaborate celebration because we were still struggling with medical and funeral expenses. I called him out and said that if he returned some of the money he took, maybe we鈥檇 actually be able to afford a big burial. My mum was furious and said people would blame her for not raising her children to respect their elders. She refused to eat until I apologised to him. 

鈥淢y mum still tells people I鈥檓 a medical doctor鈥� 鈥� Abdul* 20

I feel like I was pressured into medical school because of my parents鈥� expectations. My mum always told people I was very smart, even though I was an average student, because  she really wanted to have a doctor as a child. I didn鈥檛 want to study medicine, but I went along with it and struggled through my first year before the school eventually moved me to biochemistry.

The frustrating part is that my mum still tells people she has a medical doctor as a son. It puts me in a position where I have to lie or play along whenever she talks about me. 

鈥淪he didn鈥檛 speak up about my maltreatment鈥� 鈥� Salama* 34

My mum鈥檚 older sister raised her, so when she needed someone to help around the house, my mum volunteered to send me. Instead of treating me like family, they treated me like a maid. I lived with them from JSS1 to SS2, and constantly complained to my parents about the maltreatment and the poor school I attended. My mum refused to intervene because she didn鈥檛 want to upset him.

Eventually, I ran away and returned  home. My mum still wanted to send me back until other family members intervened. She seemed more upset about how I left than what had made me leave in the first place. Even though it鈥檚 been many years, I鈥檓 glad I left when I did. 

鈥淚鈥檓 being forced to attend church鈥� 鈥� Dike* 24

I was raised in an enclosed and abusive church environment. I can鈥檛 even begin to explain the extent of what I experienced, but I thought it was normal because that was all I knew. As I got older, I noticed too many contradictions and hypocrisies. Earlier this year, I realised that the church no longer aligned with my values and stopped going.

My dad, who is a pastor, was distraught. He tried everything to get me back, from insulting and berating me to begging and emotionally blackmailing me. Eventually,  I returned just to keep the peace. He said he didn鈥檛 care that I no longer believed, but people in the church were already spreading rumours that I wasn鈥檛 attending because I had joined some fraudsters in our area. So every Sunday, I have to sit through church and pretend I want to be there.

鈥淢y dad protected my abuser鈥� 鈥� Esther*, 41

One of my teachers used to single me out and bully me when I was a preteen. One day, he beat me so badly that I needed to go to the hospital. All because I couldn鈥檛 answer a question in class.

My mum was shaken and wanted to take action, but my dad refused. The teacher was an influential member of an association my dad belonged to, and he didn鈥檛 want to cause trouble. He wouldn鈥檛 even confront him or change my school. The teacher got away with it and continued to harass me. I was always a target, and no matter how much I complained, nothing was done. It happened many years ago, but I still think about it.

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She needs your advice. What would you do in her situation?

My biological mum died in 2010. I was six at the time, so most of my memories from before then are a blur. I only remember that she had been sick for a while and that her sister, Aunty Kemi*, moved in with us to take care of my brother and me.

Over time, I grew fond of  Aunty Kemi, and I was happy when she offered to stay after my mum died. I barely paid any mind to her interaction with my dad, so it came as a surprise when he announced their wedding in February 2012.  He explained that if I wanted her to continue living with us and caring for my brother and me, they had to get married.

I was still young and clueless about many things, so his explanation made sense. I was excited, even. And that feeling of joy only grew deeper when, about a year after their marriage, Aunty Kemi welcomed my first half-brother. 

We moved from Lagos to Ekiti shortly afterwards, and my dad made sure Aunty Kemi became 鈥淢ummy鈥�. As the years rolled by and she welcomed more children,  she never treated me differently. To everyone around us, I was one of hers.

For years, I barely thought about my biological mum. Nobody really talked about her at home. I remember one old, faded photograph of her that used to hang in my room. I didn鈥檛 notice when it disappeared. I only found it much later, tucked behind my dad鈥檚 bedframe while I was cleaning.

By secondary school, I鈥檇 started to realise that our family was a little unusual. I didn鈥檛 want to explain it to people, so I never told anyone that Aunty Kemi wasn鈥檛 my biological mum. I didn鈥檛 even want to think about it either.

That changed last year. In my second year of university, I needed to complete a three-month internship during the holidays, but I couldn鈥檛 find a placement in Ekiti. I eventually found one in Lagos and had to stay with my mum鈥檚 aunt. My dad wasn鈥檛 comfortable with the idea at first, but eventually, I left for Lagos.

