91´óÉñ

Are you a woman who wants to live her life free of little terrorists? This article is for you. We’ve put together a list of effective methods for women. 

1. The blood of Jesus.

There is nothing the blood of Jesus can’t prevent, especially unwanted pregnancies and children. The best way to make the blood of Jesus work is by shouting it before, during and after having sex. 

2. Lesbianism.

Lesbianism is a very effective birth control method since other women can’t get you pregnant and you can’t get another woman pregnant either. Being a lesbian comes with the advantage of good and reckless sex. 

3. The price of school fees.

The price of school fees is enough to keep your sexual activity minimal and make you thread with caution when having sex. All you have to do is think about how much schools cost and stop yourself from getting pregnant. This method doesn’t make sex any less enjoyable tho. 

4. The thought of losing your peace of mind.

Kids bring nothing to the table and all they do is make you tired and miserable from morning till night. Keeping that thought at the back of your mind is a good way to protect yourself from getting pregnant. A child being cute won’t make it stress you any less. 

5. Holy water.

Sprinkling holy water on your body is a good way to wade off pregnancy. Holy water reduces the possibility of having children, all you have to do is command the water to stop you from getting pregnant. 

*Research done by 91´óÉñ*

6. The price of baby food.

Babies eat so much food for human beings so tiny and jobless and there’s no reason why their food should cost so much, but it does. Keeping a pricelist of baby food close to when having sex is also a very effective birth control method.

7. Celibacy.

Maybe you should try being celibate and just focus on your life. Enjoy the peace and reward celibacy brings.