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  • 6 Proven Ways to Find Love as a Couch Potato

    Here鈥檚 how to find love as a couch potato who never leaves their house.

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    Couch potatoes like me have an interesting relationship with our houses, beds and couches, and it鈥檚 not because the outside world is too uncomfortable; no, we just prefer those places. 

    The problem with being a couch potato is that there鈥檚 no spice. We don鈥檛 go out enough and if we鈥檙e single, we can鈥檛 claim to be in the 鈥渟treets鈥. But unwilling as we are to go outside, we do want to be touched and loved by someone who can talk back to us and hold us at night,

    So how can break up with our couches and find love? 

    Here are a few proven ways to do it, tested and trusted.

    Wake up every morning and shout, 鈥淢y partner!鈥 three times into your bathroom mirror 

    This works, I can鈥檛 lie. One day, your partner will appear to you in the mirror and find a place in your life. Also, standing in the mirror will make you love yourself more than you already did before, and it鈥檚 going to make your partner love you with ease. 

    RELATED: 7 Reasons Why You鈥檒l Continue Saying 鈥淕od When鈥

    Put up a banner that says 鈥淚 need a life partner鈥 on your gate

    For better exposure, place copies around your estate and your car too. You need the ad to reach the desired party. Putting it on your car won鈥檛 help sha because you hardly ever drive it out. But you can beg your outdoorsy neighbours and friends to put it on their cars on your behalf.聽

    Get on dating apps

    The is the number of how-are-yous you鈥檒l answer in one day. To save time, I鈥檒l advise you prepare a spreadsheet including all your information so you can send it out to each match Let them read through and decide whether or not they鈥檙e moving on with you. 

    RELATED: 10 Types of Guys You鈥檒l Find on Dating Apps

    Use your social media more

    Yeah, I know, you want to be on Twitter sharing your random thoughts and only use your Instagram once in a blue moon 鈥 and that鈥檚 fine. But you need to optimize your accounts to find love. 

    Tell your friends to tell their friends about you

    I鈥檓 sure there鈥檚 someone in your friend’s friendship circle that matches your taste, and they鈥檝e not told them about you yet. O wrong nau. You aren鈥檛 outside doesn鈥檛 mean you鈥檙e not on the streets too. Or do your friends want you to be single for the rest of your life?

    Take pottery classes 

    When push comes to shove, you will have to mould your partner and breathe life into them. The partner you mould for yourself is definitely going to be better than the one you find on the road or any other methods you try. Moulding your ideal partner by yourself isn鈥檛 the only benefit, as you can also make as many as you like with different specs. Oh, spicy! 

    ALSO READ: 11 Quick Ways to End a Talking Stage That Isn鈥檛 Going Anywhere


    91大神 has launched a new series where we explore those friendships, familial and romantic relationships that are no longer sailing.

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