For the first time, I was around someone who openly talked about my biological mum. My aunt would point out small similarities between us and tell me stories about my mum鈥檚 personality and childhood. At first, it felt strange hearing so much about a woman I barely remembered. But the more I learnt, the more curious I became. The more I started wondering why my dad and Mummy Kemi had never told me these things.

One day, while talking to my aunt about how much I disliked living in Ekiti, she opened a Pandora鈥檚 box about why we鈥檇 left Lagos.

Apparently, people in our community had started spreading rumours about my dad and Aunty Kemi鈥檚 relationship after my mum died.聽 My aunt didn鈥檛 approve of the union, either. When she got pregnant, the gossip grew worse.

People openly treated them differently, and some even refused to hold their baby. Eventually, the hostility forced them to make the move out of Lagos.

I didn鈥檛 know what to make of the new information at first. But the more I learnt about my mum, the more guilty I felt about how little I remembered of her. I didn鈥檛 even know where she was buried. When I asked my dad once, he told me she was buried in a cemetery in Lagos. And that was the end of that conversation; we never even visited her grave. On her death anniversaries, we only said a short prayer and moved on.

After a while, I started sharing the knowledge I鈥檇 gathered with my younger brother. He also deserved to know about our mum.  However, my dad didn鈥檛 take kindly to my action. He was angry and told me to stop feeding him false information. He also picked a quarrel with my mum鈥檚 aunt and made sure I returned home earlier than planned.

But that didn鈥檛 stop me from asking questions. His action only made me more determined.

One day, I told Mummy Kemi how I鈥檇 learnt that my mum loved reading and keeping diaries. I asked if any of her books were still in the store. She said she didn鈥檛 know and changed the subject. Her entire demeanour changed, and it was hard to ignore.

Later that evening, she told my dad about our conversation. Then he confronted me for making her uncomfortable. When I tried to stand my ground, he got angry and accused me of trying to create confusion in the family.

He claimed that my mum鈥檚 aunt had poisoned my mind because he鈥檇 refused to let her take custody of my brother and me. He believed that disagreement was why she had supported the rumours about his relationship with Aunty Kemi.

Then he told me they鈥檇 burnt most of my mum鈥檚 belongings, including her books. He said it so casually that I suddenly realised how little space my mum occupied in our family鈥檚 life.

My brother doesn鈥檛 really see things the way I do. He thinks asking questions about my mum is disrespectful, considering everything our aunty has done for us.

That鈥檚 what makes this so difficult. I love and respect my aunty. I can鈥檛 pretend she hasn鈥檛 been my mother in every way that matters. But she鈥檚 also my mum鈥檚 sister. I expect her to willingly help me learn about the woman whose place she鈥檚 taken. Since I left for school, our relationship hasn鈥檛 been the same. I feel uncomfortable about the way she has handled everything, and I already dread going home.

My mum鈥檚 memorial is also coming up, and I wish we could do something to remember her. But I鈥檓 worried that bringing it up could cause another conflict. To keep the peace, I might just have to suppress these feelings until I鈥檓 old enough to leave home.

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

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Bella vs Sheggz 

The Shella ship, which lasted four years after the Big Brother Naija (S7) house, sank into a very public fallout this year. After Sheggz announced their breakup, leaked chats revealed disagreements over marriage, with Bella accusing Sheggz of owing her 鈧�11 million and taking legal action over an alleged . Sheggz鈥檚 legal team hit back with claims detailing how much he had spent on Bella during their relationship. For now, both sides are locked in a legal battle.

Lizzy Anjorin vs Iyabo Ojo 

Although Iyabo Ojo and Lizzy Anjorin were never particularly close, they moved in the same Nollywood circles until things took a turn in 2023. What started with subtle jabs escalated into both actresses trading accusations and taking their grievances to social media. By 2025, over alleged defamation. A judge later tried to mediate between them, but the peace did not last for long. Lizzy has continued to take jabs at Iyabo. At this point, whenever Iyabo is in the news, you can almost bet Lizzy will have something to say.

Lizzy Anjorin vs Tope Alabi 

Lizzy Anjorin鈥檚 feud with gospel singer Tope Alabi started with what was supposed to be her birthday surprise in April 2025. Lizzy鈥檚 fans reportedly paid 鈧�2.5 million to have Tope perform, only for the singer to leave after discovering who the celebration was for. The money was refunded, but Lizzy took to social media to call her out and question the decision. 

Tope鈥檚 exact reason for leaving was never confirmed, although her representatives said they felt deceived after Lizzy鈥檚 identity was deliberately kept from them. Others speculated that her decision was linked to Lizzy鈥檚 controversies.

Tonto Dikeh vs Bobrisky

In 2020, Tonto Dikeh and Bobrisky went from being besties to sworn enemies. Their friendship reportedly fell apart after over a video of Bob spraying money on one of her enemies. From there, things played out very publicly, with both parties leaking chats and Bobrisky accusing Tonto of owing 鈧�5 million, among other allegations.

After years of back-and-forth, the two eventually mended their relationship when Tonto reached out to Bobrisky, who was in prison in 2024. They followed each other again and have appeared to be cool since then.

P-Square Brothers

What was thought to be a creative disagreement between twin brothers and musical duo Peter and Paul Okoye of P-Square turned out to be a family feud involving their older brother and former manager, Jude. The brothers officially went their separate ways in 2017 and spent years apart before reuniting in 2021, but the relationship didn鈥檛 quite stay the same. By 2024, fresh disagreements over the group鈥檚 finances and management had split them up again.

Earlier this month, Peter came online with a series of videos accusing Jude and Paul of diverting P-Square鈥檚 funds and royalties. The matter has since spilt into an ongoing and .

BlaqBonez vs Odumodublvck 

Musicians BlaqBonez and Odumodublvck were friends and collaborators before a woman reportedly came between them in 2024. , he had previously been in a non-exclusive relationship with the woman without knowing she was dating Odumodu. 

Their fallout has since taken a more serious turn, with Odumodublvck accusing BlaqBonez of harassment and sexual abuse, allegations BlaqBonez has denied. Both sides have taken legal action, and the matter is still pending.

Tacha vs  Mercy Eke

Tacha and Mercy Eke鈥檚 rivalry started in the Big Brother Naija house in 2019. An argument between the two escalated into a physical confrontation, resulting in Tacha being disqualified from the show. 

Their relationship wasn鈥檛 any better outside the house, with their fan bases (the Titans and the Mercenaries) fueling the rivalry. But in 2022, the former housemates reconciled and have appeared to be on good terms since then.

Diiadem vs Dabota Lawson

Diiadem and Dabota Lawson were close friends before their relationship fell apart this year. The fallout began when Diiadem Dabota of sharing information about her with bloggers, while Dabota denied the allegations and accused Diiadem of jealousy. 

In the weeks since, the two have traded accusations over money and betrayals involving business opportunities. It鈥檚 a surprising turn for the pair, who both starred on the third season of The Real Housewives of Lagos and seemed inseparable on the show.

Davido vs Wizkid

Davido and Wizkid鈥檚 rivalry has been on-and-off for over a decade. One of the earliest stories linked to their fallout dates back to 2012, when an insider alleged that at a club with a 鈧�500,000 bill to settle. Neither of them confirmed that account, but the story became part of the lore around their strained relationship. 

Over the years, they鈥檝e had brief moments of peace and even in 2017, but the jabs have kept coming. In 2024, Wizkid reignited the rivalry with a at Davido, and the two went back and forth online. Their fan bases, 30BG and Wizkid FC, have also kept the rivalry going by constantly comparing the two stars.

Burna Boy vs Speed Darlington

Burna Boy and Speed Darlington鈥檚 feud started in 2024 after Speed Darlington Burna Boy over his Grammy win and linked him to Diddy. The issue turned legal when Burna Boy pursued a case that led to Speed Darlington鈥檚 arrest and detention on two occasions. 

Frank Edoho vs Chik茅

Frank Edoho鈥檚 fallout with singer Chik茅 became public in 2026 after Edoho announced his separation from his wife, Sandra, and hinted that he had caught her cheating with a musician. A later revealed that he had confronted Chik茅 over the alleged affair. Chik茅 has stayed quiet about the allegations. 

Funke Akindele vs Toyin Abraham

Funke Akindele and Toyin Abraham鈥檚 relationship had been fragile for years, partly fuelled by their status as two of Nollywood鈥檚 biggest box-office stars. 

Their rivalry flared up again earlier this year when at Iyabo Ojo鈥檚 movie premiere. After the video went viral, both actresses unfollowed each other, with Toyin expressing her frustration and saying she would never greet Funke again. Mutuals, including Iyabo Ojo, have since attempted to reconcile them, but the two have yet to make peace publicly.

Doris Ogala vs Pastor Chris Okafor 

In late 2025, Doris Ogala set up a camera and Pastor Chris Okafor of having a secret relationship with her and breaking a promise to marry her shortly after he got engaged to someone else.

In the months that followed, she made claims about his ministry and filed a 鈧�1 billion lawsuit against him. Chris later to Doris publicly, only to retract the apology months later, deny her allegations and countersue Doris.

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